'AND NOW WE HAVE! THE FEARSOME! SAVAGE! TINY TERROR!-- PORKCHOP! WILL HE CHOP AND DEVOUR HIS OPPONENT'S PORK? OR BE DEVOOOOOOOOOOURED HIMSELLLLLLF?!!'
Porkchop squealed angrily, making as much screaming piglet noise as he could. No! He wouldn't be devoured by ANYBODY! He was sure the sheer volume alone would be quite terrifying, but his true self, CHARGING OUT THE DOORS on stubby piglet legs, would surely be scary enough to give his opponent a heart attack! Easy win!
Or... not so easy? Porkchop faltered and nearly stumbled as his opponent, a massive black cat with BIG FANGS, came out of his door. He probably weighed over half the cat's weight by now, but 1. that was still a big weight difference, and 2. Porkchop was a lot denser than Vicktor was.
But he couldn't lose momentum! That'd make it even harder to win! All he had to do was think about the rewards that awaited. POWER! GLORY!!! FOOD!!!!! That was enough to motivate any ambitious child lacking in foresight to fight a massive predator without fear! Porkchop charged forward at top speed, lowering his head and screaming at the top of his lungs. If he managed to get close enough, he'd toss his head upward in an attempt to get the cat with his sapphire tusks.
@Vicktor
ATTEMPT: charge Vicktor
DEFENSE: head lowered
INJURIES: not yet
Porkchop scream-squealed with triumph as his tusks struck true, piercing the black cat in the side.
"YEAHHHHHHHH!" he yelled, tugging himself free and doing a little dance on his little piglet hooves. And then...
Nothing happened? Well, maybe his opponent was just too scared to fight now! Ha! He'd shown him! Porkchop pranced in a circle around Vicktor, squealing and doing a little victory dance.
"I WIN! ~" he declared happily. Look at him! This little piglet just beat a massive predator several times his size! Where were his prizes and glory? --did he get more treats now?
@Vicktor
ATTEMPT: none
DEFENSE: vicktor's personal principles
INJURIES: hale and hearty
"UM, EX-CUUUSE ME?!"
[Heavy metal music stops.]
In a flash, Nemean was buzzing in front of the walking porkchop's face with her paws on her hips. "NUH-UH! Time out!"
She spun, fluttering toward the jaguar. "You're supposed to be kicking ass back! Ripping and tearing! Like my notes right here say!" And would you look at that, Nemean'd conjured up a sheet of paper with unintelligible scribbles on them. Sunny eyes squinted at them like a mom with a phone, and she harrumphed. "Yep, right here: Vicar (or whatever) will do Deathmatchly things because it's in the name and Nemean needs her ENTERTAINMENT."
At the last word, she threw the piece of paper on the floor and it disappeared in a puff of pink glitter. "Get that piece of meat! Run away! Do something! Or else I'm pulling the trigger for Big Fucking Monster over there." (Said monster, Draconua, was chest deep in a carcass.)
Nemean blitzed back to Chadsworthington, awaiting the big cat's decision with glinting yellow eyes and a sharp-toothed grin. Whatever he decided, it'd be great.
@Vicktor
Porkchop's face slowly twisted itself into the stereotypical angry expression: >:(
"NOT FAIR!" he tried, petulantly, to interrupt Nemean's complaints.
"He's clearly surrendering--look! I got BLOOD! I WON!" In what world did he not win?? Look at Vicktor: he was just
standing there, clearly too shell-shocked by the sheer power of Porkchop's attacks to defend himself!
He flinched at the threat of Big Death Machine Over There. That never went well for anyone involved in a fight. Maybe if he could gore Vicktor a few more times she wouldn't need to get involved--NOPE, Vicktor was about to take things into his own hands! Claws. Or teeth, more accurately, as his massive fangs snapped straight for the piglet's face.
Porkchop lurched backward, but it was not quick enough. Piglet skin was no match for big cat fangs, which became
very painfully evident as Vicktor latched on to his face. Porkchop screamed with terror, thrashing (literally) blindly, but each movement seemed to make the fangs tear worse into his face. Blood streamed into his eyes, one of which was partially inside Vicktor's jaws, and into his mouth.
Suddenly, Porkchop didn't feel so powerful anymore.
@Vicktor
ROUND 3/?
i feel like this damage cannot be expressed with numbers%
ATTEMPT: gtfo of here
DEFENSE: eek running away
INJURIES: big cat attached to face
Content Warning
This post contains potentially sensitive material:
Porkchop couldn't tell which streams of liquid running down his face were blood and which were tears. It didn't matter anyway; he was screwed no matter what. Nemean's bloodthirsty cheers and the roar of the crowd seemed to fade into the background. There was only his squealing screams, and Vicktor's fangs tearing ever deeper into his flesh. Skin, fat, and muscle ripping apart--no piglet's soft tissues were a match for the jaws of a predator like this. They would only stop if they met bone, and maybe not even then.
But Porkchop seemed to get a lucky break for now. He wasn't dead yet, for one, although he wasn't aware enough to count his blessings on that one. He wasn't even aware that his throat felt like it was torn apart from so much screaming. His mind was having a hard enough time swimming through the haze of pain and blood loss, as anyone's might, and the jaguar's jaws locked around his face was a much bigger concern
The pressure had stopped
increasing, at least, and Porkchop took the opportunity to intensify the flailing kicks. He was too afraid to jerk his head from side to side, even if letting Vicktor hold onto it probably meant death either way. But he lashed out wildly with his hooves, desperately hoping to score a hit somewhere. The shoulder? His head? Maybe he'd get lucky and hit an eye. Maybe the jaguar would finally let go then.
@Vicktor
Round 4
Attempt: kick Vicktor
Defense: kicking
Injuries: face getting bitten off