ORIGIN - hold on, hold on, hold on to the old days

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Was it so natural to be constantly swept beneath the surface of its tumultuous stream of consciousness? To be looking from the outside-in and incapable of comprehending a single thought passing through without minutes of picking apart the nuance within.

(Strange, how trading away its feelings had made it worse, not perfect.)

But, for Vargas to take the blame for its failings? That was new. New, strange, and… wrong. It hadn't lied when it trusted him, saw his words for what they were: truth. (Except for when it's mind, slipped far away, mangled every interpretation beyond recognition just to fabricate a sharp-edged sword swinging at its throat.)

Orthoclase-Alpha wouldn't say as much; it just swallowed down the misgiving with a bob of quills and nodded. Acknowledgement via minimal response.

@Vargas

- THE LEVIATHAN -

He had no way of knowing how much it understood, but the nod was assent and he had no choice but to accept it as such. In fairness, Orthoclase-Alpha had been more... aware, more vocal, than usual today.

And he'd given it enough pressure these last few minutes.

Vargas glanced out across Pegasus, away from the shattered door and his spawn, thinking. "So... you are reluctant to speak to the rest?" It went without saying--or rather, it did for Vargas--that an Overseer could not Oversee without actually speaking to those they were Overseeing. But he hesitated to bluntly tell the Orthoclase--not now, not after all of this--that it had been demoted. He wasn't sure if it'd see that as good, or bad, but now wasn't the time.

He intended, either way, simply to postpone that choice: it was quite possible that Alpha would simply need a little time to recover enough to resume its duties. And if not? Then he could... reassign it.

But for now, he had to think of something else for it to do, unless it suddenly regained its courage here and now.

@Orthoclase-Alpha

The spotlight shifted away at last, not unlike the sun dipping beneath the horizon. Somehow, Alpha hadn't been aware of the imagined heat that gaze piereced its hide with until it was directed elsewhere. That left its own gaze free to wander; not far, but just toward the nearby oxbow lakes and reeds. Cattails swayed in the quiet—quiet!—breeze.

It wasn't… quite as overwhelming as before. Or, maybe it wasn't quite as hyperaware. "So…" managed not to break the spell, "you are reluctant to speak to the rest?"

Orthoclase-Alpha nodded again, sure of that at least. After the singular bob of its head, it dipped its snout rather than holding it level again. Shame and failure burning hot in its gullet.

That much had not changed in the past however-long—even if it's own… vague interpretation of all that Vargas was had (all for the more confusing, but… it was tired. Too tired to puzzle that out for itself, if it cared to at all.)

@Vargas

- THE LEVIATHAN -

Vargas grunted quiet acknowledgment.

Another nod. Again, at least it was responding, but... Did it understand?

More importantly: should he offer it a choice? Alpha had not been known, of late, to be a very good decision-maker, preferring instead to stare glassy-eyed at the ground. Still-... Perhaps it would be well enough now to try.

"Then we will delay the decision as to whether to reinstate you as Overseer. An Overseer needs to be able to communicate with those they are Overseering," Vargas explained. "In the meantime... you could hunt, and provide food to the Forge or you might join the Sentinel in guarding both the Aperture, and any unhatched chrysalises." Is there anything else? he wondered. But he couldn't think of much, not anything that wouldn't require speaking to others, really. "Do either of those appeal to you?" he asked, carefully, "-Or can you think of another way to serve the Forge--what was it, one day out of three?"

@Orthoclase-Alpha

Reinstate.

In the moment, a different Orthoclase might have latched onto that with a frenzied intensity, took it for what it was; this one was resigned, growing apart and angling to disengage at any moment. Simply seeking something to keep itself from being idle, too able to drown in its own head.

In the moment, neither option held more merit than another, not that Alpha would have made a decision anyways.

Chitinous shoulders rolled upward in a noncomittal gesture. "Wuh-tever—" it murmured softly, "y-you decide." As long as it was something it could do, to find some semblance of activity, something to prove itself worthy again.

Even if it was from the bottom up.

@Vargas

- THE LEVIATHAN -

Vargas grunted. "Begin with both, then. Alternate them if you wish. And let me know if you change your mind and choose one over the other. Meanwhile: try to speak to others, at least a little. Your abilities with that will not return if you remain isolated."

At least--he assumed. Living like a feral thing was, he now guessed, what had caused the Orthoclase to spiral so badly. He might be wrong, he knew, but at the same time it was his best guess. It might cause some stress to his spawn, its needing to speak to others but--letting it revert to its own devices had proven... suboptimal in the past.

"And try to speak with Zoisite; I will not force it but try. Now and then. If you cannot, then tell me. We will revisit this in... let us say, two cycles' time? Is that enough?"

Would it be? He couldn't tell.

"Unless you choose to come to me sooner. Keep me updated on your progress, meanwhile. I do not want you to sleep back into... whatever it is that had claimed you." He was blunt, this time, because delicacy in Alpha's case did not pay off very well.

@Orthoclase-Alpha

Checklist. Directives. Routine. Agency-free actions.

Those, it could deal with, settle into. Orthoclase-Alpha could accept that without much fretting over seemingly inevitable failure—aside from the tasks that came with try. Speaking to others, not letting itself languish and waste away, keeping itself in the shape that it was in by virtue of chrysalis. The monstrous hybrid unwound somewhat, visibly relaxing and nodding along; just the faintest glitter of clarity in its half-lidded eyes.

It'd give most of its efforts to the latter two.

As for Zoisite... that remained in the air whether it would ever genuinely act on that request. It shied away from the raw sort-of terror the mere suggestion sent skittering through its chest. There was too much of a reminder of what Heart beat between its ribs. The wounds incurred in that incident were still far too raw.

Alpha resolved to avoid it for as long as possible, even the two months Vargas suggested. Its snout tipped up and down in another silent nod. Affirmative, loud and clear, dismissed? Toxic eyes pinched into a squint as it made its mental checklist.

They narrowed further, for just a split second at the reassurance of... caring, implied or nonexistent as it may have been. With new awareness came new impossibility to ignore, and that... soured the vague inkling of good spirits in its smoothed-down mane. Just the barest hints of a scowl on parting jaws, a camera flash, and it was gone—Alpha pressed its teeth back together, and it nodded again.

@Vargas

- THE LEVIATHAN -

"Good," Vargas said, and then--showing just the barest brush of his old Overseer self, though more out of concern than anything--"you are dismissed, and to that I expect a 'yes, sir' or 'yes, Master Vargas' at the very least. Or anything else you'd like to add."

Concern, because he had to know the damn thing could still speak, though his tone, at least, was... patient.

@Orthoclase-Alpha

Dismissed indeed, with the expectation for what was already coming on clicking jaws: "Yes, Mmm-a-ster Vargas, sir." That, it was always capable of, as easy as breathing and profuse apologies for even the most minute thing.

Orthoclase-Alpha even made itself sit straighter, resembling half the looming, dignified monster it'd once been before it stood. Perhaps the prideful, cocky squint of eyes was no longer there, and it was worse for wear even with healed-over scars and chitin, but... there was the flickering shadow of the former self.

It stood, giving Pegasus a cursory glance-around, the cramped house behind it, and turned back to Vargas; the very picture of a child lost in a grocery store, or perhaps the new school they've transferred into, unfamiliar with where their classes were. Where to? Just sleeping elsewhere?

Putrescent eyes fixed on the violet behemoth for a moment, snout tipping up and down in rhythm with its scanning. Quills flared in a single wave, glowing points glimmering in the bright daylight.

Then, without much preamble, they turned away and it... began to just merely wander off. Not quite hurried, but at no relaxed pace. The balls of its feet scarcely made contact with the ground.

Exit, unless stopped?
@Vargas

- THE LEVIATHAN -

Vargas was also pushing up to go, haunches leaving the dirt. He'd expected Alpha to slip back into the damaged houses, but... off it went, distinctly lost. He'd have perked a brow, were his brows not an immovable ridge of pebbled flesh.

One mental shrug later he'd turned away, heading back direction: farm.

He hoped that the Orthoclase would recover; this had been... promising, he thought. Perhaps I should've given it another pun, just for good measure, as I left, he thought. It was a humorous concept but he pushed down the idea of chasing after Orthoclase-Alpha to shout jokes after it, funny as it'd have been.

For now, he'd just have to hope that--for once--he'd taken the correct steps forward with his spawn. That he hadn't, at least, taken several backward. And he'd let the Zoisite know that he'd done as it had asked.

Alpha, though? Alpha was on its own--for now. Hopefully, it would follow the instructions it'd accepted, and make its way back to Draco rather than vanishing again into some hell-den of its own making. He'd have to wait and see, but for once, he felt... almost hopeful.

exit Vargas

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