Giggle snorted her amusement.
@Anubis
Giggle snorted her amusement.
Anubis only really half listened. It seemed that his curious question had gotten the hyena to go on a whole tirade. Well, she certainly had a frustratingly long history with cats, but the thing that sparked Anubis's attention was "void". She had mentioned it off-hand before, but he had assumed that it was hyperbolic. Just a phrase of speaking. But the way she said it now made it seemed like there was a literal void somewhere that Giggle had, somehow, been pulled into.
He tilted his head.
He swallowed heavily.
Giggle hesitated--glanced up, eyed Anubis, and truly hesitated.
She hesitated again.
She was--he was--suspended in the nothing. It wasn't like a dark room: there was no air to breathe, no ground underfoot, indeed no gravity or up or down. No life, no echo to her (his) voice when she (he) screamed, almost no sound at all. Hours and days passed in those seconds: time in which she (he) could no longer be sure which sounds and sights were real, and which were false. The voice in her (his) head was foreign, real, someone talking here or there. Total sensory deprivation, rife with the utter terror of the lost--the fear is this forever? and the horror that it very well might be.
Nothing but the self, wasting away, physically and mentally. Reality torn to pieces, leaving shattered madness in its wake, all steeped in mindless, constant fear.
She withdrew. She left him to silence, to peace, the memories of the Void retracted from his head--and without a word Giggle turned away, going back to work.
He could see the hesitation in her and for a moment he wondered if he overstepped. Was this too much to ask of her? A place she didn't want to go to, to think about, to inflict on him, oh so much younger then her? His ears pointed back and he nodded, planting himself on the ground, pressing his front paws into the rock beneath, as if it were an anchor. He swallowed heavily and prepared himself as she stepped forward.
But nothing could have prepared him for what Giggle pressed into his mind. Eyes widened and went cloudy, ears pressed hard against his skull and his tail tucked from the pure fear that singed through every nerve. A short whimper escaped his throat, although he didn't hear it. He couldn't hear anything, he couldn't see. The darkness pressed in from all sides, suffocating, maddening. He struggled to escape but he couldn't feel his own body, couldn't make his muscles work. His magic flared in his panic, black frills sprouting from his skin, but it was no use. Nothing could protect him from this. Nothing could stop it. He was going to be here forever.
He thought his lungs were going to explode. He thought his heart would surely break from the fear and loneliness. Surely this was what Death felt like. The complete Nothing of forever, the end of all things. No afterlife, no revival, no nothing but dark empty Void.
Yet he returned, as Giggle had, the darkness pulling back from his mind. For a moment, everything was blurry and he realized he was trembling, breath coming in pants. The inky black mushrooms were still covering him and he latched onto the feeling of protection. He was okay - he was alive.
For a few minutes, there was peace and quiet as Anubis processed what had happened to him - and to her - and then his voice croaked, quiet and...was that awe?
Giggle glanced back, sharply, and shook her head.
She'd have called Omen back, shown her to the jackal, but the bird was currently keeping careful watch on Canis from above. Her circling was giving Giggle a constant feed of where those Praetors were, and where the white gunk was.
Speaking of which: the hyena glanced about, and found the last bit of white fuzz still lurking. A brief flicker of magic shoved it away to wither and die on bare rock, and she glanced back at Anubis again.
Anubis was struggling with belief at the moment. If that was not death then what on earth was it? Perhaps her mind had been cast there, to the Void, to the nothing beyond life, but then how did a bird manage to go between? Were they somehow transcendent of life? Were they travelers between the light and dark?
But that couldn't be possible. Knowledge and questions whirled in his head. He needed to retreat and sort through things. He couldn't ask anymore or he would explode. He needed to research himself, in silence and solitude.
He shook his head.
She shook her head, a gentle certainty to her.
Explaining how, even now, sometimes she had a hard time discerning her thoughts from reality. How when things got truly, deeply stressful, she approached that breaking point to nearly snap. How her words had been impossible to control--how she'd gone from eloquent to gibbering, and fought still to sound at least coherent.
She didn't. It was... too much, too much to explain, too much to lay out and detail and slow Anubis down with. Even with her burdens, she could tell that he was trying to close off this conversation--and the strange spike of loneliness that speared her then, she pushed away.
Giggle could take turns with Omen for keeping watch and sleeping. Anubis-? He'd be all alone.
Anubis's ears twitched with faint surprise when lips curled back and she pronounced herself mad. She didn't seem to be unstable but, perhaps, that trauma lay beneath the surface. He still had much to learn about the machinations of others' minds.
He dipped his head, truly grateful for the time she'd given him and for her help with the fungus.
He dipped his head again, a quiet farewell, before he turned and trotted off into Canis, headed back towards his cave, head almost spilling over with information and ideas for new experiments to try.
*exit
She gave him a single nod.
She'd have had, then, that typical spike of loneliness--that faint ache of grief at his departure, at being left alone again. But the faint warmth along her mental link reminded her she was not alone, not really. Kerberos was still with her, in some sense, and as she realized this that warmth bloomed. Gratitude, and simple joy, flickered back up and did not leave her cold.
Neat.