ORIGIN

Eleanora did not make a habit of following Lilith to Draco when she needed to stabilize. It was always safer if she went alone and Master Vargas's warning ever echoed in her ears. Of course, she barely breathed when Lilith was gone, holding onto their bond like a lifeline, waiting for a shift, a change, dreading it would go dark again when she was not there with her. She knew she didn't have to worry about Lilith, of course. She was strong, so much stronger then her, so it wasn't a matter of Ellie protecting her. But she did not think she would be able to handle losing their bond again, especially if she was not there to be lost with her.

But it was also a matter of privacy.

Lilith was so...different. Not just in her appearance, but the anger she displayed was so much deeper then it had been on the surface. She had always been a much colder and darker person then her wife, but she had never displayed the kind simmering rage and hatred she showed now. At least, not that she could remember.

She knew it was whatever that black crystal spire had done to her. And she knew Lilith hated it. But it was an inescapable facet of her love now, something she would have to learn to love, and perhaps help Lilith love it too. Or learn to live with it. She wasn't sure. Which was why she had deemed to come with her this time. She wanted to understand.

It had been a little unnerving, to see Lilith meditating before the Black Spire that caused Ellie herself physical discomfort to even be in the presence of. She stayed a distance away and waited, out of the range of its radiation, for Lilith to be done. And when she was, she quietly smiled, threaded their fingers together, and accompanied her back.

The walk through the tunnel was quiet, tense, and it was only broken as they strolled without haste through the fields of Pegasus, the bubbling of the river a soft noise in the background and the gentle winds a comforting embrace. Eleanora took a breath and asked, "What is it like?" She glanced at Lilith, wondering if she understood and was willing to answer. It wasn't something they had talked about in the months living in the caves together, but she wasn't willing to shy away from it anymore.

Ellie was quiet, listening and remembering. Her brief time in Draco, seeing the Spire in the distance, which she had made a point to avoid as much as possible. Yet Lilith sat before it, basking in its radiation, because if she did not she would die. It was something both of them knew, deep within their bond. Eleanora had not felt it on the surface - she had been too far away, too removed and yearning for the return of that connection, that when it had returned, that was all the was important. That it was there.

But...it was different, now. Like a string tied around both their hearts, but stained black. Dipped in thick tar, cleaned, and returned to them, not quite the same. Of course, it didn't matter to her what form Lilith came in, her love for her would not be broken by the evil that had been done to her, but they could not act like nothing had changed.

She tightened the hold on Lilith's hand as she felt the thumb brush across her knuckles. A warm, firm grip. I will never let you go. For a moment, she listened to the space between them. And she could feel the thrumming in Lilith, quieter now that she's stabilized, but still there. Hot and angry and something that didn't belong there.

"You despise it," she murmured. "But it's an anodyne. I'm sorry." And she wished she could say more. Oh she wished, but what could she say or do that would heal this hurt or help shoulder this burden weighing upon Lilith's heart? She did not know if there was anything else she could do besides be here. Hold her hand. Tell her how much she loved her.

"I don't find it soothing, it feels...angry. I felt it a little, when I was waiting for you. Is that how you feel?" She looked up into her eyes, flitting for a moment to where the right one had once been, before returning her gaze to the one seeing pupil. "What is it like?" And she reached a hand forward to softly touch the obsidian crown, streaked with pitch and the shifting colors of the Spire. And it was clearer, now, what she was asking - What has the change done to you?

Ellie nodded, but there was a strong feeling of knowing in her mind - she had felt it, but it hadn't affected her. The corruption hadn't touched her and, if it had...ah, the thought ended there. She didn't know what she would do if it affected her, so she would ensure that it didn't happen. She dreaded to think what would become of them if they both fell to this chaos.

The embrace was grounding and familiar, and it helped Ellie's heartbreak as the snarl fell across Lilith's face. She could feel it in her, distantly, the anger she was speaking of and the pain it caused her. The confusion. But she was still there and that was all that truly mattered, right? What storms came their way they would weather together, they had sealed this bond together knowing it would be both through love and pain.

She had always been prepared for time to change them - it always did, but this was hard because they hadn't changed together. It was like two friends that had not spoken in years meeting again, and finding out that they have more differences then similarities after all that time apart. But, of course, Eleanora and Lilith were not just "friends".

"I know, I never doubted that. I fear it too," she admitted in a quiet voice, letting any space between them disappear, their foreheads nearly touching as Lilith leaned into her touch and she welcomed her. "What it's done to you and what it will do to you. I don't want you to feel lost. Or be lost. Is there anything I can do? I want to help." It was with the faintest plea that she finished - she wanted to help. Anything she could do to ease the burden on Lilith's heart.