ORIGIN - Winter valentine

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Juggernaut's range, mental and physical, had shrunk to a fraction of what it'd been since - Canis. Yet another event it had to reduce to a place, only named so it could remind itself to never return there.

These limits pressed around its mind constantly. If he were any other Gembound, the sensation might've been claustrophobic. But he needed this discipline more than anything. He had to keep his thoughts myopic. To stretch out was to reopen the wound.

That could not happen.

He kept himself to small, menial tasks close to Ursa - tending to the colonies, fishing, hunting the odd lesser. he'd found that he was adept at ambushing small game, after a handful of incidents where a creature wandered too close while he rested, unable to recognise the fact that he was a predator and not a large mound of snow.

And when his mind was unoccupied, he filled it with the warm buzz of community. He spent his free time in other drones' heads, pretending that their problems were his, too. If he kept up the illusion of mundanity, monotony, maybe it'd manifest. ~~Worse fantasies of his had come to fruition already.~~

So he was somewhat aware of Vindicator, even if they hadn't formally met. That was the case with a lot of his extended family. He'd neglected to connect to those outside of his litter, and though the idea of rectifying that overwhelmed him, he believed he was ready to take the first step.

There were... other reasons behind his decision. The odd, nervous buzz around the drone didn't escape his notice. Feelings out of place, disorganised. The network shifted in discomfort, and so did the Vindicator. He had come to know that feeling intimately. He didn't know the details of its situation, aside from its recent spawn, but perhaps he could provide comfort where the others might falter.

Maybe it'd help him, too.

He'd settled by the frozen lake, watching the water lap gently against the frozen pebbles, noting the reduction of the lake's ice. His focus was elsewhere though, as he tugged gently at the string connecting him to Vindicator, a softly voiced invitation to wander the territory for a little while. He waited patiently, thoughtless.

OOC: this version of the table MAY be broken . we will see .
@Vindicator

Ever-aware of the thoughts of its family, the Vindicator also knew of Juggernaut and its plight with the one from Chaos. It did not judge - of course it didn't, what right did it have to judge such a thing when it had a child not of the Hive, a family outside of the family? It could not judge, nor did it have any intention. If Juggernaut were ever to gauge its feelings towards his situation, it would find nothing but a gentle sympathy for his torn heart.

But they had not directly interacted, so there had really been no reason for him to care. Until now, apparently, a tugging at its mind, an invitation. After a moment of quiet consideration, mostly a gentle surprise that he was requesting its presence, and then came the acceptance back, that it would be there soon.

It didn't take long for the Vindicator to float its way out of the tunnels beneath the mountains and drift towards the lake, easily spotting Juggernaut at the edge. Perhaps others would find it difficult, white against white, but the Vindicator would see their family anywhere. Especially with the patches of blood-red that stood starkly against the pale background.

As it got closer, it found itself almost intimidated, realizing how much larger the Juggernaut was to its own form. It was not a small creature, tall as it was, but Juggernaut was taller still, and also far wider in its build then the spindly form of the Vindicator. Still, it did not let that impede its approach, nor did is allow such feeling to blossom any farther. They were family.

"Juggernaut," it chimed in its dual-tone voice. "I am here." It waited, then, to see if he would be the one to start the conversation, what in particular he wanted to talk about. It had an idea, but it left the table open for him to begin.

@Juggernaut

Odd, that the creeping feeling of unease was shared between them.

Different sources of course - compared to Juggernaut's brutish silhouette, the Vindicator was delicate. It was elegant in its fragility, like a flower-stem. It was the kind of creature that he was created to protect, and while the responsibility was great, it had ceased to bother him. That's what he told himself, anyways.

But now they were face to face, it found that its confidence had been swept away. Where to begin? All of its planning seemed hasty. Despite itself, it'd silently constructed an internal expectation it struggled to meet (or take seriously anymore.)

"Vindicator." he winced at the sound of his own voice. The other's was a chorus, his was... Something far less pretty. Sometimes he wished he was made smaller, and quieter.

Where the angel snuffed out its undesired emotions, Juggernaut felt his insecurity fester. "I have been... aware, of recent events. I was wondering... if you'd walk, with me. For a little while." His welcoming hum down the network stuttered from time to time, but remained constant - almost forced.

@Vindicator

The Vindicator could feel the insecurities pass though their bond, ever connected by the free exchange of thought and emotion the Hivemind offered, but it did not pry deeper then a glancing look. It did not want to be intrusive into its sibling's obviously troubled mental state. It tried to offer its strength through magic, but the spell faltered before it could form. Perhaps not the time for such things, then.

Instead, Juggernaut received gentle encouragement, an open invitation to take his time, speak as he needed to, feel as he needed to. The Vindicator was family and would be what he needed in this moment, if he needed anything. And it knew what he wanted to talk about, and knew that it would be...quite the talk.

They mirrored each other, in a way. Both had found complicated connections outside of the Hive and the family. Both were, in their own ways, somewhat disillusioned with the unending rigidity of the Hive. Both still loved the family...at least, the Vindicator hoped that was a truth.

"Indeed," it mused. "As I am known of thy situation. Yet Mother did not shareth all with her brood, and I hath not sought to pry." Would it be painful for Juggernaut to recall and rephrase for the Vindicator's benefit? It did not know much - it knew of the Zoisite and of the strained feelings between her and its brother. It did not know, however, of the vision, or the depth of Juggernaut's contradictions.

But it did know one thing - both had Wished and had been shattered. For Juggernaut, it was a zoisite from the House of Chaos. For Vindicator, it was a draconic hybrid and the child they raised together.

"If there be aught thou wishest to discuss, I shall lend thy time to listen. I may...understand more then most of thy plight. We shall walk." Or, in the Vindicator's case, gently float around.

@Juggernaut

Juggernaut stiffened. Maybe he'd pushed himself too far with this. As much as Vindicator reassured him, it couldn't compare to the sheer weight of what he was carrying. What he kept close to his chest - things that Mother herself didn't know.

Maybe it wasn't that he wasn't ready to talk. Maybe he wasn't ready to share this with his family - and by extension, her.

He just needed to find the right words, his mind rushing better thoughts into his head. Even he didn't understand what happened to him fully.

Excuses he could settle for.

But he came here to talk about someone else's problems. "How is the... Child? And its Giver." He began, deflecting. Easier to discuss than the Ship of Theseus.

@Vindicator

The Vindicator hummed softly, bringing to mind the vision of Luminary in Pisces, where it had last been seen. Framed against the waterfall, eyes filled with affection and calm, just as the Vindicator's would be, if it had the eyes more gembound had. But confusion laced its thoughts. The same confusion it had shared with Alcina some time ago. This was family, but it was Not Family. Should it love its own child when its child was not Hive and did not wish for the same familial embrace that all of Mother's children shared?

And Doru, who was so...not Order. With his asymmetrical patterning and his history of unnecessary violence that he had shared through their bond. And, of course, his own rejection of Hive, when The Vindicator had offered. They had a bond that Vindicator kept to itself, as secret as it could when its mind was open to its family, and it wanted to keep it that way. Was that bad? Was that a rejection of the Hive? Was that a crime? It did not fully express these doubts, harboring them deep within its own shell.

Instead, it chose also to put on something of a shield, unsure of how to express this, how much any of Mother's children would entertain its heretical thoughts. "They art good, and healthy. The Vindicator visiteth them often, yet neither hath expressed a wish to joineth with thy kin. It can be...confusing."

@Juggernaut

Juggernaut's eyes, most of them, gazed at nothing as he let the vision swim in his mind. It was beautiful in an odd, organic way - the kind of elegance that came from a mix of natural variance and perfect symmetry. It brought to mind Ananke and her plush, vulnerable pelt. Perhaps this was the shape Mother's children would take when the fighting was done, when Juggernaut had finally served his purpose. Would there be a place for him? He didn't mind.

In this proximity, it was difficult to not pick up the shape of a barrier the Vindicator had constructed. It fought the urge to press against it, find a gap to crawl its way in - maybe it knew what lay behind it. It withheld, knowing better than to pry, as Vindicator did too.

"The... nature, of an imperfect world." He attempted a comforting tone, but all of it felt like the same monotonous churn to him. We are blessed. We were... Given this life. They must find it, for themselves."

He moved, slowly, waiting for Vindicator to do the same, before beginning to walk at a leisurely pace. He kept his steps light and as quiet as possible, which took some focus. "What is the..." He struggled for a word. "The outsider, the... Other. What are they like?" He was referring to Doru this time.

@Vindicator

It could pick up the Juggernaut's intent despite the lack of shift in his tone. Comfort, that was nice. But was it comfort that the Vindicator needed in this situation? Maybe, but it made it no less confusing and mildly distressing to watch its Not-Family from behind what felt like a veil. They were partially shrouded from it, disconnected, and they refused to peer their heads through and join it on the other side. Or perhaps the Vindicator refused to accept that the side it was on was perhaps not the best side. It wasn't sure. It kept that last part to itself. If Mother heard, it was sure she would be disappointed.

"Yes," it hummed, instead. "We can but offereth Mother's warmth. It should be their hands that taketh what is offered." That was what it was created for, wasn't it? Reconnecting with gembound, forging friendships, so that the Hive could be in good standings once again. But...

Had it even succeeded once in its purpose? It had welcomed no new family but its own.

"Blessed, yes. That is what we art." It sounded like it was desperately trying to believe its own words.

As the Juggernaut began to move, the Vindicator followed suit, keeping pace as it drifted next to him, a few inches above the snow, the silks of its arms gently waving behind it as it moved.

On the topic of Doru, it was happy to oblige, still somewhat lost in its own odd, complicated feelings for him, but they were mostly of the kind that made it feel warm despite the lack of blood or any circulatory system to speed up at the thought of him. The kind that made it want to be close to him, so close that they were basically one, and it didn't understand why it wanted this. "He is gentle, to me. He be kind, yet he doth not believe himself to be. He delights in speaking of his kin - a long line of gembound that hath dwelt in these caves for many a year. He hath shown me images of them - a white stag, a dragon, their offspring and descendants, a biped that could pass for Drone...many. He doth not believe he hath met them all." It paused here for a second, thoughtful, its mind passing over the sensorial link between them, wondering if Doru was listening now, as it spoke to its brother about him. "It is...strange. We art so different, yet connected. It could beest the magic that connects us, yet I doth not believe I wouldst feeleth differently were it absent."

It quieted for a moment after, waiting for Juggernaut's response, almost anxiously. It had shared a lot, it felt, and it perhaps made obvious how fractured its mind had become from the perfect, pristine being that Mother had set upon the caves a little over a year ago.

@Juggernaut

The warm buzz of the the hive was pleasant, yes, but limited. It was not equipped for nuance, and while ideally the drones would be devoid of it... Perhaps it was the nature of all things. They too were imperfect, and affirming otherwise could only get them so far.

But was Juggernaut ready to face that? Or would it circle endlessly around the true conversation?

He noted that Vindicator described him aloud, rather than send another vision. Doru was gentle. Doru was harmless. Doru was an innocent indulgence.

It tamped down desperately on the evil blossoming within its insides. The irritation that crept its way inside it when it thought of Vindicator, elegant, beautiful, made to draw the enemy towards it, towards mother. It could flirt endlessly with corruption, but at the end of the day, it was up to Juggernaut to cut out impurity - to wield the executioner's axe.

He felt hideous, inside and out.

"He sounds... Good." Like family already. "To be tethered - that is Order. Perhaps this... Connection, is not so strange."

"We cannot rush. But know - victory, ours, is the future. They will understand, then."

And the ones that couldn't... Well, he knew what he'd have to do.

OOC: i didn't think he'd do That. woag

@Vindicator

The Vindicator was quiet for a moment as it listened to the surface thoughts of the Juggernaut - nothing unusual between members of the Hive - and it found something that surprised it: envy. What could this behemoth of a Drone possibly be envious about in the Vindicator? He who could protect the family, a weapon of Order against their enemies, whom Vindicator itself found itself vaguely jealous of for those reasons?

"Yes, he is good." Its response was laced with faint confusion, suddenly uninterested in further talking about Doru, concerned, instead, for the Juggernaut. They did not know each other deeply, that was true, but they were still family and their minds had brushed enough times and were open to each other for long enough that there was some bond between them - all those of the Hive shared this bond.

But these two in particular - the Vindicator and the Juggernaut - had stepped outside of Mother's boundaries. They shared something that few of the others could understand. What that meant for them, the Vindicator did not know. Still, it was saddened to feel such things from the Juggernaut. It was...not much of a therapist, but still, it wanted to try. "Thou art troubled. Why dost thou envy the Vindciator? Thou art strong and thou art fair. Is there aught I might sayeth to convince thee?"

@Juggernaut

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