She stared at the crystalline dog and...and....
She released the hold on Parthenium, only to snap another spell in place. Keep it calm, or perhaps taking some of its anguish away would help it some. The black collar hidden in her fur briefly came to life, the serpent's head lifting and biting down on the side of her neck. She hissed quietly at the sting as some of the emotional burden of Parthenium rushed into her, and it would feel some of it released.
But...how confusing it was. A sharp feeling of agony that came with no pain. Resounding echoes of suffering that continued to pulse like a wound that wouldn't heal, despite there being no wounds remaining. Intense longing and loneliness, all unnamed things and feelings that were almost automatic, with no source to resolution. And overwhelming, so so overwhelming she wondered how one dog could feel so much and still be on its feet.
The relief it felt at no longer being held by invisible magic was dwarfed by the shock of suddenly feeling... better. The fear, the loneliness, the memory of eternal, unbearable suffering, the failure and the clawing desperation... all of it seemed to lift somewhat. It froze in place without having to be held, stunned by this new development.
What was it to do when the memory of pain and desperation that had driven its every action for so long suddenly got better?
Then the cat started asking questions. Why are you feeling this way? What happened to you? What do you remember? and the feelings started rising up again and it remembered again the pain, the eternal suffering with no way out, the pain and the weakness and the failure that flesh brought it and the terrible awful loneliness and the pain of DYING ALL ALONE. IT REMEMBERED FAILING. IT REMEMBERED BEING NOT GOOD ENOUGH. NOT STRONG ENOUGH. IT WAS BECAUSE IT HAD FAILED AND WAS NOT STRONG ENOUGH THAT IT HAD SUFFERED.
A half-howl, half-sob escaped from its maw as it seemed to collapse inward, its epidote skeleton awkwardly folding as it curled tight. "Failing. Falling. Dying-not-dying all alone... a lie... all alone... not strong enough... The flesh is weakness! The pain is eternal!" It rose suddenly and staggered forward, suddenly desperate to be near the cat again. She was strong. She wouldn't have let it happen, surely? "Don't... leave me... alone..."
Will you stay with me?
@Wilder
She thought for a moment, maybe she'd done it. Maybe she'd gotten through to the dog and peeled back that outer layer of insanity that seemed to block any and all sorts of communication...but then it simply became distressed once again and Wilder flinched back as it staggered forward.
In a heartbeat, as her magic flared, Wilder saw a number of images. It was confusing and hard to read, but she saw for sure one thing - one was Parthenium, but all flesh and fur was gone, leaving a hollow skeleton of epidote in its place. And standing next to it was a smaller figure in a similar state, but she could see a pink heart on the cheek of it...
As she pulled out of the vision, heart thudding in her chest, she stepped back and puffed up her fur. Out of fear, her ears pressed back and she let out a hiss, starting to back up.
Parthenium stopped in its tracks for a moment at Wilder's question. Where did it fall? It couldn't remember. The vague impression of magic so strong it crackled, overwhelming it and keeping it alive in a cruel lie. Its head turned to look at the distant Spire. Somehow, this one didn't feel quite the same as the one from that impression, but it could feel the same crackling magic emanating from it. It craved that power for itself. It had to become stronger...
Its attention was fixated entirely on this new distraction before Wilder's words drew its attention back. They confused it. Don't? Why not? Make her suffer? "Not trueeee." it replied slowly. It knew how to remove suffering. Remove the flesh. It had done that to itself and it had worked. But it was uncertain about what to do with this cat. Removing her flesh would end her suffering. Or would it make her suffer more? It didn't want that. It was just trying to help, and it said as much. "Just want to help. Flesh makes you suffer."
But Wilder was strong. She had done a lot of magic on Parthenium, and it had felt her power. Maybe she knew more? Maybe becoming strong meant she knew things it didn't. Maybe she could help it become strong. "Okay!" it agreed with a desperate kind of urgency as it saw her back up. "Don't leave!" If she stayed, she could help it become stronger. And it wouldn't be alone. Motivations clashed in its mind and it decided that two was better than one. To prove its sincerity it lay down on its belly. "Come backkkkk. No flesh removing," it promised.
Will you stay with me?
@Wilder
She paused at the dog's flare of panic. She...she didn't want to upset it. Obviously it didn't want her to leave. (Don't leave me alone!) So she paused and slowly stood back up again, although her fur was still puffed and her ears still flattened.
It was...odd. Similar to the echoing grays, there was nothing there but echoing horror. Her own thoughts bounced through the empty walls of this gembound's mind while something else, something that it was not, echoed back.
Death is a lie. The pain is eternal. Don't leave me. Don't leave me alone! The same thing. Why was it always the same thing?
It felt different because this wasn't a lesser echoing gray, this was a greater gembound that had been taken over. But it was equally as empty, as devoid of life as the others. Sadness raged through her and she pushed forward with a query. What happened? Did it have any memories left for her to salvage?
Again it protested, "wasn't going to hurt you." It did not tire of repeating this over and over, perhaps because it was a mass of sentient crystals that had repeated the same three thoughts over and over for the past few thousand years. But it sagged with relief at Wilder's promise that she wouldn't leave.
It felt something shift in its consciousness, a new link opening up. Wilder's thoughts flooded in. Why was it always the same thing? Because flesh, suffering, and the lie that was death was always the same. Unless it could remove it, and stop the suffering. But it was less worried about that now. Wilder was close, and it was not physically alone, and she was strong with mind-magic and that was one extra insurance that tied them together. Wilder would help it if it was in trouble again, just like it would help Wilder. Even if she didn't want them to right now. But it wouldn't let her die alone either, if it came to that.
What happened? It tried its best to remember. Most of it was completely gone, eaten away just like its flesh five thousand years ago. But it would try to remember as best it could for this cat.
Will you stay with me?
@Wilder
But...this thrall is not a lesser. There is greater functioning, powerful magic here. The infection is marginally more aware within the body and mind of this one, latched onto its gemstone as it is, the black jade cradled in its care. It remembers falling. It remembers agony. It remembers existing between life and death, alone and weak. It remembers its intent coalescing into reality, existing beyond the failure of its own flesh. And it remembers nothing else because there IS nothing else.
They are not alive - Parthenium is dead. The epidote is dead. It does not know this, but it remembers.
@Parthenium
Gentle encouragement coaxed the dog to remember as best it could, but the results were not what Wilder expected, nor what she would have wanted. She pulled out of its mind feeling hollow.
She stepped forward, hesitantly, watching for the dog's sudden movements. She could see its stone on the forehead, barely visible underneath the black-green crystals, but there. Different. She reached a paw forward to touch the jade carefully, unless Parthenium pulled away.
@Parthenium
Wilder's presence faded from its mind but she stepped closer in real life. Parthenium twitched, unsure whether this was an improvement or a setback or neither. Then she touched its gem--well, the part that was different from the crystals that made up its entire body now, anyways--and it leaned into it. Find gems and hold them close. It was doing that now. That was going so well.
"Help," it echoed. "Alright." Things were different this time. Someone was here: someone who would come for it, who would help it. That was good. It scooted closer.
Will you stay with me?
@Wilder
Her paw pressed to the gemstone on Parthenium's forehead and the spell showed her what she wanted - Parthenium in the before. Hatching from its chrysalis, a young innocent puppy without the odd crystals it wore now. But there was still something off about it. It moved oddly, it looked distressed. It hadn't always been like this but...but she didn't know when it had started. She'd started at the beginning. Had it really, really always been like this?
She tried to see farther, perhaps on the day it had died, but it fell out of her grip.
She lowered her paw and opened her eyes, looking distressed. She didn't understand how to help. She didn't understand how this had happened in the first place!