ORIGIN

Full Version: These are hard times for dreamers

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It had been days since the twins woke up, days since she was put under watch by both Beast and Bartos, constantly feeling their paranoia that she would fail in her vigilance and she would snap. It was exhausting to constantly swath herself in light, to never let up for a single second lest the poison slip through the cracks of her defense. It was so endlessly tiring to pretend that she was okay, that she didn't house a monster inside her ranks.

She could hear the shadow whisper to her through the bars of her cage constantly, like a demon with a sickly sweet voice, her voice, twisted and malformed for its own selfish purposes. She kept telling Clover that Bartos didn't want her here, and neither did the children; they were perfectly fine on their own, as their own family, and she was only staining it. It spoke to her worst fears, cooing to them, kissing them so they rose up in her, threatening to make her blind to everything but them. Fear was selfish, and Belladonna knew to speak to that in kind.

The poison was making sense to her, which was the worst part. She shouldn't even be here, she should just disappear. She was a danger to her family, a danger to Bartos, and she knew the reason the poison was telling her this was because she wanted Clover to leave the protective light Beast and the twins offered her, so she could snatch her up when she was least expecting it and at her most vulnerable.

But....for the caves sake, her own son, Hawthorne, was terrified of her. Wist was...too much like her. Too loving, too trusting. If Belladonna gained control, she would wear her face and whisper such awful sins to them that their pure souls would shatter in a heartbeat. The poison was speaking the truth to her, the one she didn't want to admit, and couldn't do....but would, in the end. And she would suffer.

She shook. There had to be a better way than this. There had to be a way that they all didn't have to drown in Belladonna's degenerate lies.

She was wandering far from her family, and as she made her way to the hills where she found her name, memories surged, and she stumbled, choking on Belladonna's toxic filth that rose up in her throat, threatening to make her vomit among the grass. But she had to keep going, had to keep walking.

"This is how I speak."

Belladonna laughed, inside her little prison that Clover had placed her in. She paced and paced and never rested, constantly on the watch for that one slip up, that one little chink in the pretty girl's armor like a panther ready for the right opportunity. Clover wasn't so perfect that she could stop her from talking though. When it was the other way around, Belladonna never blocked Clover's mouth. She enjoyed it when the white doe screamed as she had to watch what she did with her body.

So she whispered and told Clover day in and day out that there was no point to her remaining here in Pisces. Didn't she see how Bartos looked right before he brought up the wall against her? Oh, no, that's right, his back was turned to us, wasn't it? I wonder whose fault that was. And oh, how she laughed.

So when Clover stumbled, Belladonna rattled the cage bars, feeling them weaken. She was remembering dear old Pounce, and how much he had changed.

"You know...he really is a masterpiece of mine," She said slowly, smiling. "He was just so adamant with chasing after you, of finding you again, that he kept falling for my tricks over and over again. I feel so sad for you that you raised such a trusting idiot. I mean, you remember, don't you? When he fell off a cliff after your mirage? Remember when I drove him to the point of trying to murder you when you actually were in control? He will never believe you again, he will never trust you. He's probably out murdering cute little gems because of what I did, your beloved little Pounce who hated even the thought of killing for food.

And you really believe that staying here is the best thing you could do? Sweetheart, just stop and think for two minutes. Think of what I could do if you half-wake up from sleep and Beast isn't around to save your sorry hide and you're too sleep addled to bring up your light, hmm? Think of what I could do then.

You already know what I'm capable of. The best thing for you to do is leave, for the safety of your precious little twins."

Belladonna saw the chinks, saw the shivering of the prison bars, and she took the advantage and rushed them, breaking them and flying like a flock of oil-slick crows, and when Belladonna took the throne for just one glorious second, she took in the fresh air of the waterfall room and its slight breeze that rustled the grass of the hills, she just laughed with Clover's throat, speaking with her mouth to the warrens.

"Look at how easy it is to topple you now, when you can't help but challenge the love he has for you. You can't even tell, can you? That he might not love you anymore, that the fear of you is overwhelming the day and a half you were in each other's presence. It would be so easy to murder them all in their sleep, you have no idea how much I thirst for it."

"Oh, how sad you are,"

Clover was pushed back by the flock of crows, and she flew like a golden and white eagle to pick apart the crows and throw them back where they belonged, eating some of them like twisting hissing snakes. The body they shared just shuddered and lowered her head, eye closed with the inner battle they both shared.

"You're right...they don't need me, none of them do. Bartos doesn't need me now that he has Leon and his family to protect him, and his children to love. Beast doesn't need me now that Vazi will never touch him again. They're all safe here, as safe as could be with me here.

So if I'm not needed here, maybe I should take myself up to the nearest cliff and throw myself off, hmm?" Her eye grew misty with the idea. "I would shine as bright as a star and we would both die together, screaming all the way down to the bottom. That would solve all of my problems."

She felt Belladonna recoil and hiss at the idea, and Clover smiled darkly. "You wouldn't like that, now would you? That's what comes of trying to take away my only avenues of strength, you snake. You should know that by now. There's nothing for me outside of this room, not with you in my head."

Silence ensued, and the taste of those last words in her mouth left a sour taste.

"There really is nothing left for me, huh?" She said, like she was in a daze, a fog. "I can't even tell a story to my children without your staining hands ruining it."

"This is how I speak."

Belladonna was silent, allowing that new revelation to sink in. The light that was coming her was incredibly dim compared to what it normally was, and she could feel her cracking.

"That's why you need to leave," She said softly. "You can't get rid of me, you can't ever get rid of me. We're stuck together, you and I, the night and the star who utterly hate each other and will never see eye to eye. I want to gain control just as much as you do because your namby-pamby ways disgust me, just as mine do you. Your children will never be safe with me here, and with them under my control for even one second....you will never again have them to come back to.

That's what you've always wanted, wasn't it? A home, with a family? Well, they're here. Safe and sound. Happy, with each other. Paranoid with you here. They can't spend their childhoods constantly on edge of the Lost Queen or whatever title silly little Thorne has in his head.

With you gone....you will always have them to come back to, now won't you? As long as you keep me under lock and key, that is." She chuckled at that. Like that would last very long, as she'd just demonstrated. She would break the degenerated walls like crumbling moss as soon as the doe walked beyond the room's steps.

"Poor unfortunate soul,"

She heard Belladonna's filth and it only half-registered, so stunned was she by the idea that she truly had nothing left. Without love, without her love, without the hope that those she held the closest to her loved her didn't need or want her around, how could she hope to tell a story again? How would she ever tell a tale that didn't twist into some sad and horrible tragedy? She couldn't lose her stories, she couldn't live without them.

She remembered that half-dead state of existence she had to suffer through, that two week long cloud of nothing with no emotions in her and nothing left to live for, and she felt it cloying her and choking her and she had trouble breathing, fearing it ever coming back. She couldn't live through that again, that nothing, were even death had no appeal, because nothing had appeal to her. She had lost her stories and her family and herself in that void and with the threat of losing her family and her purpose in life because Belladonna was ruining them both, she started to panic blindly.

She couldn't do this, she couldn't constantly keep fighting with the shadow in fear that she would take every last shred Clover had left of herself, piece by piece.

But Belladonna was right, she could never keep her perfectly under lock and key, and neither could Belladonna keep her submerged in that screaming ocean she so despised. They couldn't win against the other and they were constantly testing the other's endurance, constantly begging the fates for the other to just give up and die.

What the owl had mentioned floated up to her mind....To make peace with the demon. She never wanted to coexist with the poison inside her and neither did Belladonna. She'd allowed herself to think along the same lines as her demon, and look what happened with Kingsfoil? She'd snapped so completely and utterly she wasn't even herself anymore, so hateful was she, so unable to control the blinding rage. And it felt so....right at the time, to hate that perfect little son. No, she would lose herself if she thought that coexisting and making peace was a good idea.

She could hear the shadow just outright laughing at the idea now, saying she'd go around making googly eyes and flower crowns for all the corpses she left behind.

Then she felt the shadow ponder how that could potentially hurt someone and Clover kicked the prison violently to break that train of thought that she didn't want to hear.

Clover shivered and turned, only half-seeing the warrens as she walked. Was there really no way out of this but death? Either way, Clover lost.

"This is how I speak."

Belladonna just sighed and paced the prison again. She could feel Clover losing it, her grip on the key slackening as she despaired. It was quite admirable how long she'd lasted, oh, for all of a week? Commendable, really. But poison had a way of weakening you slowly over time the more you consumed it. Regardless, eventually it would win.

"Really, I don't know why you're so pathetically loyal to that mangy little cat. He turned away from you and will barely let you see your own kids, and he won't even believe you when you try so hard to keep me at bay. Honestly, you and I both know that if he really believed you, and he offered his love to you, there would be no question with keeping me down. With the both of you and Beast and your lovely little kids, I would be no match.

But that's just it, isn't it? He keeps your kids away so they can't even get to know you, and he says nothing to you through the bond when you need it. How can you call that love? He said it himself that he's a weakling, that he's too afraid to face me and man up to me."

She felt Clover listen to her, and slowly, slowly, slowly, grow angry, like the buildup of rain, warning of what was to come.

"I mean, honestly, he can't even look at you, can he?" Belladonna smiled, finding that one weak spot Clover had been mulling over and protecting.

"And all that time I was in control of you and you were in that dead and unfeeling sea where nothing mattered, did he ask you where you were? Did he say he would come to rescue you? No, he was too preoccupied with staying in his tiny little hovel with his broken leg. But did he tell anyone of what was happening to you? Did he ask the people he knew to rescue you? Hell, Leon didn't even know until I showed up in all my wonderful glory smashing the bones of little children.

Admit it to yourself, Clover, the lover you picked has no backbone for you. For his children, sure, he would break his own heart for them, but not for you. Never again for you. He doesn't love you, Clover.

Ahah, if you don't believe me, let's test it, shall we?" Belladonna laughed, and she could feel the resentment growing in the pure white doe, the clenching of teeth as the shadow went on and on and on, the shadow turned and screamed through the tunnel of their bond with all she had in her,

"Hey Bartos! Your wife is thinking of killing herself for you, don't you feel so special?"

"Let's see what he says, shall we?"

@Bartos

The message came loud and clear. It erupted from the forest with a flock of dark birds, and as he turned his eyes to that mysterious unknown, he felt his heart quiver.

He told himself that he would be ready, the next time he ventured into that forest following her search light. He would be ready once he reached the water. He'd practiced. Perhaps in quiet, in solitude, lacking the opportunity to exercise everything he'd learned until now. For a fleeting moment, cowardice told him that he still wasn't ready, but was he confident enough in turn to call her bluff? He wasn't. What he feared more than her was losing her, and in the end, that fear won out. The message was burned into his mind. It was what dragged his paws to the forest, where he peered into the darkening trees and saw the elusive, telltale flicker of her lamp. He didn't know who held it, but he would follow.

The cat had emerged from his den, reaching for the bond, for the tug and pull of the doe that would summon him, whispers of where he had to go. He told no one - the message was blinding, deafening, and even if anyone had asked him he was certain he wouldn't be able to answer. His throat was tight, his heart screaming, wide blue eyes afraid - but he would go, for her. He would fall into the hands of the demon for her.

The trees towered above him like ominous gargoyles, their gnarled branches pointing down the path he had to take. They led him and the further he walked, the darker they became, until the patterns in their bark swirled into snarling and wailing faces, until in their deep crevices shone hateful and curious red eyes, until monsters began to silently follow behind. Every now and then a twig snapped, a chitter of malice, something dared to crawl out after only to hide itself in the foliage as he turned to look. He was a stranger here, venturing into the forest, his only aid the dancing search light that moved just out of reach. The demon led him into her realm, but he had promised himself that this time, he would emerge with Clover and chase the darkness away.

When he spotted her, he stood at the edge of the water, she was in the grass and grappling between the light and the dark. The cat hesitated, it was like walking to his death - he didn't know what he would see here, or what he would feel. But he was prepared. Bartos pushed forward, his head low, limping stiffly towards the broken doe. The closer he came, the stronger the bond in his mind and heart, searching for something - anything. He approached from behind, silent. His breath faltered, until courage had finally pleaded him to act, and he plunged into the water.

"Clover. I'm here."

@Belladonna

She was there, waiting for him, his pale and glowing lady, so full of anger and despair, and the demon who owned the forest was curled around her, whispering sick and hateful things in her ear. When he came to her, she was utterly alone with this thing that caressed her and wished for her death. Clover turned around startled, and she saw him and was afraid.

"Bartos, I-" She started, and she looked around frantically and wiped the oily filth from her mouth with her knee, feeling utterly ashamed, stamping down on the joy of seeing him again. She couldn't let herself feel that, because Belladonna would use it against them both. "Bartos, you shouldn't be here."

Her eye flickered to the ground, her brows furrowed, her mouth set. "I need to leave and take my sickness with me. She can poison me all she wants but I can't let her touch you again with her words."

'I deserve this,' the lady said softly.

"I've seen out children now, and that was selfish of me and I need to leave."

'Let me go to hell alone, let me go to my crypt and crawl into my sarcophagus and pull the door behind me. I can't let her take any more prisoners.'

"This is how I speak."

Belladonna just sat in her sea of filth and laughed when she saw Bartos come up, and she could feel his fear through the bond that laid open in the temple they both shared. How pathetic he was, to make his legs move with some sorry notion of love in his mouth, to only come when the 'demon' had a knife at his lover's throat.

The demon that coiled around the golden lady tightened its grip, whispering foul words of false bravado and lies.

She rose from the sea and slithered around Clover, sharing the throne with a casual ease, claws on the back of the lovely doe's neck, talons clicking and running through soft fur. Clover fought, but the shadow covered her mouth and made a soft 'sshhh' sound to her, waggling her finger with a short 'tsk tsk'.

"She's right, you know," She said with Clover's mouth, her eye looking up from the ground to the crippled cat, her set mouth curving into a cruel smile. "She really should leave. Remember cute, hopeful Pounce that you'd met so very long ago? Well, he found me, just like you hoped, and with his blind purity I drove him over a cliff and made him mad for blood. You didn't tell him what had happened to me, and I broke him so completely that even when Clover took control and begged him to kill her, he happily obliged and started to torture her."

She looked thoughtful. "So...you could almost say that was your f--" She choked and gagged, like something was coming up in her throat, and through her neck a soft light pierced through and made her dry heave. She shuddered and gasped and looked at Bartos with pure unbridled hatred and snarled a wordless, strangled sound.

Her eye scrunched close in concentration, her teeth bared, and she swallowed forcefully and all at once her expression relaxed. Her eye opened again to gaze at the ground with a weary sadness.

"....I can't let what happened to Pounce happen to anyone else I love."

"Oh, how cute,"

He was silent. There was no place for his voice, not yet - he knew that he would have to be careful in his approach. But he was ready to do what he needed to achieve his goal, to get out if this alive and with Clover by his side. He had prepared himself for it. He knew now what had become of her, even if emotion had clouded him before, even if fear had blinded and strangled him. He was so afraid that she would destroy him and everything he loved, but he understood what she was now. And he understood that he couldn't let her take hold of these feelings. They sustained her, for as long as she was bent and broken like this. He wouldn't let this darkness win.

She turned to gaze upon him and wipe the shadows from her face, her gaze weak and imploring and she begged him to leave the crypt ruled by the demon. He met her gaze in silence, softness, he wouldn't protest but nor would he comply. It didn't matter which side of her was speaking to him, it was still her. And she wanted to leave, begging for freedom from him and her selfish wants, claiming she had all she wanted - to see them - and he said nothing still. Fear lingered deep inside of him, but this was merely patience.

Her silence lingered and he could feel it transforming, and the waters, clear and warm, had suddenly turned dark. The murk crawled in as tendrils of filth gliding beneath the surface, clawing at him, vying to slide down his throat and choke him, but he held his breath, he held firm. Her cutting voice broke free and she looked up at him again. Her eye was dark and foreboding, but it was still her. She smiled at him, agreeing with herself, trying to convince the both of them of her terrible deeds. The expression of understanding that settled on his visage was slowly twisting into a hardened frown. Cold blue eyes darkened, deflecting, holding those words only to let them go as they served their purpose.

But she spoke of Vicktor, and how he had met his fate at the hooves of the doe, and how she twisted him and destroyed him. Little Pounce had died and it was Bartos who allowed him to walk blindly to his death, and everything he had ever known of Vicktor - his love, his gentle smile, his kind eyes. They were gone. They were gone because of him. If he had told the truth about Clover, then... the cold water froze him. He was running out of air.

This wasn't his fault. He grimaced as she spoke the words. And then she gasped for air, and Bartos watched as a gentle light ebbed from her throat and she ruefully admitted her flaws, only to contest herself again. His fear remained, the water stung his eyes and stilled his heart, but he persisted. Through the bond he reminded her, pleading for her to just stay and listen to him.

Just stay. Don't do anything drastic, please, just stay.

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