ORIGIN - Just Close Your Eyes, You'll be Alright

Nassir walked through Orion. He hadn't been here in cycles, but decided it was time for him to head here. He walked among buildings, whiskers twitching and a tail tip flicking. The gem on his tail lightly grazed the floor, leaving behind a trail. His ears were pricked, and he was looking around. Was anyone nearby? Anyone who needed protecting, perhaps? He wasn't sure, so he continued to walk. After some time, he came across a crouched figure. A cat, like him. They looked as if they were...crying. Immediately, alarms went off in his head. Why was this cat crying? "Hello. What seems to be the matter?" he asked, keeping his voice light.

He acts. | "He speaks." | He thinks.

Aaliyah had walked away from Imperia. Not paying attention to where she was going, she realized a bit too late that her paws had taken her to Orion. Frowning, she continued. It was too late to go back now. If she did, she may run into Imperia, and she needed some time to herself. With the gem in her mouth, she continued, paws trailing behind her. As she walked, the thoughts seemed to catch up to her. Next thing she knew, she was crouched beside a building, tears beginning to fall.

The gem was beside her, her long tail holding it close to her body. She thought about Imperia, how she had been forced to train and fight. She thought about growing up, gaining all these scars as she fought Imperia. She never did win, not even once. That was part of why she had never gone about separating from them. She knew Imperia would fight her, and there was no way she could beat them in a battle. So what choice did she have? She had to stay with Imperia. She had to do what Imperia said. She had to follow Imperia. Even if it killed her.

And speaking of killing, she could never forget what she had done to Farran. Could she ever forgive herself for what she's done? She glanced at the stone. She picked it up and placed it in front of her so she could stare at it. The green gem seemed to shine as she stared at it. What could she do with this? Leave it here? No, she couldn't do that. Someone like Imperia might find it. She couldn't afford for something like that to happen. She had to hold onto it, give it to someone who was responsible. Someone who wouldn't wreak havoc on everyone just for the sake of it.

Aaliyah continued to stare at the gem. She had...actually killed someone. Had anyone else been watching? Did they know she had killed someone? What if someone was watching her right now, judging her? Were they planning to attack her, so she wouldn't kill anyone else? No! she screamed in her mind. Don't hurt me! I didn't want to do it, but I had no choice! They...Imperia made me do it! Tears began to fall faster now. She held the gem tighter, her body curling into a small ball.

And then she froze. A thought chilled her. Could she have refused? Could she have gone against what Imperia said? It was her first kill...Maybe Imperia would have let her tried some other time? Was there a chance that she could have saved the badger? She didn't know, and that was what scared her. She continued to lay there, flashes of Imperia coming to mind. Thoughts of what might come if she went away from them for good. She could almost feel the blow that would surely kill her.

And then, out of her thoughts, there was a voice. Someone was speaking to her. For a moment, she thought it was Imperia, and tensed. But she realized the tone was far too light to be theirs. Turning, she saw a large black cat. Blinking, she looked down at herself. She was curled into a tight ball, and she could feel the wetness on her cheeks. Hastily, she drew a paw over her cheeks and stood up, shaking slightly. She sat, still slightly curled in on herself, her tail wrapped around her paws and the gem. She stared at the cat for a moment, thinking of what to say. She couldn't say that nothing was the matter, he had clearly caught her crying.

"I..," she hesitated, and then it all tumbled out. "I can't take this anymore! I'm sick of Imperia, and I'm sick of all that they make me do! I've fought them too many times to count. I've gotten all of these scars from them! And some from fighting others, too. I've always had to follow them. I was only able to get away from them recently, and even then it's not for long! I always have to come back to them. Well, I'm sick of it! I'm tired of staying with them, of doing what they say. I've killed someone because they told me to! Do you have any idea of how that feels? To know that you're the one responsible for someone's death? They could have had their whole life planned! Maybe they had someone who loved them. Maybe they had someone who missed them. Maybe...they've never felt love. Maybe they've gone their whole life without ever having someone to love, and I've destroyed any chance that they ever will!" By this point, she had run out of breath, and was now on all four paws and staring at the cat as more tears fell. Her fur was bristling along her back and shoulders.

She sat down and forced the fur flat. She sighed and looked down. "But...I can't leave. If I do..." She looked up. "They'll kill me. I...value my life over everyone else's. I don't want to die. But if I live, maybe I can stop Imperia. But how can I do that without separating from them? I'll be stuck like this...forever. And I can't take it anymore!"

When Nassir came up to talk to the cat, he was not expecting this. This seemed to be a full on confession here. He took a step back and listened as the cat spilled everything. When she mentioned killing, he lowered his ears. She had killed someone? It didn't seem like she had wanted to. And who was Imperia? The name seemed very familiar...

And then it hit him. Imperia was the caracal he had seen, cycles ago, who had been attacking a lioness. He recalled hearing the name. So they had a child now, it seemed. Well, no child. She was clearly full grown by this point. He listened as she continued, eventually finishing. He paused for a moment to gather his thoughts before speaking. "I must admit, I wasn't expecting that." His tail flicked.

"But I will still help. I am a protector, and you are clearly someone in need of protecting. I may not know firsthand how it feels to kill, but I can tell that it does not seem to have been a...good experience. And it's okay if you value your life over someone else's! Many do. That doesn't make you a bad person." He took a step closer and smiled at her. "Now, this Imperia. I know them. I've seen them, from a distance, many cycles ago. Before you were hatched, if I had to guess. They were attacking someone. I didn't stick around long enough to see if they had won, though, but I wouldn't be surprised if they had. They're not someone who should have a child, and I suppose you're living proof of why.

"Now, you say that they'll kill you if you leave. Maybe if you tried, you'd be able to. You obviously can't stay like this forever. There must be someone you can do to separate yourself from them. Perhaps a fight? You should be good enough to at least hold your own, even if you don't know it." He took a breath, having been talking for a while now. He stopped to let the cat have a chance to speak.

He acts. | "He speaks." | He thinks.

Aaliyah grunted. "Of course not. No one could expect...that. And if you did, well...That'd be weird." She listened as he continued, wondering how this cat could talk so much. At one point, she flicked her tail in annoyance. "No, it is most definitely not a good experience. Nice to see you've picked up on that." When he took a step closer, she instinctively took a couple steps back, watching him with narrowed eyes. As he said that he's seen Imperia, her eyes widened. "You've...seen them?"

"Hah, yeah. Definitely not someone who should have a child. They never treated me as a child though, much less their own. Almost as soon as I was hatched, they were training me. I hardly ever got a break." She then narrowed her eyes. "You don't think I've tried? Imperia makes me train against them all the time! I have fought them, I have tried to hold my own, and I always lose! Sometimes it doesn't feel like training...It just feels like they're actually trying to injure me badly. Or even kill me." She sighed and looked down, her tail tip flicking beside her, curled protectively over her paws and the stone.

"Speech looks like this."
"Thoughts looks like this."

tags: here
notes: here

Nassir flicked an ear. "I'm sure you have tried, but knowing that it could be a battle that would let you finally get away from them might give you the energy, the motivation that you need to win. It may not seem like training, but that is what it is. That is what you know it to be, so you do not have as much motivation as you could. It could be the difference you need." He then tilted his head. "Kill you? I'm sure they don't want to do that. You're all they've got! If they killed you, then they'd have no one to train, to fight with! Hmm, I wonder how they'd feel about that. Perhaps they'd be relieved? They could go back to fighting whenever they wanted. Actually, that wouldn't be a good idea. Forget I said anything."

His gaze turned to her tail, where he caught the glint of something green. "What's that beside your paws? Is...that the stone of the creature you killed? What do you plan to do with it? If I were you, I'd hide it somewhere. Bury it, perhaps, so no one could find it. If someone like Imperia found it, it'd likely be a disaster. You could also give it to someone who you trust. Don't know who that would be, though. Have you met many others besides Imperia and I? Maybe you could give it to someone who promises not to do anything bad with it. Might be hard to tell if they're telling the truth, though." He finally stopped talking, giving them a chance to talk. He always was a didactic speaker. Perhaps she already had a plan with the gem.

He acts. | "He speaks." | He thinks.

Aaliyah listened, her ears lowered slightly and tail tip flicking back and forth. As he continued, she snorted. "I'm surprised they haven't just...abandoned me. And who knows how they'd feel? Who even cares? They may not miss be, but..," her voice broke as tears began to fall again. She looked at her paws. "I'll miss them. They're all I've ever had! I've never been long without them. I'm not sure if I could...handle leaving them."

At the mention of the gem, Aaliyah's tail wrapped more protectively over the gem and she looked up. "Who cares if it's the gem? Who cares what I plan to do with it?" Her eyes narrowed, tears still coming. As he went on, she began to growl lightly. "Who says there even is someone I trust? I don't trust anyone! I used to trust Imperia, and look where that got me! Maybe if I had left them early on, not believed them, then none of this would have ever happened!

"But no. I stayed. I believed their lies. I trusted that they would protect me. All they've done is scar me! Every single one of their scars is from them, training me. Training me to be the best fighter, second only to them. I could never beat them. And...it works. I've fought others. I've...never gained a scar from them. They're all from Imperia. I can fight thanks to Imperia! But I don't...want to fight. I want to live in peace. She looked down at her paws again, at the gem, before looking back up again, her gaze narrowed with the beginnings of anger.

"I have fire magic, thanks to them. They want me to burn. I don't want to burn! I want to create, not destroy. But they don't understand that. They don't understand how I feel. And they probably never will. They've always wanted to burn. And...I used to want to. They made it sound so exciting! But they never mentioned the pain that went with it. The burns on your paws from using them so much. The burns on your throat. It hurts. It hurts so much. But I can't complain! I can't say anything! That would show that I'm weak. That I can't do it. And...that'll just hurt more.

"Seeing the anger on Imperia's face, the feel of their claws on my face. And that scares me most. The look of anger on their face. The look of...betrayal. I couldn't just...leave them. They might be lost without me, just as I would be lost without them! What would I do then? The look of betrayal, of anger, of...fear. I may have said I don't care how they feel, but I do! I know they'll be lost. They've been with me longer than they've been without me! They might go out and kill lots of gembounds, perhaps to do the same that they did to my other parent. For now, I'm keeping them from doing that!"

By this point, she had stood, and now stared straight at Nassir. It was only then that she noticed her paws were burning. With a yelp, she quickly sat down and looked at her paws. She let out a whimper and began to lick them, before quickly moving her head back as her tongue only began to burn. She let out a sigh. When had that even happened? She didn't cast a spell! Or did she do it unknowingly? Can one...cast a spell without knowing it?

"Speech looks like this."
"Thoughts looks like this."

tags: here
notes: i guess i get tons of muse when Aaliyah talks about Imperia and how much they hurt her. Interesting.

Nassir listened as the cat went on. At one point, he noticed her paws beginning to burn. She didn't seem to have noticed it however, so he stayed silent. It was kind of refreshing to be silent, actually. He was always the one talking so much. But that did not seem to be the case here. After some time, she seemed to tire herself out. It was only then that she noticed her paws were burning. He almost said something as she went in to lick it, but winced as he realized he was too late.

"You have to leave them. You have to ignore how they may feel, and think about how you feel. You say you'll miss them. Find someone who will treat you better, and then you won't miss them! And I'm sure you can learn to trust someone. Not everyone is like Imperia. In fact, very few are. There are many out there who will treat you right, who won't hurt you! You just have to find them," he spoke, staring at her with his head held high and a smile on his face.

"And yes, you may be stopping them from doing terrible things. But maybe...You could form a group of gembounds, perhaps those who have been hurt by Imperia, to stand against them. Some members to fight against them one day, provided they haven't done too much damage. I'm sure you could do it. Maybe even give life to that stone of yours. It's the least you could do, right?"

He acts. | "He speaks." | He thinks.

Aaliyah sighed in relief as the pain finally subsided. She then looked up as the cat began to speak. Upon him suggesting that she just leave, her fur bristled and she stood again, glaring at him. She didn't say anything until he was finished, but her claws were starting to dig into the ground below. "I can't just leave them! And I'm not sure I ever can trust anyone. What they've done to me...It'll take more than some big cat to tell me that I can learn to trust," she snorted, tail flicking.

I don't want to find others! I don't want to be reminded that Imperia has hurt others. And I...I can't give life to this stone. I'll give it to someone who...someone who can. Someone who can love them! I could never look at them. They'll be a reminder of what I've done. I could never face that every day in the form of...someone. I'll have to deal with the thought every day. I don't need a physical reminder." She lowered her ears and her head, sighing. After a moment, she looked back up and flicked an ear.

"This has gone on for long enough. I...Think I know what to do now. I won't go right up to Imperia and demand that...she leave me alone. I'll stick with her. For now." She picked up the stone and walked past the black cat, their fur brushing briefly. She didn't look back, just kept walking, her paws leading to wherever they'll take her. "First chance that comes up where I can leave...I'll take it."

-exit Aaliyah-

"Speech looks like this."
"Thoughts looks like this."

tags: here
notes: here

Nassir listened to the cat as she spoke. He didn't say anything, much as he wanted to. He just listened. When she said that it had gone on for long enough, he blinked. Was she just going to leave? He realized that, yes, she was, as she picked up the stone and left. He still didn't speak, instead staring at where she had been just moments earlier. She had just...left. And taken the stone. He was glad she hadn't forgotten about that.

Nobody had ever really left him before, not like that. They usually listened, and did what he said, or at least some variation of it. And they usually did it right away. Who knows when an opportunity for them to leave will come up? It could be many cycles. He sighed. He mostly just hoped they would be ok. He got up and began to walk away, unsure of which direction she had gone. It would definitely be awkward if he accidentally stumbled across them. He continued walking, his tail trailing behind him.

-exit Nassir-

He acts. | "He speaks." | He thinks.