ORIGIN - i'm picking me apart again

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Li's heart was still racing after her escape from Kallista. Her scratches that were inflicted, as well as the burns from the fire in Eridanus, still stung. She ignored them however as she slowed to a stop, now in a tunnel. She looked around, tail tip flicking. Normally, she'd go right past the tunnels and into the next cave, but she wasn't sure she wanted to be in a cave right at this moment. Staying in this tunnel seemed good.

She was torn between wanting to be alone and wanting someone else around. She couldn't trust herself anymore. Who's to say she wouldn't hurt someone again, just like she did to Kallista? Or what if they attacked her first? She couldn't handle another battle. Not now, maybe not ever. She couldn't let her emotions get in her way, either. If she had been thinking clearly during the battle, she could have ended it sooner.

For now, she sat down, looking around. The tunnel was covered in moss and well-lit. She decided she rather liked it. This cave made her feel safe, if only just barely. She'll stay in here for some time. She wasn't sure how long, though. She didn't know if she could stand to meet someone else, now knowing what she was capable of. She began to lick the scratches Kallista had given her when they lashed out at the end of the battle. She ignored her other scars, scars from battles with Imperia. They reminded her of what Imperia was capable of. The caracal had taught Li all she knew. Was it possible that...she'd be just like them? Kallista's words came flooding back. She lowered her ears flat against the back of her head, trying to get it to stop.

She shook her head fiercely in an attempt to rid herself of the thoughts. They went away for now, and she continued to lick her recent scratches, as well as the burns on her legs. She winced slightly, but continued on. She really ought to do something about those burns.

"Speech looks like this."
"Thoughts looks like this."

tags: here
notes: nothing sad!! no battling!!! poor bby deserves some happiness. and maybe a friend.

Aeroth trotted slowly down the tunnel, humming and singing in the brightest of spirits. She smiled when she saw the other gem a little ways down the tunnel while she was coming from Orion. " 'Eya Sheila, what's got ya' down?" She padded up to the other gem, stopping just a short distance away and sitting, scratching at her neck absently as she watched the other gem and listened. It was quite obvious that the other feline was highly distressed. Maybe she could improve her mood.
"Speech"
"Thoughts"
Tags: @Aaliyah
Notes:

The sound of pawsteps made Li stop licking her wounds, and she froze. Slowly, she lifted her head just in time to hear them speak. Before saying anything in response, she watched them, searching for any sign of hostility. She was tense, prepared to bolt at any second. Slowly, when nothing happened, she relaxed, if only slightly.

"Um," she started, only to stop at the sound of her voice. It was rough and scratchy, and she clearly hadn't spoken in some time. She quickly cleared her through and tried again. "I'm...fine. Yeah. I'm fine. Nothing's got me down. Everything is just...fine. Wonderful. Never been better. It's not like I almost burned a forest down or anything, and then used my magic when I promised myself I would never use it again." Nervous laughter bubbled out of her chest for a moment before it faltered, and she grew silent, tail tip flicking slightly as she couldn't seem to sit still.

"Speech looks like this."
"Thoughts looks like this."

tags: @Aeroth
notes: i rly feel like writing a character who's super anxious and rambles so oop here u go

Aeroth raised a brow, looking at her with a tilted head and padding over slowly,
placing her paw next to the larger feline's "So long as you didn't mean to do it, there's no point in beating yourself up about it Sheila, I can tell that you regret whatever happened. Though I would like to hear the story sometime." She smiled and looked up into the other gems' eyes. "And based on that regret, that shows me you likely are a good creature Sheila, even if you did make a mistake, I feel that you'd want to somehow make up for it and make amends. That's more than most gems in this cave." She flicked her ears, her smile faltering slightly as she remembered some of the more unsavory characters she'd met in the caves, but it returned quickly and fully.
"Speech"
"Thoughts"
Tags:
Notes:

Li tensed slightly more as the other approached and put their paw next to hers, but she made no indication of movement. She flicked her ears as they spoke. The story? She couldn't tell anyone the story. They wouldn't trust her! She had to be cautious. She could never tell anyone, they'd run away. Or maybe try and make her pay for what she did.

She blinked as they continued. "Y-yeah. I do regret it. A lot! But..." her voice trailed off and she paused. But what? She regretted what she did. She did want to make up for it. She did want to make amends. Right?

"Speech looks like this."
"Thoughts looks like this."

tags: here
notes: here

Aeroth saw the other gem tense up a bit, obviously nervous so she backed away an inch to give her some room. She heard her out and could tell that she was hiding something but didn't want to pry. That would only serve to make the other gem dislike her almost certainly. But she did want to know what came after the but. "Look Sheila, it's obvious you're hiding something, something that's making you nervous. I'm gonna guess and say that somebody hurt you, somehow, I'm not going to make you tell me about it though." She looked into her eyes. "Just know that you don't have to worry about me judging you Sheila, I'm not going to. People make mistakes, but amends can always be made, in every case. Actions don't say who you are, you do and how you deal with the results of those actions do."
"Speech"
"Thoughts"
Tags:
Notes: Accidentally posted with wrong account, I had a 19 role for her being consoling

Li flicked an ear. Hiding something? Well, she certainly was. And someone had hurt her...Just as she hurt someone else. Maybe not necessarily the same way, but she's still hurt someone. She's fought, she's killed. No matter what the other might say, she knew she would always be judged for that. Maybe not by them, but someone certainly would. Someone would see past how much she regretted it and only see someone who's injured and killed.

But for now, she wouldn't focus on what someone else might think. This other gembound was nice. She was consoling her, and Li knew she needed it. "Thank you," she whispered, and shifted her paws a little. "I, uh, probably should talk about it at some point but not...not now."

"Speech looks like this."
"Thoughts looks like this."

tags: here
notes: for the roll, a higher roll would be more understanding and not as cautious. low roll would be more defensive and cautious

Aeroth nodded and moved a little closer. "That's alright Sheila, though in the future, it's better to talk about things with someone, anyone. Whatever it is that's happened to you or you have done. You regret what you've done. That's more than can be said by most in the caves. At least you didn't enjoy what you did." She stood up on her hind legs, kissing her on the cheek softly. "I do feel like you're a good creature. Even if you have done some bad stuff in the past."
"Speech"
"Thoughts"
Tags:
Notes:

"I...OK. Maybe some....some other time, I'll tell someone?" Li wasn't sure if she ever could tell anyone. She had no idea how to convey how it all felt with just words, and she'd probably be a complete mess afterwards. So for now, she'd just keep it in and not tell anyone.

She didn't say anything more as the other continued to speak. When they stood on their hind legs to kiss her cheek, however, she blinked in confusion. Her mouth opened and closed as she struggled to come up with what to say. But was could she say? She shifted her paws and decided to not say anything, unsure of what to do.

"Speech looks like this."
"Thoughts looks like this."

tags: here
notes: here

"Is something the matter? You look really uncomfortable" Aeroth tilted her head curiously with a raised brow, her tail switching subtly. "I just do that with anyone I consider good enough to possibly be a friend. And you certainly seem good enough."
"Speech"
"Thoughts"
Tags:
Notes:

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