ORIGIN - Realization

Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Don't Cry Baby
Cold … dreary … damp…. Despite it’s large size Cetus was not the first choice of a living arrangement for many of the creatures in Origin caverns. The constant mist, the murky waterways, the trenches and jagged rocks posed many dangers and discomforts for many. There were some stray rats that passed through, some gangly fish and annoying frogs, sometimes even a strange creature much like earth’s crayfish that could make for a decent treat. But for the most part Cetus was largely barren as a terribly miserable location. And that was exactly like Selena had picked it for her home many cycles ago. Resting along the side of one of the jagged rocks that had fallen over, the stocky feline lazily glazed around her. In front of her a wisp of silvery grey sparkling in the light had formed a new mirror image of herself. Unlike the bobcat, though, the smoky illusion was playing in a circle much like a kitten would. At one point it rolled onto it’s back and pawed at the sky. The tiniest will squeak came from it as it righted itself up to play again. Green eyes watched silently for a while. How long had she been doing this? How long had she sat away from others? 10 cycles? …. No, that wasn’t right …. 12, 13 cycles now? Most of her life Selena had avoided contact with others. From the moment she was first hatched from her chrysalis she had felt a fear of the outside world. With it, she plunged herself into a self-created isolation. She had no trust for those about her. Even now, full grown with claws and fangs at her disposal she was concerned about the potential of being a target. But at some point during the last few cycles, a strange feeling began to nag at her. Bobcats were solitary creatures by nature. They did not rely on others to have fulfillment except for mating and gembounds lacked that particular need. Many creatures shared that same instinct. In her occasional travels, Selena had witnessed some of the other creatures of the caverns from the shadows. There were some like her, who’s nature should have dictated that they remain solitary beasts, who seemed to nearly search other companionship for some reason. This behavior seemed very strange to her. Why would this be? Speech Thoughts Tags: Notes:

Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Don't Cry Baby

Cold … dreary … damp…. Despite it’s large size Cetus was not the first choice of a living arrangement for many of the creatures in Origin caverns. The constant mist, the murky waterways, the trenches and jagged rocks posed many dangers and discomforts for many. There were some stray rats that passed through, some gangly fish and annoying frogs, sometimes even a strange creature much like earth’s crayfish that could make for a decent treat. But for the most part Cetus was largely barren as a terribly miserable location.

And that was exactly like Selena had picked it for her home many cycles ago.

Resting along the side of one of the jagged rocks that had fallen over, the stocky feline lazily glazed around her. In front of her a wisp of silvery grey sparkling in the light had formed a new mirror image of herself. Unlike the bobcat, though, the smoky illusion was playing in a circle much like a kitten would. At one point it rolled onto it’s back and pawed at the sky. The tiniest will squeak came from it as it righted itself up to play again.

Green eyes watched silently for a while. How long had she been doing this? How long had she sat away from others? 10 cycles? …. No, that wasn’t right …. 12, 13 cycles now? Most of her life Selena had avoided contact with others. From the moment she was first hatched from her chrysalis she had felt a fear of the outside world. With it, she plunged herself into a self-created isolation. She had no trust for those about her. Even now, full grown with claws and fangs at her disposal she was concerned about the potential of being a target.

But at some point during the last few cycles, a strange feeling began to nag at her. Bobcats were solitary creatures by nature. They did not rely on others to have fulfillment except for mating and gembounds lacked that particular need. Many creatures shared that same instinct. In her occasional travels, Selena had witnessed some of the other creatures of the caverns from the shadows. There were some like her, who’s nature should have dictated that they remain solitary beasts, who seemed to nearly search other companionship for some reason. This behavior seemed very strange to her. Why would this be?

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Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Don't Cry Baby
The bobcat became lost in her circling thoughts, resting quietly against the rock. Again, and again her thoughts would wonder, almost brush against that forbidden thought, and then run off again. Her thoughts mirrored almost perfectly the playful back and forth of the familiar she had summoned. The familiar that had been her only true companion all of those many cycles. Hadn’t she been content? Hadn’t she made a nice den for herself? Hadn’t she grown to be strong and healthy and survived? Survived … that was her goal in life but was it enough? For many cycles she had thought so. But was that enough? Was she truly … happy? Was the point of life simply to survive? To make it from one period of rest to another? No, something had to be missing but she had refused to see what it was. Refused to acknowledge that for over a dozen cycles she had inadvertently been harming herself. Something brushed against a tawny paw, light like a breeze, that started Selena out of her spiraling thoughts. She blinked rapidly, then looked down to see the tiny familiar she had summoned resting against a paw and looking up to her. A silent mew was formed by the wispy creature before it disappeared. And for just a moment a strange sadness overtook the bobcat. She had felt it before, yes. Each time the familiar disappeared it struck at her core. Yet she had refused to realize what it was, what it meant. Yet the familiar was forcing her to face what she needed to, what she had been running way from all this time. Selena needed company. More than what a tiny creature of magic could give. She needed someone to talk to that was made of flesh and bone and gemstone. She needed someone to be near, to touch, to listen to, to be able to simply be. It was against all she knew, all that was instinctual for her, and yet the need was as real as the prehnite stone that clung to the back of her neck. Always there but not always seen. Selena realized she was lonely. That she needed friends. “Well Fk” Speech Thoughts Tags: Notes:

Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Don't Cry Baby

The bobcat became lost in her circling thoughts, resting quietly against the rock. Again, and again her thoughts would wonder, almost brush against that forbidden thought, and then run off again. Her thoughts mirrored almost perfectly the playful back and forth of the familiar she had summoned. The familiar that had been her only true companion all of those many cycles.

Hadn’t she been content? Hadn’t she made a nice den for herself? Hadn’t she grown to be strong and healthy and survived? Survived … that was her goal in life but was it enough? For many cycles she had thought so. But was that enough? Was she truly … happy? Was the point of life simply to survive? To make it from one period of rest to another? No, something had to be missing but she had refused to see what it was. Refused to acknowledge that for over a dozen cycles she had inadvertently been harming herself.

Something brushed against a tawny paw, light like a breeze, that started Selena out of her spiraling thoughts. She blinked rapidly, then looked down to see the tiny familiar she had summoned resting against a paw and looking up to her. A silent mew was formed by the wispy creature before it disappeared.

And for just a moment a strange sadness overtook the bobcat. She had felt it before, yes. Each time the familiar disappeared it struck at her core. Yet she had refused to realize what it was, what it meant. Yet the familiar was forcing her to face what she needed to, what she had been running way from all this time.

Selena needed company. More than what a tiny creature of magic could give. She needed someone to talk to that was made of flesh and bone and gemstone. She needed someone to be near, to touch, to listen to, to be able to simply be. It was against all she knew, all that was instinctual for her, and yet the need was as real as the prehnite stone that clung to the back of her neck. Always there but not always seen.

Selena realized she was lonely. That she needed friends.

“Well F**k”

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Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Don't Cry Baby
A low growl was emitted. This autopsy of thoughts was frustrating her immensely. Claws pulled out momentarily as the feline stretched and leapt gingerly off the rock that formed the roof of her den. A good walk was what she needed. Yes, a walk to help clear the head of such annoying thoughts. That’s all she needed. A nice walk, maybe even a bit of hunting for a cave rat or maybe even a plump hare if she could find one. Yes, a nice walk and bit of hunting to reduce the nerves and use up the pent-up energy she was feeling. Tiny sparks began to form on her back with the tiniest of crackles. It ran down her back, sparking off at her lashing tail. As the sound of her steps were muffled by the soft fur of her paws, the static’s sound was able to carry some in the misty cavern. A visual representation of her irritability following her like a shadow like the shadow of her mind. Alas, a nice walk was far from fated to Selena. The misty cave only served to bring her mind again to the train of thought she was trying so desperately to avoid. Emptiness … silence ... loneliness. It was maddening to think. The harder she tried to push the thoughts from her mind, the faster they seemed to return to it. Her train of thought was turning more into a mental trainwreck. “No. No. Nononono!” “No!” She growled loudly aloud. Her claws had came up, digging deep into the soggy earth of the swamplands. Ears pined back against her skull as a snarl appeared on her small muzzle. The fur puffed up, the static sparking from fur tips to fur tips. Her breath came out as a sharp pant, from the mental fatigue. “No….” She breathed softer. Speech Thoughts Tags: Notes:

Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Don't Cry Baby

A low growl was emitted. This autopsy of thoughts was frustrating her immensely. Claws pulled out momentarily as the feline stretched and leapt gingerly off the rock that formed the roof of her den. A good walk was what she needed. Yes, a walk to help clear the head of such annoying thoughts. That’s all she needed. A nice walk, maybe even a bit of hunting for a cave rat or maybe even a plump hare if she could find one. Yes, a nice walk and bit of hunting to reduce the nerves and use up the pent-up energy she was feeling.

Tiny sparks began to form on her back with the tiniest of crackles. It ran down her back, sparking off at her lashing tail. As the sound of her steps were muffled by the soft fur of her paws, the static’s sound was able to carry some in the misty cavern. A visual representation of her irritability following her like a shadow like the shadow of her mind.

Alas, a nice walk was far from fated to Selena. The misty cave only served to bring her mind again to the train of thought she was trying so desperately to avoid. Emptiness … silence ... loneliness. It was maddening to think. The harder she tried to push the thoughts from her mind, the faster they seemed to return to it. Her train of thought was turning more into a mental trainwreck. “No. No. Nononono!”

“No!” She growled loudly aloud. Her claws had came up, digging deep into the soggy earth of the swamplands. Ears pined back against her skull as a snarl appeared on her small muzzle. The fur puffed up, the static sparking from fur tips to fur tips. Her breath came out as a sharp pant, from the mental fatigue.

“No….” She breathed softer.

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Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Don't Cry Baby
Selena began to slightly pant, her muzzle still in a snarl though slowly relaxing. Running away for these past long cycles had finally caught up to her. She could no longer run away any more. How can you run away from thoughts? Her heart pounded in her chest in terror at the realization. To be utterly alone like this would kill her. Kill her, just as assuredly as any of the creatures she constantly feared could. Emerald eyes clenched short trying in vain to keep the tears back. Her eyes stung. Her chest burned. Her lungs felt on fire and her throat felt like it was closing in on her. The pants came harder. Small tuffed ears pressed tighter against her skull. She had feared before. She had known fear since the day she had left her stony haven and entered the real world. This … this was different. This wasn’t just fear. It was absolute panic. Selena stayed like that for an achingly long few minutes until she was able to reclaim control over herself. After a bit of time her breathing shook until it came out evenly. Her heart slowed as her body slumped into a fatigued heap on the swampy ground. And there she laid for a while, simply breathing in the mucky smells and feeling the mist against her yellowish fur. No longer could she escape the inevitable. She had to go out. Not just out of Cetus, for she had done that on occasion to explore and hunt. No, she had to get out of her self-created isolation. She had moved from one cage to another and it was time to set her soul free. Even if that terrified her down to the bone. For to do otherwise would mean the end. She didn’t know how she knew. But deep in her bones, she knew that her life would be over much too soon if this apparent need wasn’t mended soon. Speech Thoughts Tags: Notes:

Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Don't Cry Baby

Selena began to slightly pant, her muzzle still in a snarl though slowly relaxing. Running away for these past long cycles had finally caught up to her. She could no longer run away any more. How can you run away from thoughts? Her heart pounded in her chest in terror at the realization.

To be utterly alone like this would kill her. Kill her, just as assuredly as any of the creatures she constantly feared could.

Emerald eyes clenched short trying in vain to keep the tears back. Her eyes stung. Her chest burned. Her lungs felt on fire and her throat felt like it was closing in on her. The pants came harder. Small tuffed ears pressed tighter against her skull. She had feared before. She had known fear since the day she had left her stony haven and entered the real world. This … this was different. This wasn’t just fear. It was absolute panic.

Selena stayed like that for an achingly long few minutes until she was able to reclaim control over herself. After a bit of time her breathing shook until it came out evenly. Her heart slowed as her body slumped into a fatigued heap on the swampy ground. And there she laid for a while, simply breathing in the mucky smells and feeling the mist against her yellowish fur.

No longer could she escape the inevitable. She had to go out. Not just out of Cetus, for she had done that on occasion to explore and hunt. No, she had to get out of her self-created isolation. She had moved from one cage to another and it was time to set her soul free. Even if that terrified her down to the bone. For to do otherwise would mean the end. She didn’t know how she knew. But deep in her bones, she knew that her life would be over much too soon if this apparent need wasn’t mended soon.

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Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Don't Cry Baby
Breathing slowed, turning into one of cool resolution. No longer could she hide herself from the truth. It was a terrifying monster in her head but one that had to be faced. How did others do this? Was it suppose to be like this? Was it supposed to be utterly devastating to go out and find others? How was she to tell who was an enemy and who would be friendly to her? Are there not predators who pretend to lure in their prey? Her thoughts stopped in their spiraling as she realized a slight tremor in her body had begun to form. Selena was a fearful creature by nature. She was born with an instinct to fear all those around her. Why? That could not be certain. Maybe it was because she was so small for a bobcat? Maybe it was some foul trick of nature? Whatever it was, this was a difficult decision to make. But it was one she had made. As difficult as it was, she knew deep down that she could not remain the way she has been living forever. Little about the world she lived in was known to her but she knew that gembounds could live a long time. But she also knew that sometimes they seemed to simply fade away and she did not want that to happen to her. She couldn’t. She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on the power the strange “Painter” had given her to form a familiar. It was not true company but it was something. And something was what she needed. It’s silent reassurance as she started what would most likely be the most difficult journey she would ever take. After a time, Selena shook her head. Brown ears pulled back slightly in frustration. It was no use. Her mind was too scattered to form the image she needed to summon the miniature bobcat. Not when thick legs still trembled and breath was still caught deep in her pounding chest. Fur on her short bob of a tail was on edge at the intensity of emotions. Alas, what little in the way of magic she had was failing her at this moment. Right when she thought she needed it most. Could she continue without it? For a moment, she didn’t think she could. For just a moment the idea struck her to use this as a sign that she should abandon her mission least she fail or get hurt. But the realization she had made was too buried in her mind to be dismissed so easily. No, she had to follow this through. Her closed eyes clenched, maw crumbled into a snarl of determination. With a low growl, she shook her head at her own cowardice. A paw was lifted, shaking, and then lowered. One step forward. Then again. Slowly, doubt like ice in the back of her brain, she moved towards the exit of Cetus. To what? No one knows. But hopefully not to her doom. Please, not to her doom. Speech Thoughts Tags: Notes: Selena has left the thread

Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Electric Storm, Don't Cry Baby

Breathing slowed, turning into one of cool resolution. No longer could she hide herself from the truth. It was a terrifying monster in her head but one that had to be faced. How did others do this? Was it suppose to be like this? Was it supposed to be utterly devastating to go out and find others? How was she to tell who was an enemy and who would be friendly to her? Are there not predators who pretend to lure in their prey?

Her thoughts stopped in their spiraling as she realized a slight tremor in her body had begun to form. Selena was a fearful creature by nature. She was born with an instinct to fear all those around her. Why? That could not be certain. Maybe it was because she was so small for a bobcat? Maybe it was some foul trick of nature? Whatever it was, this was a difficult decision to make.

But it was one she had made. As difficult as it was, she knew deep down that she could not remain the way she has been living forever. Little about the world she lived in was known to her but she knew that gembounds could live a long time. But she also knew that sometimes they seemed to simply fade away and she did not want that to happen to her. She couldn’t.

She closed her eyes and tried to concentrate on the power the strange “Painter” had given her to form a familiar. It was not true company but it was something. And something was what she needed. It’s silent reassurance as she started what would most likely be the most difficult journey she would ever take.

After a time, Selena shook her head. Brown ears pulled back slightly in frustration. It was no use. Her mind was too scattered to form the image she needed to summon the miniature bobcat. Not when thick legs still trembled and breath was still caught deep in her pounding chest. Fur on her short bob of a tail was on edge at the intensity of emotions. Alas, what little in the way of magic she had was failing her at this moment. Right when she thought she needed it most.

Could she continue without it? For a moment, she didn’t think she could. For just a moment the idea struck her to use this as a sign that she should abandon her mission least she fail or get hurt. But the realization she had made was too buried in her mind to be dismissed so easily. No, she had to follow this through.

Her closed eyes clenched, maw crumbled into a snarl of determination. With a low growl, she shook her head at her own cowardice. A paw was lifted, shaking, and then lowered. One step forward.

Then again.

Slowly, doubt like ice in the back of her brain, she moved towards the exit of Cetus. To what? No one knows. But hopefully not to her doom.

Please, not to her doom.

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Notes: Selena has left the thread