ORIGIN - I'm losing my mind

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This thread may be tagged as mature for possible triggering content.

She was resting, resting and crying. She had cried nonstop, every since she had left the tunnel. Loneliness weighed down on her like a thousand stones. She had been alone for far too long, with only the dragons to keep her company. She needed to escape them. But where was she escaping? What was real? Were the dragons the only ones, there to torment her as she walked the caves? Were the others just figments of her imagination to fill the space? Or the other way around?

She didn't know. And it made her despair. Her tears flowed freely from her eyes as she dug her talons into her skin, her moans and cries carrying so far. Blood was welling from where she scratched at her head, but she didn't care. She didn't care about anything anymore. All she wanted to do was lay here and cry forever.

The dragons had at least given her this time. Ever since fleeing the cave, they had been silent, nonexistent. She was alone once again. Whether this was a good thing or not, she did not know. But at least he wasn't here. She was free from him for now.

She was atop a low ledge, just big enough for her to lay on, her tail hanging off and waving slowly, one of her wings carelessly draped over the side. Her wails were so loud, so sad, so full of despair and hopelessness. She didn't know anything. She was losing her mind from the emptiness.

"Can you hear their voice?"
"Find the one who'll guide you."
To the limits of your choice.

tags:
notes:

Watching a cave through the medium of fungus was never a particularly exciting task, but it was one Giggle took to when bored or tired, with nothing else to do. She kept tabs, watching for Senka, for the Eyes, idly watching those who passed close enough to the spores she'd left scattered around Senka's den. She had since taken the time to spread the fungus some, the spores--carefully, and only when Senka was not in Orion at all--or not that she could see, at least.

The last few times, however, that she'd checked her spores, she'd seen a huge white... thing draped over a ledge, a wing dangling, a tail slowly swinging in the air. Giggle had at first simply wondered at this, but now she realized that she recognized the creature. It was Asimona. The dragon who heard voices, and cried for aid. The dragon who sought the truth of the runes.

Why was she lying there like this?

With a huff the hyena had risen, making her way from the cave, a gruff The dragon looks injured, offered to her familiar when its questioning thoughts had tapped at her mind. Omen flew overhead, giving haunting calls at first and then falling silent. They passed through the unwelcoming tunnel to Orion, and then to Orion itself, and Giggle had to spend some time loping around the cave looking for Asimona. She feared, all the time, that Senka might appear--but instead, she soon heard the despairing wails echoing from one side of Orion's wall.

The hyena huffed and turned her trot that way, speeding it on, wondering what the hell had befallen the creature.

When at last she came in sight of her, she slowed to a halt, peering up for a time with tilted head. She then called out--loud enough to be heard over the dragon's cries, but not too loud, lest the Eyes hear.

"Dragon," she barked. "What's happened to you? Are you injured?"

________________

ROLL THE BONES

@Asimona

She didn't hear the hyena approaching. How could she beyond her sobbing and moaning? What could she pay attention to except for her own sadness and pain? The loneliness, the hatred, all the madness that the voices brought. She couldn't think of anything until a soft voice whispered in her ear, "Someone is here."

She jerked up, her wail dying away, but tears still flowing freely down her cheeks. She didn't at first recognize who was standing there. All she saw was a dark pelt and shaggy fur so, at the very least, it was not a dragon. This was the only bit of rational thinking that was going through her head. She would have, a moment later, recognized the figure as Giggle, but tears blurred her eyes and too many thoughts were interrupting her mental functions.

"They won't stop," she choked out, her voice shaking. "Why can't I get away from them?" She shivered, another wave of tears dropping from her eyes. A streak of red ran down her face from the wound she had unintentionally inflicted on her head where she had dug in her claws, but she blinked it away as if it were merely another tear.

"DRAGON! USELESS DRAGON!" Her eyes moved away and widened with fear as she saw the silver dragon floating above him, her strong wings keeping her at eye level. Asimona wailed with despair and turned away, clamping her claws around her ears, but it wasn't enough to dampen the shrieking voice. "They do not understand you! You do not understand them! You should be above them, yet you let them into you freely! FOOL! I should never, NEVER have let you live, NEVER have let you run along on your own! You are a disappointment, a disgrace to all dragonkind! Shame on you for crying, shame on your weakness! SHAME!"

"SHUT UP," Asimona screamed, curling in on herself, her claws digging into her skin again, as if to wake herself from a dream. But she wasn't waking. Did that mean this was real? That her nightmares, the dragons that haunted her steps, did that make them reality? And everyone else...Faelan, Envy, Dread...they were the lie?

No, NO! They couldn't be, they had to be real! She wanted to see them again, even that snot of a weasel, just to reaffirm herself. She wanted to play in the snow with Faelan again, she wanted to soar the skies with Dread. She wanted them to be real, so badly. She needed them to be real.

"Can you hear their voice?"
"Find the one who'll guide you."
To the limits of your choice.

tags: @Giggle
notes:

Giggle stared at Asimona, nonplussed. What the hell is she yammering on about? Above, circling quite high for fear of the white screaming creature below, Omen cried out nervously. Her thoughts thrilled along their link to Giggle's mind, simple and emotional fear, confusion. Translated, Giggle interpreted it something like
What is that? What is happening? Is it dangerous? Her own thoughts--far clearer in recent days, particularly since her confrontations with Senka--rang back full of calm, wry humor. Not dangerous, Omen, not to me--just a dragon. This gentle sarcasm applied, she paced over toward Asimona and dropped to her haunches, staring.

"You are still hearing voices, then? For a long time I did not know what was real, and what was not. What are they saying?" she asked, her rough voice not unkind, and curiosity evident in her tone.

She thought about it, for a time. Perhaps if Asimona experienced hallucinations, as a rule, then there could be some way to learn what was real, and what was not. Perhaps experiencing actual, physical hallucinations through her fungus could aid? Or she could return and consult the bones. There were also other methods, other ways Giggle had learned, herself, over time, to deal with discerning her madness from reality. She remembered, though, what they had said of these voices last time, and she was not particularly concerned about Asimona's prospects.

"You will overcome them, dragon--remember? You must simply persevere. Talk to me."

________________

ROLL THE BONES

@Asimona

PRATA
put all your faults to rest, you can be king again

the room of the stars was always his favorite. prata rested his eyes upon the white quartz walls of the room, and then at the ceiling that seemed to just sparkle where light caught the crystals. quartz was most certainly one of the greatest wonders of life, he was sure. he simply could not think of another room as lovely as the dimly lit, beautifully glittering sight of orion. it was his favorite place to climb around in, his favorite place to nap... where he hoped to take his future lover, most certainly. prata let himself feel warm about that as he leaped upon a ruined stone wall; not like anyone was around to call him out on his foolishness.

the romantic tomcat wasn't sure how he wanted them to look--soft, preferably, and small enough that he could still really nuzzle them if he wanted to. there were just so many different kinds of creatures in the caves... the possibilities were really endless. perhaps the most important thing would be that they'd be as passionate as he was about learning about the physical properties of the caves, but prata had not met another gembound with quite the fervor he had for research. obviously, there was bartos who shared his fascination, but he was rather old, wasn't he? and no one knew where he was, either...

a sharp, desperate wail cut through prata's imagination, immediately filling him with a wave of shame as the warm feeling left his body abruptly. having instinctively hunched his belly low against the wall of the ruins he'd been walking on, he felt awful, thinking about that kind of thing while someone was suffering. his eyes were fixed upon the direction of the sound, even as his ears were pulled back in surprise.

finally, his eyes caught the source of the sound, above him on one of the cliffs against the wall. a dragon... he'd never met one before. heard about them, about how they were here before the great awakening, but never actually befriended one. oh, he wanted to... (a dragon would be a cool partner, something inside him thought, but prata smashed it down with some anger and shame at himself for even thinking it of this innocent, suffering stranger)

they seemed pretty upset, though... but something about their erratic words made prata unable to simply leave and mind his own business. if they were being abused by someone, he was sure his father or leon would know someone who could help them, if they couldn't just themselves. if it was something more internal... prata thought maybe he'd have some experiences with that, perhaps he could help them relax.

prata hopped along up and down the ruins to approach the dragon. he pulled his ears back slightly at the sheer volume of their cries, and then moved to speak--but found his eyes catching the reddish-brown, furry figure of a hyena instead.

she was speaking kind words to the dragon... did they know each other? prata wondered. but he was here now, so he ought to not act suspicious. as non-aggressively as he could, prata cleared his voice, hoping not to surprise either of the gembounds.

"hello--hello, i'm prata, is there anything i can do to help? is anyone hurt?" he called out, nervous, but clearly concerned and yearning to help the distraught gembound. he didn't know how one could be all at once gentle, trustworthy, a complete stranger, raising his voice, and a tiny tabby cat, but oh, man, was he trying.

"meow."
others' speech.

@Asimona

She could hear them too, beyond the dragon that still screamed and spat. She could barely make out anything. There were too many voices and now there was another, whispering comfort. Don't listen, don't listen, don't listen...

But who was she not listening to? The dragon or the hyena or the unknown third? Who was real? Were they all? Were they fake? How would she ever know? Everything seemed real, yet everything felt fake. This was too difficult, too much for her to handle.

She lashed her tail with agitation at too much noise and it eventually became too much. Anger and frusteration and confusion boiled over and she slammed her claws against the rock and threw her head back, letting out a terrible, ferocious roar. It shook the walls, sending rocks clattering down the ledges. She had intended for ice to shoot from her jaws, but no magic was coming to her now.

When the sound died away, she was relieved to hear that it was quiet now. Nobody was talking. None of them were real. She slumped back down and was about to close her eyes when she realized that all three of them were still there. The dragon was on the ground now between the hyena and the newcomer, glaring up at her, wings folded back and her tail twitching.

She shivered, wanting to retreat and prepare herself for another berating, but her anger was too overwhelming. She wanted her gone, she wanted to never see her again! Kill her! Destroy! That was the only way to stop her, because nothing else seemed to work.

With a guttural growl, she slowly rose to her feet and crouched. In an instant, she was leaping off the ledge, straight towards the dragon who immediately turned and bolted. "COWARD!" she screamed as she slammed on the ground between the two. She had grown considerably since her last meeting with Giggle. While she was fully mature, her body still had some growing to do. She was nearly twice the size as the hyena now at the shoulder, not even speaking how much bigger she was then the cat.

After a moment of glaring after the dragon, all of her energy suddenly died and she slumped back to the ground. "Will this never end," she moaned with despair. She had chased them away before, but they always came back. Always. She moved her head so she was looking at the cat, her eyes dull and barely caring. "What do you want," she asked, bluntly before looking at the hyena. Her voice was expressionless and there was no light of emotion in her eyes. "You...you told me that this would be a gift. That I would overcome. But...I can't. I just can't. They won't leave me alone."

"Can you hear their voice?"
"Find the one who'll guide you."
To the limits of your choice.

tags: @Giggle @Prata
notes:

Giggle scrambled back from the dragon's leap, instinctively backing away from her bulk slamming down so close. She spared a glance back at the cat, and curled a lip in irritation before proceeding to ignore it, looking back at Asimona.

She hated cats.

"I also told you you'd overcome it. You aren't there yet. Obviously," she observed, and cackled shortly. "It is voices, yes? I had a long time where I did not know what was real, and what wasn't! It was maddening. It was mad!" She cackled again, almost mean-spirited, amused. She had no idea who Asimona had been shouting at, but given her screaming at invisible entities the first time they'd met, she had a good guess that it wasn't her.

"Why do you let them bother you? Nothing can affect you, unless you let it. Can they touch you, harm you?"

Thinking, Giggle drew closer, circling the dragon. "...Do they come to you in your dreams? If they do, I can aid you."

________________

ROLL THE BONES

@Asimona @Prata

PRATA
put all your faults to rest, you can be king again

prata winced as the dragon hollered, both at the obvious suffering of the gembound and the noise. he watched, bewildered, as they cried out and leaped off of the ledge closer to him. instinctively, prata hunched down and skittered back in fear, his body rigid and facing the dragon sideways, ears back but eyes wide in distinctively feline panic. after a moment, he realized she had no intention of attacking, and pawed a bit closer just to face her again, ears forward once more.

but now he realized the gravity of the situation, and was left feeling a bit shameful, guilty; he was not the same as this dragon. whatever it was that they were seeing was far more than he'd ever experienced.

he heard noises sometimes, but they were fleeting, merely disorienting. his name, the skittering of little paws against grasses--eridanus was the worst for that. every little rustle of leaves he perceived as someone else being there, watching him, if he was in a poor enough state. but he never saw something, plainly in front of him, that wasn't there. not clearly enough for it to take shape, anyway.

for a moment, prata thought he should go. the dragon didn't know it but he had done them wrong on their very first meeting. how selfish it had been to take this gembound's suffering as an opportunity to further his own feelings? that he simply desired friendship made no difference, it was awful to take interest in someone purely because of the way that they hurt, to simplify them into that. to think he'd have said to them, 'yes, i understand, i feel the same,' instead of just... going in without a motive, to help someone who was hurting. his father had always taught him to be unselfish, and yet prata felt a bit like that was what this was.

when the silver dragon turned to him, prata felt a tightness in his throat, very aware of how they had no idea of the conflict within him--they were simply suffering. that was their life, and his was the one who invaded their space... and was now, unbeknownst to them, having some stupid meltdown about it, while they continued suffering.

his ears pulled back as the dragon spoke, feeling rather small. he caught the hyena's mild snarl, too, but did not respond to either of them.

in fact, he didn't say anything as the hyena spoke, listening and trying to be as polite as possible. he only spoke up to offer his aid when she did, though he sounded more meek than he had originally, looking between the hyena, the dragon, and occasionally the dark walls behind them. "... sorry. i just--i can help you relax, if that's helpful. i don't know how to make unreal things go away, but strong physical sensations help me when i forget what's real, and what is not."

prata kept himself low and humble, not quite fearful, but as if he was unconsciously trying to make himself less... loud. he offered what looked like a nervous smile; the only way to make it up to these gembounds was to give them all he had in kindness and aid, he thought.

"meow."
others' speech.

@Asimona @Giggle sorry about the wait unga i'll try to make this thread a priority as it seems v important to asimona's character progression... also this post is very scattered kjsdfh not very high muse atm sorry

Glaring deadly at Giggle, Asimona lashed her tail with frustration. She didn't get it, no, how could she get it? Nobody could ever understand how difficult it was. "They are not just voices, they are real! Creatures that follow me and haunt my steps. There are three and they never leave me alone. Never." But when she mentioned touching her, her eyes widened and she looked away, heat pooling in her skin. She remembered the feeling of his tongue on her cheek, the heat, like fire on her skin. That was real, wasn't it? He could touch her. Which meant he could harm her.

"...yes...they can touch me. But they have not harmed me. But they can. I know they can." Her tail thumped nervously against the ground as she started to shiver. She covered her head with her claws as tear began to leak down her cheeks again. "But they make me feel things. Things I don't want to feel. And I can't stop it, I don't know how!" Her voice was starting to rise into a wail again as she despaired in her life. "They come to me everywhere! Nowhere is safe!"

She turned towards the cat now, one of her claws shifting so that her eye could look down at it. "But they are real! You don't understand! I don't need to relax, I need them gone! I need them to leave me alone. But they don't! And I'm always so lonely!" She wailed again as she covered her eye again and dug her claws into her skin. More blood dripped down her head as she cried, angry and hopeless at this situation. She had spent nearly two cycles alone, with no one to keep her company but the three that pestered her and never left her alone.

"Can you hear their voice?"
"Find the one who'll guide you."
To the limits of your choice.

tags: @Giggle @Prata
notes:

Giggle stared sourly, her patience rapidly wearing thin. She did not dislike Asimona, and she was wondering if perhaps the dragon truly had invisible tormenters. Some had called Giggle mad for speaking of the darkness and the Eyes, after all. Still, the wailing and carrying on was getting them nowhere, and the harshly practical hyena thinned her black lips.

"We can't help you if you keep carrying on like that," she snapped. "You say they can touch you. I have an idea."

She scooted aside some, nodding to the black bird which, at her summon, flitted down to her side. Its single red eye peered at her, questioningly, then up at Asimona. "This is Omen. When I was in the dark place, with the eyes--tormented! When no one believed me! Omen could come in and out of the nothing. She still can! Bond with a bird, find one and link your minds. Perhaps it can help to drive the creatures off! Or if they only come when you are alone, it can stay with you! And then they will not come."

She paused, thinking, then continued. "What is it that they say?" Giggle added, suspiciously. What could these mysterious creatures possibly be saying to torment this dragon so? Perhaps hearing their words would give a hint as to their motives?

________________

ROLL THE BONES

@Prata

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