Jun 14 2015, 12:07 AM
pls no post, i havent decided what i wanna do with this yet
DISCLAIMER: pls don't feel bad, it's leon's character to feel emotions TO THE EXTREME!
Run.
It was the only thing he'd been able to focus on since he spewed those words, turned and fled.
The anger was still powerful, ruling his mind, but so was guilt and shame and all those other terribly familiar feelings. He was just a child. It was cruel that he was subject to this pain, yet he found himself unable to overcome it. It only grew inside of him, slowly consuming him from the inside out, rotting him away. He was helpless.
For the first little while, he was numb to anything else, fearful of what they would all think of him. Fearful that somebody would try and chase him. Fearful that he would have to see their faces again. All he cared about was getting away. Eventually, he did; he had ran into the nearest tunnel and come out into another room. It was shrouded in mist, and the heat nervously emanating from his body only made the atmosphere more humid around him. He had only stopped running once he made his way into the thick of the tall trees, and then he finally stopped. His head hung and he panted. The lump in his throat made it difficult to breathe. The bear blinked tears out of his eyes and looked around, realizing that now, finally, he felt truly alone.
Truly alone.
Leon's shoulders fell and he sunk down on to the ground. He'd really messed it up this time. He overreacted. His thoughts drifted back to Bevy and the night she woke him up to talk to him about Makyna. She was so afraid that she would say something wrong and everyone would hate her, but how could that be? Bevy had never done anything wrong, and everyone loved her, even Makyna. All Bevy wanted was for everyone in Maji Walezi to be a big happy family. How could anybody possibly be mad at her for being jealous, for a perfectly valid reason?
But Leon. Leon had done wrong. He hurt Makyna, searing her chest with magic too wild for him to control. He had disrespected Cancer by shooting down his idea, angry that his plan (granted, it was a stupidly dangerous one) would separate him from Makyna, who he'd been trying to protect this whole time. He had snapped at Cancer, swore at him and stormed off. Hell, Leon had done wrong just by showing up in Pisces the very first time with Makyna. It was wrong of him to claim that Makyna had been his from the start; it was wrong because she really wasn't. That much had been very painstakingly rubbed in his face.
It wasn't fair. She was all he had! Even Rohan, his brother, was fleeting. He adored the white wolf, he always would, but where was he now? Where was he when Leon was in pain? Bevy wasn't his. Amaria wasn't his. He'd only ever had Makyna, and she'd been absorbed into Maji Walezi, taken by Cancer, leaving Leon with no one.
And now he'd fucked it all up. He had wanted so bad to tell her, when they were in Cetus just a couple days ago. He was so sure of it that what he'd felt was felt by both of them, but that chance had come and gone, leaving the bear clamoring. He'd been fooling himself if he thought anything could ever come of it, Cancer made that obvious. She wasn't his. She wasn't his. She wasn't his.
Long minutes had passed. Leon was staring blankly at his paws, covered now in filth from the moist substrate he'd collapsed in. Muddy leaf litter covered the ground. He said nothing, fighting back those choking sobs. He shook when he pulled himself up again and numbly walked to the nearest tree, dragging his paws. He had barely the energy to even move. The tree's gnarled roots were upturned, twisting through the mud and curling outward. The bear stumbled into their breast, collapsing again in the cold embrace of the solemn tree. Its thick roots cradled him, allowed him respite from the world. He turned his back to the air, hiding his face in the nook of his arm. Shaky breaths foretold the long, quiet cries that would come from him, an artifact of his realized isolation.
He lay there alone, knowing that he could never fulfill the destiny he'd forged.
"Speech"
DISCLAIMER: pls don't feel bad, it's leon's character to feel emotions TO THE EXTREME!
Run.
It was the only thing he'd been able to focus on since he spewed those words, turned and fled.
The anger was still powerful, ruling his mind, but so was guilt and shame and all those other terribly familiar feelings. He was just a child. It was cruel that he was subject to this pain, yet he found himself unable to overcome it. It only grew inside of him, slowly consuming him from the inside out, rotting him away. He was helpless.
For the first little while, he was numb to anything else, fearful of what they would all think of him. Fearful that somebody would try and chase him. Fearful that he would have to see their faces again. All he cared about was getting away. Eventually, he did; he had ran into the nearest tunnel and come out into another room. It was shrouded in mist, and the heat nervously emanating from his body only made the atmosphere more humid around him. He had only stopped running once he made his way into the thick of the tall trees, and then he finally stopped. His head hung and he panted. The lump in his throat made it difficult to breathe. The bear blinked tears out of his eyes and looked around, realizing that now, finally, he felt truly alone.
Truly alone.
Leon's shoulders fell and he sunk down on to the ground. He'd really messed it up this time. He overreacted. His thoughts drifted back to Bevy and the night she woke him up to talk to him about Makyna. She was so afraid that she would say something wrong and everyone would hate her, but how could that be? Bevy had never done anything wrong, and everyone loved her, even Makyna. All Bevy wanted was for everyone in Maji Walezi to be a big happy family. How could anybody possibly be mad at her for being jealous, for a perfectly valid reason?
But Leon. Leon had done wrong. He hurt Makyna, searing her chest with magic too wild for him to control. He had disrespected Cancer by shooting down his idea, angry that his plan (granted, it was a stupidly dangerous one) would separate him from Makyna, who he'd been trying to protect this whole time. He had snapped at Cancer, swore at him and stormed off. Hell, Leon had done wrong just by showing up in Pisces the very first time with Makyna. It was wrong of him to claim that Makyna had been his from the start; it was wrong because she really wasn't. That much had been very painstakingly rubbed in his face.
It wasn't fair. She was all he had! Even Rohan, his brother, was fleeting. He adored the white wolf, he always would, but where was he now? Where was he when Leon was in pain? Bevy wasn't his. Amaria wasn't his. He'd only ever had Makyna, and she'd been absorbed into Maji Walezi, taken by Cancer, leaving Leon with no one.
And now he'd fucked it all up. He had wanted so bad to tell her, when they were in Cetus just a couple days ago. He was so sure of it that what he'd felt was felt by both of them, but that chance had come and gone, leaving the bear clamoring. He'd been fooling himself if he thought anything could ever come of it, Cancer made that obvious. She wasn't his. She wasn't his. She wasn't his.
Long minutes had passed. Leon was staring blankly at his paws, covered now in filth from the moist substrate he'd collapsed in. Muddy leaf litter covered the ground. He said nothing, fighting back those choking sobs. He shook when he pulled himself up again and numbly walked to the nearest tree, dragging his paws. He had barely the energy to even move. The tree's gnarled roots were upturned, twisting through the mud and curling outward. The bear stumbled into their breast, collapsing again in the cold embrace of the solemn tree. Its thick roots cradled him, allowed him respite from the world. He turned his back to the air, hiding his face in the nook of his arm. Shaky breaths foretold the long, quiet cries that would come from him, an artifact of his realized isolation.
He lay there alone, knowing that he could never fulfill the destiny he'd forged.
"Speech"