ORIGIN - The Butterfly

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Pride listened closely, attentive, his ears swept forward and his brow gradually furrowing. His heart wrenched, a little; Charity was not happy. He wasn't sure how much of it was a natural sort of thing--he hadn't raised children before, after all, and hadn't been raised as one himself. But he did see clearly--quite clearly--where Envy's quiet jealousy and, moreso, fear was intersecting with the life of Envy's child, with Charity's desires.

At once he laid down, curling heavily beside the grass with a sigh. It was clear that he had something important to say--not stern, but thoughtful--and was considering his words quite carefully. Whatever he was about to tell Charity was, if Charity was any judge of body language at all, something rather secret.

"...There is much you do not know about your Momma," he began at last, gently. "And I think that you should know, so that you do not hate them. It might not change your frustration when you're held back, or perhaps it will, and you'll find more patience--I don't know. But you do deserve to know. Your momma, Charity, holds a great deal of fear in her." He paused, his demeanor sombre, giving a moment of quiet eye-contact to allow this to sink in.

"When young they could not eat. They have always been very small, and feared being less than others. They've always felt that unless they do much, much better than anyone else can, that they'll have failed, I think--that they'll be less. I've tried to make it clear that Envy's valuable as they are, but I do not think it is something so easily unlearned. Their name fits them--they've always envied those who live without pain, and they have always seen others as having it easy. We are larger, we are not forever in pain; life must be simple for us, at least in their mind."

He paused again, sighing, and nibbled a little bit on the grass--speaking a moment later to continue his explanation. He was certain that this alone wouldn't be enough--it wasn't meant to be--and hoped that Charity would understand once he explained further. He was hoping, too, to speak quickly enough to forestall protests before he'd finished. "There are monsters out there. Envy fears losing you because you're a wonderful thing in their life, and Envy has very few of those, do you understand? They fear if they lose you they'll have nothing left. And of course your momma doesn't want you hurt. As for you being... perfect; they want you to have a good life, the one they didn't have. Envy, I think, fears you failing, and winding up how they view themselves. I don't know if they'll ever understand that happiness doesn't come from size, that joy doesn't come from health, that contentment doesn't stem from power. I don't know if they'll ever be rid of their fear. You can travel with me, at times," he continued, "and perhaps in a cycle or so you may choose to put your foot down and journey on your own for awhile, to learn what you can learn on your own. If it is important to you, then you perhaps ought to do it. Envy is your momma but you are your own Gembound. You do not belong to them--but I do ask you to be patient with them, and with their fear. It isn't fair on you--but it also is not their fault. Perhaps, some day, Envy will understand that they cannot control the world, and everyone in it--and that that's okay. For now, it is perhaps beyond them. What-... I am saying to you," Pride added, realizing that perhaps he was explaining things with too much complexity and grimness for a young and impressionable mind, "is that your Momma has had something of a hard life, and fears for you. Be patient with them, but stand up for yourself, and you'll find things a little better. I think your momma will be proud of you once you do, but don't hate them. They just want you to be happy."

...Perhaps. But I wonder what measure of it is possessiveness? How much of Envy just wants to control this child, to ensure they're their tool when they reach an age to be so? No-... Not a tool. But a slave, perhaps. Safe, obedient, and mindless. This explains Envy's nervous tension, I suppose... They feel the need to control Charity, and purely out of fear. Damn it.

It clicked smoothly into place, in Pride's mind--and how much was truth and how much wasn't, he couldn't say. But it felt clear to him what Envy was doing, now, and why, and he felt deeply and grimly that it was necessary to break this cycle before it harmed their child any further.

But how..?

Brow furrowed, he watched Charity, hoping she'd understand at least a little.

@Charity

Charity sighed and quietly listened- as she was so used to doing, when Pride spoke- her ears perked forward and mane slightly ruffled. Only occasionally did she look away and drop her head in order to tug restlessly at the grass by her paws. She didn't like her training-- she didn't like that she was only allowed to travel by her mamma's side-- and most of all she hated that every time, when Pride returned from his grand ventures, she was only ever allowed to hear about them rather than go and make them herself. She was almost angry at Pride for never taking her himself- but as she looked up at the deer, so proud and beautiful and noble- she felt her anger melt away.

She couldn't be angry with Pride.

She listened mostly in silence, with growing tremors of aggravation. In her mind, it sounded only like excuses... it was impossible for her, with her mind only as wide as her childhood would allow, to acknowledge much more. They might have had it hard because of some stupid gem, but she had it hard because of them. She opened her mouth a few times as though she wanted to butt in, but was unable to as Pride continued. After a while, though, she appeared to have a moment of realisation, and in his momentary pause, spoke. "Is... that what their name means?" she asked, sounding shocked. "Is it just another word for being in pain?"

It... almost made her feel bad. Almost. But stubbornly, they clung to the belief that their mamma was the one in the wrong.

Charity... could hardly imagine how it would be to never eat. She was always hungry- needing to fill her belly every few hours to satiate her growing body and fast metabolism. As though in immediate response to this thought, she munched through another tuft of grass.

"Do you think they ever get hungry?" she asked, after she'd finished. "I could never stop eating for good. Ever. Being hungry really sucks." She was silent, and seemed far more interested as Pride continued, watching him with ears pricked. She was silent, taking in everything Pride said about their mother. How hard they'd had it, how afraid they were, how much they wanted her to succeed, however much Charity didn't like it. Finally, she looked away, back the way they'd come, seemingly making a conscious effort not to look at him.

Finally, she sighed. "That wasn't a very nice story," she said gloomily. "I much preferred the talking diamond."

@Pride

Pride let out a gentle laugh.

"What you have to remember, Charity, is the beginning of that story. Once upon a time, that diamond was miserable, colorless and still. I imagine had you asked it, then, it would have told you that its story was a terrible one indeed!" His voice was warm with understanding. He knew that Charity couldn't possibly understand all that he was saying, no matter how hard he tried.

But she deserved to hear it, so that she could know it down the road.

"Your story is not over. It is only just beginning, like the diamond lying still upon the rock. And the ending--happy or otherwise--is one that you must write, yourself. I think, given time, you will sparkle and glitter yet." He gave her a kindly, sympathetic glance--not at all patronizing, but again simply warm. And then he sobered, some, sighing and looking out over the cave.

"I think your momma is likely hungry quite a lot--they used to be, at least. Without much food in Orion it must be hard for you to find enough. I will ask if you can come to Eridanus to feed, the next time I come. It might make things easier for you, and for Envy too, if they do not have to look after that need in a cave that isn't particularly good for satiating hunger. And as for the meaning of their name--I think Envy is a kind of pain, but not the physical kind. Do you know how you feel frustrated, angry? It is something like that--but it is also seeing someone else who you imagine is much happier than you are. And always wanting that. That is, in a sense, what Envy feels. But-!" And here he broke off abruptly, fixing Charity with a more serious gaze. "We did not come out here to be miserable, no? We have some time, yet--" and here he pushed up, facing toward the Tower. It was relatively close, its quartz outcrops glinting in the orblight.

"--Race you to the tower?" He gave Charity a playful gaze, and tensed himself to run.

He only hoped that they were a little more jovial than Envy; the weasel would probably sulk and mope. Hopefully the far more youthful hybrid would be a little more mercurial, and easier to cheer.

@Charity

Charity's ears flicked back, and she appeared to consider. "I suppose..." she said, after what seemed to be a lengthy consideration. And then her ears flicked forward again. "When do you think it'll get better?" she asked impatiently, getting to her feet with a flick of her tail. She listened further, and then nodded, shaking her head so that her golden necklace jingled.

She seemed to misunderstand the sentiment, though, as she puffed out her chest proudly. "I think I'll glitter like no-one else will! When I'm older I'll be like the diamond-- I'll be the most beautiful of them all. I'll make sure gembounds come from all over just to see me shine!"

I'll shine even brighter than Mamma, she added secretly, and a little bit bitterly. She raised her gaze as Pride continued speaking about Envy, then huffed and nodded. She understood... but then, she looked up, seemingly enthralled by the thought of going to another cave to find food. "Will you?" she asked in wonder. "Do you think mamma will say yes?"

She was about to respond as Pride discussed the meaning of Envy's name, however was stopped as Pride cut himself off. She looked up eagerly, shifting her paws, as suddenly a thrill of excitement crossed her face. As Pride challenged her to a race, Charity's entire form tensed, taking in a sharp breath. She looked out to the tower for a moment to gauge its distance. and then her eyes widened. "Yes! Let's go!" she said with a squeal of glee, already taking off.

But her voracious appetite, it seemed, slowed her down, and whilst her initial burst of speed was violent, and surprising-- she soon found herself panting, her long body slowing down and her legs going from blurs to a waddling lope that struggled to keep her long, plump body off the ground.

@Pride

Pride laughed, and sprang ahead after a moment. His long legs of course made him quite fast, but Envy was very fast too, so he'd thought that perhaps Charity could be--well, fast! She was lagging a bit, though, and a spark of mischievous good nature took him. Kids liked to fly--right??

He very, very carefully reached his magicka for Charity, wrapping its arcane embrace around her, lifting her gently and keeping her moving swiftly forward. With this he bounded ahead, carrying Charity ahead of him but safely low to the ground--so that she was not only winning, but flying, as well.

"Oh DEAR," Pride called out with humor. "You appear to be flying! How can I possibly keep up with that?!" His eyes sparked with playful amusement, legs carrying him swiftly over the rock.

When they came nearer to the tower he slowed, gently putting her down. "And here we are," he said, nodding up to the quartz that glittered over the building's surface. "Do you see all the crystals over its surface? I'm sure you'll shine like them, some day--through happiness, perhaps. Joy brings the greatest beauty, no matter its source."

@Charity

Charity kept on waddling, as fast as she could, but she was rapidly tiring. What she wasn't expecting was to suddenly lift off, and she looked down at the ground dropping away beneath her and gasped. "Pride, look!" she gasped breathlessly. "I can fly! Like mamma does!"

She lifted her legs and stretched them out ahead of and behind her, trying her best to appear elegant and streamlined but really, just looking like a chubby, flying puppy. In her mind's eye she could see herself, serpentine and graceful like Envy in flight, able to twist and turn sharply in an instant and with big, flowing wings. But before she had the chance to truly bask in the glory of flight, she was descending again, and extended her legs beneath her as the ground loomed nearer. "I won!" she shrieked, excited and breathless with joy as she bounced around, darting between Pride's long legs. "I won!"

Stopping, and settling down to catch her breath, she followed Pride's gaze up with eyes that were full of wonder. "Do you really think so?" she asked, eyes shining.

@Pride

Pride offered Charity a gentle nuzzle. "You certainly did win. And yes--I'm certain of it," he answered, gently. He did not tell her--he hadn't the heart to--that she couldn't fly, herself. She seemed, he noticed, to always take the worst from what he said--or to tragically misinterpret, in a way that bound her to future disappointment. It was disheartening; he wasn't sure how to speak to her without simply making things worse, no matter how he tried. Encouragement seemed to make her expect more than he'd suggested. Reassurance gave her unrealistic expectations. Likewise with tales, or knowledge: some twisted force seemed to leave her hoping for more, or sad about something, rather than taking anything lighthearted or positive from it. Come to think of it, he'd never seen her lighthearted.

He clarified the "flight" as best he could without making it cruel, or cold. "Flight is granted by magic--in this case my own, though you are welcome to it whenever I am around. Perhaps the Kings will grant you the same flight that Envy has, if you ask them--but I do not know for sure." Caution, instead of enthusiasm, though kind warmth was there.

Aiming to change the topic before Charity could dwell on it overmuch, he went on--nodding up to the tower as he did so. "We're here, in any case. I do not know the story behind this tower--its history, or its purpose. I could make one up, something fantastic, if you like--" something to leave you with happiness and hope instead of this constant tragic negativity "--or, if you like, you could make one up yourself?"

He looked to Charity, his eyes kind. Perhaps if she told a tale of her own, it would help her to blossom a little, in some way--to extend out her mind, and to show what was in her heart. Perhaps, too, it would tell him more of her, and why she thought the way that she did.

@Charity

Charity looked up at Pride with bright eyes, her expression one of excitement as she listened. Her expression fell only slightly at the realization that it had been Pride's magic and not her own doing that had lent her flight, but as he clarified, she perked up. "Can you do it again?" she asked eagerly. "Then maybe... later I could go get my own wings. Are they from the sky-birds?"

Charity followed Pride's gaze up towards the tower, her ears softly flickering at Pride's words. She turned her gaze away, seeming to consider. "I wanna tell a story! But... I think you should tell me your version, too!" she said finally. "Your stories are the best! I don't think mine would ever be good as yours."

She sat back on her haunches and cleared her throat. Then she paused and thought. Then she opened her mouth, gasped as though in realization, and began.

"Once upon a time, there was a king ruled over Orion!" she began dramatically. "Maybe it was one of the sky-birds. But the King also had a son-prince who was pretty and kind and everyone loved him! But one day, the prince was stolen by someone who loved him too much! The king spent a long time trying to get him back, and eventually he did. But... the king put the prince in the tower to keep him safe, because he didn't want to lose the prince again. The Prince was never stolen again, but he grew lonely and sad, and one day he jumped off the top! The King was so sad that the kingdom went quiet, because no-one wanted to live without the Prince."

She paused, looking up at Pride solemnly. "Now it's your turn."

@Pride

"The birds, yes--they call themselves the Three Kings, I believe." He then listened closely to Charity's story. He'd been hoping for some subtle thread of insight, some hints that he could take the time to pick apart and from which he might glean meaning. But Charity's tale was short, to the point, and so on the nose that she might as well have been speaking of herself. Pride blinked; this was clearer than he could have hoped for.

I should be glad that she is so young. She might not have the experience to extrapolate the world--to tell a tale outside of her own knowledge--were she older. She knows only her own life, and so that is what she tells. Well, it clarifies a good deal.

He gathered himself, thinking over what to do next--reaching out his magic as he did so, as per his daughter's request. He realized a bit late that he was only half-focused on it, so that it took him a moment to lift her, this time: but at this realization he put his full mind to it and after a moment of wobbling, he swept her in a great circle around him before settling her gently back in place.

"A very good story!" he encouraged her. "It is never a good thing to be locked within a tower; perhaps the Prince might find happiness yet. Do you mind if I use this in my own tale?" he asked.

@Charity

Charity squealed with joy and excitement as she was lifted again from the ground, laughing loudly as Pride gave her another taste of flight, although as always, it felt far too brief. As she was set back down, she hopped up and down before spinning in a circle, enthralled by the feeling of flight and clearly wishing to keep the feeling going. "Again!!" she laughed, expression full of excitement and joy. "Again!""

As Pride spoke to her again, her ears pricked, and she settled back, eyes wide. "It was?" she asked in disbelief, eyes sparkling. She then shook her head in agreement. She appeared to consider as Pride asked to use it in his own story, but then nodded vigorously. "Do you think you'll tell my story to others?" she asked in wonder, appearing amazed by the thought.

@Pride

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