ORIGIN

Livius paused, thinking. And again, they were struck with the annoying feeling of not having any idea how to reply. They knew how she felt. They had done the same, and hated every second of it. Not exactly the same, of course... but they wouldn't have survived had others not made sacrifices of their own to keep the tiny weasel alive, so long ago. Even now, they couldn't hunt or eat by themselves, instead using magic to soak the life from other things. Even now, they wouldn't admit that they too, were a leech. And even now, they felt a distinct inability to address the obvious.

"Good," they said, after a momentary pause. At least, they supposed, it had worked. They continued, with a small huff of breath. "Don't say that." But even as they spoke, the weasel felt a lump growing in their throat, a cruel, sharp thought coming to the surface, and making their eyes water. It was the awful realization that they were only delaying the inevitable. That Pride was giving his life away for nothing; soon, none of it would matter.

Livius felt helplessness tighten in their chest, like a lasso tightening around their heart.

But... perhaps it wasn't the only way? Surely there were other places to turn? Tenzin wasn't the only ancient with magic beyond their comprehension. Livius felt, for the first time in a while, a flash of despair that they'd long kept suppressed. They'd tried, for a long time, to avoid getting involved. To keep the pain at bay for the sake of their appearance. But now... well... Amazon was here, beside them, and alive, and they didn't know what to think any more.

"Maybe there's another way. There are more ancients. Lots, lots more."

"We could..." Livius trailed off, hesitating. They'd been about to disagree, but.... "...Take turns." The words offered a hint. The slightest hint, at what was bothering them so. They didn't want to be sick. They had it bad enough as it was, but... if Amazon stopped taking it from Pride, then... maybe, maybe the Seven could split the duty. Perhaps they could have the chance to be a good king. Perhaps next time they'd make a better choice...

"I..." The weasel hesitated. They knew where the deer had been last seen. But Dragon had said not to tell, to keep it a secret between kings. And from Rift's words, he had come across as being more sinister. Livius' quills prickled with suspicion, too, at the mention of the collector. A robed figure that asked mysterious favours...? They didn't much like the sound of him, but... part of them did wonder if they'd almost partook in one of his deals themselves. Pride and the wolf had approached them with a mysterious task that reeked of suspicion. There were many other elders, of course, but could that be him?

Perhaps it was jealousy, but they didn't think they wanted Amazon going near something like that. Still, it might be the only choice they had. "I'll go with you," they said eventually, and the certainty in their voice sent a shiver down their spine. "I can carry you. I said I would."

Livius felt their quills rise a little bit at the tone of the lizard's voice. They felt bitterness rise in their throat, a sudden anger tightening in their chest. So that was it, then? She'd rather die? They struggled, not knowing how to feel. They didn't want her to go. It was a feeling they had wrestled with for cycles. And yet, now, there was a way to keep it all going, and she'd rather throw it back in their face? She'd rather leave them to cry and mourn than just... taking the offer of extended life?

Their gut feeling told them to yell at her for being selfish, because how could she understand the pain that she'd cause by dying? She'd be dead. She wouldn't be there to hear the kingdom's mourning. In their opinion, her death would cause far more pain than keeping her alive would.

Choosing to die felt like a very personal affront.

And they'd offered.

And now she wanted to be alone, alone, and... doing anything for her daughter. But what about them? Their knowledge had extended her life. Their kingdom had kept her safe. They'd been a good friend, hadn't they? Was the stupid spiky dog the only thing she wanted in life? Did they really matter that little to her? Livius swallowed the lump in their throat. They opened their mouth, before closing it again. They narrowed watery eyes, before turning away.

Clearly, Livius meant nothing to her.

"If you really would do anything for Luster, then why won't you just do it? You can stay alive and do whatever you like, then. I gave you that chance, didn't I?"

They tried not to let the hurt show in their voice, but their tone was shrill, and wavering.