Wilder continued backing away as Giggle started screaming profanities. She didn't really process them, too far deep in panic-mode to care at all, and she turned to run. This was bad this was really really bad if she stayed here she'd die! Or they'd find out about Mother! Or something else that the Master was planning.
But she didn't even get one step before utter agony exploded through every inch of her body. She screamed as she fell, white clots blooming across her skin and falling away as both Giggle and Astraea, at once, pulled the fungus out of her small body. Heavy claws pressed down against her back and held her gently but firmly against the ground. Not that she could escape now, but she found herself unable to move much which was only further cause for alarm. But her writhing was held down, keeping her from hurting herself, until her her body shuddered. She retched and spilled white bile across the ground, tears spilling from her eyes from both the pain and from the fear - she couldn't feel Mother anymore! She was getting farther away, the many voices of the hive getting quieter until they all cut off and Wilder was suddenly alone.
And reality suddenly crashed onto her, through the agony that still sent shivers across her body, and her head whipped back, straining against Eythan's hold, widening at what she saw behind her. Astraea and Giggle staring straight at her, furiously, Aure struggling to breath with white clots across his body and a strange eel-creature standing over him... no....no wait...she'd done this!
It was all her mind, clouded by pain, could process and she trembled violently, shocked. This was all happening so fast and her magic reacted, all but stopping time for a moment as Wilder lay beneath Eythan's claws, still held firmly to the ground, but at least now...she could think.
She didn't feel as much pain here in this suspended state and she found herself able to think a little more clearly. The gears in her head, almost completely unused, started to turn and she tried to work out what in the fuck was happening. The last thing she really remembered with clarity was speaking with Reji. She'd offered her a piece of fungus, to inspect, but the instant she'd breathed in, everything went weird. She'd thought things that she'd never imagined she could think, connected with others through an impossible link, connected to Mother, and used as a pawn to infect the Bonebound. Her family.
Had all that love really come from Mother? Could fungus feel love? She was confused. How had this all even happened?! But that wasn't important - what was important was that she'd betrayed her family. Mother had commanded her to infect the Bonebound and not only had she accepted that order but she didn't even question it. Giggle hated her. The Master, Astraea, was probably going to kill her. Aure was hurt, on the verge of infection himself, and they were in disarray because of her. No...no, no no this was all messed up. She felt sick to her stomach, which had nothing to do with the magic that had ripped her from the hive. She felt sick because she'd hurt them. She'd done it again, but this time it had been consciously. It didn't matter that it had been Mother that did it. She could remember doing it, making that choice to attack, and that was enough.
Could she ever hope to recover from this one? Did she even want to?
The Master was going to question her. She knew that, in the back of her mind, that she would be required to give him information. Well, she didn't exactly had a reason to hold back, but she found it difficult to think of anything else but this crushing guilt. She remembered...a hive. Here, in Canis, that she'd built herself, but that only served to heighten her despair. She wallowed in this grief for a while, until time began returning to its regular pace.
Wilder had fallen still, only trembling slightly under Eythan's claws, still wracked by pain. She was crying, she realized, and the adrenaline and panic was crushing together with the guilt she'd just built in herself. She let out a small, squeaking cry as her heart raced out of control. "Sorry," she wailed, "Sorry, I'm sorry...I...I'm so sorry I didn't...I didn't mean to!" She was in hysterics. It was probably a good thing Eythan was holding her down - she may have hurt herself otherwise, claws scraping against the ground as if to hold onto the earth.
@Giggle