who does she think she is?, they're all asking in their heads. all those faces, taken aback; all those eyes, searing into her bones.
who — does — she ... think she is? with effort, she weathered the heat and held her ground, unflinching with conviction. at a waving motion beside her, damask's eyes switched, then softened.
ash. up went a pair of tawny, feathery wings:
why? good question. she didn't choose hers, or did you forget? oh, how to articulate this ...
with difficulty, of course. the accipiter took a step back and huffed out through her nose in a jagged sigh.
the answer was no. there
hadn't been anything else that felt so right, so
true as her own self-made summons on her tongue, the one piece of her that felt like it
fit, except maybe for —
the one that turned out to be a reach, a delusion, just a big lie you were stupid enough to believe, as if someone like you could ever be a ████? right. yeah. except for that.
her claws trembled as they rose to her chest, both sets, pinions crisscrossed underneath. this meant
belonging. all six points pressed with emphasis into her feathers, her skin — any harder and they would've drawn blood. she twisted her muzzle to point at the child, looking ashtoreth dead in the eye.
it's theirs. one wing fell away and folded back into place. with the foremost claw of the other, she drew a circle slightly left of her sternum and tapped a dot into the middle. this wasn't a sign they'd established, nor was it a complete sentence at all — just a standalone word she couldn't've brought herself to speak out loud. ash, though, maybe ash would get it, still. understood or otherwise:
it should come from their heart.
there it is.
and as if on cue:
"a — av — av — ... aaaavii!"
measure by measure, her shoulders ... relaxed. she glanced at eythan. a soft smile touched her lips at the corners, eyelids down to half-mast. this endangered specimen wasn't so much
tight as it was
heavy. a cry from above, and it was extinct.
"tell us, bones; what does the future hold for this one?" family! friendship! adventure awaits! she peeked at the small, alien bone that was
avi, resting in harmony atop its compatriots. giggle's theatrics, all this pomp and circumstance ... it was almost cheap, more a performance than the ritual she'd envisioned,
but oh, come on. always the skeptic. you know better on this. firsthand experience. all of a sudden, she was feeling sort of sick again.
and, hm, do you think your reading would've been that nice? sicker, and eythan was all hope and relief, toasting his newly-named hatchling's bright and shiny future.
they're gonna be a star, they're gonna live the dream! isn't that just swell? the words
feed and
hungry weren't helping.
look, you may have been wanting to since before you showed up, but no, damask, you are not allowed to leave yet.
meanwhile, the superstar themself? they were facedown, licking the floor.
a round of applause for avi vita, everybody! so damask, were you just the most precocious newborn of all time, or what? is that when you peaked? it's been just about all downhill from there, right?
and yet, a crease developed between her brows. damask inched closer, leaning down, head cocked a full forty-five degrees at the child's level as they chewed. they were crunching up the pebble like it was nothing. clearly they'd gathered
some understanding of what eythan was talking about. the stone he'd given life to ... maybe?
maybe? well, sure, it'd be pretty wild, but it's not impossible. she opened her mouth, closed it, thought better of it, and, instead — concentrated: a strike at her stone again, one more time, and it gave her a spark. a pulsing thrum of feeling flowed into her, elementally innocent in its bliss and curiosity. somehow, it made her, the rest of her, the part it didn't touch — it made her hurt. made her want to cling to it. still, she sifted away the emotion, favored the
sensation instead. sure enough, she found hunger, as they'd expressed and as she'd expected, but also a subtle satisfaction at the taste; no discomfort, no disgust. she promptly withdrew, both mentally and physically. thrown into sharp relief, the nausea returned in force.
remember the rules. don't flinch, don't grimace.
"just checked," damask said evenly. by way of explanation:
"synchronization spell." she gestured towards avi, still munching away.
"that isn't random. they feed on rocks — they're meant to. they may or may not have inherited a taste for meat, in addition; i can't be sure." whoa, whoa, wait. is that an opening? ooh, yes, it is! an intake of breath.
run, coward, run! "if you'll all excuse me, i can go and catch something for them. i'd like to help see how they feel afterward, in case of an adverse reaction." she hesitated for a second.
"they're thirsty, too. you should get them to water, cleanest in the area — it's that way. i'll know how to find you again."
and she was already backing out, sails unfurling, tail sweeping along the stone underfoot as she turned.
hasty much? the accipiter glanced over her shoulder, eyes flicking in turn from avi to giggle, ashtoreth, and at last —
"eythan?" one look at him, and
now you really want to go somewhere safe (hah, as if anywhere is) and throw up your bleeding heart. it didn't show. nothing did.
"hey. congratulations, once again." she twisted away. with a beat of her wings, a spring in her legs, and an invisible, yet irrepressible shudder ...
(so you've got a little pseudo-sibling, kid, and they're gonna be a star! aren't you proud? aren't you happy for them and for him? aren't you so much less than enough?)
... damask was gone.