ORIGIN - *Kazoo anime theme song cover*

Wolf Splishy Splashy Fishbeard
Don't fuck with me! I've got the power of god and anime on my side!
The day Wolf Splishy Splashy Fishbeard was born was the day the universe cried.

In other words, it was raining.

The raindrops ran angstily down the bones in a very anime way. Don't question how it was raining underground. Just blame high humidity and a tendency for water to drip off stalactites. The lights were dim and flickered here and there as they swayed through the wind. Lightning lit up the sky (some faraway gembound's magic attempt) and illuminated a spiky crystal ball half-submerged in a divot. It looked like edgy hair, or maybe a sea urchin, and was pitch black because that's how edgy hair works.

Thunder roared out, the lights flickered one last time, and the stone dramatically broke open to reveal ~~the anime prota~~ the hero the caves were waiting for. Spherical squishy body. Vacant purple eyes. Uncomfortably foot-like fins. All at a couple inches long. It appeared the awesome hair got messed up, though, because her stone jutted out of her neck instead of atop her head. But that was fine. She was so cool it didn't matter anyways.

Amniotic fluid swept her into a puddle with a fshweee. She landed with a splump. What remained of her stone fell onto her form with a bonk. The unnamed hero now laid half-submerged in a muddy hole. She did not comprehend this yet. No thoughts. Brain empty. But if there was a thought in her mind, it'd probably only be annoyance that there wasn't any dramatic orchestral score accompanying her birth. She was special, damnit!

The raindrops slowly petered out. Her mouth gaped open blankly as her gills got to work. Existence. And to showcase her ultra-cool special powers, her ginger-ish flesh became white. Pure white. The very lightest shade. Almost to the point it hurt to look at. She wasn't like the other gembounds. Now she stood out like a sore thumb among the soil and bones. Yayyy.

splishy splashy 2

@Comet

Canis was not a cave that Comet visited often, although sometimes she liked to go there to sniff around. There were many interesting scents there compared to other caves. She was not bothered by the rain that came down on her fur, used to soaking herself with her magic spells.

But there was something different this time about Canis, like that spiky black gemstone nestled in a divot. A lightning strike illuminated the cave for a split second, and Comet was able to make to make out that it was a chrysalis. The light dimmed, and when it flickered on again, the stone broke open, the most dramatic hatching she had ever seen, and she had see a lot.

If she knew what anime was, she would know right then and there that this was as anime style as you could get. But she didn't. Instead, the first thought that popped into her head was: how does this thing move? No legs, just fins. Like a fish. There was no water nearby.

The next moment the fish's dramatic hatching was interrupted by a stone falling on the gembound's head. And if Comet didn't notice the fish before, it now turned a bright white color, and she had no trouble picking it out now.

A cautious step towards the fish, then another. Her head bent down to sniff the lump. Was it a fish? Perhaps, it had some of the same characteristics. "Um, are you a fish?" If not, she would have to try and get them out of the water. She tried to lick the thing to warm it up. Comet knew that's what you had to do since it was considerably colder outside of a chrysalis.

@Wolf

The fish sat there. Gaping. Vaguely moist with water. As bright as a firetruck.

But deep inside (very, very deep inside) her mind was speeding. Moving so quick you couldn't even comprehend it. Totally. No words could describe it, except maybe a low-quality anime intro song from the 1990's. Complete with the copyright strike! Yes, those were her thoughts as she laid, slightly bonked and surrounded by bones.

Ah, right. Bones. Her bulging violet protagonist-y eyes drifted over to the bones. None of them looked very fish-like. Most of them looked beastly, actually. But she was not aware she was fish. The bones were beast, so therefore she was beast too. Were they her parents, perishing solely for the dramatic backstory?

Around this time her first words came out. Er, sounds. Just a constant and mindless "flubflubflubflubflub--" like she was a broken, asthmatic water fountain. An edgy water fountain, mind you.

There was a sound to her side. She, in all her pure white magical glory, shifted to the side to look, her dazzling neckbeard glistening in the rain. A creature. White. Like her. Big. Like beast-bones. It's hard to discern what sort of thought process went through her mind, but in the few seconds it took for Comet to cross over she had decided: this was her parent. Hallelujah.

"I'm you." First actual words, spoken in a very manga way obviously. Her voice was garbled, worryingly deep (this was a child, right?) and stilted from being used properly from the first time. And then the wolf licked her, and what a horrible choice that probably was. The frogfish was drenched with slime. Right from birth. And that stuff would stick right to her pinkish tongue if she didn't pull away, along with nearly the entire rest of the fish, until she plopped back into the puddle with a splunk.

She did not react. Blank stares and vague gaping.

Finally, she did move. "What arrrrrre you." Flopping over vertically so all her fins were on the ground, mimicking Comet's paws. Her gills only slightly touching the water. Black stone scraping the bottom. She looked up with her soulless, rheumy, mary-sue-purple eyes. "Me. Is you."

Good luck convincing her otherwise now.

@Comet

Before she had processed that the fish had said something, Comet's tongue had already passed over the slimy body of the fish. Instant regret. EW. That was SO DISGUSTING. But she was too kind to stop, determined in trying to help warm up the fish. Pulling away, Comet attempted the wipe off the slime from her tongue before mulling over the words the fish had said.

I'm you. Um, what? She had witnessed multiple hatchings, but never had they said ANYTHING like this before. "You... are me?" Comet concluded that the fish was probably just confused, hatchlings tended not to be clear on many things. "What arrrrrre you." This was getting super confusing, but she gave the easy answer. "I'm a wolf!" At least she knew how to reply to that. Comet watched as the fish flopped vertically onto the ground, although she didn't realize the mimicry that was happening here. "Me. Is you." The confusion was clear on the wolf's face as she looked hard at the fish. "I'm not sure what you mean by that, since you're a fish and I'm a wolf. Unless you mean it in some other way." This was definitely the weirdest fish she had ever met, although she hadn't met many fish.

@Wolf

The frogfish looked up blankly with her ~~rheumy~~ dazzling purple eyes as the wolf struggled to come up with words. Unfortunately for Comet, what few braincells she had had already imprinted on her and reasoned that yes, this little guppy was a wolf.

"Yes!" Her eyes bulged as she spoke. "Wolf! Wolf! Wolf-- heeck!" the fish reared up to slap her fin-paws excitedly, immediately gagging as her fins lost contact with the water. Oh no, her fatal flaw! She flopped around wildly for a moment, gasping, until she finally splashed back into her muddy puddle. "hiic-- yes! Wolf! Wolf! Wolf splish splash fish is me!" Her tone was obnoxiously triumphant for a toddler, and it was clear nothing was gonna change her mind now. Poor Comet.

The newly-named "Wolf Splish Splash Fish" flumped around in a very anime-y circle, chanting wolf, wolf, wolf- under her breath all the while. "What do wolf do?" she eventually turned back to Comet. "Wolf do swim? Wolf do walk? Must know! Wolf must know what wolf do!"

@Comet

Comet was incredibly worried when Wolf started gagging, and she reached out a paw to help, but luckily the fish recovered by splashing back into her puddle. At this point, Comet had realized there was no convincing Wolf that she was not a wolf, so she would have to go along with it. She also realized how this was probably one of the craziest hatchlings she had ever seen. And heard.

Then came another question, multiple in fact. Well, Comet knew that if she told Wolf that wolves walked on land and ate meat and other wolf stuff, the fish would try it. And die. But she couldn't lie either, sooo... "Wolves walk on land, hunt and eat meat, and sniff things. However," Comet looked straight at the fish, "You are a very special kind of wolf. Instead of doing those things, you are the kind of wolf that swims around in the water and eats fish." she guessed the diet from looking at the mouth.

@Wolf