ORIGIN

THERE WAS NO ONE HERE.

WHY WAS NO ONE HERE?!!!

Dewberry slithered across the rocks in a panic, tongue flicking in and out. She could smell nothing but the sweetness from the soil and the infinite variety of scents coming from Orion and Polaris. No goose. No meesegeese. No wolf. No family. There was no blood, either. The moss that lined the walls glowed a clean, healthy green. Dewberry had never resented its beauty so much.

Clearly, she had slept too long.

Her family might have moved of its own volition to a bigger home. Her siblings might have gone their separate ways.

Or, more likely, the lizard had come and killed them all - or at least driven them out of their rightful home.

Frustrated, angry, but totally helpless to change anything, Dewberry hit her tail against a moss-covered boulder. It did not make her feel better. It did make her tail hurt. Hissing with pain, she wound herself into a messy loop. What was left to do? Mother and Father were gone, as were her siblings. The warmth of their love had been the best thing she'd ever experienced, but now there was nothing left.

Perhaps she could try to find out what happened, at the very least.

Dewberry wriggled her head, pressing her nose to the soil. She had planned on calling up her magicka and using a spell to help give her insight into what had happened. She didn't know what she'd been hoping for. A memory of reptilian footsteps, perhaps, or burnt soil from spells like the laser beam that had been used against Father: evidence that the lizard had been here and was responsible for all of this. Or perhaps a fleeting memory of soft down and webbed feet, so that she could have some remnant of Mother to cling onto. But the soil's saccharine taste sickened her, and she pulled away with disgust before her magicka had a chance to gather.

Then she hit the rock with her tail again.

She would have bitten it, but she valued her teeth a bit too much to break them on solid rock. But she had to let out her anger somehow. Dimly, she wondered how disappointed Mother and Father would be to see her now, attacking a rock cycles too late instead of using that anger to defend the family when they needed her. She withdrew her bruised tail into the middle of her coils, plopping her head down next to it.

And so she sulked.

She had been heading back toward Orion--a few new bits of colored rock and scavenged fish bone in her pouch, intended for her dyes--when a very, very quiet sound had stopped her.

She paused, listening. She was just about to go on again when she heard it once more: the faintest little slap, like... well, almost like a rat's tail, she thought. But what was that? At once wary, Azure began to move again: but cautious, almost creeping, afraid to startle whatever it was--and faintly anxious in case of an attack. It was so strange a thing, to be worried about such a tiny little noise, but the unknown could be terrifying.

She rounded a corner in the short tunnel, and found, to her surprise, a tiny serpent. It was little, thin, and though she didn't recognize Dewberry immediately, something about its colors pricked some now-old memory. The stripes--black, pale blue, and an orange of autumn leaves--struck her, and she puzzled for a moment. She hadn't seen what had made the noise, but surely it was this thing, somehow? It seemed to be... sulking? Or hurt? But I swear I've seen it before. Can't remember--can't stand here thinking about it, though. That'd be rude as hell.

Azure cleared her throat, gently setting down her pouch. "Hey," she offered, voice friendly, and quiet--and she didn't come closer, just yet. She didn't want to scare it, if it were an easily-frightened sort. "Are you okay? Are you, uh--do you talk?" Was it even sentient-?

Memory, abruptly, came back--not in a flood, but in a trickle. The same shape, the same colors, coiled at the feet of--no. Could it be-? Hell, what had her name been-? "Wait, aren't you--uhh. Dew--Dewberry?" she managed, after a moment. Was it the same snake? Could it possibly be?

Azure glanced down at herself. She'd been known as Cloudberry, back then--and she'd looked different, too. Dusty browns, fewer legs, her face another shape. An attack by a dragon had changed her, drastically, in her stone. Would Dewberry even recognize her--if it were indeed she? And there were other questions, too, like-... Was she still like Blackberry had been? Azure hadn't gotten to know Dewberry well at all--was she hostile? Cruel, or a victim, all messed up like she herself had been?

She took another breath, blinking. "Uh, if you--I don't know if you know me--I was Cloudberry, once. I'm Azure, now, I-... New name," she told the snake, and then hesitated.

Azure fought off memories, briefly. Thoughts of all the blood and horror of her past. This was the last thing she'd expected to run into here. And she wondered what it might turn into.

@Dewberry

There were footsteps coming from the direction of the Polaris entrance, and then a soft cough, and then a gentle voice asking if she was okay. Slowly, Dewberry lifted up her head and turned around to reply - then froze. She didn't know who exactly this was. She didn't recognize their face, nor could she match the rest of their appearance with anyone she had known.

But she didn't need to.

The other Gembound had hooves and the antlers of a moose -- but she also had wings, a beak, and the front legs of a bird. It didn't matter that her beak didn't look like Mother's, or that Dewberry was frustratingly unable to put a name to her face. How many other moose-bird hybrids wandered the caves? Not many, she was willing to bet.

Her suspicions were confirmed when the moosegoose (Well, maybe not goose. Moose-bird, then) spoke Dewberry's name, then introduced herself as Cloudberry. So her family lived on! Cloudberry - or Azure, Dewberry supposed, but why'd she change her name? - spoke nervously, but Dewberry hardly noticed. To the snake, her voice could have been an angel's choir.

"Yes!" Dewberry cried. She uncoiled herself and rushed toward her sister, wanting to curl around her hooves like she'd once snuggled against Mother and Father. Actually, Azure might have been her cousin. Or niece? It didn't matter. She was just glad to have family left in these caves. "I'm Dewberry. That's me. I'm so glad you're okay, Cloudberry-Azure. I - Did -" Dewberry faltered. Now came the hard part - asking what had happened. They would have found out about Blueberry's death by now, surely. But Azure hadn't sounded mad at her, so she was feeling rather hopeful.

"Did the lizard come? Why did we move away from this tunnel? Are Mother and the rest of the Bloodberries still... living?"

@Azure

Dewberry might have been a little lacking in the facial expression department--even in body language; without the twists of the lip and eyes, without the lowering of tails and ears, it was hard to read her. Oh, she was coiling around her legs--the front claws, the back hooves--and Azure reached down to offer a gentle touch of the side of her beak. Any other possible confusion fell away at the pure intensity of emotion in Dewberry's voice, and Azure felt her heart breaking, just a little. The desperation, the grief-...

...And it was left to her, now, to tell this--sibling? This stranger?

A roiling rise of sadness, of pity, at once gave away to the old, familiar anger at her mother. An anger that had developed as weakness fell away, a rage that had stewed as Azure had come to realize that she'd been a terrible victim of the goose's cruelty. And how was she to explain all of this-? To say "yes, our family is dead;" but also, "and they were evil, after all?" That they were wrong, all along? Dewberry had obviously been asleep-..

These thoughts, and others, manifested as Azure freezing up for a long moment, regarding Dewberry with a troubled, thoughtful gaze, and then--at last--she sighed softly and looked away. Her entire body seemed to sag, a little, and she paced to the side of the tunnel (so as to be out of the way of other passersby) and laid down in a sudden flop of feathers. It was a weary gesture, as if in capitulation to the entire damn scenario. And it was an invitation, too, to follow if Dew wanted.

Azure gave Dewberry a long, sad look, an appraising one too, trying to figure out how best to say this. She took a deep breath. "Listen, I-... I'm not sure how to say all this. I guess you've been asleep. I'm glad you're okay, too," she started off, and there was genuine warmth in that. She just hoped the little snake hadn't been as tainted by the Bloodberry cruelty as some of the others had. "Mother--Blackberry," she corrected herself, "is... missing, I guess. Blueberry isn't--he's not with us anymore. He's dead," she went on, quietly. "I don't--know how much you know, but they attacked other Gembound. They hurt them, killed them, and those others--well, they had families, too, and those got mad. They caught Blackberry. She was in a cage, but I don't know what happened to her. Everyone else kind of... scattered. I don't know what lizard you mean. But, uhh--if you need... someplace to stay? Help, and stuff... if you want to talk, I have a place, back the way you were coming from," Azure offered, with a gentle nod back toward Orion.

Her voice was hushed, and she was a little sorry she'd rushed the explanation, but what else could she do-? And she wasn't sure of Dewberry--of her motivations, and her priorities, and her morals. Would she be enraged, and look for violence, or would she mourn her family? Both, maybe..?

Azure hesitated again, and once more gave a quiet sigh. "I'm sorry you had to find out this way," she told her, quietly. "If you have, you know--questions--you probably do?--I can answer them, maybe. I'll try," she promised.

@Dewberry

Azure reached down to touch Dewberry with her beak - a magpie's beak, distinct from Mother's goose's beak. But Dewberry felt the gentle warmth of that touch, and decided it was no less wonderful than Mother's. Although she hadn't known Azure well, she knew that the moose-bird was family, and that she loved her, and that was all that mattered. Dewberry pressed her head into the fur of Azure's leg, taking comfort in the moose-bird's warmth for a moment.

But the silence drew on, and Dewberry lifted her head uncertainly. Azure was staring at her with an odd expression, and she wasn't quite sure what to make of it. With every passing second, her heart seemed to drop another mile. Some thing truly terrible must have happened to make Azure so sad.

She followed Azure to the wall of the tunnel, slithering up onto a mossy ledge so she could be closer to Azure's eye level. The news was grave - Mother captured by their enemies, the family disbanded - and her heart still twisted at the mention of Father's death, even though she'd already known it. But, in a way, she could almost consider it good - at least compared to what she had been expecting. The lizard hadn't found them, at least, and Azure didn't know of any more deaths beyond Father. She breathed deeply, trying to calm herself. Azure lived. She lived. There was hope yet. So why did she feel as though a rock was crushing her down with the weight of her grief?

"I know about Father -- that is, Blueberry." Dewberry surprised herself as the words spilled out of her. She wasn't quite sure why she was telling Azure this - maybe she wanted her to tell her that she was forgiven, maybe she thought Azure needed to know how Dewberry had failed before she made any decisions about helping the snake, or maybe she just needed to get it off her chest. "I saw it. I was in Canis, the Room of Bones, when it happened. There was a giant green lizard who used magic against him, and then took his body away. It was so horrible, and I - I couldn't do a thing to help." The pitch of her voice had risen an octave as she went on, and it seemed to be getting harder to breathe. Dewberry drew in a gasp of air, and went on in almost a whisper: "I thought you and Mother and the rest of us would be next. I wanted to warn you, but I fell into hibernation instead - and, well... here I am now."

Dewberry fell silent for while, struggling to get her breathing to return to normal again. She had not shed a single tear - such was her biology as a snake - but recounting her experience in Canis was playing havoc with her emotions. She had dropped her eyes to the tunnel floor sometime during her confession, and now she kept them there, afraid of what judgement there might be in Azure's eyes. Hers had to be the worst kind of failure.

"I'll do better," she said in a small voice, when she thought she could manage words again. Better than what? Better than she had been before, of course. The thought that her words could have meant better than the Bloodberries never even crossed her mind. She hadn't ever attacked random Gembound before her sleep -- Father's words, when he trained her to fight, had been to defend the family, protect against the cold and evil -- but she could find no fault with her adopted family, even when Azure had told her that they had killed other Gembound. After all, if Mother had hurt others, it must have been for a good reason. It was completely unfathomable to Dewberry that Blackberry, who had been so kind to her and offered her so much love, would be capable of doing evil to others. Dewberry had seen the blood in their home, yes, but never witnessed an actual murder at the hands of the Bloodberries. Her mind had never quite made the connection between the mess in Tunnel N and the idea of murdering random Gembound.

What she had been taught was that the family was good and safe and warm, and must be defended against all threats. And Azure was the only family she had right now. Granted, the moose-bird was much larger than Dewberry was and was likely way better at fighting, but Dewberry swore to herself she would strive to become just as strong as Azure. She would not lose any more family like she'd lost Blueberry.

"These Gembound, the ones that were mad at us... are they still around? Do we still need to hide from them?"

@Azure

She was listening, quietly, near to tears--and she didn't know what to say. What to say to any of it, at all--the lizard, the tragic failed warning, the hibernation--until Dewberry said, 'I'll do better.' At once Azure spoke, impulsive and abrupt, heartfelt.

"You don't need to 'do better,'" she blurted, urgency in her tone--and then stopped for a moment, hesitating. It was if she'd confused herself, as if she didn't know what next to say. After a brief pause she went on, quieter, but no less intense. "I didn't know you well but--I knew Blackberry." There was venom, when Azure spoke the name. "They made us into weapons and they judged us on how well we hurt others. And I didn't realize-... It wasn't normal. Do you know that?" Azure peered at Dewberry, imploring her to understand, hoping that she did; was Dewberry fully aware of the depth of the Bloodberries' deviancy? Or did she adhere to the Berry teachings--self-worth through martial combat, love bought with others' blood.

"I didn't... find out until later. That none of it was normal. You don't have to do anything at all. You don't need to reach some... some hidden standard, to beat other Gembound up, or something, to be worth love from your own family," and there was a break in her voice, for she might as well have been speaking to her old self. These were words that the Azure of a year ago had needed to hear.

She paused, and shook her head a little, at Dew's other question. She tried, too, to take a breath--to return to a normal conversational tone, instead of this... frantic emotional outburst with a near-stranger. "No. Well-... There's still others who know the name. Bloodberries, I mean. Berry names. They might... not like it. Look at you funny, maybe, but I don't think they'll hurt you. I--didn't change mine to be safe. I changed mine because I didn't want to be a--a bloodberry anymore."

Not a murderer, anymore. -And that name was fucking stupid, she reflected, bitterly.

"I've... learned to make things, now. Instead of destroying them. Pretty things. Things others love. I give them away or trade them for stuff. I've a new sister now; she makes armor, weapons. We live in Orion-... We have a lot of lights." She swallowed, paused, eyed Dewberry where the snake was coiled eye-high. "You're welcome to stay with us. I can... teach you things, if you want. How to make things." How could she describe the therapeutic nature of art-? Of creating beauty, when she'd been raised to blindly destroy it? Of bringing new things into the world instead of erasing them in a sea of pain?

"Um. Otherwise I think-... I think Yewberry's still around, somewhere." But damaged, she thought grimly--but didn't say. She then swallowed back her near-hatred for her... coward of a snivelling father, and went on. "And Huckleberry, too. He goes by Huckle now, I think. And Yew is just-... Yew." She paused, lost in thought for a moment, and tried her best to focus on Dewberry, to think about the being before her and her thoughts and emotions, instead of only Azure's own. She'd tried, so hard, to be less self-centered, less focused on her own pain and fear these last few cycles. It took conscious awareness and effort, but she managed. "But you can stay with me as long as you want to. Or need to."

She hesitated, again; she wanted to ask how far, how deep, Dewberry had gone. If the Bloodberries had initiated her into bloodshed, yet. She wanted to ask if the poor little snake was all for murder and mayhem, or if such things would still horrify her.

She wanted to ask if it was too late for her.

@Dewberry

Dewberry stared, shocked by the intensity of Azure's outburst. She really thought that the Bloodberries were bad? That Mother had done wrong in teaching them to fight? It sounded good to be loved regardless of her combat abilities. And she felt ... glad ... that Azure didn't seem to blame her, insisting instead that she was worthy of love and even offering to take her in and teach her things. She believed, wholly and with utter certainty, that Azure would love her and want the best for her.

But she also believed, equally certainly, that Mother had loved her. Mother had given Dewberry warmth and drawn her out of her chrysalis when she'd first hatched, speaking soft reassurances and letting the tiny snake curl into the warmth of her down. It was Mother who had brought her to their home in Tunnel N, and Mother who had introduced her to her family. Without Mother, she wouldn't even have a family. She wouldn't have Azure, either.

How can you speak Mother's name with so much anger? she wanted to ask.

Normal? What is normal? Is it good to be normal?

Dewberry stayed still on her ledge for a long while. The only hint of movement came as she breathed, her long chest expanding a little, then contracting again.

At - at least the Gembounds who'd attacked her family were gone now. They were safe, for the time being. But there was still danger in the caves - there might always be danger in the caves. Azure said that her friend made armor and weapons. What if, one day, a Gembound like that lizard came along? What if someone used weapons against Dewberry or her family? Azure said that others wouldn't hurt them. But Dewberry had seen her family be hurt. She wouldn't ever forget that.

She didn't ever want to feel so helpless again.

But Azure's offer of teaching her was desperately tempting. She wanted to make pretty things people loved! She wanted to meet this new sister of hers! She wanted to stay with Azure forever and ever, and never have to be separated from her family again.

Maybe... maybe she could try both?

"I think..." she began hesitantly, "... that sounds like a good idea?" She had her doubts, but they were about giving up her promise to become strong, not learning to make beautiful things. "I want to stay with you. I want to make beautiful things. But..." Dewberry paused, gathering her words. "How can I protect myself, and you, if I'm not strong enough? I want to be strong. I don't want to have to hide when bad people come. And shouldn't we try to find Yewbe - uh, Yew and Huckle? Don't they miss us?" She missed them.

@Azure

Dewberry's last question caught Azure's breath in her throat, and again she hesitated. How could she--should she--even get into how her "brother" had been her father, too cowardly to protect her or even to tell her, all along? How could she mention that their whole family had been brainwashed, willing to kill, to harm, or too afraid not to? How to explain that she hated in them things that she'd seen within herself, most of all, and despised?

It seemed a little bit of a heavy topic, even for this conversation.

Azure offered a sort of cynical, sad little laugh, instead, and shook her head. "Huckle and I... don't really get along. But if you want to find Yew, we can?" Honestly, she had no real reason to dislike Yew, and she should have reached out, before now. Asked. The poor thing had been terrified, nothing really more than that. Azure sighed, a quiet noise of almost surrender; yeah, she should've looked for Yew before now. "Or Huckle, I mean, but--I'd rather not talk to him myself."

She just... didn't want any links with her old family. But she didn't mind Dew, did she?

"Here, hop up, if you want, or I can help you up. I can carry you. I could even fly, if you've never flown before-? You'd just have to hold on tight--maybe around my antlers." Antlers. That still sounded so strange. "As for protecting us, well-..." Azure couldn't protect, couldn't fight, really. She still had nightmares of the white dragon, enraged by the mere family name, driving her to the ground in a terrified, helpless ball of ice, and she shivered at it. "There's always gonna be something bigger, or stronger, than you. Than me. Than anyone, I mean. Mother--Blackberry--wanted to control everyone, so she'd never be helpless, and look where it ended up. I think... you've just gotta live life knowing things can happen. But if you want to learn to fight, there's always magic," she went on, with a little shrug. "Size doesn't matter with magic, at least. Maybe we could find someone to teach you?" Azure offered a half-apologetic shake of her head. "I don't, um. I don't know all that many people." Not after what our family did. Can't really go out and make friends after that, she thought, bitterly, but did not say. "But we can try?"

@Dewberry

"Oh," Dewberry breathed quietly. If Huckle and Azure didn't get along, then maybe - maybe it was best that they stayed apart? She wanted her family to get along. Still - she did want to see them again. Maybe she could try to find them herself. The idea of searching the caves alone was more than a bit intimidating, though, so Dewberry was glad that Azure at least agreed to look for Yew together. She could worry about the details of finding Huckle... later.

Carefully, she slithered off the ledge and wound herself tightly around Azure's antlers. Magic, yes. Magic was the best option to become strong for Dewberry. She had neither debilitating venom nor the size and strength needed to constrict most Gembound in combat, but assuming she was able to improve her magic abilities, it was possible that she could become capable of defending herself against bigger, stronger Gembound. She'd seen for herself how powerful magic could be, both in training sessions and when Father had been attacked. She tightened her hold on Azure's antlers, pushing the memory away and trying to think of better things. Like learning to create pretty things beside her sister, and finding a new home in Orion, the room of lights. "All right. Let's go, then."

@Azure - exit?

Azure offered a nod, but stopped as soon as the little serpent was coiling up around her antlers--she didn't want to make her dizzy, after all.

"Let's go home," she agreed, quietly. She was already thinking of making a place for her... sister, her new sister; maybe someplace elevated, someplace she could somehow keep warm (cold-blooded things needed heat, right-?), someplace with some pretty little lights.

"We can set up a little place for you, for as long as you want to stay. Do you have a favorite color?" Azure asked, gently, as she (very carefully, and smoothly) took wing, a slow and careful flight home.

exit
@Dewberry (for visibility! - I'll poke you on Disc to see if you want a new thread in Orion?)