ORIGIN

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He spoke, and thank goodness he spoke because just the act of him speaking felt calming somehow. Moments, hours ago, it would've been annoying, or painful, or saddening, but now, because of an accident or maybe because of... fate? Now, and only now, she could take comfort in just... Tahi-shei, doing what Tahi-shei always did.

Had they reached forgiveness yet? Scratch that, too big a question-- dear gosh, what had she missed? He and James were together now, lived in Pegasus -- no way, the whole time?! The whole time. The accidents could've happened then, but didn't. They were happening now, when Madhukar least expected them, but perhaps when she was... most ready. Did fate exist? Or was it karma? Or was it all utter crap and she was just kind of... weirdly panicked and thrilled and amazed at the same time?

So there were new spells -- haha, if Madhukar's heart wasn't all over the place right now that might've had its intended effect -- and James and Tahi were going to have kids, that's niCE WAIT WHAT?! AND WITH THE HIVE GOING ON, AT LEAST JAMES WOULDN'T BE ALONE-- WAIT, WAIT, WHAT?! Madhukar's right hand twitched with just -- gosh, just everything. The most minor display of the adrenaline and the force and the inertia of her heart, falling from the sky--

"CH-CHI-- Child?!" Madhukar's throat was not doing well, and yet the energy within her begged her to disregard that. Still, there was no use in raising her voice when Tahi's face was already right there. "I-I-" There was way too much to say here. Perhaps if she told him why she was in a rush, it would all click? Eventually? "Ha- Had one-- two. Gotta-" Ow ow ow ow, "g- s-see." Did that make sense? Gosh, she hoped that made sense. More sense than Tahi's thought process on making children, which, by the way, Madhukar was having about a million thoughts about as she spoke. 'So he knows how that works? So James knows too? How long have they-- HE WOULD LEAVE A CHILD BEHIND IN CASE HE-- HE PLANS TO-- IF THE CHILD-- BUT WHAT ABOUT MOTHER?! WHO SUGGESTED THIS?!?! WHAT IN THE CAVES ARE THEY THINKI--' Just a few excerpts. Too many cogs working overtime in Madhukar's head, too many moving parts. Gah, she was losing it!

"This is Speaking."
This is Thinking.

@Tahi-shei

He saw her panic, and cringed. "Madhukar, you were there at that meeting -- you know what the stakes are. You know that this is bigger than me." He looked askance. "This is bigger than any of us. I am willing to give up anything if it means that the people that I love don't have to be afraid." He sighed. "But that's... not something we should be talking about, 'cause it'll just make us both more upset." He frowned at her. "Are you... alright? I mean, beyond... the obvious, but you sound like you're having trouble speaking." Not that it was really any of his business.

Tahi-shei felt the twitch of her hand. "You as well, hm? Congratulations." He sighed. "Hopefully, with the support we can give them, they won't lose what we've lost. I suppose that's the only hope a parent can have -- that their children won't have to suffer like they did." Not that he could do anything much more than warn people about monsters like the Collector, but he'd get to the bottom of that mystery eventually. After a beat, he put two and two together. He smiled gently. "If you're going to see your children, I really shouldn't hold you up. My chrysalises are still fresh -- just a couple of days ago, really. I could probably have another if I wanted to, I suppose, but I'm not sure if I have it in me to give Life again. It's exhausting, even if Stone is a bit of an unknown." He smiled. "Although, any experiment is worth the time, especially if new life is the result."

@madhukar

Tahi-shei began to talk like a Fungal Prince again. That was less comforting. Justifying his decision to fight Mother... Madhukar knew he probably felt like he had something to make up for as well. A few somethings. Fighting Mother to make up for those made sense, but how was bringing a child into this world on purpose going to help? Madhukar already hated the idea that he was willing to give up his life to this mission. As one of the people he loved, Madhukar felt like this was already scary. She was already afraid. The concept of losing him in any capacity was what truly frightened her, so terribly that she knew she couldn't start thinking about it now. Or... ever.

Tahi didn't have to be bigger than he already was, but... judging by his choices over the past cycles -- the ones she knew about at least -- it seemed like he wasn't aware of that fact. It made Madhukar's heart fragment further on the inside, knowing it was unlikely she could ever tell him that. Or ever make him understand. Now he had a crown and an army. 'It must feel like ride or-- to him.' Well then Madhukar supposed she'd go with him, if that was the best she could do.

Then there came her inability to speak. The emotions weren't helping with that, but yeah, she wasn't doing the best physically. The mutation must have messed with her throat somehow. "M- Th-throa-- ah." That was all she could do to explain. Her throat was seized up from crying.

Tahi congratulating her on her kids was... kind of strange. Well, maybe the act of congratulating someone for having kids wasn't actually strange but it felt strange. Probably because Madhukar had done the first sort of by accident, then hadn't checked in on it for cycles, and also that had been with her chrysalis? And then the other one, the most recent one, she had actually given up her magic and that had been weird, she'd never done that before. Both situations had been rather awkward and nerve-wracking... like now, actually.

She didn't entirely agree with Tahi-shei's ideas about parenting. It wasn't about leaving something behind, it shouldn't be about that. Madhukar liked the idea of supporting any child she had, although she had no idea what that really meant. But alright, if you wanted to support a kid... how could you do that if you were also planning to--? Did Tahi-shei understand how contradictory that was? He didn't want to scare his loved ones and yet here he was--

Now he understood where Madhukar was going. And he talked about... giving life? And giving stone? What?? Confusion wrote itself all over Madhukar's face, even if Tahi-shei could no longer see it. It was instinctual. Giving life and stone... you could give your stone? Like, give it away? A piece of it or the whole thing? Was giving life... giving magic? Had Madhukar just done that??? She supposed she hadn't observed how exhausted she felt. Now that Tahi mentioned it...

And he had a stone?!? Somehow Madhukar had never really... registered that completely. She'd never seen it. He'd never seen it. Did he want to?? He seemed like he wanted to give his stone, or some part of his stone, or however that worked. So he had given life, which was possibly magic, to James's stone... that had already happened?!?! Okay, okay, okay...

In silence, Madhukar thought for a moment. She had to go... did he want to come with her? Did he want to see his stone, however that might work? Did he want another kid on the way?! Madhukar's brows furrowed in her concentration. Perhaps the pensive expression she wore would have been comedic, if only it could have been seen. Then finally it... hit her. She felt like she could still give magic...

Madhukar moved her mobile hand from Tahi's cheek to his nose, giving him something similar to a 'boop'. "S-St- ah--" Deep breath. Inhale, exhale. "Ssstone." Then she pulled her stiff hand to her own chest, bumped it with enough force to make a muffled sound. "M-agic." What the heck was she thinking, what was she offering?! Well... if Tahi wanted an experiment, especially a life making experiment, AND to see his stone... he'd have to give his stone. Whatever that meant. And if Madhukar wanted to understand what he meant by any of this, it might just be easier to see a demonstration of it rather than sit for a lecture. And! And! Madhukar could help him raise it-- whatever child was produced. Maybe she could help--

Maybe this was a mistake, actually. Maybe Madhukar was offering more than she thought. Raise a child with Tahi-shei? Possibly even with James?! And how would she even do that? She had yet to see or meet her first child. She had never really interacted with any kid outside of Kitty... Maybe Tahi wouldn't understand her offer? Maybe he wouldn't accept it? Maybe they could forget it ever happened actually and just move on, Tahi could come with her to meet her kid or she could show him later since he was in Pegasus--

Ah, but the words were out there, posing their threat of being understood and accepted. There was no magic in the caves to reel them back in, so Madhukar would have to let them sit.

"This is Speaking."
This is Thinking.

@Tahi-shei

Tahi-shei looked distressed. "Uh... well..." He was trying to think of a solution, as always. Something within his wheelhouse that would allow him to help her. He recalled, vividly, that Pride could read minds and Vargas could mimic sounds of crying children. "There's spells so you can communicate without speaking," he told her, a little helpless. He wasn't sure what else to offer her -- he didn't like to see her in pain.

But she was grinding out the words stone and magic, and he remembered how Madhukar tended to be capable of doing things before she knew what they were. "Uh-- well, Giving Stone, you cast magic that cuts a little chunk out of your stone, and it falls to the ground. I don't think it hurts. When you cast Give Life, you're... you know how you feel after you cast a bunch of energy-intensive spells? Like it hollows out part of you for a little while? Giving Life, it's like... you take out part of yourself, part of your magic, and put it into the stone." He pondered for a moment. "I think I've always been aware of the fact that, at some point, stone met fungal magic and I was born. But putting it into practice... is pretty interesting."

He paused, letting silence hang for a moment before realization dawned on him. "Oh--! You--! Child?! I mean-- yeah, sure! I don't think James would care," he said, a little bewildered. "I sure don't. Are you sure?"

@madhukar

So there were spells to help her with communication. Well... she didn't think she had developed any? Practicing now would mean trying to aim a spell at Tahi-shei and, knowing her powers, that was the last thing Madhukar wanted to do right now.

He continued to explain to her how it worked, which was helpful! For a while there, Madhukar thought she could settle down, cool off, knowing Tahi hadn't interpreted her message the way she had originally intended it to be interpreted. So Giving Stone didn't hurt... it got rid of some part of your stone? Well, maybe Madhukar should do that because her stone-- wait, wouldn't that just open up spaces in her paw that it shouldn't?! Was the piece taken off controlled?!?! Guess she shouldn't do that then! Madhukar had enough magic in her to share it again and again, didn't she?

Apparently so, since she was supposed to feel exhausted at this point. She had given life to a stone not long ago! And yet she felt like she could give more-- hopefully she wouldn't though. Since Tahi seemed to misinterpret her broken words. And, wait, that rose some questions about Doug--

But then he realized. SHOOT! NO! And he-- he agreed?! WHAT?!! Was Madhukar sure...? Well... now less so than when she had just thought of the idea. Should she say no...? "Y-ye-s." Wait what. Wait. WAIT GO BACK MADHUKAR WHAT DID YOU JUST AGREE TO?!

CRAP.

"This is Speaking."
This is Thinking.

@Tahi-shei

Tahi-shei knew Madhukar. He knew her, even now, even with the tension in her voice. He tilted his head slightly, one of his ears angling closer, and his face creased with concern. Something was wrong, wasn't it? "Madhukar? You sound nervous. I don't want to if you're not really sure, if you haven't totally made your mind up. We don't... have to. Not if you don't want more kids."

He nudged her hand lightly. "It's alright to want things, and to say that you want them."

@madhukar

It really was Tahi wasn't it? Even with the film over his eyes, his thoughtfulness came through in waves. He knew her enough to pick out the emotional tension in her voice, even beyond the physical.

So she thought. Be honest Madhukar. Do you want this?

Well.

She nodded and grunted a "Y-es," letting her shoulders drop. She felt so stiff... but there really were reasons for her desire here. Sometimes the dread and the fear was there to protect you, and sometimes it... was holding you back from something you wanted. Sometimes it didn't understand why you wanted it or why you cared. But Tahi was inviting her to want anyways.

He nudged her hand and she gently pressed into his fur. "Y-ou-r st- st-one."

"This is Speaking."
This is Thinking.

@Tahi-shei

He nodded firmly. "This one should hatch a couple days after mine and James's, so... yeah, we can probably make it here, instead of going all the way back to the house. We'll talk more later, once James is back -- he can read minds, I think, so it should be easier for us to go back and forth. Oh! Or, I could just visit you in your dreams -- I can do that now, too. And dreams, well, they work on weird logic, so you should probably be able to talk fine in one." He took a deep breath and moved out of the way of traffic, not wanting to like... make this kid somewhere it'd get trampled.

"Here goes nothing," he murmured, and concentrated on his magic. Splitting stone from his own -- like breaking out of chrysalis, he decided, just from the wrong place. He felt a twinge of pain, and then, rather like he needed to throw up. Tahi retched and coughed for a while, until finally, he spat up a piece of tiny, glimmering ametrine shard from inside of him. The same colors Madhukar had seen when she'd returned him to stone.

He coughed a few more times, scowling, but moved slightly aside so he didn't step on it by accident. "That was unpleasant. At least it didn't jab out of my chest, though."

@madhukar

So they were doing this. And, after she went and checked up on Doug and her chrysalis stone... they'd talk, by some magical means. Tahi could walk in dreams? That sounded like a more preferable option to seeing James again. It felt too early for that.

Madhukar watched him focus and recoiled as he wretched up something. Wh- Was he sick?! Had he just magically gotten something stuck in his throat??? Then out it came: a fragment of stone. Purple and yellow, like his chrysalis. Had that come from... inside of him?! What--

Madhukar nodded with a little hum, her lips twitching into an almost smile. It definitely could've been worse. Guess it was her turn now. She knelt over the stone, poking it with a finger. Ew. Tahi spit. Madhukar focused now, drowned out any other noise. She had to concentrate or else something stupid would happen, like lightning or mushrooms.

She felt something leave her again, some part of herself. Like after the Trial, but different. The stone glimmered with her sacrifice, magic that would never return to Madhukar ever again. Then she did... actually smile. For once, she was aware of what she had done. She stood up and walked over to Tahi. She attempted to give him something like a hug. She didn't know why -- just wanted to be close to him. What had happened here was confusing and accidental, but it was better than any situation Madhukar had come up with in her head. For that, she was grateful.

Now what came next? She had to go. She had another glowing stone to look at. But she'd see what Tahi had to say first. "D-d-one."

Think "Speak"

@Tahi-shei

She put her arms carefully around his neck, and without really thinking about it, he put his face over her shoulder and pulled his chin in. Hugging her back. A distinctly horse-like motion, to boot, but oh well. "Thank you, Madhukar," he said. "Make sure you sleep tonight, okay? I'll come see you, even if it takes a few tries."

He let her go, and then, because the chrysalis wasn't in his house, took a step away to pace a short distance around it. "Stand back, by the way -- I'm about to do some fungal magic and I don't want it to hit you." That was a conversation they could have later, once she was able to speak effectively and wasn't so damn scared.

Unfortunately, no spores came. He laughed. "Okay, this might take a few tries. You can stay, or you can go ahead and go see your other kid -- I won't mind."

@madhukar

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