James' ears pinned and his amber eyes turned hard like the stone they looked like. Madhukar may have been sorry, but Tahi didn't see the fear in his baby girl's eyes, he didn't know the pure hate he felt for the one who had caused it. He wanted so badly to trample her under his hooves and make her fear like Comet had- but he wouldn't. He killed a rabbit once and had gotten so sick with guilt over it that he'd been ill for days. And it still kept him up at night.

"We'll talk about that later," he said through gritted teeth, taking a moment to breathe and listen.

His anger turned to disbelief, and then...

"... You killed him," James said.

It was kill or be killed...

"... Justice served," he mumbled, but stepped back, breath hitching, "Oh caves... you were first threatened by the Collector, a being more powerful than you or I, and then you defended a friend. Two birds with one stone. You avoided the further harm of both you."

The Collector, despite his apparent kindness to him, wasn't benevolent. Nor was he malevolent. He served his own needs only. Who knew what the crown did? Something terrible, probably.

"You did what you had to," he said, but his voice was hard.

Tahi-shei had still killed someone. But if James was forced into a situation, possibly involving a loved one... he wouldn't hesitate either.

James shook his head the moment Tahi stopped speaking, trying to comfort, to reassure, to-

Lightning hit and he reared, a terrified whinny leaving his throat as he tried to run, only to skid as lightning struck in front of him. He stumbled on his injured shoulder, ears pinned and tail between his legs, head whirling to face Madhukar.

"If murder is justice, then I shoul' have kille-d Come-t when I ha-d th' chance."

He'd never felt such rage. His wings were flames as he tore after her, twice as fast as a common house cat. He jumped and skid in front of her, blocking her way and fanning his feathers, so angry that he almost couldn't speak. He hissed, ears disappearing against his head, his crests raised, colors like twilight, like the last time the sun would set.

"You don't deserve to run you horrible wretch," he hissed, blunt teeth clacking as he reared, wings spread and tail raised behind him, magic snapping and popping in his gem.

His magic lashed out, fueled by his rage, his protectiveness, his horrible desperation to ensure his family would never be hurt or torn apart again- that he wouldn't be alone, that no one would hurt his beautiful baby girl.

Those emotions were horribly apparent in the first wave, his rage and anger lashing out like whips, tearing and snapping across the cat's mind, driving it home that no one messed with James' family. And they especially didn't get away with it.

Then came the screams.

"KILLER! YOU HORRIBLE CHILD BEATER- PREYING ON THE WEAK BECAUSE YOU ARE TOO!"

The words overlapped, over and over and over, and maybe the spell wasn't as powerful or as loud as he wanted it to be... but maybe it was best that it wasn't, or else he could have- and would have- driven Madhukar's mind to break, if such a thing were possible.

James hated Madhukar more than he hated Alpha or anyone else in that moment. He hated her for rejecting Tahi in his moment of need, for hurting his baby girl- and for whatever other horrible things she had to have done.

James squealed as the bolt of light shot for his stone, fear lancing through him as he expected pain, rearing and bucking, kicking and growling and absolutely furious, his emotions so all over the place that he was just completely unable to calm himself.

The timer had run out and the bomb had gone off.

"I DON'T CARE THAT SHE'S YOUR BEST FRIEND!", he shrieked, tears streaming down his face as he practically sizzled, stuck in a cycle of thinking of how much he hated Mad, getting more angry, thinking of Mad, getting more angry, and unable to stop.

"I HATE YOU!! I HATE YOU I HATE YOU IHATEYOUIHATEYOU-", he snarled, spit flying as he stamped his feet, aching to crush her tail or throw her or throw something at her- anything to make her hurt, anything to make her learn her damn lesson.

James snorted and snarled, pacing around in a tight circle, shaking so hard and wanting to punch something, hurt something, anything! It didn't matter what and he arched his neck until it hurt, foam gathering at the edges of his mouth as he struggled to even breathe, his hooves stamping with every step he took.

But he couldn't hurt anyone- not in his anger. That was cruel and it was selfish and he couldn't humiliate himself in front of Tahi but he was so angry and stressed an-

The feathers came out in chunks, black and brown scattering to the ground as he tore them from his chest, rearing and stamping his legs down, jarring his shoulder as he stamped and threw himself into a blind rage, letting everything he'd been feeling for months out finally.

And then he just screamed, his head so painfully arched that he felt the muscles in his neck burn, legs spread and wings slamming into the ground like he was trying to punch something, hating everything, including Madhukar, Comet, Tahi- love had no place in this mindset, and it was only hatred- hatred for their actions, hatred for how they hurt him, intentionally or no, and then came the guilt for feeling such a way, and he bit at himself, punishing, hurting, he deserved it-

He wasn't good enough, he couldn't help them, he was a terrible father, a terrible friend- Tahi would never love them and they should all just leave!!!

James was finally still, scarily so, his jaws clamped on his shoulder, face hidden behind a wing. He pulled away and bit his lip, the bruises denting his skin, aching. His fur and feathers would fill out and hide the wounds, hide them from view, hide them from everyone, hide the fact that he wasn't okay that he was stressed and horribly angry and upset and pissed off at everyone.

And guilty that he felt angry in the first place. He didn't deserve to feel angry. He was just ungrateful and horrifically spoiled. He didn't deserve to feel angry or sad or upset.

There was silence.

"I'm sorry," he said, knowing that Tahi was here and that he'd seen his breakdown.

And he was so ashamed.

James shakily pulled a wing to his eyes to wipe the tears, flinching at the touch on him, but not moving away. He sniffled as the fungus grew, his breaths still shaky and his legs wobbly. He felt faint and tired, the stress that had been building up finally releasing.

Tears welled up, big and fat, slowly rolling down his face. He slowly turned and pressed his face into the other's shoulder, his wings reaching forward to hug him tightly.

"I'm sorry," he said, "That nothing seems to go right."

He was larger than Tahi, but he seemed so small with his head bent and his tail tucked into his legs, even his wings were flat instead of the fluffy mess they normally were.

"... I won't leave," he mumbled, "Promise."

If there was one certainty, it was that James was very firmly attached. And boy did he have a bone to pick with the Collector after this.