James was quiet through Tahi's explanations, his wing remaining where it was, his brows furrowed.

"I had... suspected," he mumbled, "Back in Canis, when I had my... temper tantrum."

He was still horribly ashamed of himself for that.

"I saw the crown fused to your head and I had feared that you'd made a mistake," he said softly, "Everything seems to happen when we're young and gullible, doesn't it? Things that ruin the cycles meant to be the only childhood we get, that force us to look over our shoulders and put up walls to keep people out."

James was quiet, for a time. So, so quiet. Sadness ebbed off of him and he finally just sighed.

"Do you really think I have a legacy?", he asked softly, "I came to the Seven for protection, and Pride trained me so that I could protect others, and I'm not. I'm running away like I always have. If I had a legacy I'd run away from that too."

He shook his head and smiled bitterly, "No. The Seven's legacy rests with Jampa, Pride's daughter. I'm a nobody, Tahi, and you're right. I would get myself and others killed."

And he had. Ari. Not that he wasn't a bad person, but did he deserve death? No. No he didn't.

"... Just promise me that you won't get yourself killed," he said, "That you're at least being careful."

He glanced to the crown and could almost see the weight of it on the deer's neck.

James huffed softly and looked away, "Well, to be fair... my first cycle, Astraea had Pride gather up all the groups and lone gembound to tell them to give up their children to be child soldiers. He made such a terrible point and expected us to just go, 'Ah yes, this makes sense, let us all send our children, who we love and cherish, to die.'"

He shook his head and looked down for a moment. He'd never met Fireheart or Nassir, friends of Pride and wonderful, talented individuals who'd given up their lives for those who had survived the recent Hydra massacre. The eulogy his teacher had given had been heartfelt and he had no doubt that one of them would have stepped up to take Pride's place, but they were dead.

It was him or Reign now, the only adults aside from Comet to take that place should Pride somehow meet his end. Would Pride choose him? Maybe.

"Maybe he'd choose me," he said, "I'd certainly try my best to live up to him. Caves... you're right."

James listened to Tahi speak of Vargas, tail swishing. Hmph, perhaps Vargas wasn't inherently bad, but doing bad things for the greater good still didn't make you a good guy. Just... less evil.

"I am not better than anyone," he insisted, "But when you go to fight, I'll give you something to remember."

He looked Tahi dead in the eyes, his amber gaze like molten lava, "You are only crippled when you lose hope. As long as you keep fighting, keep walking, then all is not lost. And if you die, Tahi... I'll find you once I am dead and gone too and kick your ass."

James stepped forward to nip at Tahi's ear, as if to tweak it playfully, "Selfish as you may be, you aren't as selfish as you may think. For what kind of selfish person would be able to love another? To give to another?"

James stared at Tahi-shei, mouth down-turned. He didn't know what to say.

"... I know," he mumbled, ears down, "... Or I guess I don't. You'll have to make that choice if it comes. If. Prepare for the worst and hope for the best, right?"

He offered a shaky smile, his wings drooping. It fell after a moment and he felt tears welling up.

"I'm scared," he admitted, "Scared for you. Scared for everyone going to fight Mother, risking their lives and their free will for the good of the caves. I-I don't want anyone to die!"

He sniffed and wiped his eyes, ears down as he wrapped his wings around himself for comfort. He wished he could help and fight but they had children who needed him to stay put and stay alive. He could only hope that they won.

James nodded solemnly and went quiet. He didn't want to think about the battle anymore, but it was all his brain would focus on.

"I completed the trial to become powerful enough to protect my family," he mumbled, "So no matter what happens, I will make for sure and certain that not one spore touches them. I did not succeed to fail them or you."

Even if Tahi died, he would do everything to ensure their family would remain safe. He swore it.

James nodded, "Fantastic idea."

He stretched out much like a cat, hooves extended in front of him and wings tilted up. He groaned and shook himself out as he stood back up, stiff from standing still for so long.

"Most likely," he sighed, turning to head towards the tunnel to Leo, "Homeward bound..."

He was tired all of a sudden, emotionally so. It was going to be a long walk back...