[Event] Doctor's Fun's Funhouse of Fun

Fenmyre had caught scent of the growing party. Valkhound stench carried far, and it took her little time to travel to its source despite her usual pace. The fog did not dissuade her, neither did the blurry silhouettes shifting behind it. She felt the heaviness in the cool air around her, and she thought nothing more of it.

But this many Gembound, smelling of many different places, were gathered here for a reason. She felt an odd texture underfoot, the undergrowth of the forest changing abruptly to cool, worn stones, arranged in lines. Aside from a few innane mutters here and there, the crowd was silent. Anxious - she could smell it.

The massive, bear-like Valkhound shambled slowly into the fray, her steps short and shuffling. She reached out to those she felt around her, curious to know what they did. But there was nothing but a great, rolling black, so dark that it seeped through the thin meat behind it and her mind, and all of a sudden she was alone in boiling oil, threatening to force a return to its primordial embrace.

Her steady, slow pace broke into a full sprint, apathetic to those who might fall underneath her great paws and hooves. She still managed to follow the road, though.

Let's start at the beginning.

Audland has been chilling out in Ursa, as you do. The outcome of his transcendence trial hasn't changed much for him so far. The days draw closer to some point in the future he has no interest in seeing, but for some reason it gnaws at the marrow in his bones anyways. At some point, a war is supposed to take place, and he is not supposed to be part of it. That is for the monsters made to go out there. His place was here, in a cramped nest with too many mushrooms, and it was his job to clear out a few. (The kind that were the bane of his lifeblood, not the Chorus.) He was just supposed to do what he always did. Especially once the caves suddenly became short on hands for the side of Chaos.

And yet.

There was... There were several things unrelated to his purpose in life drifting around in the back of his mind. Haunting him. Audland did not take kindly to being haunted. But you can't exactly traipse into a heavily guarded fortress of valkhounds and start demanding hostages. At the same time, you can't be left alone in the cold, lonely darkness without expecting your mind to wander towards all the places it shouldn't.

So he had been creeping toward Pegasus.

It hadn't been far, at first. Day by day, he had been dipping his precious little clawsies further and further into the gaping maw of those endless grassy plains. Today was the first day he had encountered a single other soul out here. And it wasn't just a soul, it was an entire New York City style multi-directional crosswalk amount of foot traffic. The longer he stared gobsmacked at it the wriggling hoard of meat bags, the more he was able to parse traits and patterns he could understand. Traits and patterns he could recognize.

Oh no.

The jaws of the mighty plains clamped down on him, revealing their truest nature long before he felt prepared for it. How many glowing orange eyes and featureless dog-like faces does take to realize you've walked into the biggest family reunion this side of the cave system?

For a moment, he refused to believe it. His eyes pierced through heaps of valkhound bodies moving in pace towards some unknowable end goal, somewhere further down the dark wherever-they-were. He searched for further patterns, further evidence to support the dread knot in his stomach. He counted heads. The horror of what he found was overriding Doctor Fun's (and by extension Game Master Dark's) thought-out vision of spookiness considerably.

Everyone was there.

Better get in line or get out of sight, you giant blue buffoon! His head yelped at him to find cover somewhere to people watch from before anyone had the impulse to make this awkward. He started looking around for something, but then... motion caught his eye. Some screwed up evil dog horse, making a B-line for....

Audland pushed through the crowd, bumping his way through to get to Gemini's side. In one fell swoop, he wrung one big blue arm around the unsuspecting yorse's neck, and pulled it along with him, making them walk in stride. Briskly, they walked straight past V-Chaos-Eleven without a second glance.

A quick shot of magic rang out into the space between Gemini's ears. PLAY ALONG. Audland shouldn't have been surprised by how simple it was to make the creature obey. It simply followed, not raising a muscle to resist. Perhaps it was curious where this was going.

Audland, ever the entertainer, would keep walking until he could stop by a different face he recognized. It was only now upon seeing her face up close that a certain realization about lineage would cut through him like sharp, cold steel. He buried the feeling. "Relic!" He was still dragging his new ugly horse buddy with him by the neck like some kind of toy. "Saw yer deathmatch."

The farther the group proceeded, the darker and more eerily quiet it became. The occasional shriek of a creature called from the woods in one direction or another, as if owls or foxes were calling out, but otherwise... it was very spooky. Of course, even the thickest fog and deepest shadows likely wouldn't frighten the hulking, nightmarish monsters braving the path now, but that wasn't the point. Nobody set out all these flickering or broken lanterns for real fear. No, it was the exciting kind! The haunted house kind! ...One would hope!

At last the trees parted, and the path ended. A thin and somehow weak pool of firelight flickered from the windows of a massive, decrepit mansion. A bundle of leaves skittered across the rotten path as if summoned; gnarled trees thick with spiderwebs swayed in a sudden chill breeze. A cloud of black bats flew overhead.

The manor was two stories tall, its wooden siding darkly rotten, its door hanging ajar. A large porch was overgrown with weeds; a couple flickering jack o'lanterns grinned at the group as if in silent mockery or greeting of Relic (and perhaps her spawn) in particular.

Then! The door FLUNG open! ...and fell to one side, hanging off one rusted hinge. Silhouetted against that dim light stood a cloaked, tall-hatted, crow-like figure, his goggle-like eyes gleaming.

"At last! ...So MANY of you! CAW! And so soon... oooh..." His gaze traversed the group, lingering on some as he muttered something to himself that sounded suspiciously like "...such potential..." but after a moment he gathered himself, and clapped his hands together. "I've prepared for you! All of you. Err." He eyed the shadow of Gaheris in the trees, then the hulking form of Fenmyre. Turned, elbowed the door frame. Part of the wall collapsed and crumbled away, creating a hole large enough for even the dragons and Valkhounds to fit through. "Much better." Then he stepped aside, gesturing them in. "I'm just getting a big--CAW--meal prepared for all of you. It should be delicious! And the side effects, minimal! And likely not HARMFUL in the slightest." He beamed cheerfully. "Please, please, come in. EXPLORE the Manor while I finish preparations. Or join me in the kitchen, if you like! Just, caw-ahh. I suggest sticking to the paths. And don't go upstairs." He paused. "That is NOT! reverse psychology. The floors are rotten. You will simply fall through. HA-CAWWW-HAHA!"

Then he shuffled past, plodding into the manor.

*

Within the manor lay a massive foyer. The chandeliers were black iron, hung crooked, some with a few melted or even weakly flickering candles providing an eerie and still-dim light. It was cold within, dusty and full of cobwebs, massive enough to fit them all.

Three doorways led out, and one rotten staircase went upstairs. (The staircase would collapse the moment someone set foot on it, though. Doctor Fun wasn't lying about this building's structural integrity.)

The doorway to the left looked dark and overgrown, thick with ominous foliage and faintly gleaming with further flickering light. It looked almost like some mysterious garden, certainly not haunted.

The doorway at the back of the foyer led to an eerily dark space. Even here, sound echoed, as if the room beyond was simply enormous, and pitch black.

The doorway at the right was the only one well-lit. A burble of bubbling liquid was audible, and Doctor Fun hastened that way; the scent of food and a bit of smoke, and other more chemical odors, all wafted from this door.

*

Please clarify if your characters are going:

1. Left, into the completely non-haunted garden. (A touch of nature.)
2. Straight ahead, into the cavernous dark space. (Do you like to dance in the dark?)
3. Right, into the kitchens. (Suitable for those who prefer the bubble of cauldrons.)

Characters may still join the event this round. They should choose which room to explore; they do not need to stick together. Splitting up is perfectly safe, probably, and even encouraged.

Anyone attempting violence will be ejected, carried by a mysterious and powerful 'hand' out into the meadows of Pegasus, though they may rejoin the event again.

Okay, it might be the fog, but one of these Gembound was not like the others. D'valinn's neck doubled over as it fixed its gaze, eyeing Crypt up and down. Glowing eyes, thick fur, crown of antlers… Rotund.

His eyes flicked over the crowd, and when they met D'valinn's it snapped its attention back to whatever was in front of it, head whipping away so fast it hurt. The elephant in the room is feeling very neglected right now. It's like you don't even want to hear what she has to say.

It kept its rigid march toward the house perfectly straight, until fast movement caught in their periphery. Purple and blue… somethings. Their brain churned to a halt and they looked to their left again, ears flattening. Oh god. Oh no. Oh boy.

The darkness emanating from the doorway at the back seemed a reprieve from the current situation. D'valinn walked ahead to avoid the consequences of its actions.