Generations - Printable Version

It had taken him a long, long while to track her down. He had meant to find her after the strange story-telling experience, to ask her questions, but she’d disappeared. And it also hadn’t quite been on his mind, then. But now that time had settled, he found that she was a little more than hard to find. Not exactly a large or noticeable figure. Not many distinguishing features besides the heart-crystal and the presence of a large rat. But eventually he’d found someone who had seen her among the first to enter the newly discovered Andromeda. And so that was where he found himself, in the cave that now held the record as the hardest to navigate.

At least in Canis he could look down at his paws to keep from tripping over the bones. But here, the light was so dim that his already bad vision was struggling to find places to put his paws. He stumbled over random rocks and crystals in the ground, keeping to pathing himself from glowing crystal to glowing crystal - at least then he wouldn’t smack right into something.

He wandered around, quite lost, for a time. He had no idea how he was gonna find her, or if she was still here. Eventually he gave up going through blind and summoned those ethereal wings, shimmering with stardust. He didn’t use them to fly, but the bit of light they cast at least made it easier to navigate.

It was in the oasis that he finally found her. He probably wouldn’t have, if she hadn’t been standing before a pool of faintly glowing water - her silhouette was what he could see, otherwise blending into the thick shadows all around. He could see the pointed ears and small form, as well as a ragged bundle next to her that he presumed was the rat.

He stepped up behind her and let the wings dissipate into sparkling dust and cleared his throat to get her attention. ”Excuse me.” He said nothing else - not yet, he wanted to see if she would know who he was first.

Wilder was in quite meditation before the pool of the oasis. Her eyes sparkled against the glowing water and she felt calm, although not at peace. The echoes of Regalia continued to bounce around in the back of her mind along with the memory of what she’d done. The image of the insectoid monster leering down at her, her harsh voice as she accepted the contract, and the sleepless nights that followed, wondering over and over Was it done? Was it gone?. The guilt that had gnawed at her stomach, a twofold emotion - for bringing that into the world and for being the one responsible for its death. Perhaps she hadn't been the one to end it, but she had set it in motion. The blood (or...explosion, she supposed) was on her paws.

Perhaps she had saved some people. Maybe the caves were safer without Regalia in them. But...was she not its mother? Was she not the one that had given it life, love, a home? Was she not responsible for how it had grown up, how it behaved? How could a mother kill her own child?

She swallowed heavily and felt Vaati's mind rubbing against hers but she ignored it. This was one thing that she wanted to ruminate on alone. The calmness of this cave and of the pool before her gave her the peace of mind to think rationally and openly to herself. No oppressive feel of the Spire bearing down on her or the lonely quiet that Pegasus sometimes had. She didn't need Vaati as a crutch here - her mind felt free.

But then there was a disturbance - soft pawsteps that at first went unnoticed, but there was no way to ignore the sound of someone clearing their throat behind her. She flinched, surprised, and was jolted out of her meditative state. She turned quickly and found herself facing someone familiar. She stared for a moment, the dim lighting only offering a brown shape a little larger then her with bright pink eyes, trying to recall where she had seen them and wondering why she had suddenly felt a rush of excitement in her stomach, like butterflies exploding from her gut and fluttering into the rest of her body. It was the slowly disappearing trail of starlight that reminded her - yes, this was one of the ones that had gone on the little "adventure" with the meteor.

"Yes? Um, can I help you?" She squinted, a little intimidated by the lack of vision she had of them and flicked her magic to the side, summoning a small, colorless orb of light that hovered to the side of them, throwing their appearances into sharp relief. What she saw had her heart skipping a beat.

But...that was impossible, because she was looking at N'Chard! He was unmistakable, with the dappled brown coat and pointed nose and...wait, no it couldn't be him, because his eyes weren't pink and his voice was far different. But the similarities were so dramatic that it had Wilder staring at the stranger like a deer in headlights. "Wh...What? How? Wait, who are you?" There was an idea tickling the back of her mind, but she knew better then to hope.

Her voice. Her voice. He remembered it. So long ago he'd heard it whispering in his dreams, his name over and over. He was right - it was her.

But what he felt at this revelation wasn't what he expected. He thought, perhaps, his insides would melt and he'd fall on his mother's feet and cry with the joy of finding her. Maybe he'd feel warm and safe near her, knowing that he had living kin. But all he felt was an icy cold because she had left him. All he could think about were his first moments, hobbling out of the little tunnel that must have been her home, once, and the immediate attack and attempt on his life. If she had been there, maybe she could have protected him. She could have been there for him and Teosar wouldn't have had to show his face. She could have raised him the way she was meant to do but she hadn't. She had never gone looking for him. She had given up.

At the sudden light, he leaned back, squinting as his eyes tried to adjust. She was certainly easier to see now, and he knew he was as well - he waited for the recognition, for the realization, but it didn't quite come. He watched her fumble with her words with a growing irritation and lifted his nose with a sniff.

"You think I'm N'chard," he growled. "I was, once. You would know that, though." His eyes scoured across her body and he really saw her then - small, weak, confused. Nothing like he'd imagined her to be.

He snorted and turned his head. "Sorry for bothering you. I've seen you now so - I'll go." And just like that he turned to leave. He wondered if he'd made a mistake coming here, but at least he'd confirmed that he had seen her and he knew it was her. Now he could resent her in peace.

She felt dizzy at the sight of him and the name that slipped from his lips. N'chard. King N'chard. The labradorite shard. The cave, the others. The chrysalis that never hatched. His name, she'd whispered his name. "Kestrel," she breathed aloud and took a step forward, as if to embrace him, but he only stepped back. She stopped and it felt like the world righted itself and she was left, again, in the cold. Something wasn't right. Why was he looking at her like that? Why did his voice sound like he hated her?

Vaati crouched not far behind her, slowly sidling up next to her so that she could feel his fur on her hind legs. But it was little comfort - this wasn't panic from fear of Order or ghosts of the past. This was one of her many mistakes, made whole, made real, the worst case of this meeting that she'd always feared. He blamed her for leaving. She knew he did.

He was turning and leaving and she panicked suddenly. "Wait!" Wild magic reached out and grabbed Kestrel's body, gently raising him, turning him around, and setting him back so that he was facing her. All in a couple of seconds. Wilder flinched and widened her eyes when she realized what she had just done. "I'm sorry!" she squeaked, trying to calm herself again. "Sorry, I just. Don't leave yet. Please." When he said nothing her ears flicked back.

She gulped. This wasn't how she imagined this meeting to happen in her daydreams. "I know you're mad," she began, her words slowly spilling from her mouth. "I left and...I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. But it...oh, Kestrel, I didn't think you would ever hatch! I thought you were...hibernating or dead or something had gone wrong. I waited for you for so long, so many cycles...but I couldn't stay there forever. It was too painful waiting there day after day. The others left and it was only us but you weren't there. Kestrel, I wanted...there's nothing else I wanted but to be there for you. But I couldn't wait forever." She closed her eyes, trying to hold back tears that were already spilling down her cheeks. "I'm sorry," she croaked, knowing there were no words to truly amount for exactly how sorry she was.

He wasn't planning on turning back around when she called for him, but then he realized that he didn't have a choice. He was being lifted against his will and turned back around, to his insult. His nostrils flared and his gaze pierced with further judgment at ~~his mom~~ the cat in front of him. There was a rumbling growl starting in his chest, but he otherwise stayed silent. Lets hear what was so important that she would violate his decision to leave her.

He wasn't sure what he felt about the confession. He could understand, of course. He wouldn't want to waste away in a cave, waiting for something that might not even happen. But then the selfish side of him chimed in - because she hadn't been there, he'd been attacked. He'd grown up alone when she could have been there. All those cycles of waiting and she'd left. She'd given up on him.

But was he really so selfish that he would demand her to wait for him for endless cycles? On and on until she went mad with the stress and loneliness of waiting? He shook his head. Gah! It all felt so confusing!

He was quiet for a moment, staring at her, trying to figure out what he thought of her and her decisions. She seemed genuine enough about her apologies and her distress, but still. His mouth moved automatically, however, and his voice came almost unconsciously. "It's Kass." Correcting her mistake - she might have named him first, but he was Kass.

He huffed and shook himself out. "Okay, listen. I can understand why you left and all. But when I finally walked out of that tunnel, someone came. They tried to kill me. I'm only here today because someone else had to save me. If I'd died, that would have been your fault. Because you left me alone - a child that you created, defenseless. You knew what you did when you gave life to N'chard's stone, didn't you? You knew that I would be in danger. And still, you left. Did you ever even check on me?"

He shook his head and huffed again. "But...it was a while ago now. I'm not a kid anymore and I grew up fine without you. So it's not like it matters." They were barely family. She meant nothing to him. He wanted to say those things aloud, but Kass was not mean-spirited and to do so would be pure cruelty. She was disheveled enough.