The King in Exile rested atop his stone throne, a long day's hunt behind him and a full meal digesting in his gut. He'd spent many days alone, occasionally teaching Niru the odd trick or two for hunting and magic, but otherwise spending more and more time to himself. He didn't want his thoughts escaping. He didn't need his vulnerable son catching wind of his doubts. The King was not himself.

Cancer.

He was starting to hate that name. The meaning rang in his ears, like some taunting nightmare, repeating in that same hateful tone over and over and over...

"It's not my fault." He'd tell himself, over and over again. "I didn't mean it."

Raheerah. He'd swung by the entrance to Polaris some days ago, had seen the horrors the dragon had inflicted upon the heart of Origin Cave. He'd blamed himself, of course, for letting the beast fly away. He couldn't have stopped it, but of course, the young leopard didn't care about the reality of his situation. Ever since the Exile, he thought himself nothing more than a warmonger. How could he see himself as anything more than that, after abandoning his family? Lying to Fang? Sending her off after Leon, and still holding some sense of disrespect for the bear even after they'd made up for the fight. Now, he had little to show for his efforts besides burned pads and a scarred face- a scarred face he now hid behind a crystal mask of his own design. The red gemstone hid his features, but not the pale yellow of his eyes. His scaled armor along with it made him look like an entirely different creature- but inside, he knew he was still the same damn--

"OH ENOUGH OF THIS!" A roar echoed through Orion, rebellious against its owner. The cat launched from the throne in a fit of frustration, landing atop the wall with extended claws, adding even more claw marks to the brutalized carvings from before. He threw himself down at the floor below, effectively throwing an all-out fit. "IDIOT!" Another smack at the wall, lashing tail, angry red glow...

...and to his immense horror, his magic sparked and he felt a flash of white-hot pain run up his front limbs. Blood followed, spurting out as twisted yellow, orange and red stone spikes shot out from his front legs, ripping the skin there apart as they grew. The cat let out a horrific shriek and recoiled, sending the new growths flying off of him, but leaving bone-deep wounds in turn. He bared his teeth and carefully turned away from the wall, stumbling as he tried to keep his balance, landing hard on the ground as he gasped, clutching his paws to his chest and failing to stop the bleeding. Eyes clenched shut, ears pinned back, he felt the fight die in his chest and with a pathetic sob, began to cry his pain away.

Cancer continued to quietly sob through his pain, the agony of it seeming more real now than it had ever been fighting Raheerah or Leon. He'd almost died in that first fight, but now, this self-inflicted pain seemed bittersweet- the blissful release of all that pent up rage, the twisted terror of blood spilt across smooth, crystalline stone floors, the brutality of his emotions... and then, Amaria. Her voice was like a familiar tune heard from a distance. Then, she appeared beside him, stumbling to the ground only inches away. He turned away from her, rolling with those paws tucked tighter, fruitlessly trying to hide the wounds, the blood. Another sob escaped his mouth, then the cat opened tear-soaked eyes to look upon the only friend he'd managed to keep from Pisces...

"Amaria." He choked. Then, against his will, against all reason, the cat broke into a wail. "I fucked up! I'm so stupid!" He'd let Raheerah out. He'd ruined his only chance at happiness by overreacting. He'd abandoned his daughter. He'd broken his old love's heart. He'd been a fool. Now, he cried, exclaiming these self-loathing facts between hiccups and sobs, bleeding front legs clenched to his chest so tightly it became hard to breath between ugly wailing and mournful admissions. "That dragon is destroying the caves and it's all my fault! I'm a monster! Makyna was right!" More sobbing. "I'm so sorry, oh gods...!" Anything the cat said after that was too muffled with wet tears to make any sense.

Torn. Bleeding. Hurt. Hysterical. Cancer was all sorts of things in that moment, even as Amaria soothed him with gentle touches and reassuring words. She did calm him, but not enough to make much of a difference. The cat still wailed, pathetic and in pain. He rolled into his friend, arms more numb than burning or stinging anymore. Softly, slowly, he hiccuped and in a few more moments, he sighed into her fur, face buried, shaking continued but breathing steadied.

"I n-never meant it..." He sobbed. "I didn't..." He wasn't even sure what it was anymore. "I just... w-want to... I just want to go home..." The sobbing continued a moment, then died out just as quickly as it came. Tiny hiccups and a choked voice, wet fur, bloodied arms... oh, that blood. He felt the familiar tossing of his stomach and buried his face again, whimpering...

...and with a soft glow of magic, his horns turned red and he felt out, towards Amaria's steadier, though still rapid, heartbeat. He clung to that, and felt his own pulse slow to match hers. Gently, he shuffled closer and with half-lidded eyes still gleaming a steady cherry red, started to purr.

"It's okay... it's okay Amy. Be calm for me..." His voice was a trance, soft and sweet. He held that connection, a moment longer. He clung to it, as if for his life. She was the only one who'd never wronged him, never given up or betrayed that trust. He'd been insulted by his other friends, betrayed, abandoned by his family. Amaria was the only one who'd never once thought less of him, or turned away from him. He felt safe with her... and so, despite the pain, as he released the spell and golden hues returned, Cancer felt the lull of sweet serenity even so.

It was the briefest moment or relief before Bevy flew in upon the pair. Cancer winced as Amaria tore herself away from him with Bevy's approach and sweet voice- oh, Enna. Enna was good. Anyone but Calypso was good right now. He dared to open his eyes again, and gaze upon the bird he'd come to know as his best friend- and fiercest competition at times, though never in the same way Leon was. That bear... he'd laugh now, or make a scene. Bad enough these two were seeing him like this. That anxiety returned in his chest- these two, Amaria, Bevy... no, Enna. They were precious to him. Both of them, for their own reasons but for so many reasons each.

How could he have let them see this? To bear the pain he'd been holding in for so long, now spilt in his blood on the stone for all to see, to smell, to witness. He cringed as he rose his head, sputtered to protest but silenced himself a moment later in shame, gaze darting away.

"Bad cast." He explained, voice raspy, as he extended those bloodied front legs for Enna's inspection. He looked at her, that tiny bird he'd once thought would grow large alongside him, but long ago have proven to be cute and tiny for life. He felt a warmth in his chest at the thought, delirious from the blood loss, or perhaps from that home-sick feeling Enna brought with her, Amaria too. That longing to return to that perfect place, the roaring falls, the company of his family. His home. Tears sprung to his eyes at the image of his den back in Pisces. He also let himself cry again, but something caught his attention first. The flicker of blue in the corner of his eye. Almost selfishly, greedily, he stretched his neck and with gentle teeth, grabbed at the ends of Amaria's scruff in a 'come closer' gesture- whatever Bevy was about to do, he was certain it'd be uncomfortable. He couldn't hold paws or bite into leather. He hoped Amaria would at least give him the support he sought for.

In a daze, he failed to consider how dangerous this meeting was for all of them. Should Makyna come across the trio, see the closeness of her 'sisters' to him... a fight could break out. If Niru were to hear such a battle unfold, witness the strife between himself and the fabled Maji... war could break out in an instant. But none of this seemed to bother the cat as he basked in the hazy glow of pain and friendship- the likes of which he desperately needed right now.