Zevruu was a shell of his former life.

Though really, what had he been in the past? An anxious, wary, stuttering mess? He wasn’t that much different now. It was just for different reasons than it had been in the past.

He wasn’t sure if there had ever been a time where he wasn’t anxious or scared of everyone around him. And he was so sick of it. But he couldn’t change. Not when he was like this. Not when these caves were like this.

For now, he found himself in Polaris. Not that he particularly cared where he was, as long as it wasn’t Orion. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever go back to his old home. Too much had happened there. The memories that lingered had become too much. He needed a new home, but he didn’t know where. So he wandered, hardly aware of what was around him. The only reason he even knew he was in Polaris was the crackle of magic from the spire, keeping him slightly on edge.

As he walked, his paws dragged along the ground, leaving tracks behind him. But he paid them no attention. It didn’t matter. Nothing really mattered. Eating didn’t really matter. He couldn’t die from starvation. He’d have known by now if he could. He could still feel it, though. His stomach, begging for food. The constant pain. It reminded him that he’s alive, that he’s still here.

He’s not sure he wants to be.

His ribs were clearly able to be seen, and the ridges from his spine stuck out. His steps were shaky, almost as though he would collapse at any second. Still, he continued walking. Just keep walking, nothing else mattered. If he just kept walking, maybe he could avoid everything that had plagued his life.


"Speech" l 'Thoughts'

During his wandering, Zevruu found himself nearing the Spire. He had never cared much for the giant crystal. It was always something that was just there. He could feel the crackle of magic around it, but right now that wasn't what he was focusing on. He frowned a little, thinking some more. The Spire had been there for as long as he'd known. And it had to have been here even longer, right? What had it seen? What had it experienced?

Or was it simply an object, like all the other crystals? Surely, that would make the most sense. But as he stepped closer, until he was almost touching it, something just seemed different about it. Maybe it was the size or the magic that made it seem to almost pulsate. He didn't know. He wasn't sure if anything was different about it or if he was going crazy. Wouldn't be too off for him, he supposed.

As he continued to stare at the Spire, he began to feel almost...angry. If the Spire was something that was living, or once had been, or something...He didn't know. He didn't know and he was tired of not knowing. This thing, the Spire...it had seen everything. It was always watching. It didn't matter if it had eyes or not. It knew everything. How could it not? It was here, this giant crystal in Polaris. And it was connected to all the other rooms, surely.

It watched everything. Maybe it knew about the Dreamstalker. Maybe it had created the Dreamstalker. Or maybe the Dreamstalker was a part of the Spire, or the Spire a part of it. Or maybe they weren't connected in any way. He didn't know. So many cycles in these caves and he didn't know a damn thing. Maybe he just hadn't talked to the right gembounds, or done the right things. Perhaps he could change that now?

After the debacle that was the magicka competition, Zevruu had thought about swearing off of magic for good. But it wasn't always bad. It was quite pretty, in fact. He liked his magic. Aside from that wretched spell, that was. But maybe that spell was just what he needed. He still didn't know what it was, what it did. Something to do with emotions, maybe. Pictures, thoughts...the mind. Did the Spire have a mind of its own? And what would happen if he cast that spell on it?

He had sworn off from using it, but...maybe he could do it just this once? Who knew what would happen? He could die. But he didn't particularly care about living anymore. He'd been in these caves long enough, who cared what happened to him now? Maybe this was the only way he could finally escape, something he'd longed for for so long. Perhaps it was finally within reach.

So he took a deep breath and began to look deep within himself, drawing out the spell he'd mistakenly used earlier. But this time, it was no mistake. He knew what he was doing. And as he felt it come to him, he turned his attention to the Spire, trying to direct the magic toward it.

"Speech" l 'Thoughts'

As soon as he had done it, Zevruu knew this was a mistake.

It started as a hum that rapidly grew louder until all he could hear was this sound unlike any other he had ever heard. Immediately, he curled in on himself, but it did nothing to stop the noise. And then his mind began to become inflicted with more. The sound, his own magic, repeating in his head. It seemed endless. He would never escape.

And then the images started. Fangs, thorns, shadows. Then the Spire, cracking...shattering...Everything was fading away. And he was left in darkness. He was falling, falling down, where no one would ever see him again...

His eyes snapped open. He was still curled in on himself, but all he could focus on was his excruciating headache and...a bloodied nose. But still, he couldn't focus on that. Not really. He still had the memories of what happened. Snapshots of shadows, of the world shattering around him as he fell into nothing. He would never forget. How could he?

He lay there, still curled in on himself. What had happened was terrible, but he was only filled with the idea that it could have been worse. It could have been a lot worse.

And suddenly, he had to get out of Polaris. He got up, limbs shakily supporting him. The headache still lingered, and it was terrible, but that didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was getting out of there. He started to run, heading toward the nearest exit - whichever one that was - and nearly fell a couple of times. He had no idea how much time had passed since he made what was possibly the biggest mistake of his life, but he didn't care. He just needed out.

-exit Zevruu-

"Speech" l 'Thoughts'