the burdens one carries - Printable Version

This was stupid. This was so stupid. She knew the demon, she knew he was violent, and he was so tall, one kick from those huge talons could skewer her and kill her instantly. Her ears pulled back, eyes wide with fear as she craned her neck up to look at the towering figure. She shifted uncomfortably in the mud.

She shouldn't have come. This wasn't even necessary.

No, wait, she thought to herself. If I don't do this...I'll carry around this stuff forever. Yeah, it would only get worse. Even if she didn't have to, even if she was putting herself in danger, she felt like she needed to tell Reji what she knew.

So she took a breath and swallowed her fears, speaking up loud enough for those in the tunnel to hear. "I'm Wilder, one of the Children of Rot - and also one of the Bonebound. I...I came to speak to Reji about...about Rezik. And other things. Dragon told me where you were and I made sure I wasn't followed."

Reji slipped up from her den, blinking down at the small creature before her. There was a sort of elegance to it, despite its small size--black, sleek, graceful. She herself was normally so pretty--prettier, perhaps--but now she felt a little ragged, with her caked-mud disguise matting her fur.

Reji didn't know who the Bonebound was, or were; but if the Children of Rot's leader had sent this one, and if she knew enough to ensure she wasn't being followed, well--that was good enough for her. And the mention of Rezik had her ears pricked up in an instant.

"I'm Reji. Nice to meet you, Wilder. I don't know who Bonebound are, I think? But what's this about Rezik?"

As soon as Reji stepped out of her den, Wilder's eyes widened. Oh yeah, she looked like Rezik. Not in form, but the color and the aure she gave off. Like she was old, ancient really, and so drastically different, even standing next to the demon. That was going to make this even more difficult to say.

Mostly because she didn't know how Reji would react to everything. She thought she'd been able to guess how Rezik would react to her, perhaps with gratitude that she was helping him, maybe even a friendly thanks for telling him about how he was free to do as he wished. But, instead, it was with a stiff formality and, later, anger and spite. They came from a different world then Wilder could ever imagine. That made things different.

Still, she wasn't going to turn tail. She inclined her head politely. "Nice to meet you, too. The Bonebound are, well, we're just a family. Trying to survive. But that's, um, not why I'm here." She lowered her head, ears pressed against the back of her skull. "I...I came to apologize. I'm really sorry. It's my fault that Rezik is awake and its my fault that you're in danger, as well as both of my families and so many others." She opened her mouth to speak further about where Rezik was, but stopped herself in time, only because of Aure's trust. She wanted very much to tell Reji about Astraea's demands on the Bonebound but...no. She'd done enough secret-sharing to last a life-time. Aure wouldn't want her blabbing about the state of his family, just as Dragon wouldn't want her blabbing about the secrets that the Children of Rot guarded closely.

Reji stared, for a very long moment, and she might have been thinking anything.

What she gave, however, was a weary "Well, shit." With a soft sigh she pulled herself forward and sat before Wilder, eyeing the cat with a sort of tired exasperation. There was no hostility in it, but straightforwardness, as she added--"I guess you better tell me everything."

Wilder sighed and sat down with Reji as well. This was stupid. This was so stupid. Why was she here? Reji already knew that Rezik was against her, probably - they were siblings. She knew more then Wilder, had seen more then Wilder. She probably already knew about N'chard as well.

She brought up a paw and rubbed as her face for a moment as she readied her story. "I saw a vision a while ago. At the eyes in Eridanus, of Rezik. Doing something terrible - like, really terrible. And...I don't know why I didn't see it then, that he was bad, but he was someone ancient and I was interested and followed his story from there through visions of the past. They led me to Pisces and...I saw things. About the group he was apart of, always oppressed by the Masters, and, I dunno, maybe I thought he was a victim too. But when I realized that his stone was still there, buried way beneath the ground, I thought that he might want to get out. So...I helped him. I woke up him and broke him free from his chrysalis. I think he thought I was a Master too and was initially very nice to me and the friend that helped him get free but later..."

She shivered. She took a moment to shift through what she could and couldn't tell Reji - better to just leave the Bonebound out of it. "He's working with Astraea again, but I don't think Astraea really likes him. He just needs him alive for some reason. When I saw Rezik again...he was mean and rude and he hated me for what I'd done. I was just trying to help, but I just made everything worse I think." She dipped her head. "I just...wanted to apologize for that. I shouldn't have woken him up - I should have just left him there. Dragon says that the Masters are after you now, and it's because of me that this whole mess started in the first place. I'm sorry..." She trailed off and stopped herself from doing anymore apologizing. She had a feeling that Reji wouldn't want to hear her continuously saying sorry over and over again.

Reji listened, and her mind reeled a little. She commented darkly, when Wilder spoke of Rezik being nice to her, a black-humor bitterness in her tone. "Oh, yeah, Rezik's wonderful to anyone he thinks is in power. He looks out for himself, the brown-nosing little shit. I'm guessing he turned prick after he realized you weren't his superior..?"

Reji studied the cat as she shivered, and wondered about that, but Wilder's words were rushing onward and her mind struggled to even keep up. Undoubtedly all of this conversation flowed freely with the Hive, in the background--they would hear it all, of course, though it'd be less distinct to those farther off and in Fornax--but Reji didn't mind it being overheard. They were family, after all; they were One.

Reji snorted. "No, I don't think anyone has ever liked Rezik. The Masters tolerate him because he feeds them information. Who's hiding where. Who's plotting what. They don't really care, but they have to pay lip service to loyalty, I guess." She paused, and added--"Or maybe they don't have to, but they wanted to set an example, after all the rebellion. 'This is what happens to good little creatures' sort of thing. I don't know for sure."

Reji paused again, studying Wilder as the cat got to the part about her brother turning nasty, about having woken him up. She considered this, and sighed. "I don't blame you, I guess. You didn't know any better and it woke me up, too, though I guess you didn't know that at the time. So thanks, I probably wouldn't be here otherwise." And Mother wouldn't be properly served and strengthened, she added, mentally, but she did not voice that bit of gratitude aloud.

"So, wait, was he talking about me or what? How'd you know to find me?" Reji asked, rocking back and scratching irritably at the mud caked behind one ear. "He's my brother, but I wouldn't put it past him trying to send assassins after me and shit. He's a traitor, you know. A real traitor. The rest of us just wanted to live. I had a lover," she added bluntly, not bothering to mince words--she'd retold this a few times, now, and it was beginning to lose its... not its pain, that would always linger in terrible agony, a knowledge that she would never see him again. But it had lost some of its edge, at least. It let her anger come forth to blunt her grief on her end--and sharpen it on the other. "N'chard. He was a leader, a natural-born. Kind, intelligent, strong. He listened to what everyone said. He really wanted the best for us. Rezik-..." Her breath hitched. Okay, maybe she wasn't as capable of discussing it cleanly as she'd thought, but she pressed on. "We think Rezik killed him. They went off together, he came back alone. Said one of the Overseers overheard them talking, and very tragically he'd have to take control of our group, for the greater good, and so on. The others were too grief-stricken to care. I was furious, but what could I do-? I should have killed him," she added, and that honed blade made an appearance in a flash of her eyes, a growl in her tone.

"Anyway, all this shit is his fault, not yours, kid. Don't worry about it." This was said more quietly, and as Reji calmed, she briefly studied Wilder.

She might be useful to the Hive--hell, anyone would be--but would it be a good idea to try and change the Children of Rot yet? She didn't think so. Their numbers weren't strong enough yet (whispered Mother's voice in her mind, sickly-sweet); maybe once the 'Sea Kingdom' was converted. Well, that didn't stop her asking questions, at least. "You said he's working with Astraea? Do you know what it is they're doing?" Reji asked, her face taut with worry, and with long-simmered anger.

It wasn't exactly relief that flowed through Wilder when Reji not only thanked her for waking up Rezik (and her, apparently) but told her not to worry about it. It was more like a weight being lifted. A small one at that, but to Wilder, who was carrying an enormous amount of stress for someone so carefree, it was like an entire cave system was removed from her shoulders. She breathed out a small sigh. "I'm going to be more careful in the future. Because I did wake him up and revive all this mess again. I didn't realize that he was that bad of a traitor - I thought that he really just wanted the best for the others. That's what I heard him say anyways." That meant he was a liar. It was almost out of Wilder's ability to comprehend someone that would lie, not for other's sake, but for their own selfish desires, especially if those lies hurt others or even got them killed.

"He wasn't talking about you, no. I just heard it from Dragon. I don't live here all the time - Dragon fills me in on what's going on when I do come around and he told me about you. Don't worry," she interrupted herself, ears erecting straight up for a moment, "we don't tell just anyone. We'll keep your location a secret." Her tail flicked behind her, concern etching her features. The Bonebound were protecting Rezik - sure, Astraea had threatened them with probable death in the trials if they didn't comply...but at the same time, they were harboring someone that would sell them out without a second thought. She really had put them in serious danger.

At the mention of a lover...and N'chard...Wilder froze, eyes going wide. "You were...you and N'chard.....lovers?" Oh shit. She saw the pause, the emotions that held Reji from speaking so freely about the subject and dread filled Wilder's veins. She knew N'chard. She knew him. She loved him. And I... She thought back to the labradorite stone, waiting in her den. Never hatching. One of the burdens she carried, that she'd failed as a life giver, that the child inside died - N'chard's second life had been snuffed out because of her.

Her eyes slowly drifted shut. "The vision I saw at the Eyes - where I first saw Rezik...he was with N'chard. I'm sorry I...I didn't think that you and him...y-you're right. It was Rezik that did it. Rezik killed him and left his body in the Eyes. I should have known after that that he was bad but...I really thought that N'chard...might have been wrong? And that Rezik was doing what was best. But I was so wrong. I'm so sorry." Her eyes opened for a moment, shaking her head slowly. "I could show you...if you'd like; the memory of the vision...but I understand if you would rather not. It was kind of awful."

She looked up, eyes glimmering with a complex mix of emotions that the little cat simply was not used to bearing. She looked utterly lost and overwhelmed, ears pressed back against her head, as if she were afraid. Her jaw trembled, as if bursting to tell Reji about where Rezik was so they could do something about him, but she knew...if something happened to him before Astraea retrieved him, then her family would die. "I'm sorry, I don't know what they're planning. Rezik didn't want to talk to me. But they're definitely doing something."