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Questions of Fate - Garnet-Epsilon - May 18 2020
Epsilon had quite a few things to mull over- more knowledge than it knew what to do with. The scroll they had stashed in this room had been retrieved, knowledge of paper, and the bowl of salt sat near it against the wall.
Preservation, and recordkeeping. Things that Epsilon didn't know applied to its discoveries quite yet. They did, however, hold that those notions heavily applied to their small family unit. In a way. An old system, with new adaptions and parts.
The Trials serving as a way for records of fitness to be etched into Gembound themselves, their names designating from whom they claimed some lessons and advantages... along with disadvantages.
New things and old things. An ever growing system- one that had apparently died out.
Death, something new yet old that had taken an admittedly distant member of the Sentinels, but death hadn't seemed real until right then.
Everyone else's apparent lack of emotion had made them stuff their own, but they worried over their smaller siblings. They knew that worry was pointless- what would happen would happen, at the desire of the Overseer or at the twisted hands of fate. Their half-Palefur siblings who stood at their height, death already etched into their records by someone else's mistakes. They worry more so for the one who could do nothing but stand and walk. What could Selenite Gamma do, exactly? Yes they were tenacious, but they needed more than that in these caves.
What do the Sentinels stand for, anyway?
All of these questions and wondering had eaten away at them, making them first start to pace, and then attempt to confine themselves to their warren hole, but they were soon flicking at the glass spikes they had cast again and again around it in an attempt at practice so long ago.
Feeling like they may burst, or worse, piss off their larger siblings with their incessant twitching and noise, they get to their feet once more, looking around to spot their family.
After some searching, noting the locations of its siblings and hatchmates - at least those who were present - they had simply strode out of the Tunnel.
They flag down Hemlock with a quick admission of where they were going, Epsilons face showing some level of pleading invitation, and they hoped their commander followed. Asking them to seemed.. too much. Out of line. But if they followed then Epsilon felt less bad about their need for answers.
They had questions, and as they stared at the etchings on the wall, they realized they may never get those answers. But they could try.
Right?
@Hemlocke
RE: Questions of Fate - Hemlocke - May 19 2020
No matter, though. There was plenty to work with. Sure, the pressure placed on its shoulders by Vargas's delegation was immeasurable, but no more than what the need to survive a test enforced.
Already, one of the initiates was approaching it, looking oddly pleading and cagey. Perhaps uncertain. Hemlocke'd just acknowledged the garnet with a nod, striding after it into the confines of Canis before, at last, considering: this is not to seek training. Ruby-red eyes narrowed. It is not showing initiative.
But, the little alien kept that to itself, instead chirping sharply - "Enough." - and fluttering up to a boulder to get some easy semblance of looming height. "Are you going to keep staring at that graffiti, Garnet-Epsilon?" Pointed; get to the point.
@Garnet-Epsilon
RE: Questions of Fate - Garnet-Epsilon - May 20 2020
They have to hold down some anger- Whoa, where did that come from- at the way Hemlock addresses them, but they shake themselves out, getting to their feet and offering a short nod and an apology.
"Apologies, Hemlocke, but I wanted to show you some items and knowledge I found not long ago. Courtesy of some chaos. I did not wish to show it to the others until I had approval." and they gesture at the items against the wall, before looking up at the art once more. "I also have some questions I wish to ask, if you may humor me. Pardon if I seem a bit... distracted, I've been doing a bit too much thinking."
They make themselves a small spot to sit, sweeping it absentmindedly with it's tail before settling, and eyeing their... parent. "My first is about death. First of many, but I feel I need a proper grasp of what I'm thinking in order to fully function alongside the newer others of the cave as an infiltrator." Giving this whole endeavor a bit of a spin, making it seem like it does have something to do with their training may help get the other to calm down... and humor its more probing questions.
Hopefully.
@Hemlocke
RE: Questions of Fate - Hemlocke - May 20 2020
Regardless, it stayed, albeit eying the garnet a fair bit more critically. Another warning, "thinking is a slippery slope, Garnet-Epsilon." Eyes softened, only for that statement. It didn't look at the items along the wall for longer than a second.
At least… the spin on these burning questions somewhat parsed as common sense. Being too distracted would make for a poor faux identity. By death, though — ? "This about the cat," Hemlocke intoned, shifting in place again but otherwise not directly impeding the garnet's incoming questions.
@Garnet-Epsilon
RE: Questions of Fate - Garnet-Epsilon - May 20 2020
"Commander Hemlocke," they bob their head in apology, parroting the phrase to show that they had heard.
Epsilon watches the quick glance at their prizes - No attention, no problem, then? - and they look at their parent... Commander, and nod along to the warning. "I understand the risks, but my mind is my best asset at the moment, although I don't draw near to your expertise. Hence me wanting to ask you to... show me how to clear my mind, as it is."
A sigh, and they look up at the graffiti for a second, as if using the art to draw in their thoughts. "It's tangentially about Palefur," they sigh again, and then look across Canis to eye their home Tunnel. "I have questions about her Gem, and the fate of her products within the Sentinels. My hatchmates. I wonder if I should help them succeed, or leave them to rot in someone else's failure. I can say it bothers me to know that her death is seen as their problem, in a way. Many modern Gembound," here they pause, glancing up at their commander, "at least from what I've observed from recent events here in Canis, are very co-operative. I saw pairs leave the cave together, and some apparently randomly approach others and interact." and now time to get to the actual point, "I know the Sentinels my age have yet to fully prove themselves, including myself, but I wonder what would happen to our Gems should we fail."
"I feel I need to know in order to behave properly among the others. To convince them."
@Hemlocke
RE: Questions of Fate - Hemlocke - May 22 2020
The beginning of this conversation was about Palefur, anyways - and it was a flurry of questions, all with the capacity to be emotionally charged. Hemlocke answered them with cool logic: "her death means nothing. She was an asset of our Overseer that chose to venture into Hydra, and now she is dead. Stones do not survive the Trials." It paused, adjusting its wings. "It will not play a part in my judgement of your fellow initiates; they were not from her stone. Focus on yourself as the orthoclase has, Epsilon - do not assist them unless it would tangibly benefit you."
Ah, the spawn of today.
"If it would benefit you and give you knowledge you did not have before, interact with them," Hemlocke intoned, growing harsh, "but, do not be swayed into the inefficiency of casual relationships. You do not have that luxury yet, Garnet-Epsilon."
Should they fail - "you best not fail, for both of our sakes. Surely you heard our Overseer? If you aren't dead, then you will be given to the Doctor for his research."
Clearing its mind, right, Hemlocke belatedly drove itself back on track, softening slightly, "with practice, it becomes easy to wear false identities that aren't yours. As will 'clearing your mind.' Stomp all of that down with cold, hard logic and leave little to think about."
@Garnet-Epsilon
RE: Questions of Fate - Garnet-Epsilon - May 27 2020
They hybrid listens intently, a deep seated anxiety they didn't know they had fading away as they're told that Palefur's failure did not doom their hatchmates. Knowing that stones do not survive the Trials is also a twisted sense of comfort, in it's own way, knowing that Hydra is a finality that no-one can escape.
"Understood, Commander," they reply easily to the recommendation to mind their own business- not they will ultimately follow it, but the advice is solid. "Casual relationships seem a waste of time- at least to me," it flicks its ears back nd forth, seemingly trying to parse it's next words-"but I feel that relationships in the Sentinels are not casual in application. I will only help those who would benefit me, but if I can manage to get a future sort of... promise, would that operate the same way?" another question, almost asking for permission to use the tactic mentioned.
But the promise of more freedom in the future gave it.. some pause, as did the pressure not to fail. So, they reply with what they've been telling themselves until now- "Failure is not an option to me. While I understand the importance of the Doctors work, and appreciate his contributions, I have more to offer everyone than being one of his experiments."
"Logic," it sighs, and then tilts its head to look out across Canis, "Logic applies differently to us and them. That's part of what has me concerned- they do not operate on logic at all times. I suppose it shall come with practice, but I worry for my inefficiency at my first attempt. I have..." here, a pause, and they turn their head to loom at their prizes against the wall once more.
"I have not directly interacted with anyone within view of other Gembound, especially other Sentinels. I figure marking myself as an unattached unknown is better, unless I am mistaken?"
Epsilon's panic about existential crisis has been shoved onto the backburner, for now... getting some sort of answer allowed it that much luxury to compartmentalize, and not it wanted answers of a different kind. True, most of these may be answered in training, but and step ahead of the others is a step in the right direction... right?
@Hemlocke
RE: Questions of Fate - Hemlocke - May 27 2020
"If you found leverage to ensure that it is kept, certainly," Hemlocke replied drily, "that being blackmail, magical prowess, deception..." Ruby-red eyes measured its spawn as they had many times before, "if you lack in magic, it would be best to make it seem as if you don't. Clever illusions would assist you in such a thing. You would not want to establish yourself as an immediate threat, but something that could potentially become one, if targeted." Dangerous, but not so intensely as - say - that orthoclase.
"Or, if the situation calls for it," (and if pride does not get in your way, Epsilon.) "you could appear weak, helpless - suitable for information-gathering, too. Being next-to-useless comes with trustworthiness. To these newer beings, anyways." It would not get away with that with older blood.
To Epsilon's declaration, Hemlocke offered a brief, "good."
On to logic, and the lack thereof, then... "practice with loners, then. Those children and those persistently on their own. Craft sob stories and engineer situations to your benefit. Keep your interactions brief and unmemorable, and you likely won't be remembered." (Or they may wind up dead...)
Alas, "we would discuss this further in a proper training exercise - but there's your launchpad."
@Garnet-Epsilon
RE: Questions of Fate - Garnet-Epsilon - May 31 2020
The implication that it lacks in anything makes it's small mane prickle, and it suppresses an expression of petulant anger at the thought. It's not like they can display a... lack of something, and it's more recent feats of magic seem to fall more into subterfuge anyway. Humming along as Hemlocke further explains the balance of threat verses potential ally - and seems to have a very sudden thought, when Orthoclase is mentioned. "I cannot be seen with them, ever," they state, almost as if that had not occurred to them before. "That would mark me irrevocably as one not to be trusted in the eyes of those we may need stones or information from."
A beat, and they consider the damsel in distress route, "I suppose pride means nothing when it comes to the wellbeing of the Sentinels, does it not? I'd be willing to do whatever it takes to acquire what is asked of my by my superiors," Especially you or Desert Rose, being left tactfully unsaid and unimplied.
"But, besides that, I appreciate you humoring my small panic, Commander. I was worried I'd gone too far down that slope." a small apology wound in there, in the way it drops its ears and tilts its head awkwardly down, looking like it's young self after bothering Delta too much or tripping the Selenite sibling of theirs. "I will take any advice given to me by those I know to be right," they nod, almost reciting that statement like they'd rehearsed it before picking their ears up again, and affixing Hemlocke with a determined stare. "Any step forward I can take, I shall. Would it be alright if I were to ask... a few more questions?" the piebald hybrid almost trails off at the end, before adding with a new breath, "I do not wish to waste your time or interfere with your duties."
@Hemlocke
RE: Questions of Fate - Hemlocke - May 31 2020
"Take pride in the Sentinels, and do good work." At least Garnet-Epsilon understood that it would do whatever was asked of it.
Ruby-red eyes narrowed imperceptibly at the appreciation, but Hemlocke passed it over. Let it resolve that problem on its own. The odd alien remained in place, only a shift of the ear to indicate that they were still listening despite scanning their surroundings. Even against the wall, they were quite out in the open.
"If you've questions, then ask," it chirped, and added a moment later, "then, we'll run through an exercise that you can employ when you have no other tasks."
@Garnet-Epsilon