Now you'll never be lonely - Printable Version

Catalyst had been on high alert for the past week. She came to and from the maze Mother lie in, carrying pelts and whatever else she could find with scraps of warmth. Her eyes were pinpoints, and her claws flexed rhythmically. Twitchy. In, and out. Muscles flashed beneath the patches of glassy Mother's warmth only served to make her more anxious. More afraid. She could not lose this. She could not lose her family. She seemed almost robotic, acting on compulsion. But in the midst of her panicked routine, she made a detour. Straight for Mother.

She ignored the praetors and workers she passed by. Focused. The cold gnawed at her limbs, but Catalyst had little thought for it. By the time Catalyst arrived at Mother's cave, she looked disheveled. She had been disheveled the whole time. Catalyst's side's heaved. The pelts she kept with her were missing fur in patches, and half wet with melted snow. Her eyes were wild, but there was an unbreakable will in there. A determination.

"Mother,"Catalyst began. She sighed at the sight of her. Of it. Like the fungi infested form of Mother were as nostalgic and warm as the feeling one got after seeing a long lost sibling. Her concern and fear at it's twisted form had vanished a long time ago. "I need to be able to protect us. Our family. Too many want to harm us." Her claws clicked nervously. She padded up to Mother.

If she could, if she were not stopped, she would rest her snout on Mother's own chitinous one. Her mind had flicked through various options to keep Mother safe. Had been, for the past week. And it had settled on one option. "Please, allow me to protect us. Allow me to do so."

Catalyst's magicka flowed from her, into Mother. But what came back was dread. The sensation sliced through Mother's warmth. Something was wrong. No. Something had gone wrong.
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The enormous queen dipped her head down--quite far--the strands of white fungus stretching to accomodate the movement. It was meant to meet Catalyst's touch.

"Of course you may," came the silent speech, whispered mind-to-mind. Mother herself did not speak: insectoid eyes stared down, facets mirroring the crystalline room. But her thoughts came, with a soft click of her mandibles. "I have had one of my elder children... come to me. He has warned of others. Preparing an assault."

Silence stretched on; cold air, simmering mist. At last, Mother addressed what Catalyst had tried to do. "That magic... will not touch me," her thoughts whispered. "But we are already linked, my child."

Had she recognized the magic--or Catalyst's intentions? Faint reassurance--and faint reproach--trickled through; the Mother pulled up, staring down. Was it imperious? Sympathetic? For a moment, nothing came along that link; it was a long heartbeat moment of emptiness.

Then--it came back. Forgiveness; reassurance. She knew Catalyst had meant no harm... "Take your sister, Bone," and Catalyst would know, at once, that Bone was being informed even as she was--that wings were unfurling, scaled length uncurling--"and wait, somewhere distant. Hidden. Far in the caves, but not here. It will be soon, now; have enough... food, water, and warmth, to last you. If I need you... to strike at those who would harm our nest... from the outside; I will call upon you. But for now... stay out of harm's way. I do not think it will be needed. Remember: Mother loves you."

The Queen stared down, empty-eyed, at Catalyst.

Perhaps this news explained the recent sounds that had come through the tunnels; cracking, crunching, strange and echoing falls of rocks in the tunnel dark. New construction work--but for what purpose? Mother hadn't explained, and it did not come along the link, yet--not hidden, merely... unimportant. "Can you do this for me?"

After so long being linked with Mother, linked with her siblings, the silence...it was deafening. As much as she could, Catalyst curled her body tight. An uneasy hiss slipped from her. "Mother," She whispered. But when the love came back, be it faint, Catalyst plunged back into it wholly. She'd become addicted to the link. The constant closeness to her siblings. And when Mother looked down on Catalyst again, she realized she could not read what she felt in that moment.

She was, however, eager to please. Eager to make up for her foolish mistake. She listened intently to Mother, not once planning to interrupt. Everything Mother said. It had her more on edge. The thought, the Idea, to link once again briefly. But Catalyst beat it down, before the thought could develop beyond more than a passing blip in her brain. "Yes," Catalyst said at last, speaking aloud. "Ive been planning already to do something--to help out in some way. I've been moving my supplies, dousing the flames I keep." Catalyst nodded to herself. "Me and Bone--we will not let them touch you." Violence flashed in her eyes, and her lips peeled from her teeth. "They will not touch our family." But when she tilted her head back, gazed at Mother's massive head, the snarl was gone. Replaced with a gentle smile. Catalyst smiled. "I love you too, Mother."

Catalyst was silent. It was a brief beat of turbulent thoughts. "And, Mother," Catalyst began again. She shook her head. "I...i-it was a mistake. A lapse in judgement. I..I thought somehow we could grow closer. I-I thought it'd allow me to..." Catalyst paused. To what? She could not control the praetors, and linking with Mother would not stop the invasion. No. Mother knew what to do. She should always trust Mother. The raptor ducked her head and growled to clear her mind of the thoughts. "Nevermind. Foolishness."

Catalyst's downturned eyes flicked to her stone. She dug her talon into the ground. Her talon glowed. Briefly. But her nerves interfered with her magic. Mother was right there. After the massive mistake she made, she found it difficult to concentrate on her magic. And, ultimately, she gave up. She watched as the glow faded. Then, she turned to face Mother once again. "I won't let you down." She said, confident.

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There was silence, for a beat, as the Queen peered down at Catalyst.

"We already share that link," came the crooning response, a whispered thought only mind-to-mind. "There is nothing hidden. There is only..."

As the great Queen stared down at Catalyst, silent (but her thoughts were warm, her emotion was warm, her regard for the raptor was love), a metaphor began to form.

A spiderweb, stretching out throughout the caves: and at its very center, the matriarch in her web, the queen Mother. This image hung gossamer in Catalyst's mind, each strand glistening. Along this web, there was constant movement: one thread would vibrate, and then one on the opposite end; a little thread toward the middle shook. And at its center, Mother listened. Mother watched. Mother knew.

The image began to shift, slightly. Each line of web shifted, and became another creature of Mother's family.

Catalyst was one such thread: a little strand near to the heart, to the center of the web. Others were the Praetors, the Cleaners; still others, farther out (and their vibrations quiet) were the Lessers carrying Mother's blessing throughout the caves. And each one's every thought, every emotion, every vibration was known to her; she was the heart of them all. The heart of their neatly-ordered family.

For a moment, Mother lifted the veil: she allowed Catalyst to truly see as she saw, with nothing--nothing--held back from her. That warmth was certainly still there, but beyond it were a thousand movements, a hundred voices: the hunger of a distant Crystalwing bat, the determination of an Orion's Scale fleeing a larger predator. The watchful eye of Pallas, somewhere in the snow; this was dimmer than the rest, as his link was not yet truly reestablished. Bone's gaze as she swept over the vast expanse of Ursa. There was a family of infected Wind Ants, carefully orchestrating the movement of a damaged nest through Eridanus, and each of the several thousand kept a constant open link to Mother. A Dragonbat, hunting prey, intent on feeding the tiny node established in Monoceros. Praetors guarding the various tunnels, and Cleaners digging pits with careful shearing of their mandibles.

This was what it meant to be Mother: what it truly meant for the link to be open. Nothing had been hidden, no; but to be connected to the web this strongly, without the mitigating filters Mother provided... it was overwhelming.

"You may learn to reach along this link... whenever you wish it. To touch upon, and contact, any of your siblings." The link was always there, after all: it was a hive-mind. But as Mother gently swept the curtains back closed over the myriad thousands of minds, it became clear that the only thing Mother truly did with this link was to filter it.

And if Catalyst wished, she could seek it back out at any time; she could tap into those voices and feelings and that sensory feedback, and seek a specific mind.

"Do you now understand?" Mother's voice asked, gently, as the cacophony again dimmed into a background hum--as the vibrating web again fell still.