i need someone to look into my eyes and tell me
The arena went quiet.

Vivilene stuck her head out and sniffed the air.

She could still smell the blood, and she could still hear the low murmur of the other medics behind her. The music had died-- only briefly --as the fighters were herded out and the next ones were preparing to go out. In this little interlude, the hybrid went skittering out of the arena entirely and shook herself out once she'd left.

It was... too crowded, backstage. Too much for her liking. A lot of strangers being a loud and asking a lot of questions wasn't anything Vivilene could handle even on a good day, and so far, this had been a great day. She was forming quiet sentences and people were (partially) listening to her. Her spells had messed up, but for the most part, Vivilene was in her element. She just needed some time to settle.

And what better time to settle than when it was just a little quieter, while the smell of food drowned out the smell of copper?

Hooves clicked quietly as she took a hot dog from the concession stand with a muted little "thank you," to the creature manning it and trotted up to the audience's seating area. While sitting was a challenge for her at the best of times (with two torsos, that is), Vivilene took comfort in squirreling her and her hot dog away into one of the back seats and curling up into herself.

Just a little break. That's all.

"girl you know you gotta watch your health"

@Thalia

It took her a minute to realize who she was looking at. She was sat half-huddled a little higher than midway up in the stone stands, her mind completely elsewhere, so that her eyes trailed along with Vivilene blindly for a moment. The beautiful hues of purple went unseen, until her brain at last registered, and she blinked. Oh-! That's Vivilene! There was a clatter of cloven hooves as she scrambled upright--dropping her drink accidentally. "Ah shit," she hissed, glancing down with a grimace, but what was done was done--so she shrugged and just left it behind.

It took her a few minutes to pick her way across the arena, around its circular rows of benches to the other side where Vivilene--now up high, near the back--was seated. Thalia didn't know if Vivilene was at all looking her way, but she periodically offered a bright smile and a rather exuberant wave up her way, though she had to watch her step rather than Vivilene herself. There was a lot of trash already left around up here, so that she picked her way carefully over popcorn and half-eaten, abandoned corn dogs.

Perfectly good food, she thought, and picked one up as she went, chewing on it absently. (Thalia could be sort of disgusting.)

By the time she reached Vivilene, at least, she was empty-handed; her previous thousand-yard thoughtful stare had turned into a broad grin. She was genuinely happy to see family here, though-... the thought did occur to her, as she came closer: if what she'd seen had bothered her, would Vivilene be okay-? The smile faltered only a little at the thought, but she forced it back as best she could.

"Hey!" she called up, speeding into a brief jog... or was that a trot? She hustled her way in a clicking scramble over the last few benches. "Vivilene, hey! What's up? How're you doing? Man, isn't this shit crazy?" She gestured out, wider-eyed, over the bloodied arena as a whole. It wasn't the sort of place, in retrospect, she'd expect to see the gentle faun, and so she scrunched up her nose with a quizzical smile as she looked back to her... well, whatever the relation was. It was definitely something. Half-sisters, at least... sort of?

"What're you doing here?" she asked--but it was a friendly question, and hardly a demand, as she scooted over to take a seat close by, uninvited.

@Vivilene

i need someone to look into my eyes and tell me
Thalia, half-sister, half-aunt, all family, picked her way up towards Vivilene and Vivilene watched with round eyes, gnawing into the bread of her hot dog. When Thalia waved she waved back, albeit a little carefully, as if she were afraid she were waving at the wrong person.

And, ahh, that was a lot of words coming at her. Vivilene chewed slowly, patting the space next to her a half-second before Thalia took the seat anyway and scooched up to her. Vivilene, meanwhile, peeled off a piece of (uneaten) hot dog roll, smeared yellow and red with sauces, and offered it to Thalia.

"Hello," she began, sounding the syllables out. Talking was easier when she was at a little whisper, and whispering was a lot easier when your sibling-aunt's ear was close to your face. "I... haven't been watching."

It was shockingly difficult to see who was attacking what when someone backstage was bleeding out. She pointed down towards one of the arena walls, murmuring, "I-I've been in there... um, healing people when they don't..." ... die? Fall asleep? "...turn into rocks."

A pointed tooth drove into the sausage, and it snapped in her mouth. Vivilene chewed as she wiped the miasma of sauces away from her cheek with the heel of her palm. Judging from the wounds she'd seen, at least, it... did seem like it was a little wild, regardless. One came in burnt, another needed stitches in their chest-- at least in most fights, they could heal themselves. It was a lot of work.

Though, now, she was side-eyeing Thalia a little worriedly. "Are you-- are you... fighting?"

"girl you know you gotta watch your health"

@Thalia

Thalia blinked. Healing? "Cool..." she said, staring at Vivilene. She waited, though--taking the piece of roll with a grin and a nod of genuine thanks, popping it into her mouth and happily chewing it up as Vivilene quietly explained. She leaned a little closer to hear her over the din, nodding along, a little. At the question, though, she blinked and pulled back, looking at Vivilene with first a shocked expression, and then one of hilarity--"Fight?! Oh, hell no--I didn't even think of that!" The very idea was hilarious to her--her, fight!? It wasn't that she was laughing at Vivilene; her laughter was bright, spontaneous, surprised. "Nah, what am I gonna do, talk at them? You saw my magic; I can make little lights. That's still about it."

She sat for a moment in silence, chewing and swallowing the last of the bun, but her eyes sparkled with interest as she peered back toward her family. "What about you, though-? Healing? How's that work?" she asked, and her eyes locked riveted on Vivilene's. She'd never really heard of that before--not past vague descriptions of some magic--and the idea of using magic so strong it made one a dedicated healer (there to administer medical attention and nothing else!) was fascinating to her. Unless, of course, Vivilene meant, like... bandages, and stuff?

Thalia didn't know, but her hooves bobbed in the air with interest--and for now, the sight of a monster crushing a cat in her jaws was blissfully forgotten.

@Vivilene

i need someone to look into my eyes and tell me
Thalia seemed to find it hilarious, but Vivilene was letting out a little breath of relief. A lot of her siblings (particularly the younger ones) seemed to be fighting, or training to fight, it seemed-- and what was Vivilene doing, other than gardening? Not much-- except for this. At least the gardening had come into some use.

Like a disgruntled cockatiel, Vivilene's upper torso swayed briefly with thought. "Maybe you could... shine lights in their eyes," she smiled weakly. A joke! Thalia liked jokes, didn't she? ... she was laughing already, at least.

Vivilene was already feeling a little more comfortable, at least. Not quite in her element as she had been backstage, but comfortable. She had family, and they were eating together, and it was nice and quiet. She had the chance to pause and think over her responses in peace, without the anxiety of strangers staring at her, urging a reply from her.

Soon, though, one hand was going into the white-silver satchel tied around her back. "Sometimes magic... um, I make water, to clean everything up. There's magic to-- to sterilize wounds, too. That's, um, that's basically-- you sort of--" a pause, a breath, and Vivilene took out a handful of small, black seeds. "It stops the wounds from... getting worse? Sometimes they'll get really... yucky, if you don't."

Her thumb brushed gently against the seeds before she offered them out for Thalia to see, her voice soft. "If you're hurt, and you eat these, they... soothe the pain, a little. It um... makes it easier to rest and sleep." Then, they were put back before they spilled everywhere.

"There's other-- things, you can use, um... there's these roots in my garden, and if you crush them all up they make this kind of... goop. It cools down, um-- like-- like, your hand, if you burn it on the fire."

That was a lot of talking. Her voice had quickly gone hoarse, and Vivilene was starting to regret not getting a drink along with her hot dog. Instead of excusing herself and getting some water, Vivilene decided to try to soothe her throat with more hot dog.

As you do.

"girl you know you gotta watch your health"

@Thalia

Her answering laugh was genuine--"I could," she agreed, good-naturedly, and shook her head with a grin: "but I don't think it'd end all that well." Teeth crushed into pelt, blood spilling, the crunch of bone- Her smile faltered, and she glanced away for a moment, hands smoothing over the black fur of her thighs as she forced cheer back onto her face. Forced her attention to what Vivilene was telling her.

That's some shit I'm not gonna forget, she thought to herself, but luckily, Vivilene's conversation was actually interesting, and in seconds the memory had passed in favor of Thalia's full attention on the seeds.

"Seeds-?" she asked, curiously, peering down at them. Black specks, really. "How'd you figure this stuff out?" she asked, and there was very real interest in it. Her mind was wandering over the possibilities: had Vivilene just... started eating everything she saw-? Or was there a maybe more reliable method to her learning process?

Nose scrunched up--one hand itching idly at the other forearm--as she tried to imagine the... "root goop." (And undoubtedly, if she hadn't spilled her fucking drink all over the other stands, she'd have offered hers to Vivilene but--oops.) "Can I ask, like--what took you down this path? I mean, to be a medic," Thalia clarified, with a quizzical smile. "I mean... don't get me wrong--it fits. If that makes sense? You've always been really nice," she explained, "and I'm guessing nobody wants a jerk of a medic, but what uhh..." Fingers scratched face, a bashful grin crossing Thalia's features. "Man, for someone who makes up poetry and songs, I'm pretty shit at words, sometimes."

It was an idle observation, self-mocking humor, and Thalia didn't even realize that it might be a bit of a stinging remark in Vivilene's presence; she never really thought about Vivilene's own struggles with language. It wasn't that she ignored it--it was that it had never affected their exchanges in a bad way. She accepted that about Vivilene, it was just a quirk to her, like any other. Hopefully, the deer-taur wouldn't take it badly. Hell, Thalia was still gesturing, still trying to find a phrase that fit. "But like... what drew you do it? I guess? Why'd medicine interest you, in particular?" Curiosity lit her eyes, and thankfully (or maybe not) there was no arena battle this conversation was distracting her from, because she'd have missed the entire thing.

@Vivilene

i need someone to look into my eyes and tell me
Vivilene smiled empathetically, quietly, waiting for Thalia to finish before even mulling over her questions and a response to them. First came, "words are hard," a gentle admission. Finding meanings and what you wanted to say in your own head was easy, and passing those abstract kind of concepts onto someone with magic took some practice, but was relatively easy, too. Articulating those words into a sentence someone else can understand, however, was difficult-- Vivilene was unsure, no matter how many words she learned the meanings of, learned how to pronounce, gradually introduced into her vocabulary, that anyone would ever truly understand anything she meant unless she shared the thoughts they stemmed from directly.

She'd accepted this a long time ago. No one else seemed to worry and fret over words the same way that she did; no one else brought up how much it hurt the heart to know what you wanted to say, but were unable to make the other person understand. It was a truth that Vivilene faced on her own-- another thing she was anxious over, afraid of, in a very long list. Something she was overcoming. She'd come very far and that was something to be proud of.

But, none of this was truly articulated to Thalia. Vivilene had a thread of normalcy grasped between her fingers and she refused to let go-- and she had the mind to realise, and accept, that Thalia had not called herself 'shit with words' because she wanted to ignite a debate about who had it worse, or even that she'd meant to offend. Thalia was just talking, as family did, and as family, Vivilene listened, and she comforted.

"I understand what you mean," the hybrid murmured reassuringly-- then, a pause, thinking. "There might be... some medics out there who are jerks?" Vivilene wouldn't know; no one had been necessarily intentionally mean to her before-- but she had to assume that people were always mixed bags, no matter the profession.

She was offering the hot dog out again and wiping mustard off her cheek. "It's, um... mostly luck, and trial and error-- I found out about the seeds from lessers, though," and she smiled a little, with restrained pride. She didn't want to seem arrogant, but she did feel signiciantly clever. "I'm not sure how they found out, but-- when they're recovering, or anxious, they'll eat these pretty little red flowers. It.. it still took a little while for me to realise it was the-- seeds, and not the flowerhead itself, but--" she'd eaten a great many of icky flowers in her time, now "--but, it helps. Um."

Tap, tap, tap, her fingers rasped against her own knuckles. She was regretting for a second time not having a drink to sip from, or at least to swish around in the cup between her palms for a moment's distraction. "I mean, um... I've always wanted to help people. When I was small, I was-- really scared of everything, and I cried a lot. And it's-- you know, um... living like that, it's..."

Tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. Not discomfort, but that struggle with articulating. "It's not... nice, you-- you know? I still don't... really know, why I'm like that, or... or how to really even fix it, um... but the idea of, like-- of other people feeling like that? It makes me really sad, y-you know?"

Her fingers bent, curling into her palms as she continued fidgeting through her sentences. "Healing, and using magic and stuff is-- is something I'm good at. Making people feel better, and-- and knowing when they're hurt, or scared, that they're not alone. Um. Just... knowing how to... deal with it? And-- and helping people like me understand, and cope, and things."

She paused. "Does-- does... any of that make sense?"

"girl you know you gotta watch your health"

@Thalia

'Words are hard' didn't garner so much as a second thought--just an agreeing grin and a somewhat bashful nod as she struggled to find her own. To her, it was conversation--come and gone--and the topic had moved on moments later. Words were a pain in the ass, sometimes, and later Thalia might reflect on the conversation the two had shared today and realize (in mild horror) her faint insensitivity. Right now, though, most of her mind was stuck on trying not to think about flat teeth crushing into a tawny-grey pelt...

The idea of jerky medics had her nose wrinkling up again, a sort of scrunchy, thoughtful expression. "Mmmmaybe?" she said, and shrugged at Vivilene, expression relaxing to open and happy. "I'd say I haven't met any jerky ones but I've hardly met any medics, so that's not--really a high bar," she went on. The offered hot dog offered a brief shake of head and hand, and a "I'd need a drink, first. I'm 'bout to get hiccups at this rate. I spilled mine," (cue a wistful glance back across the arena at all that Thalia had lost and left behind).

Then, she fell silent: her attention swept back to Vivilene, curious again. The dryad explained how she'd discovered the properties of the little red flowers and their tiny black seeds--and why she'd started searching to begin with. Thalia hadn't expected the turn of mood, either. It wasn't a bad thing, but it was sad, and for a minute she forgot they were at a loud, bloodied arena watching fights to the death below. Instead she was thinking about Vivilene when she'd been young: a scared kid, afraid of everything, crying alone in the trees.

It was sad as fuck, actually.

And the more Vivilene explained, the more touched Thalia actually felt. She was almost lost in the ideas, breathless with the intensity of the feeling, drifting from Vivilene's words to related sad scenarios. And when Vivilene paused, and asked her question, Thalia's attention snapped back.

She offered out a hand--as if to take Vivilene's own, if she allowed; a quiet and warm hand-holding, reassuring.
"No, it--makes total sense," she answered, all previoius loud bravado replaced by a quieter, more solemn softness. "Like-... I guess, why would anyone think to themselves, 'I need to help others,' if they haven't experienced terrible things themselves? You know what it's like--that makes sense. I think it takes a lot of--selflessness? Kindness, to put yourself out there for other people. So they don't have to experience the same thing. It's really good of you," she added, with a gentle smile at Vivilene.

Because--it was.

She couldn't imagine the work that must go into finding and perfecting the medicines. The courage to walk up to injured monsters like those in the ring, and offer aid. To stick one's hands in blood and mix up tea for murderers, or whatever it was Vivilene did down there. And for once, Thalia felt... ashamed. Not deeply, but she felt more keenly how all she did was lounge around the family camps drunk, singing and hitting a drum to an off-key tune, loud and cheerful. What did she actually offer anyone-? And here came quiet Vivilene, shy and unassuming, doing far more good and more work than she ever had.

Maybe it was time to start doing something with her life.

"Honestly, I didn't know you'd become a medic, but I think it's really brave of you," she started, offering up a filtered version of her own thoughts aloud. "Like, some of those things down there? Big. But I bet they're glad to have someone there to give them... I don't know, peace? Help?" She glanced down at the arena, and back at Vivilene again, a little wider-eyed, serious. "I know I would be. That's really cool," she finished, and wished she were a little more eloquent--a little more able to express her admiration... no, her thanks--for Vivilene's kindness in the world.

@Vivilene