Even though he averted his eyes from her, he could feel her watching him. But her gaze wasn't hard, nor was it piercing or painful or with intent. It was just barely the breath of a sensation, barely there, and he wanted to look back up into her gaze - her single eye, and the bright gem that occupied her other eye socket, such a perfect imperfection - but he couldn't muster the courage. Instead he listened to the lilt of her voice spin through the air, reassuring him in his bravery, and how he was brave for being alone all the time. Except even as she spoke this, he wanted to defy her. He knew the farce behind this ploy of his. I'm not brave for being alone. It's just an unfortunate circumstance. He hadn't started alone. He had his brother, but where was Faelon now?

He was alone, but it wasn't what he wanted. What she said was true, he knew it because he lived it. But he distracted himself from it. The rocks never spoke to him, but they never made him feel alone, either. They just distracted him from the reality of his missing brother. They distracted him from the reality of the big white dog not being around to mother him, and from the fear he felt about leaving this place of safety. He wasn't brave. He was far from brave. He was too much of a coward to say it, though - so ultimately, cowardice would paint him as brave. What a joke.

He wanted deeply to admit that he didn't like being alone either, but that would no longer make him brave, and he had to be brave for her. "That's right. I'm very brave." Bartos said quietly, and flicked his eyes back up to her, smiling. "It's okay. You don't have to be brave, I can be brave enough for the both of us! You don't have to be alone." He added, and excitement crawled through his nerves but he had to resist the urge to jump to his paws again. "Because I'll be with you! And I'm brave. That'll make you brave, right?" Bartos was no fool. He'd heard the melancholy in her voice, be it forged of guilt for her actions or truth behind her fear of loneliness he didn't know, but he knew it was there. It cracked at his heart, and he knew then that he wanted to chase it away. If she believed that he was brave, then he would be, for her - if only to make her brave too.

She made eye contact with her clever cat who looked up at her with such open admiration and affection, and her heart lurched in her chest. "I- no," She said, guilt-stricken and still raw, and she winced, because it negated Bartos' lovely words. She saw that look falter, and she stuttered, "I mean, I can't-"

She just kept digging herself deeper and deeper, didn't she? Hastily she looked away, ashamed of herself. "I wouldn't make a good friend to you, Bartos." She was rude, bossy, selfish, and pushing affection where it wasn't wanted. She was horrible.

Why was she acting this way? Ever since they had woken up she was just making horrible mistake after mistake, acting before thinking in an entirely selfish way. Why couldn't she act as she did with her little Pounce? Why couldn't she be giving and wise like she wanted to be?

She felt open and confused and tangled, like she was shaking the bedcovers of her personality and finding rotten things and cobwebs underneath.

"This is how I speak."

The cat flicked just the very tip of his tail, first in anticipation, then in concern. She refused his offer without so much as a second thought, and he wondered if it was because she needed to be alone for some reason - his mind too innocent to assume otherwise, compounded by her follow up about not being a good friend. His brows knitted in confusion over her claim. She'd been a perfectly fine friend, what would make her think that she wasn't?

Then it dawned on him that maybe the problem wasn't her, maybe the problem was him, and she was subtly trying to escape his offering. His brows furrowed even further. Did she see through his farce? Did she know that he wasn't brave? He could feel his heart quaking with sudden apprehension, and a feeling of betrayal - no, he couldn't feel that way! His good, sweet, kind friend wouldn't think that way about him. Would she? Desperation pushed the thought out of his mind - maybe if he appealed to her he'd convince her otherwise.

"You already are!" Bartos countered, sitting up in search of her gaze, deep blue eyes rolling over her own bright, warm face. "You're one of the best friends I ever had." He blinked. "I like you a lot." The cat's whiskers twitched with nervousness, seeking her reaction. Then every possibility came rushing at him at once - her turning away, her exposing his cowardice, her leaving. He tightened his lips and dropped his gaze to his paws, feeling heat accumulate in his cheeks.

@Clover

The two were silent for a while, each contemplating their own issues and worries. As the silence stretched, she felt more and more like the awful friend she had named herself as; she should face Bartos and be clear, she should just take herself away and spare her clever cat her awful company. She found herself frowning in worry, biting her lip.

Then Bartos broke the silence. She turned to look at Bartos again, their earnest feelings laid bare. "Really?" She breathed, feeling tense. "You don't think I'm rude a-and bossy and forward?" Her eye searched the cat's face, seeing the twitch of their whiskers and how they suddenly looked at their paws, uncomfortable. Her heart reeled in her chest.

Was her clever cat lying to make her feel better? She kept looking at them, trying to find something in their expression to tell her otherwise. What else could it be?

"I have made you embarrassed," She said, barely more than a whisper. "I should go."

"This is how I speak."

Something in the doe's voice suggested that she didn't believe him entirely, or at least she hadn't been expecting his words. If she'd been stringing him up because he wasn't good enough, then she wouldn't be surprised about what he said, would she? That made sense. He couldn't help the small smile on his lips that tugged ever wider, and he raised his head to peer back up at her, big blue searching for the light yellow of her eyes. What did she mean, rude, bossy, forward? "No!" He blurted, smile turning down into a look of deep concern. Why would she ever think that way of herself? She certainly wasn't - had somebody told her that she was? Well, anyways, he liked it because she was brave enough to do things that he'd be too shy to do. So she was brave in her own way, and that was just fine. I'll have to tell her that.

Yet she insisted that she had done wrong, especially in embarrassing him, which caused the cat to utter a short, nervous laugh. "It's not your fault! I get embarrassed easy! I was afraid I said the wrong thing because... because... well, I didn't want you to not like me... I don't think you're any of those things! I think you're the opposite." He explained quickly, looking around as if there would be something that would help him explain his words, but really it was all coming from the heart. This wasn't like explaining rocks or anything - he had to dredge up the feelings inside of him without example. "You're very nice and warm, and I liked it when you kissed my forehead, it just startled me a little, but its okay!" Bartos nodded and laughed again.

For the most part though, and he hadn't realized it, but his paw had extended out to touch her leg as if in some subtle effort to keep her grounded in case she decided to leave. He didn't want her to go, especially now that he had just barfed all his feelings at her. "Please don't leave. It's hard being brave all the time." He admitted, flattening his ears.

"Oh Bartos," She said, her heart a tangled, snarled mess. She was happy, confused, regretful of herself and shivering all at once, and she felt so strange. She found herself biting her lip again. "How could I not like you? I adore you, clever cat." She said frankly, frowning slightly. "I..." She swallowed.

"I normally - I don't act like this normally, I promise. I normally am very polite and not bossy or rude, and I don't know why I'm acting like this." She said, frustration leaking out in her voice. "And I thought-" She blushed. "I thought you didn't like my kisses. I've never felt so awkward in my life," Her brows furrowed as her long lashes hid her eyes. "And I don't know why."

Then Bartos said, "Please don't leave. It's hard being so brave all the time," And she smiled a strange smile at her clever cat. "I know."

She knew she had to leave to go and protect Pounce...but now that this utter confusion between them was somewhat cleared, maybe she could stay a little longer. She felt so comfortable and jittery and warm with Bartos, and she liked this weird excitement running through her when she thought about staying. She would try to keep her thoughtless actions under check, but....

She liked Bartos and their jaunty exuberance for their earthy passion, how every feeling showed in their clear blue eyes, how charming and witty and funny and powerful they were matched only by an equal amount of humbleness and honesty. The wonderful cat had no idea how they confused her so, making her as comfortable and ill at ease with herself and her thoughtless actions as possible. She never acted this way with anyone.

She leaned her forehead against Bartos', smiling, her eyes closed. "Forgive me for being so weird."

"This is how I speak."

Her voice sang into the air, and his name rolled around on her tongue, touching the air light as snowflakes. The way she spoke his name made his heart quake and something flutter around in his stomach. He wanted to bashfully avert his eyes again, but he knew what had happened the last time he did that. He summoned the strength to keep gazing up at her, and he found that after a few seconds it was a lot easier - if he just ignored the fact that he was shy and nervous. She already knew that he was, there was no use in hiding it any further. Then she admitted that she adored him, and his grin returned, a low purring starting up in his chest like a constant engine.

He still couldn't fathom what she meant, because he didn't see her being bossy or pushy or anything. She explained her reasoning, and any worry that she didn't like him immediately slipped away. She'd never thought of him as cowardly or lying about being brave at all, she was just shy like him! His grin broadened at this realization. She made him blush too, she made him flustered and stumble over his words and indecisive, because he wanted to cuddle and be close to her, but he also wasn't sure if she'd like that - it was hard to tell what was okay to do, considering what he wanted to do. But she was feeling the same as him.

Then he admitted that he didn't want her to go, and she smiled and said that she knew. There was a strange serenity that fell over them at that point. It was like he could see her processing the information and, what, coming to terms with it? Or realizing something else? Bartos gazed at her curiously trying to extract a meaning behind her expression, behind her words. But she only leaned forward, pressing her forehead against his. His purring surged louder, and he barely even realized that he was doing it. He couldn't restrain the small chuckle that pushed forward. "Your weirdness is the best thing about you!" He wrinkled his nose with a smile. It wasn't meant to be an insult - he just meant the whole, pushiness and kisses and blushing. He liked that weirdness.

She liked the purring that got stronger as they got closer - it made her feel a wonderful slurry of feelings, warmth, appreciation, adoration - and she laughed at Bartos' response.

She wanted to promise herself to be honest with her cat just as Bartos was. There were no machinations or subtlety to them, and while this led to awkwardness and embarrassment, she wouldn't have them any other way. She didn't want to feel confused or upset with herself again, because she had convinced herself that everything she was doing went unappreciated and wrong in context when in truth Bartos had....liked it. She would just speak if she felt in the wrong from now on, and even if she felt embarrassed, she would say so.

It was the first time that being her normal polite self felt inadequate and useless in their company. What an odd feeling. Her heart was dancing a jaunty tune, with awkward, off beat steps, but enthusiastic all the same.

"If you like my weirdness," She said, leaning into their purring, "I'll be weird. Just for you."

"This is how I speak."

She leaned into him, at least, that was what he was feeling. It was a slight pressure against his side, and the warmth of her body touched him all over. It wasn't uncomfortable though - it was welcome, encouraged even. He loved the sensation of it. If he could, he'd let himself be entirely consumed by it. Her voice was a lilt in the air, dancing like a generous and humble fire as she promised to be weird just for him. Just for him. And finally, Bartos was given something that was his and his alone - it wasn't just a rock or a gem or a trinket, it was far more special than that. It was a promise. "And I'll be brave, just for you." The cat gazed up at her, wide blue eyes gleaming with utmost adulation. He didn't know how long they'd have to continue sitting here and being dorks, but he wanted to make it last forever.

With a warm smile, he settled down on the ground and withdrew his one extended leg, tucking it back under his chest. His fluffy tail curled up next to him and the cat made himself comfortable next to the deer, pressed into her side and purring steadily. Whatever happened next, he was eager for it. He could probably take on the world at this point.

(fade out? yea?)

She gazed back into those beautiful blue eyes, and thought that they were the most wonderful things she had ever seen. She wanted...she wanted to give something back for their splendor, their bravery, their kindness. Something. It was a compulsion to do so, to show them something just as lovely.

"And we'll be brave and weird together. My clever cat." She said softly, cuddling up close to them and settling herself comfortably. She could spend forever here with them.

Slowly, she gently called to her magic for something new, something brilliant and exciting. She touched her nose to the lovely twinkling gem set aside a little ways from them both, and watched as little shoots of fabulous colors burst forth from the stone as if bursting from the ice, little white sparkles shining here and there. It was a very small working, but to her, it was precious. A small pink flower bloomed from it with brilliant gold leaves, and as it unfurled, it had a sparkling bright blue center that caught the eye perfectly.

She smiled at it, making more and more of these flowers appear as she spoke quietly with her clever cat as time slipped away. They enjoyed one another's company, their stories, their laughter, all the while keeping close, warm, and safe with each other side by side. To the both of them, nothing could be better.

[end thread]

"This is how I speak."