Huckleberry shivered, looking away from the mess they had just made, their throat and eyes burning. The felt like a helpless kid all over again, sick and lost in their own storm. And Kin-Kin was there, ever the stoic, watchful guardian and Huckleberry felt just as trapped as ever. When he didn't have Mama watching his back, he had Kin-Kin there as if she were a second guardian. Would he ever be free to be himself?

But he reminded himself - he had been the one to go looking for the wolf. He hadn't gone off on his own, he had searched for her guidance. It was what he needed right now. A person that was confident and good and didn't waver like he did. Someone with control and purpose. It was so different, being around Kin-Kin, then it ever was being with the family.

He took a deep breath, swallowing a number of times to try and rid himself of the taste of bile and to control the burning in his throat. He would need to find a place to re-hydrate himself, but not right now. He needed to face himself, own up and get the help he needed. Because despite his resentment for needing someone to care for him, he knew that he needed the help.

He stood and walked out from behind the rock, stopping in Front of Kin-Kin where he looked at her with a dull yet determined gaze. If he wanted things to get better, he had to make them better. It was one of those moments of clarity - in the haze of his life, in the confusion, the muddle of all of his emotions, behaviors, and uncontrollable nature, it was times like these that Huckleberry could finally see clearly. "I can't take back what I've done," their began, their voice stronger then it had been before. "It's tearing me up, but I deserve it. I killed an innocent creature and I brought them back to life. Mama wants to keep for herself them but I don't know if I can handle that...she doesn't trust me. I don't know what to do. I know you don't want to get involved but..." they faltered for a second and looked away guiltily. The last thing they wanted to do was have Kin-Kin bend herself over on their expense, but they really didn't know what else to do. "I need help. I don't know what to do. I'm stuck and every day is worse than the last."

@Kin-Kin

Kin-Kin's eyes followed Huckleberry as they approached, her ears twitching to attention. She listened, tail slowly flicking, and let them finish before she spoke. "If you want my opinion... Your mother doesn't trust you because she knows you're better than her," Kin-Kin said, thinking back to the encounter she'd had with the goose. "I get the impression she'd have killed the bird in a heartbeat and had no remorse. But the fact you're pretty torn up about it is a good thing, kid. It means you're not as bad as you think you are."

Kin-Kin hummed thoughtfully as the hybrid said that they needed help... though what kind of help, Kin-Kin couldn't be certain. "Hey, I was the one picking fights. What kinda help are we talking about, here?" Kin-Kin didn't know how every day was getting worse than the last, but she thought she could make a few good guesses. Stepping back from Huckleberry, Kin-Kin turned towards the crystal river. She wanted to move away from the vomit-puddle, at least- and she was sure that the kid would want to get the taste of it out of their mouth anyway.

"Actually, you can tell me on the way. Let's go get you cleaned up, huh?"

Kin-Kin padded towards the crystal river, after a few paces stopping to glance back towards them, making sure that they were following.

---

When I speak.

When I think.

@Huckleberry

Kin-Kin saying it aloud didn't make Huckleberry feel any better. They knew that that was reason - Blackberry knew that not wanting to kill made them morally better then her, but that wasn't the problem. "That's just it...Mama doesn't want any of her kids to be good. We're meant to be bad, just like her. And she can't stand that someone with her blood could ever turn away a kill..." Their ears flattened at the thought and for a second, they felt rage boil in their veins and they spat with disgust. "I hate her! I hate my family! They can all rot for all I care!" But as soon as the words came out of their mouth they regretted everything. How could they say such a thing?! Their family was precious to them! They had been taught that from the very beginning! "N-no, I don't mean that, I love my family. They're...they're..."

They couldn't finish. They didn't know how to finish. How could they justify their family to Kin-Kin? How could they justify their family to themself?

And what kind of help could they ask? What kind of help did they even need? It was like they knew that they needed help with something, but they didn't know how anyone could help them. For a moment, they had an idea but they pushed it away. No...they couldn't. They belonged with the family. How could they ever leave?

But wouldn't that solve all the problems? They could even take the gem with them. But they had given that gem to Mama. She would kill them if she caught them and if she didn't she would hunt them down. They didn't want that. They would have to leave the gem behind. But they couldn't do that either!

They growled in frustration. Why could they never figure themselves out? "I don't know, I just need help!"

They looked up and watched Kin-Kin lead them to the river and they felt relief flood their body. They stood and followed her, saying nothing on the way. What was there to say? They didn't know anything. How could she help them? What could they even do in this situation?

As soon as the river was in sight, they rushed forward and sat at the edge, jabbing their face right in to the cool, clear water and drinking in long gulps. The water felt good against their bitter tongue and the stinging in their throat went away as the water washed away the traces of the vomit. They could feel things clearing as the hydration flooded their body. But still the answer alluded them.

Once they had drunk their fill, they turned to Kin-Kin, their eyes dull and their voice somber. "I need help coping with this. I can't leave them, I can't! But things can't keep going like this."

@Kin-Kin

Kin-Kin listened to the young Gembound's words, wincing inwardly at the rapidly changing tone. Sheesh. What kinda mess had she gotten herself into this time? She was silent as she padded through Polaris towards the banks of the river, and her efforts were soon rewarded by the young one surging forward to the water's edge.

Kin-Kin settled back down onto her haunches and watched the youngster drink their fill. "Yeah, yeah. I get it," Kin-Kin answered finally, not without a trace of compassion. "Families are complicated. I wouldn't understand, but I know it ain't easy. They're family. You can't hate 'em, but sometimes they hurt ya more than it's worth."

Again, Kin-Kin felt a tug of familiarity; the situation an uncomfortable reminder of not only Imperia, but their daughter. Their relationship had broken down in a bitter, bitter end and the pair had never really resolved their differences. But both had been pretty torn up about it. Kin-Kin wondered for a fleeting moment if perhaps, her experience wasn't what Huckleberry needed. Kin-Kin had no family, but Imperia had had an experience like this; the breakdown of parent and child. But... if Kin-Kin was honest, they'd been... part of the problem. Perhaps they'd take Blackberry's side in the matter. But it had been many, many cycles since Kin-Kin had seen Aaliyah- the one who might be able to help Huckleberry better. For all Kin-Kin knew, Aaliyah might have changed for the worse. On the other hand, Kin-Kin trusted Imperia- to a degree, at least, to take her side.

It might be worth a shot.

Kin-Kin blew out of her nose in a sigh. "Listen, kid. I ain't a family man. I'm gonna try to help as much as I can, but... this ain't my area of expertise." she paused. "...But I think I know someone who can. They're my age- experienced. Thousand times older'n that stinkin' goose. But I need ya to promise somethin' for me, okay? They've killed before, and they would again. They're the one that threatened to rip me apart into little pieces, once upon a time. So just... let me handle the heavy lifting. They trust me- I think- but I dunno how they'll feel talking about... this. It might still be a touchy subject. They have a lot of... uh. Experience in it," she realized, lowering her ears a little guiltily, that she might be making all of this sound a lot worse than it was. But Imperia was no joke. Kin-Kin grinned a little sheepishly, trying to lighten the mood. "I think if we set you up just right, you two could really hit it off. How does that sound?"

---

When I speak.

When I think.

@Huckleberry

Huckleberry stared at Kin-Kin dully as she spoke, nodding occasionally. It was all going into their head, slowly but surely, scrambling somewhere in their brain and then unscrambling again. So by the time Kin-Kin finished speaking, Huckleberry was only partially through comprehending her speech. There was a few moments of silence before their eyes regained some clarity and they took a deep breath. "I...I think I can do that. Yes...talking. With someone. Maybe that would make things better."

There was something in the back of their mind, though, something nagging. They had to go back to the cave soon. While their conscious mind had no idea why, something at the back, something important was going to happen. They couldn't go now. Something had to happen first. Their shook their head, as if trying to clear away the fog that was covering their thoughts. It was so annoying how they could never stay stable, but it was something that they had learned to grow with. "Can you set it up then? I...I got to go home first." They looked back in the direction of the tunnel, distracted. What was so important? They couldn't remember, they couldn't think.

@Kin-Kin

Kin-Kin nodded encouragingly, unsurprised by Huckleberry's hesitation. "Yeah... I mean... I've taught kids outta the yazoo, and you know I'm a good talker. But this- er- moral support- ain't my area of expertise."

Kin-Kin was surprised as the youngster cut her off; she was certain that the caracal wouldn't take too long to find or even to call directly to them. They'd come to Kin-Kin's last call, after all. But she couldn't be certain that they even remained near Polaris. Kin-Kin wasn't so sure she wanted the kid to go back; it was probably better they cleared off and simply kept away until the goose either forgot about them, or Huckleberry got themselves some backup. But she also thought that the longer the hybrid was away, the worse their return would be. Kin-Kin thought for a moment, then breathed out, and finally nodded.

"Sure, kid. Whatever ya need."

---

When I speak.

When I think.

@Huckleberry

Huckleberry breathed a sigh of relief. The back of their mind was calm now that he knew he could go home and tend to...whatever he had to tend to. Something was going to happen soon, something super important. They had to leave soon. "Thanks. I'll...I'll be careful. I won't upset my mama. But..."

Sudden fear sparked in their chest and they stared at Kin-Kin, their eyes wide, pleading and full of terror. "Please promise you won't forget? Don't leave me there." It was like they were a child, begging their mother not to lose them, a tiny baby clinging to their leg, crying for them to never be forgotten. They looked so pitiful in that moment. Even though they were bigger then the wolf it was plainly obvious in that moment that, in their head, they were still no more then a child.

@Kin-Kin

The young one's promise didn't do much to soothe Kin-Kin's concern. After all, from what she'd seen, it hadn't taken a lot to anger the goose if saving her child had been sufficient to set her off. The stupid thing. Kin-Kin's hackles rose slightly, though much of the fur was hidden beneath her cape. "Whatever you say, kid. I ain't gonna try to tell you what to do." she examined the hybrid- they were, after all, an adult.

Kin-Kin blinked in surprise as the young one's moment of despair overcame them. "Of course. Promise, okay? You have my word. Meet me back here, okay? I'd be dead before breaking a promise." Her reputation could be on the line; but that wasn't the only thing. Although Kin-Kin felt like a fish out of water, she felt responsible for this kid. She was well and truly in the deep end; no backing out now.

"Listen for my howl- It can be heard just about anywhere in Polaris. Then, as soon as you can, come back here. Sound good?" Perhaps that wouldn't be the best method; but Kin-Kin had no idea where Imperia was. It could take a long while to find them.

---

When I speak.

When I think.

@Huckleberry

Huckleberry nodded, too emotional to speak. He didn't want to be forgotten. He didn't want someone like Kin-Kin, who he held in such high regard, to push him aside like Mama had done. He had once been one of her favorite children, or as favorite as one could get. Now he was the traitor and the hated one, even though he had no idea what he had done.

"Thank you." Before he really knew what he was doing, he stepped forward, extending his leg to try and pull Kin-Kin closer in what could be described as an embrace. It only lasted for a second before he stepped away, not letting himself look at the wolf. "Thanks," he mumbled again before turning away.

He shot off quickly, extending his wings once he was going fast enough and took off into the sky. The cool air blowing against his face cleared his head and suddenly he remembered - he was going back for Cloudberry! A feeling of both excitement and dread weighed heavily in his stomach. How was this all going to go down? What was going to happen?

He feared for what would come next. He feared for himself and for Cloudberry. And, perhaps, for Kin-Kin. If Mama ever found out what he was doing, she was sure to punish them both.

*exit

@Kin-Kin

Kin-Kin stiffened, surprised by the strange embrace and uncertain of how to respond. She felt her hackles rising beneath her cloak and a strange lump growing in her stomach. What had she gotten herself into? the wolf wondered again, mystified as she felt her chest tighten. "No worries, kid," she answered after a time, trying not to feel completely out of her depth. "Stay safe out there, okay?"

as the odd 'hug' was released, the wolf stepped back, her stance relaxing as she struggled to hide her relief. But guilt seethed beneath her messed-up fur. She tried to change the direction of her thoughts... She'd need to groom again later. Somehow, the slight to her pride felt hollow. Kin-Kin settled back on her haunches and watched the hybrid turn and fly. Only when they were out of sight did Kin-Kin allow her ruffled fur to smooth, her expression changing to one of defeat. She had things to do, but did she want to do them? This was moving too fast. Huckleberry relied more on her now than anyone had before. Kin-Kin had expected to simply come and go, but she felt tied in a way that never had before.

Even as she returned to her den, paced in a circle and curled up, the lump in her stomach never left. What could she do? There was no way out, now. No way but to leave.

She was tied down.

The wolf's ears twitched, her troubled thoughts disturbing the peaceful eyrie as she tried to sleep. But the longer she lay, the more restless she felt. She had to find Imperia. But she also had other things to do, a mission at hand that she'd only half-invested in. Now, perhaps, would be the time to do it. As tired as she felt, perhaps something to do would ease her troubles. Perhaps she just needed time to think.

With a sigh, she stood and left her den, and kept her head down as she slunk away towards Tunnel O.

-Exit Kin-Kin-

---

When I speak.

When I think.