With the mouse's hide cleaned by their rough tongue, the little weasel licked its whiskers clean for a while as it contemplated how best to approach the solid food. Its thirst satiated by blood for now, it lured itself into a sense of security that maybe that had been the problem, that maybe it would go down better now.

So, the little one dropped their gaze and sank teeth into the mouse's tiny body, pulling off a small chunk and chewing until the flesh became a mushed-up pulp. They tried to swallow, but again it stuck. For a while the weasel tried to force it down, pawing at its muzzle and whimpering quietly. But eventually, they were forced to spit it out onto the earth alongside the other discarded shreds of mouse.

They looked up at Aaliyah in despair, lilac eyes trembling vaguely in a threat of tears. Its mouth was opened wide as it breathed in fresh air in an effort to clear its mouth of the taste, and there, at the very back of its mouth its crimson gem glinted wickedly in the lantern light. Toxic and unforgiving, there was nothing that either of them could do, but again the small one looked to Aaliyah.

"Is it... always like this? Will it get better?" the little one demanded, with a quake in their tiny voice. "...Is it like this for you?"

@Aaliyah

Li watched with a heavy heart as the tiny one tried to eat, only to once more fail. Her ears were lowered. She wished she could do something. When it opened its mouth wide, she saw it. Red and round, buried in the back of its tongue. She blinked, staring at it, until the weasel closed its mouth. As it spoke, she flicked an ear.

"I...I don't know. It's...not like this for me." Ear ears lowered even further, and she lowered her head. She could feel guilt coursing through her, but she didn't even know why. It's not like she could do anything to help the weasel.

"Speech looks like this."
"Thoughts looks like this."

tags: @Envy
notes: here

The weasel groaned quietly, rounded ears drooping at either side of its head. They peered at the large feline closely, trembling all over until it laid its head on the cold stone for a while. Hunger still gnawed at its belly. The scrap that it managed to choke down was barely enough to keep it satiated, but with every taste of the metallic lump in its throat it felt sicker.

Still, despair drove it back to the carcass, tearing yet more off and trying its hardest to gulp them down despite the clogging in its throat. After two tiny mouthfuls, it moved back, sickness suddenly driving it away from the aromatic meal Aaliyah had brought it. It kept on gulping at the air, and shuddering, arching its long spine and wheezing as it struggled not to lose even that small amount to the earth.

Eventually it stopped short, panting and drooling, covering its face with its paws. "I wish... I could do that. Why is it me? Why?" the young one tried to find a word for the cold feeling growing in its belly and clawing at its heart, something telling them that they were born wrong when everyone else was right. Dizziness closed in. Its neck fur prickled and stood on end. Eventually they lowered their paws, and peered at the cat with sad eyes. "I don't like being awake," it decided aloud. "Everything is cold. Everything hurts. Why does nothing feel right? Everything seems right for you. I hope it will be like that for me soon, too." Childish optimism shone through for a mere moment, even though the resignation in their voice told a different story.

@aaliyah

Li shifted her paws. There was nothing she could do, and she could feel despair clawing at her heart. She glanced down at it before looking around, suddenly wondering if anyone was nearby. Could someone help her? Someone with more experience? The despair only grew when she saw no one. There were some in the distance, but none nearby. With a sigh, she turned back to the weasel.

"I'm...I'm sure things will turn out right for you." She didn't believe it, but she had to show at least some optimism for the poor thing. Slowly, she nudged the mouse away and curled up around the tiny thing as best she could without squishing it. She began to lick its fur some more, cleaning some of the blood away. She'll do what she can. She'll clean it, and she'll keep it safe and warm. And hunt for it, hoping it would be able to eat properly. Or at least better. Even so, she wasn't sure it would ever be able to.

"Speech looks like this."
"Thoughts looks like this."

tags: @Envy
notes: here

It seemed that the feline's words provided some comfort to the little one, who was quiet other than a small chirp as she began licking them once again, though the feeling soon caused them to relax in relative contentment, snuggling up to her warm belly fur as much as they were able. Although hunger still gnawed vaguely, the worst had passed and their nausea was waning gradually.

As they curled up their lithe form almost like a furry serpent, their head remained upright and gaze examined the cat questioningly. "Who are you?" they asked after a while. And in their head, being so young, so tiny and so small, they couldn't imagine the big cat leaving, imagining that their sole purpose for being here was to provide them comfort and safety. That idea, at the very least, provided some gratification.

At this moment in time they knew only four things existed for certain; the hunger, the sickness, this large creature and the comfort they brought, and finally this feeling in its heart. The feeling of one so small and sick, wishing and hoping that one day they would be big and strong and satisfied. And yet somehow, that feeling was soured by their carer's wellness.

What was it?

"You're so big and strong and well. Does it feel good?" they asked then, and though there was a yearning in their tone and their words, there was also a hint of bitterness, unusual for someone so young. But there was also something else, a desire that went deeper than need alone.

@Aaliyah

Li continued grooming the weasel until it spoke, at which she paused. Who is she? She flicked an ear, not entirely sure how to answer. "I am...I am Li." She hoped that would be enough. She didn't really know what else to say about her. She was Li. Maybe she used to be more. Aaliyah, daughter of Imperia. But no. Now she was just...Li. Nothing more, nothing less.

As they continued to speak, she blinked in surprise. Perhaps she should have been expecting this. "It...feels good, yes. I suppose." She was shocked by the slight bitterness, something she wouldn't expect in one so small and young. But...it made sense. The weasel was likely jealous. Envious, even.

"Speech looks like this."
"Thoughts looks like this."

tags: @Envy
notes: here

The little weasel blinked at them, seemingly expecting more. They tilted their head, seemingly confused. The name didn't seem right to them. "I don't wanna call you that. Doesn't feel right," they told Li, tail whisking at the ground. It seemed lost in thought for a while, searching for some instinct buried inside. She was the first face they ever saw, the only one. She was their first sensation as her tongue gently cleaned away the toxic muck they were born with. Li was more than just Li. Li was everything they knew. "Can I call you Mamma instead?" they asked, gazing innocently in her face, craving and reaching for one more comfort.

As they processed their next words, the small creature was surprised that they didn't feel any better from them. It looked away in disappointment. Should they be feeling better? Pleased that their parent was happy and healthy? Maybe they should. Perhaps they'd been hoping for their contentment to reverse the bitter feeling, but it felt like it had only made it worse. The small one squirmed as though in discomfort. "Mamma, what does this mean? It feels bad, but not as bad as I feel. It's not to do with my body, but I still feel hurt. I want to be like you, mamma. Why does that hurt?"

@Aaliyah

Li let out a quiet noise of surprise. Mamma? What was she to say to that? She remembered trying to decide what to call Imperia. There were two different names that somehow always came to mind, mom and dad, but none ever fit. Imperia wasn't Mom. They weren't Dad. They were...Imperia. A parent. She glanced down at the weasel. "I...yes, you may call me M-mamma."

When it continued to speak, she blinked. The feeling it was describing reminded her of what she thought just moments earlier. Envious. This tiny...thing, with a toxic gem in the back of its throat, so small and feeble...It was envious. But should she tell them that? It wanted to know...

"This...That feeling you are describing, it is envy. I think. I-it sounds envious." She paused at that, trying to decide how to continue. "Envy is...a desire to have something. Specifically, something someone has." She hoped that was good enough.

"Speech looks like this."
"Thoughts looks like this."

tags: @Envy
notes: here

The little one looked up at Li, blinking at the strange noise they produced, sudden worry causing their tail fur to fluff out. Then with their approval secured, they relaxed, yawning wide and once again showing that flash of red gem in the back of their throat. They blinked slowly, a tiredness seeping into them, causing them to once again begin trembling slightly.

They listened to Aaliyah's words on envy, and the little one felt a prickle in their fur as this previously unnamed apparition was given a name. They closed their eyes for a while, feeling their heart as it thrummed inside their chest with quick beats. Their heart that was now clogged, it seemed, with envy. The little one opened their eyes again. "Will it go away?" they asked Aaliyah nervously, but as though it knew they were afraid, those cold claws once again causing its belly to clench inside of it. Envy was an unpleasant feeling, it knew, but... there was so much of it. Somehow, the tiny creature felt as though the feeling filled its whole being, a force that would come to dictate its every action and choice. Something that already had, for many.

And yet, somehow, the feeling didn't seem quite so scary.

Unpleasant, yes, but not scary.

The little one shivered, but suddenly it felt as though Aaliyah had not just named a feeling, but itself, as well. "Mamma, that feels like me. Envy. Can that be my name, Mamma?"

They laid their small head down on their paws, looking up at her expectantly.

@Aaliyah

Li paused. Would it go away? She didn't know. She had no idea. Maybe, maybe not. It didn't seem like the weasel would get much better, so maybe it never would go away. "It m-might go away." She'd tell them that, at least. She looked down at the creature, and began to resume licking it as it shivered.

When it spoke once more, however, she paused again. Envy...as a name? She couldn't imagine ever wanting something like that as a name. But...if it wanted that then who was she to deny? "A-alright. You are...Envy."

"Speech looks like this."
"Thoughts looks like this."

tags: @Envy
notes: here