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Yesterday, 11:23 PM
CYCLE 120Current time: Apr 04 2025, 06:36 PM


visiting hours IN Main Area
WE ALL LOST OUR HEARTS
TRYING TO FEEL GOOD
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Genderless 88 Cycles
Arctic Wolf Viv

#11
 
MAGICKA LEVEL 94%
RESTORED TO 100%



Kera turned her gaze to stare off towards Rift again, ears flicking thoughtfully. Her tongue swiped along her jowls again before she replied. "Pride told me most of what I know," she said. "But that isn't much. I woke up out of hibernation just after it was over. He told me there'd been a fight and that you and Jayberry had escaped when you lost. He said Jayberry went back to your den to try and get a kid you'd left there."

She listened, but she didn't turn her head back to Blackberry. Particularly when she heard her crying again-- she fell silent. She didn't offer words of comfort, but she angled her head downwards towards the ground, focusing quietly.

Her eyes flickered to Rift, briefly, as her gemstone glittered against her pale pelt. Below her nose a banana was formed, yellow dotted brown and a little mushy. But a banana. She picked it up between her teeth and pushed it through one of the tree-root bars for Blackberry.

Food usually helped, Kera had found.

She didn't need Blackberry to spell it out, at least. She didn't need to consider how Kera would have felt in her situation, if she'd sent Mars or Halo into their own death. For the time being, Kera left the goose alone with the banana, staring off into Eridanus quietly.

It'd been a long time since she'd been here, she realised. The carollers unnerved her at the best of times with their... well, carolling, but it was nice enough. Peaceful, even, which was only a little shocking when you take into account the war and the multiple fires.

Kera didn't have much time to consider Eridanus further before Blackberry was speaking again, however. She looked back, tilting her head in vague surprise. "Why?" She asked. Surely, whatever Jayberry had done couldn't have been as bad as some of the things that Blackberry had done. "The last I heard of her she was trying to get into a competition the others were hosting. Someone broke all of her bones but she still somehow managed to leave."

There was a few beats of silence before Kera added, quietly, "I dropped out to help her, you know. I didn't realise who she was until later." Had she have known, she would have ended the damn wolf's misery then and there. But she was fairly sure Blackberry was aware of this.

Not that the goose had any objections, it seemed.

Blackberry's last question was a little difficult for her to answer, however. She shifted and flicked her ears back thoughtfully, and it took her a good long moment to reply. "I help people," she said. "It's all I want to do. It's all I've ever wanted to do. It's why I wanted to turn the lights on, and keep them on, and it's why I wanted to protect little kids from you."

"I hated you for a long time," she continued. "I think I still do, for what you did to people. But you're not a nameless, faceless monster. You're not some Lesser flashing it's fangs and scrambling for meat. You're as alive and aware as the rest of us, and if you want help, and to be a better person, then I'll help you."

Her tone, though still soft and neutral, had a rougher edge to it. This wasn't forgiveness-- Kera, at least, wasn't the person to give Blackberry forgiveness --but it was a chance. Kera just hoped that she'd take it.

"If you don't want my help, though, then I'll make sure that no one else is at risk of getting beaten, or killed, or brainwashed into your cult," Kera added. "I don't know if you can change, but I'm willing to help you try, and help you earn a second chance."

@Blackberry
ROLL
6
Kera attempts to Cast Spell — Fabulous Banana
Barely Successful!





 
 
someone tell me how I got here
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Albino Canada Goose Jaymie

#12
 
MAGICKA LEVEL 100%
RESTORED TO 100%


Blackberry was quite surprised when something mushy and yellow was pushed through the branches of her cage. It flopped down in front of her and she recognized it immediately. At last, a proper chuckle broke through that haze of misery. Of course. A banana. She leaned down and carefully began to peel at the skin to get to the fruit beneath. Wilder had grown her one in that cave and that, too, had succeeded in cheering her up. She carefully picked at it until most of it was eaten before she finally whispered a small "Thank you."

She was more then a little surprised at this news, though. "Huh? She didn't tell me anything about that. Although...perhaps that was when..." A sheet of anger passed over her and it twisted her expression just for a moment. "That asshole!" she spat, suddenly. "Thinking she can get away with anything when she's as damaged as that. If I ever see her again, I'm gonna beat the shit out of her!" It seemed to have taken a hold on her for a second. She was breathing heavily, a small, tense tremble clutching her diminished frame, her eyes blazing, but then it was gone and she sunk back into the grass. "She gave life to three more stones. What she thought she'd get out of it is anyone's guess - probably to start the family over again. The kids were deformed and one of them died right in front of us. Probably because she got herself beat up right before giving life to them. And now there's two more children, running around with the family curse of misery and blood. I should never have nurtured that lust for blood. I should have taught her not to hurt and kill recklessly. Maybe I was angry, maybe I was deranged, but Jayberry loved the kill. Not the fight, not the adrenaline, but the murder part. All the blood and the feeling of domination. And now she thinks she can turn around and live the domestic life? That's bullshit."

Her feelings were Jayberry were complicated and even trying to wrap her head around it made her dizzy. She loved her - of course she did, she'd raised the pup from hatch. She was the only one of her children left that still believed in her. But...she hated her too, because of who she was, because she couldn't let go, couldn't accept that she'd done anything wrong. She wasn't going to make amends for anything. If she wanted to change, Blackberry would have to leave Jayberry behind.

She listened to Kera's explanation and snorted. "A worthy goal. It's okay, you can hate me. I hate you a lot, for what you did to me, but I don't blame you for it." But she found herself strangely...moved by what she was saying. Never before had anyone, especially an enemy, ever regarded her as anything more then a vicious, mindless monster. She had tried to convince herself for a long time that there was more to her then this but it had been hard to really accept it. Hearing it stated out loud...it felt so real. She closed her eyes for a moment and nodded. "Thank you...I...that means a lot. If you think I deserve to work for a second chance...I'll take it. As long as I'm not immediately murdered after the trial." She snorted again, but there really wasn't anything funny about that.

@Kera


 
 
WE ALL LOST OUR HEARTS
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Arctic Wolf Viv

#13
 
MAGICKA LEVEL 99%
RESTORED TO 100%



Kera bolted upright once Blackberry started shouting. It didn't matter if she wanted to change or not-- Kera reminded herself that the goose was still dangerous, and it was all too clear to her when she got angry, no matter what it was about or how long it lasted.

She was alarmed, watching and listening with the fur along her spine standing on edge. A part of her expected Blackberry to try to break out of that cage and start hunting down Jayberry herself, but what she was saying washed the alarm away for confusion.

Blackberry must have known health mattered when you give life to stones-- she's done it far more than Kera, or anyone Kera knew, at least --but did Jayberry know, she wondered? Moreover, Jayberry was trying to change, too, it seemed. In some way.

Blackberry found it bullshit.

Kera found this funny.

She didn't show it, but she turned her head away to huff lightly. She took a moment to digest, a moment to think, before turning her gaze back towards Blackberry. "Do you think she's still a danger?" She asked. "Or her children? To themselves, or other people?"

It was likely a reasonable question. Kera wouldn't have a lot of qualms getting rid of Jayberry, but her children likely deserved a chance. One of them was already dead. That sort of trauma at a young age would, probably, get rid of whatever violent tendencies they had.

Unless Jayberry brainwashed them. Then there might be a slight issue there. Kera's muzzle crinkled briefly, half-stressfully with the thought.

Slowly, the wolf lifted a hind leg again, itching at the shaggy fur around her gut. "You should blame me for it," Kera said nonchalantly. "I kept attacking you while you weren't in a position to keep fighting. If I'd left you about halfway through, you'd probably be fine. You might have had to take a bit to heal up, but you wouldn't be anything like you are now. I didn't have to keep going but I did anyway, and it was wrong of me."

She didn't say sorry. 'Sorry' wouldn't fix it. Instead, she sat herself back down and looked over Blackberry for a moment, then snorted. No, there was nothing funny about her getting murdered at a trial, but Kera was laughing anyway.

"The point of the trial is to see if you should be murdered or not, I think," she said. "If you're serious about making yourself a better person then I'll try to convince people you can change, and I'll take responsibility for whatever happens from there."

Including killing Blackberry, if she had to.

But it'd be nicer if no one else died from this.

@Blackberry



 
 
someone tell me how I got here
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Albino Canada Goose Jaymie

#14
 
MAGICKA LEVEL 100%
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Blackberry herself didn't quite see the irony in what she was saying. Jayberry hadn't suffered as much, she hadn't regretted anything or tried to make amends. In fact, she'd turned around and tried to start the family all over again and that, in Blackberry's eyes, made her as irredeemable as she had once been. She grumbled to herself, trying to figure out what exactly she was feeling about this. "I don't know. I didn't stick around for very long. But the kids are innocent. If you talk to one of them, maybe you could get a better picture." She stopped herself before revealing the location of the hidden nook, some loyalty to her family apparently still alive in her heart.

She very much hadn't expected the conversation to go this way. She didn't think Kera would ever be showing some kind of regret for what she'd done. Blackberry had gone through most of her life thinking that Kera had been okay with it all, that she'd done it in complete control. But Blackberry knew that the rush of a fight could really mess with the head.

She blinked and lifted her head just a little. "Yeah, maybe it was wrong. But I don't really care what you think about it. I hate you for it but I don't blame you. But if you were looking to apologize, then I forgive you." The words came out before she could stop herself and, for a moment, she was surprised herself that she'd said it, but the surprise slowly cleared away.

She looked back down, back to picking at what remained of the banana. "Yeah, I figured. Wilder wanted one so I could have a chance. The Kingdom want it to show they can be just. The Seven want it so they can kill me properly." She paused as Kera continued and found that she wasn't surprised by her announcement. After all, she'd been talking to her, helping her work through it in a way. Perhaps there were some people, after all, that would testify in her defense. "I...I don't know how I could ever thank you for that. I promise, I want to change. I already have. I don't want anyone else to be hurt because of me."

@Kera


 
 
WE ALL LOST OUR HEARTS
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#15
 
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Kera made a mental note to try to find where Jayberry's spawn were, and do some further investigation. Though, she was unsure what good would actually come from it other than finding out if Jayberry was actually trying to redeem herself or not. She had her paws full with Blackberry now, and she wasn't even totally sure if Blackberry was pissing about to get free and do more murder.

She didn't trust her, she realised-- but she didn't want to condemn her immediately, if she really did want to change. Surely everyone should be given the opportunity to turn themselves around, even if they can't be forgiven for what they did.

She thought of Alan, and Aka. She thought of Pride and Rift. She wondered if they could-- or would have --wanted to give her a second chance. She could see Pride trying to kill her at the trial, even, but Kera wouldn't blame him. Nor would she try to stop him, decidedly.

Kera opened her mouth and then shut it again for a moment, thinking. Was she trying to apologize? Well-- "I wasn't," she decided. "And I don't want your forgiveness, especially since I can't give you mine." She also decided, in this moment, that she did in fact, hate Blackberry.

But to a guardian, that shouldn't matter. A guardian would have to put their feelings aside and help someone if they needed it, and if there was even a slight chance that Blackberry needed her help, she would. But this decision didn't give her any closure either, instead it sent waves of more worried into her head.

There was a crack of emotion in Kera's voice when she spoke. "Me too." Death certainly wouldn't be punishment enough for Blackberry if something happened to someone from here on out, and it would be Kera's fault for putting trust into a murderous, psychotic goose.

Kera was fucked.

"Don't thank me," Kera said, pushing herself up with a heavy breath. "It won't be easy, either, and if you break your promise to me then you'll wish it was just Pride fucking with your wings."

The burly wolf shook herself out for a moment as she took a last gander at the goose. "I'll see you at the trial," she murmured, and turned to pad back to Rift.

She didn't say much to him. She didn't tell him what they'd been talking about, but her head found its way to brush against his shoulder in a brief half-greeting, half-farewell. It didn't take her mind off any of it like she'd half-hoped, but she'd have plenty of time to collect her thoughts later.

Kera paused for a moment in Rift's presence, thinking, and then dipping her head down in his direction. "Come and find me if you want a break from keeping watch," she offered, and then turned to leave.


@Blackberry
;; exit



 
 
someone tell me how I got here
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Albino Canada Goose Jaymie

#16
 
MAGICKA LEVEL 100%
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Blackberry shrugged, probably the first full-body movement since she'd carefully shifted herself over. "Doesn't matter. You have it." She was fine if people didn't forgive her. As far as she was concerned, she didn't deserve forgiveness. She didn't need it. The only thing she needed was death and the thought of a second chance, while endearing, felt more like a punishment then a mercy. But if it would serve to make things right, to at least begin to make up for what she'd done, well, she'd take it. And Kera was offering her this chance. She'd take it.

She didn't really understand what had gotten the wolf so emotional and she blinked, confusion washing over her face. So far through this whole conversation, Blackberry had been the one breaking down and crying while Kera had been stoic, impassive, neutral. She wasn't going to poke and pry, but she made a mental note. For later reference.

She chuckled again, a little more heartily then before. "I'm well aware. If I did betray you, I doubt you'd offer me the mercy of a quick death. I don't have any intention of it, but I guess my word isn't worth shit at the moment." She watched the wolf rise and offered only a small nod and a last. "Thank you," to her as she padded away.

She looked after the wolf as she greeted her old friend and wondered how this had ended up happening. How had she and Kera come to, maybe not a state of forgiveness, but an understanding? How did she get the will to live again? It'd been a rollarcoaster for the past few cycles, ever since the fight. She'd wanted to die, then live, then die, the live, then die, and now she was back to living again. Although she doubted that she'd be given that favor for much longer.

She set her head back on the ground and looked out of the bars in her cage, wondering what kind of fucking mess this trial would end up being.

*exit



 
 



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