The rodent was starting to feel more comfortable with herself, with the starry room that was now her home and spent most of her days exploring. Such a vast open place, the ceiling seem to go up forever until it was freckled with sparkling lights from crystals. Carrie found herself spending many countless hours just gazing up at them. Head spinning with questions, that seed of doubt was panted deep from her meeting with Ky. The look on the lioness's face was so real, so much sadness and hurt. What if . . . No, there was no what if. Ky was a meat eater and it was best if they didn't see each other again. After checking on the her glowing crystal of life in the nest she made, Carrie went for a walk around the room. Climbing up the sides of a few stones, slipping at first but she didn't let that discourage her. The children of the Lord were so kind to her, all calling her Auntie and made the female smile; but the Lord seemed to have his attention stolen away on other matters. The loamy ground beneath her feet was cool, leaving imprints where she walked. The trail she left behind would lead up to the cliffs of the room. Sitting down away from the edge to gaze out over the room. Even her, she felt so small. --------- "Speech" Thoughts OOC: why do i do this to my carrie?

@Clover

She'd just come back from checking up on her child she'd made with Vazi, calm in the knowledge that it was growing strong and nasty in its little nest. It would grow into something dark and horrible like her, and the raging sea inside writhed at the thought. And if it didn't....she would make it. And as she was walking....oh? Now, who was this? Such a small, hesitant creature; she could just taste the insecurity and fear within them. She had other things to head towards....but she would gladly stop for this. After all, what was life without its simple pleasures? She could hear the shadows that surrounded her whisper this thing's fears and worries, its rich, deep, loamy secrets, her deepest desires. And oh, how easy it sounded to her to shatter, like stepping on delicate sugar glass. "Well hello there, my dear," She said, making her way towards the little thing, so weak and pathetic. "Back from checking on your child, hmm? Well, so am I, as luck would have it. Isn't that nice? Two soon-to-be-mothers." She smiled, such a sickening thing to see. "I'm sure the father of mine, the Lord of Orion, will be happy when mine hatches." While she was speaking, though, she could feel the deer within her struggle. The dark that normally cloaked her faded away, making her feel unnaturally vulnerable. Her pretty pale fur showed in the light of the stars above, and the sick drip from her eyes was lessened. She was nearing.....normalcy. It was horrifying, and she snarled at the mind to let her do her own business, thank you. But the mind was stubborn, and didn't want her to hurt others. Well, boo-hoo. The shadow was in control, and she would do what she wanted. "......."

For but a moment, there was calm and peace of mind. The lord would keep her safe and keep the children strong. They will be able to protect themselves and keep all those meat-eaters away. How the rodent yearned for that day to come; for the fear in her mind to have no purpose and she would be able to leave Orion without fear. But little did she know there was so much to fear in this large room. Meat eaters weren't the only ones to be afraid of. A haunted voice crept up on her ear, sending chills over the capybara. Such a kind greeting but as she turned to see the one who spoke something jumped inside the female. Who was this? But, if she was here then she was apart of the "family" right? Swallowing quickly, ". . . Hello." Trying to recall the names of those who lived in Orion. Who was a white doe . . was this Clover? Some of the children spoke of her but not much. Oh, not much she wanted to hear. She will be a mother as well? That did bring a smile, not as tensed as before. At least, for the moment. "It is nice, I'm looking forward to seeing them hatch . . ." Cutting off short when the name of the father to the doe's child was given. Ears pinned back. Wait . . what? Confusion was painted over her, stepping back one. Did she hear the other wrong or . . . or was the father of the doe's child also Lord Hasira? Shaking her head a bit, she just have heard wrong right? The Lord said such sweet things the other day, about how he wanted to make a child with her. Did he say that to Clover as well? The appearance of the other didn't help Carrie ether; seeming so normal yet something was off about her. The volume of the capy dropped a little, "The Lord Hasira . . . he is their father too?" --------- "Speech" Thoughts OOC: oh weak my heart

@Clover

Outwardly, she just closed her eyes for just a second, chuckling will ill humor. The mind, the deer, was struggling in her ramshackle prison, made weak by her constant bloody light, and she was rattling the bars, crying for freedom, and it took all the shadow could offer to keep her behind those bars. She laughed as the mind screamed in frustration, then turned back to her task. With her empty eyes open, she shook her head, as if pitying the little thing. "Oh, of course he is! Lord Hasira is so handsome and strong, isn't he? Haha! Well. He used to be, anyway. He's always complimenting me, calling my pretty names when he kisses me. What was it? He used to call me the 'Pure One' when we first became....intimate." She said, almost conspiratorially, as if sharing little secrets with malicious glee. "Of course, we've both fallen from our pretty little pedestals." Here she leaned in close to the capybara, grinning overly wide, the tears from her empty, void-filled sockets dripping into her mouth and onto the floor. "Although, he's now started to call me his 'Goddess', if you can believe that. You should ask him! He loves me even more than his 'Pure One'! He just does anything I say." She laughed, such a sickening, rasping, disgusting sound, like deep, nasty maggots filled her throat. "He'll make a wonderful father, I think." "......."

How could this be? The Lord was giving her such sweet names on the evening he pulled a bit of his stone for her to put life into. Life that would help the gem grow, grow into something strong and beautiful! The rodent's ears pinned back tight on her head. "I don't under . . . understand." The darkness that leaked out from the doe caused her stomach to turn into about. She was his goddess? A shudder went over them as she stepped back. Only to bark out one thing, "Lord Hasira would never fall! He is a great lord!" Why did so many say things about him that weren't true? But at the comment to ask him, she only froze in place. No . . . I could never bother the Lord like that. She didn't want him to find her a pest, to bother him with things that she might not even understand. With a tiny distance between the two females, a light mist crawled up around them both. Carrie only wished to be alone for now, to see the Lord again and for her child to be born. Walking around the doe, keeping out of her reach, she moved to be away from the edge of the cliff. "Why do you . . . why do you say much upsetting things. I thouht . . . this place for about family and . . ." Staring at Clover, shacking in place, "and about taking care of each other?" These things hurt more then the words from Ky. Ky didn't say things that stung, only confused. But Clover was saying things that stung deep, cutting right where it hurt. What did I do for her to say such things? And why did the Lord like her so much to make a child? --------- "Speech" Thoughts OOC: words words

@Clover

She just shook her head at the capybara, delighting in the horror and fear inside them, hidden in the mist. It had such a delicious aroma, but it needed more till she could taste its full potential. She looked into the mist, her head low, laughing all the while like it was some fun game of hide and seek, and she soon found her, advancing on the little thing with slow, sure steps. "Oh, you poor thing," She said, her voice full of fake pity. She tilted her head back looking her up and down; then she grinned wider, as if she saw something funny. "So deluded." "Lord Hasira is a pathetic worm, my dear," She said, slow and treacherous. Her dripping eyes seemed to see into the little woman's soul, deep and probing, invasive, leaving dirt tracks inside. "You should see him grovel and kiss my hooves when he even thinks he's doing something to make me mad. He's the Lord of nothing, and he can protect no one, and his 'family' is a sham. Has he protected you? All the pain and suffering you've been going through, the confusion, the misery; he's told you your friend rid you of your leg, hasn't he? But he's lying to you," She smiled. "It was caused by your own inability, your own failure, your weakness, your pathetic inability to use your magic till it crawled up your leg and consumed it. Its your fault." "He's lying to you for the joy of it, my dear, nothing less. He cares nothing for you, not one whit. He doesn't even know what you're going through, and you can see it in the looks he gives you, can't you? He has no time for you, he could care less. He doesn't care about his little children, the ones that fawn over him; don't you see the looks of disgust he wears when they aren't looking? But no - he hides that from you too." "Sooner or later you're going to have to come to grips with the fact that you've made a child with a lying, cheating bastard who couldn't care less about your well being, and the fact that you're not only stupid enough to not only lose your own leg, but also unable to tell that the 'Lord' you've been admiring is a lowly, pathetic, disgusting maggot, fit for the earth and nothing more." "......."

@Carrie

Her chest was beginning to feel tight, squeezing out the air that her lungs held. What was this feeling? Panic? It confused Carrie since she didn't feel like this when she ran into Leon and Ky, no, this was different. Darker. Deeper then just being afraid. A pathetic worm? Ky told her that he wasn't what he seemed ether. No, Ky is a wrong . . . right? Taking a step back as the other step forward to try and keep some sort of distance between them. "No . . . that can't be right . . . . no." Voice cracking as she tried to speak. The room felt like it was spinning, twisting about and when she tried to pull in more mist to cover her from the pale doe, the mist only rolled away. Leaving the places they stood clear as day with nothing to hide behind. "NO! Lord Harisa isn't a worm; he is a great stag, a great leader! He . . ." Trying to catch her breath since the words were making it harder. He cares, he said our child would be great. Looking down at the loamy ground. What was truth and what was false? That was the question that loomed over her head now. The capybara didn't look at the other now, keeping her gaze anywhere but her. Such ache pulled at her as she tried to piece this all together. "If he isn't the great lord he claims he is . . . then what am I?" If he was lying, was he lying about her being important and great? What of the children? Will he not love my child? Feeling weak in her knees, the female dropped down to the dust and struggled to not cry. Am I . . . worthless? oh how she wished she never woke from her long slumber now. It was so much easier to dream of water and lights. The pale doe was right tho, the lose of her leg was her own fault. Ky. What had she done? Telling the lioness she was to blame, that wasn't fair but Carrie just wanted to rid the blame from herself to now feel guilty. Laying there, the rodent might as well been a worm just like the great Lord she thought so highly of . . . once. --------- "Speech" Thoughts OOC: you can run, but you can't hide Carrie :c

@Clover

The mist rolled away, and the shadow half-wished she could feel delight; it was just so helpful to deepen her hateful, nasty words, and it made it clear to see the little one's tears shining on the rim of her eyes. "Oh, you poor thing," She hissed, leaning in close. The shadow gave the little woman a kiss just under her eye, catching that sweet, pain-filled tear on her tongue. When she pulled away, a dark mark was left on the thing's cheek. How fitting. "Don't you understand by now? I see inside you, I see your past, I see everything you've done. Your life is just one sad tale of inability and regret." As she spoke, the shadows that rolled around her got stronger and stronger, and the area around them both became darker, like the shadows were engulfing them both. Tendrils snaked from her to the capybara, climbing up her legs. Nothing else else existed but this little woman's pain and torment. "You can't use your magic...You have no friends, no, you've chased them away, haven't you? You have no love; no one loves you, not even those little ones that call you Auntie. They're blind to the reality, blind to the fact that they would gladly lay down their lives for Hasira's hateful cause, and he wouldn't even bat an eye. They love a monster more than they love you - and they only included you into their broken little family because you're short and eat leaves. No one would care if you disappeared right now, back into your endless sleep. No one would care if you died." She smiled. "And I see into your future as well....I see you beaten, broken, and alone. You'll wait for sweet death to take you into their arms, for the bliss of peaceful dreams forever more.....but not even death will want you." She whispered into the little one's ear, a hissing caress, "But if you call out for me....I will come. And I will end your lonely, pathetic life, and give you what you deserve. I promise I'll make it swift and painless." "......."

@Carrie

There was no response from the rodent, staying down on the ground and eyes glazed over. This was an overload, an overflow and an over abundance of feelings. So many questions rushed in and out of thought, feeling the darkness close in. Carrie wasn't even sure how to over come this ordeal. Was it all a lie or could it all be the truth and she was doomed to suffer? Is Lord Hasira really a liar? If he was, what was truth then? Did she do wrong by leaving Ky? Blaming her for something the capybara did on her own. Curling her head to her side, the female wouldn't say anything in reply. To much to think about, to many things that she wanted to forget. No more . . . Shutting her eyes tightly, wanting to shut out the words spoke by the pale doe. Why did she even wake from her slumber? Was she meant to be tossed back into pain? Was the capybara really doomed to suffer? Was her fate just proximal? No many how it all started, she would end up this way? There wasn't much to look at now, the rodent was curled in a ball fighting back the tears of her realization. So far, these past few days, everything was a lie. Carrie wasn't even sure what she wanted to do next. Stay here? Leave? Who knows. --------- "Speech" Thoughts OOC: beaten down, thanks a lot clover

She smiled indulgently at the little thing. What a gutless, spineless woman, she thought. She didn't even have the strength to fight back. She drank deep of her despair, but while the taste was sweet, she'd wanted somewhat more of a fight. The shadows around her writhed and pulsed at the warm, succulent taste of the capybara's pain, and they wanted more. But she held them back; the woman was tapped out, was barely even there. It would be like kicking a corpse - there was no fun in that. "When you finally choose to give up.....call for me. I will come." She said softly, raising her head. "I'm glad you've opened up your eyes to the truth." She walked right past the thing carelessly now, as if her pain couldn't honestly matter less to her. Well. It actually couldn't. "I do hope our children will have fun growing up together," She called over her shoulder with a soft chuckle. "They'll be the best of friends, I'm sure." [exit Clover] "......."

@Carrie