"Speech" | 'Thoughts' | @Cayenne
OoC: This takes place after the beat up of Vazi just fyi if that's okay seeing as she nor Cay were part of it.
Slowly paws moved through Eridanus. Passing over the soft moss and lichen that covered the floor, pushing through tall fern bushes. It had taken every last ounce of her own courage just to come here by herself. Leaving Canis and traveling back to this far too familiar area meant that Cure had to pass through Orion alone. Orion was her place of nightmares still. That...that stag was still there. No matter how much her father and mother tried to tell her that the stag was no more, there was just that sliver of doubt. That sensation that overtook her to believe otherwise. No, he was still out there some where. She could feel it in her bones.

However, she had safely made it through Orion and now she was back here. Back to the place she had grown fond of during the duration of her healing a broken rib and a gash along her nose that now remained as only a scar. The place where she had met her best friend besides her twin sister. A smile curled across her features as she moved slowly, exploring old paths she had only cycles ago went exploring the first time. The very air in the area was sweet, soothing her frayed nerves even more. Not only did she have to pass through Orion. She was also leaving a precious item back in Canis. Sure it was hidden by a fresh pile of bones, but how long would someone finally take notice and investigate?

She knew she couldn't stay here long, but she missed a certain wolfess that resided here. As well as a little lemur she had not seen since she was but a cub. Cure was fully grown now. A size worth taking note of. Large, powerful paws replaced once large and clumsy paws, but she had still yet to put those deadly tools to use. She had no need to as of yet, but in her heart she knew. One day she would have to come to a decision. She couldn't be scared forever. She would have to fight and protect those she loved. Just like her father and mother did.

Cure had practiced for so long in Canis, hidden away in her bone fortress. At least she did until Xerxes had found his way back to her. Another grin seemed to curl across her features as she thought about her friend. How she adored that lion. Shaking her thoughts Cure finally came to a stop just in front of a familiar gathering of fern bushes. Bushes that hid away the entrance of a particular she-wolf's den. By the smells of it Arkrael had not been to it in perhaps a day. A frown marred Cure's features as she lifted her head and gazed around. Maybe she could find Rae somewhere around here using her spell. Though... would Cayenne be in the area too? From what she could remember the lemur moved from place to place. Cure didn't know the place Cayenne called home.

Cure released a heavy breath before she began to focus. Before too long her horns and cheek spikes began to take on a glow, as well as her sapphire eyes. Heartbeats began to fill her and for a moment she stood there simply picking through them. Trying to find the more familiar heartbeats of a wolf and a lemur. A soft purr escaped her when she finally did find one that felt familiar to her, however it was not Arkrael's. For a moment she wondered where that wolfess had gotten off to. Oh well, she would be just as excited to find Cayenne too. With a renewed smile Cure turned on paw and quickly headed off towards where she had felt the sensation pull her.

"Cayeeeennnne!" She called out, repeating the name a couple of times as she continued on through the area. She would find that lemur yet. Cure wanted to see her and to see how well she was doing. After all it was that precious lemur who had helped heal her. Cure owed her everything. Cayenne and Arkrael both.

She was kneeling on the ground, curled up, her head low, her hands clenched against her head. Her satchel had been thrown a little distance, propped up and open, the contents spilled across the ground.

She didn't want to do this anymore, this path that she had made with her feet and her careful grooming of the plants along the way was giving her waking nightmares of the gems she had encountered along the way, and the memories of their pain was eating away at her. Clover, Ark, Cure, Vicktor, Vazi, and Bog with his multiple brushes with death; their wounds and their pain were haunting her, and she was just scared.

She was scared that their lives had hung on her, that their livelihoods had been in her hands, that she was the only one with the ability to help them, and it scared her so much. What if she failed? What if she let their lives slip through her fingers like melting snow, and the ones that loved them blamed her for it? There was too much at stake, and she was blatantly terrified. There was no one who could tell her it was okay, she hadn't seen Tenn in cycles, and no one else....cared.

That, by itself, that crippling thought had made her stop and throw her work at a tree and cry for a good solid hour. No one cared about her. Not her sister, not the gems whom she helped, certainly not the monsters she'd encountered.

And when she heard her name being called from the thicket, she hastily wiped up her tears and stood and brushed off her fur and hurried over to her pack to put the scattered things into it as if she was just looking over the contents. She sniffed and rubbed at her eyes, hoping they weren't red from all the crying she did.

"Speech" | 'Thoughts' | @Cayenne
Hurriedly Cure moved through the fern bushes, pushing along until she found the creature of her destination. A smile reached her eyes instantly upon seeing the lemur standing there going through her things. Her muzzle opened, ready to spew out some words to grab Cayenne's attention, but a sudden sensation tugged at her. She paused for a moment, hesitated as she studied the lemur closely. Her brows began to furrow at the idea of something possibly being wrong with Cayenne, but she quickly shook it away. It would be something Cure would mull over a bit more before bringing it up with Cayenne. For now she would just be happy to see Cay.

A deep purring began to resonate within her chest as she padded the last few steps over towards Cayenne and gave such an affectionate smile to her. It was weird standing over her. The last time Cure had seen Cayenne she had only been a cub and so had not been that much bigger than Cayenne, but now she seemed to tower over Cayenne. "Hey, long time no see!" She grinned happily as she decided to lower herself to the ground to bring herself down to Cayenne's level. "I'm so happy to see you! How are you? Is everything...okay?" She added the last part in slowly, not wanting to step on any toes with such a question. Now that she was closer to Cayenne there was definitely something off about her and she hoped everything was okay.

She turned around and nodded, moving her mouth in a smile she wasn't feeling. She sniffed a little and said, "Y-yeah, I'm fine." She sighed a little and moved closer to Cure, looking her over. Jeez, the cub sure had grown since she had seen her last! It made her feel ridiculously old all of a sudden.

"You've grown up, Cure," She said in a soft teasing manner with her raspy voice, raw now. "No longer the little kid in the wolf's den. I don't know- would you even fit, now?" She touched her shoulder, looking up at her now, letting the rapport calm her down. It felt really weird. But -why was she here? Why was she happy to see her?

"Are you okay?" She said, the panic returning, thinking of the only possible answer in her head. "Is anyone hurt?"

"Speech" | 'Thoughts' | @Cayenne
OoC: you're destroying my heart kay ;w;
Cure struggled not to frown. Cayenne's voice was different, almost as if it were raw and scratchy. She wouldn't bring it up for if Cayenne wanted to say anything about it she probably would have already. So, the feline gave a soft, adoring smile as the lemur came closer. A soft, melodic laugh escaped Cure at Cayenne's teasing words and she gave a playful grin. "I would probably get stuck half way in!" She exclaimed in mirth, her tail swaying about behind her as she thought about it. Maybe she should have tried to squeeze her way into Arkrael's den. Then she would have been able to give Cayenne a for sure answer.

At Cayenne's next questions, however, Cure tilted her head to the side for a moment in mild confusion. "I'm okay. No one is hurt..." She paused in her words, studying the lemur closer now. "I just wanted to come visit you and Rae. I miss you guys," She admitted as she lowered herself to lay on her belly and tucked her paws towards her chest. "It feels like it's been ages since I was last here. I wanted to see how you were doing."

She watched the feline lay herself down and speak with a calming affectionate tone of voice that Cayenne rarely heard towards her. It was weird, but then, mostly the sounds he heard from other gems were sounds of sobbing or delirious ramblings in pain, so she was in no position to feel uncomfortable.

But the last sentence set her on edge, and her heart clenched like a dog waiting to get kicked. Her heart was telling her that Cure was lying, that there was no one who wanted her around except for if they needed something.

So she waited for the other shoe to drop, waiting for Cure, the little cub from her wandering youth she had met with the best of intentions at the time, back when the world was an open book, to follow her expectations.

Her eyes flickered around, and then she leaned against her pack.

"The last I saw Ark, she had a big gaping wound on the back of her neck that I stitched together. She said she missed you, that you were spending a lot of time with someone."

She gave a flicker of a smile, and like the wind, it was gone. "I'm glad you're okay, though."

"Do you want to go and see Ark? I don't know if she would be in her den, but we can check."

"Speech" | 'Thoughts' | @Cayenne
Rounded ears pushed forward with attention as Cure focused entirely on the lemur before her. Though she wanted to persist with her worries. Wanted to know why Cayenne felt off, as if she were upset or something, but no matter how much she wanted to ask Cure would keep quiet about it right now. She didn't want to impose on the lemur, but she certainly couldn't keep her worry from trying to consume her. As Cayenne's voice rose to her ears a deep frown settled over her features and worry pitted itself within her gut. Someone had harmed Arkrael that bad? It left a strange anger boiling up, but she ultimately pushed it down. She would focus on that later. If Cayenne had found Arkrael the she-wolf was probably just fine.

Cure tilted her head when Cayenne smiled at her briefly so she offered another warm smile to the lemur. "She's not in her den. That's where I came from, but no. I suppose I will stumble upon her eventually. Right now I'd rather visit with you, if that's okay," She spoke gently, her voice still full of warm affection. She shifted to get just a tad more comfortable where she lay before she focused on the lemur again.

"I've been practicing my magicka a lot! And while doing so I descovered I could do something like you can do!" She spoke a little more excited now. "I was able to heal my friend's, Xerxes, wound! He had a cut on his nose like I did and it healed right up when I used my spell on him!" With the thought of cuts on noses, Cure's paw rose and covered over the scar that ran along the width of her own nose.

Cayenne didn't want to believe that Cure wanted to see her and only her. To her damaged heart, it didn't make any sense, and she didn't want to think she was lying, so she pushed it away, telling herself she would mull over it another time.

And when Cure was saying she had a spell much like what she had, her insides unclenched a little and said, Aha,, finally finding the reason for Cure's visit. That made sense to her, that the younger cub would want something from her. She could offer knowledge, she could offer her experiences.

But at the same time, a little part of her was bitter, curling up in itself, having held out for that sweet promise of true affection that didn't come.

On the outside, though, none of this registered on her face. She had grown very good at using her poker face, and she kept it calm, wise, and neutral.

"That's really good, Cure," She said softly, smiling a little for her. "You're talking about the cleansing spell, right? I once used that one to push poisons out of my sister and her lover, when they had gotten bitten by someone else, multiple times. Did you know? There's a spell to poison someone."

"I used that spell to numb the pain when a friend of mine had a huge gaping hole in his chest, and I used it again when that hole was taken up by a forming gem that was piercing into his heart and his liver." She said this all incredibly calmly, but inside she was bitter, bitter, spittingly bitter.

"....It's an incredibly useful spell." She said.

Cure is too young for this, She thought. Healing a tiny little cut on someone's nose won't save their life.

"Speech" | 'Thoughts' | @Cayenne
Cure brimmed with joy as Cayenne spoke of the spell she had mentioned. Though, as Cayenne continued on Cure felt her smile falter. Ears splayed out to the side and she lowered her head until her chin rested upon her front legs. She knew how cruel some gembounds could be. That cruelty is what led her friendship to the creature before her, and to the wolf that had aided her when she needed it most. "I don't understand...why some gembounds have to be so cruel..." She sighed softly, averting her gaze away from the lemur to look about their surroundings. Just thinking about the way she had been treated by Hasira, or what had happened to gembounds Cayenne had met and took care of, left her heart heavy.

Finally she turned her gaze back towards Cayenne and soon smiled just as warmly as before. "You're an amazing creature, Cayenne. I'm sure the ones you have helped feel the same way too," She spoke fondly to the lemur, a deep and affectionate purr resonating deep within her chest, "One day...I hope I can do great things like you do." She had never thought that one day she would seek to bring good into the caves. To look after and take care of others just like the lemur in front of her. If one had asked her when she was but a cub, she probably would have laughed at them before going back to chasing locusts around.

Her hands clenched and unclenched while she listened to Cure, her poker face like a mask to hide the curling emotions inside her chest.

Im not amazing, She thought to herself. I'm broken, trying to give myself a purpose and place in this world with saving people. I'm selfish, that's what I am.

"Some creatures are born kind, like us...." She said softly. "And some are born as monsters." She saw Vicktor in her head, dying in the snow, his bones splintered in three places, his mind a tattered mess. "Some like to help, and some like to hurt. Some need to be helped..." Her eyes grew dark, shadowed by memory. "And some need to be put in their place."

"But, Cure, you don't want this path of mine." She said, looking at the ground, her eyes unseeing, her head full of pain. "It's not all sunshine and daisies like what happened with you, you were probably the kindest case I've ever helped. There's nothing heroic about it until everything's said and done and the victims get up and pat you on the back, and until then you see things you wouldn't wish on anyone, till you're sick of it, you can barely stand it anymore, but you have to keep going because you're the only one who can. And then, when the people you save are okay, they get up and walk off to go about their lives like nothing ever happened, but you remember. You remember all of it. The blood, the pain, the screaming, the broken bones, the abuse of magic wrought on an innocent, all of it stains your hands and they just get up and walk away.

This life is like a sponge, Cure. You're not a hero, you're a tool to mop up the mess, then wrung out over dirty dishwater and placed aside for the next job."