Kera watched intently, but tiredly. She wondered privately what Kielo would make of it, and what she would do if they hated it. She could grow more fungus, but she wasn't sure of many other kinds than the ones that produced light. She knew of only a few, but the ones she had just grown were probably the only ones she'd feed to another gembound.

For someone that regularly grew fungus, Kera sure didn't know a lot about them.

Kera shook her head. "No thank you," she said in reply to the offer for eating, gently nudging Kielo to continue eating. She had, in truth, eaten several of the fungi she'd grown. They were unpleasant. They didn't compare to the tang of blood or the thrill and pride of catching something to eat. They were weirdly-textured and got stuck between her teeth.

In hindsight, she wasn't entirely sure how Kielo was even eating them in the first place. Perhaps they were lying about liking them, so they wouldn't hurt her feelings? It wasn't like Kera particularly cared. She would rather hear the truth, but she decided not to bring this up for now.

Her gaze turned towards Kielo again onto the topic of eating living things and she nodded again. She knew it was probably best that they actually didn't, least they get addicted to the taste like Kera was. It would only lead to trouble.

She turned her eyes back towards the quickly-being-eaten cluster of mushrooms. "What do you do?" she asked. "I'm going to fix the lights and I make mushrooms."

@Kielo

"Suit yourself! Thanks!" Kielo chirruped, wings fluttering briefly, scattering a poof of downy feathers. They quickly dropped their head again and ravaged the rest of the mushrooms they'd grown, until only scraps remained, and traces of stems sticking out of the ground. Stepping back, Kielo licked their lips, seeming pleased with themselves. The mushrooms sure did make a nice change from the same plants they usually ate! "I dunno why, I've been real hungry lately. These helped very much! Thank you, miss Kera!"

At a glance, the reason why was fairly obvious- wispy white fur had begun to emerge beneath their feathery coat, which had begun to moult in haphazard clumps, leaving bare and prickly patches scattered over them. In stark contrast to Kera's way of handling itches, Kielo raised one of their gangly legs and pawed with spindly avian talons at a spot behind their ear. Another puff of feathers flew loose.

The hybrid blinked at Kera's question, seeming to falter slightly, wings folding tight against their sides. "Wh-what do you mean?" they stammered at first. Then, as she seemed to explain- albeit only a little, Kielo's shoulders sagged slightly, ears lowering. "I make a lot of friends... as many as I can, anyway," they began, with their usual optimism shining through. "Er... and... I get lost a lot, too. And I eat a lot of plants." They thought for a while, then sighed. They turned their head away as if to avoid eye contact, even though they could never make it in the first place.

"...Nothing useful, like you."



_________________________________________________________

"Speech looks like this."
Thoughts look like this.

tags: @Kera
notes: here

Kera turned her head to sniff at a few downy feathers floating by her face. Kielo smelled like birds-- the same birds that had either attacked or betrayed Kera --but they didn't entirely look like a bird. They looked like half of one.

Kera didn't want to think about it too much. "You're welcome," she said with a dip of her fluffy head. "If you want more, I can grow more. I don't mind." She didn't actually properly wait for a response before she was dipping her head down further, touching the ground delicately.

More mushrooms sprouted from those that had died, pushing by the broken roots and sprouting into more white-and-brown capped fungus that nestled comfortably on the cave floor by her nose, pushing against Kera's muzzle. She straightened up again. "There, you can eat more now."

She turned her head to sniff at more drifting feathers curiously, then looked back to Kielo. "That's not a good way of thinking about it," she said with some concern. She was a little surprised. "Making friends is useful. It means people will remember you, and speak of you, and they'll tell great stories about you. They'll be there for you when you need them and you'll always have someone to talk to."

Now that Kera thought about it, did she even have any friends? Everyone left, it seemed.

"And you have a good nose," the pup continued anyway, despite the alarming thoughts of abandonment and betrayal and being attacked. "When you get used to the smells and everything in the cave, you won't get lost. You don't have to get lost right now anyway-- you can always tell people you know where you are, based on smell, can't you? You can tell them things like-- well, I know there is a river near by, and plants and mushrooms, so how could I possibly be lost? You don't have to say you're useless."

There was a pause. What made someone useful anyway? Kera wanted to be useful with her lights, her ability to grow mushrooms and her ability to hunt fish by taking them right out the water, but all that had gotten her was abandoned, with her food stolen, or attacked.

Maybe uselessness was better. Maybe it was better to be insignificant than to be significant and heroic. Kera did not know. Kera didn't think she wanted to know. The thoughts were scaring her the more she lingered on them.

There was a long pause as these thoughts continued to rush through her head.

"You're not useless," she repeated quietly.

@Kielo

"N-no thank you! I don't wanna t-tire you out too m- oh!" Kielo began to turn them down politely, only to cut themselves off as Kera grew more mushrooms. They fluttered their small wings, grinning broadly. "Oh, thank you!" Kielo flopped down onto their belly with limbs splayed in all directions and not much of a second thought, this time pecking at the mushroom caps one at a time.

As they chewed carefully on one, they listened to Kera's words, and their ears twitched back almost guiltily. "I don't want great stories. Not about me. I like having friends be there, and I wanna always have someone to talk to, but I don't wanna hold anyone down. I want to see them grow up and one day I wanna hear stories about them being great. Really great, y'know? Not just a story."

It seemed almost as though they had stagefright, trying to shift the spotlight onto someone else, their voice full of bashfulness.

They raised their head slightly as Kera continued, chewing slowly on another mushroom. "I suppose I am getting better at it," they admitted with a nervous smile. "But I think it'll take a long time to get really good at it. I've even heard there are other rooms! But this place seems so big by itself!" the little one shuddered visibly at the sheer scale of the world they'd found themselves in, the boundaries of which they had never found.

They hesitated before replying to their last statement. "Neither are you," they said finally, sitting up and stretching their long neck so that they could nuzzle into her warm neck fur.


_________________________________________________________

"Speech looks like this."
Thoughts look like this.

tags: @Kera
notes: here

"It's okay," reassured the pup. "The more I practice, the more I'll get even better, and the less tiring it'll be in the future." She nodded faintly, more to herself, as she watched Kielo eat.

She slowly tilted her head as she listened to them talk, thoughtful for a moment. She had assumed that everyone wanted stories told about them. "Why not?" she asked. "You can have friends and have great stories without keeping anyone or yourself back. You can still talk to them even when everyone else knows your name and your stories. You can hear about your friends being great and doing great things while doing great things yourself."

Kera paused for a moment, thinking. "Think about it this way, what do you want to do? What do you want people to know you for?" she continued. "I want to be known for fixing the lights and helping others, so that's what I do."

She nodded faintly, more to herself. "I've seen some other rooms. I've seen long tunnels and crystals on the ceiling. It's nice. I like it here, and in the crystal-place." She did not entirely know the name of this place, or the crystal-place, or any other place, but it did not entirely matter.

She watched Kielo carefully as they moved in to touch her neck. She didn't pull away-- she instead planted her head on top of Kielo's. She could smell feathers and fur and warmth. With a huff, Kera half-shut her eyes.

A part of her wished she was useless. It would have stopped the heartbreak of losing Aka, but she may not have learned that lesson if she had never gone through the trauma. It didn't matter, perhaps, so she nodded instead. "Thank you," she said softly, eyes flicking to peer into the darkness ahead.

She hoped this wasn't another future betrayal.

@Kielo

Kielo gave a nod in understanding. "I guess that makes sense," they said, with a thoughtful flick of their ears. "Like how I learn to find my way around in the caves. It's a lot easier now. It's still hard, but... I don't fall over nearly as much! And I always know where the river is!"

The more Kera spoke, the more that Kielo quietly shook their head. "I don't want others to like me because of my stories. I want people to like me because they met me and they can see that I'm like them. I don't wanna be put on a pedestal. I just want friends." Kielo paused. "If I do end up doing great things it won't be because I was trying to or looking for trouble. It'll be because it just... happened. Maybe I won't mind it then. but I just want to be the same as everyone else." Kielo's feathers trembled with nerves. They felt like they, of all the creatures they'd ever met, were the least suited to doing great things. All they wanted to do was find their way. And it wouldn't help anyone else or accomplish anything. Kielo lowered their head in shame.

"Should I want to?" They paused, and then tried again. "I don't want people to know me. Because then I can have the special feeling of meeting someone new again and again and again."

"Y-you have? What are they like? are they hard to find your way around?" Kielo seemed enthralled and afraid at once at the prospect of leaving Polaris. The feathers along their back trembled slightly, and they leaned further into Kera's neck, eyes closed.



_________________________________________________________

"Speech looks like this."
Thoughts look like this.

tags: @Kera
notes: here

For a moment, Kera was only half-listening, but there was nothing in particular on her mind. In fact-- nothing at all was on her mind. She stared off into the darkness void of thought and void of emotion for several moments, only snapping out of it as she felt Kielo's head shaking against her neck.

Without entirely thinking, she slowly began licking the top of their head, tongue rasping against soft down-feathers. "I don't know," she admitted quietly. "I don't think so. Not if you don't want to, but you can do great things without being put out there for everyone to know, but even if you do there's always those out there who won't have any idea who you are, who you can tell stories to, right?"

"I don't know if it totally matters-- I don't know if it's a necessary thing," she breathed, uncertainly. "I think everyone deserves to be great. I think everyone should at least be a good person-- and I think you are a good person, Kielo. You don't deserve to feel useless or like you're not deserving of anything. There'll always be people out there to tell stories to and be kind to."

She was faintly scatter-brained, half-rambling, though her chaotic thoughts began to clear as they asked about the caves outside of Polaris. She nodded against Kielo's head, resting her head on their forehead gently. "It's nice," she said. "There's a tunnel, outside-- it leads from here to the crystal-place. It's short, and it smells a little bad, but it's winding and mossy. I grew a lot of mushrooms there-- ones with light, so that people can see when they travel through."

"The crystal room is a lot different," she explained. Although Kielo was blind, Kera would make sure they understood what she meant. "It's dark, and there's lots of rocks and winding places, but there's some light that comes from the crystals on the ceiling. They're wonderful-- white and glittering. The light helps to look around, and the smells and listening help too, but it's still difficult."

"I get around by following the walls," she said softly. "It takes a long time, but it works."

@Kielo (sorry for taking forever!!)

Kielo was quiet for a long while, simply listening to Kera's words. they still didn't think that a life of greaatness was for them, and secretly, they thought that the rest of their days would probably be spent eating, drinking, and making friends. But they liked the idea of telling stories. They let out a breath. "Do you have any good stories yet? Have you made them up?" Kielo asked, their voice lifting a little in a thrill of excitement.

Kera then proceeded to tell them about the world outside of Polaris, and the hybrid nodded against Kera's throat even though many of the words meant very little to them. Lights were not something they could experience, or use, regardless of how pretty they might be. The tunnel between the two, though, felt like it'd be easy for them to recognize and find, and the feathers along their back puffed in excitement. "I think I could find that, and I could know it," Kielo breathed, although they had little drive to leave Polaris yet. they needed to properly learn how to navigate, first. "I'd sniff for a weird smell, and follow your trail of mushrooms."

They returned a couple of licks to Kera's throat.

"I think I'll stay in Polaris for now. But... I think I wanna look for the tunnel. I can use it as a reference point and the smell would be good to know." They gave another nod against Kera. As she went on to explain her navigation method, Kielo nodded. It sounded reasonable to them, but they didn't think that it'd be very useful in the long term. the caves must be pretty big, and they'd have no idea where they were gonna end up. They might never find their way back! Navigating by scents, and sounds might be more difficult, but Kielo hoped they'd know their way around eventually.

"Following the walls sounds a little easier. Perhaps it'd be good for emergencies."


_________________________________________________________

"Speech looks like this."
Thoughts look like this.

tags:
notes: here