Amazon was curled in her den, trying not to think about everything. She wanted her mind to be blank, she wanted to forget anything had happened. But ever since that day, that terrible day where she had come home and just...collapsed, things had seemed different. Everything was worse. Envy checked up on her so often that she felt like a child. Luster hadn't been around very much and Amazon missed her dearly. Her symptoms were getting worse and worse and sometimes she felt like she was really dying. At the moment it wasn't so bad. The headaches were there, yes, but she had gotten used to them. The scales around her gem were partially healed, but her spell was less effective now. She was curled in on herself as she tried not to throw up and it seemed to be working okay.

It was depressing that she considered this a pretty good day.

She didn't want anyone to come. She didn't want anyone to see her like this but she also wanted someone to help. She needed someone to be with her like this. She hated that she was so weak now, but she had to admit that she couldn't do this alone anymore.

Tears were stinging at the corners of her eyes. She remembered her early cycles. She had been so full of life and hope and dreams and now she was a sick lizard that couldn't even leave her den, wallowing in self-hatred, self-pity, and obsessed with her coming death. What had she done to deserve to fall so low? She tucked her head under her tail and curled up as if someone was attacking her and wept into her scales.

@Envy

Envy was making the most of Pride's offer to babysit; however they couldn't help but feel that they were floundering without having to constantly tend to Charity. Without the hybrid following them, nipping at their heals, and constantly demanding food, they felt... well... almost bored. They had never before realised just how quiet Orion was.

So they decided, after visiting Gluttony, to go and see Amazon as well; it had been too long since they'd seen the little lizard, and she wanted to make sure she was okay. Similarly, if she'd run off, they could go looking for her. But, they knew as soon as they neared her home that they wouldn't need to look too hard; the lizard was here, and they could already hear her softly crying.

They approached quietly, hesitantly... but they couldn't exactly go back to the throne. They might not get the opportunity to see her again for a while unless she came to see them. And... though they hated to admit it, they didn't think that likely. Perhaps, as her king, they ought to move her next to the throne so that they could... look after her. They didn't make an effort to hide their pattering footsteps as they approached, and when they drew near, they paused before coming in close. "...Amazon?" they softly called, nosing at the tightly curled body.

Speech. Thought.

@Amazon

As soon as she heard the pattering of footsteps, she prepared to uncurl herself but Envy's nose pressed at her before she could react. She suddenly bounced out of her curled up ball, wiping away her tears hastily and tried to ignore the sudden intense throbbing in her head. "Oh! Envy! S-sorry, did you need something?"

@Envy
sorry for the wait and the short post!

Envy skittered backwards as Amazon uncurled, tilting their head and slowly settling down on their belly, with head arched upwards like a snake. Their quills perked for a moment, and then rattled as they watched her. What was that? It looked as though she pawed something away from her face, just for an instant, but they couldn't be certain.

At her question, they shook their head. "No," they said, with a twitch of the end of their tail. "I was just..." they hesitated here. What could they say? That they were making sure she was okay? No, that was too much. That they were here to help her? With what? They shook their head, laying their quills in a flat line. "I was just... making sure you're still with us," they decided eventually. "You haven't visited the Throne in a while."

They looked at her, trying not to let the worry show in their catlike eyes.

Speech. Thought.

@Amazon

When Envy expressed their worry that she wasn't around, she took it in a different way then Envy probably meant. She thought they had meant "still alive" instead of "still with the Sinful Seven". So tears welled in her eyes at the thought but she forced them to stay. "Y-yeah, I'm still here. Sorry, I just haven't been well."

She thought about the last cycle. All the pain and all the shame that came with her growing weakness. She hadn't visited the throne because she didn't want Envy, or even anyone else in the Sinful Seven, to see her like this. To be honest, she had actually considered leaving but without them, without their protection and company, she was scared that she would die, alone.

Even now, she could feel her stomach tossing around but she pushed it away. She needed more time. She wanted more time. "S-sorry," she blurted out suddenly.

@Envy

Envy didn't know quite how to respond to that. they shifted slightly with discomfort, the end of their tail twitching nervously. "Well, that's good," they said eventually, ears lowering. "And I... can see that."

What else could they say? It wasn't like they could tell her to get well soon, or something, because everyone knew she wouldn't. It was a frustrating feeling, and their stomach kept turning over, but there was little they could do to voice their feelings. Amazon might have been the only one in the world they didn't envy, and she wasn't going to last much longer. "Maybe you should come and live next to the throne, with me."

As she blurted out her apology, Envy's ears perked in surprise, eyes widening for a moment. "Sorry?" they asked in a moment of bewilderment, before shaking their head. Contrary to how apologies usually felt, this one didn't feel smug or satisfying in the knowledge that they were right, because they hadn't asked for it. Perhaps she was sorry for not seeing them for so long, which they could understand. And if they thought about it, they perhaps wished she'd seen them more. They hadn't even introduced her to Charity. But it wasn't like they were begging for an apology.

"I-it's fine," they said finally.

Speech. Thought.

@Amazon

Amazon hated how awkward this was and she was frusterated that she couldn't get past this as easily as she wanted to. Everything was just way too difficult. It would be easier, so much easier, if it just ended. Everything. She knew she was going to die...why not just end it sooner?

But then she hated herself even more for even thinking about such a thing. She still had a lot to do! So many places she hadn't seen. And how could she leave Luster? Her little light? No, she couldn't afford to think about such things. She couldn't afford to be such a downer about all of this too. She struggled to her feet and found that she actually felt better standing then she was curled up. "Sorry that I've been such a dark cloud. I...I need to get out. I haven't left this tiny cave in days except to get food. It's probably just getting to me."

Trying her best to stay strong, she hobbled out of her cave and into the fresh air. Even that small motion left her heart thumping and her breathing heavy but it at least felt good to get out. Her head cleared a bit and she slumped forward, tired from the extremely short walk. If she was like this, then how would she be able to go anywhere in the caves?

She remembered Envy telling her that they would take her exploring. Help her see places. Now was the time that Amazon realized that it was what she needed. She was dying and there were too many things left undone. But how was she going to ask that of Envy? They had a kingdom to run and she doubted that they wanted to run all over the caves with a tiny lizard on their back. But she had to ask. For the first time in a long time, Amazon forced herself to think selfishly. She wanted this.

"Envy...do you remember telling me that you'd take me to see places? Show me some of the caves you've been in?"

@Envy

Envy tipped their head slightly, uncertain of how to respond. A strange feeling welled in their chest; a hollowness, an emptiness, and they found themselves combing their chest with their paws, uncertain of how exactly to express it. What was it? Frustration? Sadness? mourning before it was due? Or perhaps simply pity. Envy couldn't be certain. "--perhaps if you came to live by the throne with me..." they began, but the words felt hollow.

They watched as she moved, raising themselves upright and slinking after, coming up beside her. Their quills perked as she spoke, and they looked at her sidelong with their catlike eyes. "Of course I do," they said, at first curious, and then... A moment of realization hit them. Within moments they knew what she was going to ask. But they had no idea how to answer. They looked away from her after a moment, and out towards Orion.

How could they say no? To take her on a trip would mean that Amazon would remain theirs until the very end, and it was them who'd made the offer, but... The offer had been made before Charity, before tensions with the Bloodberries had risen to a head. Things were busier now for the King than they'd ever been, and they felt their title tying them down like chains, far from the paradise they'd once envisioned. And, if they let Amazon go alone, it might mean that she'd never return. In fact... she almost definitely wouldn't.

Surely one trip wouldn't hurt. Or, for that matter, a few small ones.

They felt their quills tremble slightly. "...When do you want to go?" they asked, looking back at her. The words felt as though they'd lifted a weight from their shoulders.

Speech. Thought.

@amazon