Tema did not find herself here, not like when she used to wander. Not like when she was first learning where to find oil. She made her way here this time with only one goal in mind.

Sunny.

Not the Voidmother, no. She lost that title. She never should have claimed it to begin with, for she had denied the Void of its Chaos, the very thing that gave her power. Sunny had manipulated them all, telling them that they could fight the violent urges that came with the whispers in their head. Did Sunny share in her nightmares? Or had the Void perfectly tailored them to each one of its followers?

Tema knew the kind of places Sunny liked to be. She had followed the trail of camp remnants, half-built dens and preserved tracks within them. She had followed rumors, too, of a snail riding a kooru and a dragon following not far behind. Few had seen the snake, unsurprisingly, although some had seen Madhukar and some nebula creature. Had she met them? She couldn't remember.

Your replacement.

Pegasus made as much sense as any of their past homes, given the vide variety of plants to munch on and plenty of good hunting spots for the predators of the group. She laughed aloud to herself, seemingly at nothing, as she remembered once more feeling bad for hunting as a cub. Lessers were not sentient, she knew now, and even greaters weren't off the table if it meant pleasing her master. It had promised her power, control, for the caves themselves to be remade in her image, as her kingdom. She would acomplish that and more, with Chaos itself as the King. She was merely the sword It weilded. She did not want for more.

Not yet.

Power comed with greed, and Chaos has a way of twisting one's mind. But that was enough of that. She was here, and it was time to look. She felt the urge to call out, that inkling if the wretched thing called hope still pulling her forward, as if she would simply call out 'hello' and they would all come running over to greet her, to guide her home. But they had left her. Even if they were here, she would not be welcomed. She would be shunned at best, if they had actually managed to fight the violent urges, or they would try to kill her if they hadn't. Why else would they had left her if not for the belief that she was not good enough? Loyal enough?

They were not better than her. She was the true believer, not a sword rather than a shield, as she was always meant to be.

Steeled for the possibly long hunt ahead, Tema turned her attention towards the forest, looking for clues.

I wrote this entire post on my phone, please forgive any spelling errors

Nothing. Not here, at least. Maybe deeper in the forest? Sunny would aim for the same kind of home that she had, somewhere secluded. Somewhere hidden and safe to raise their vulnerable children. Did she have any children? She hadn't met anyone yet who resembled Sunny in any way, let alone the others. What happened to her?

Tema wasn't sure what she hoped for, if she was being honest. What would be easier? It would hurt if Sunny was there, if she had always been there, living what should have been their life as her own. It would hurt if Sunny was gone, too, nowhere to be found, crystallized or... dead.

She hadn't thought of that possibility before. She'd thought about killing Sunny, to show her the truth she had avoided for so long. She had thought about killing whatever children Sunny had, instead, and forcing Sunny to give in to the very urge she sought so hard to fight against. Tema would have given her life for the cause, she always would have. She would have laid down her life for Sunny, if only... If only things had been different.

But they weren't different, and Tema had the curse of needing to know. So, she pushed on.

She almost missed it, the barely there trail. It had decayed over time, and it was now little more than a sideways bush and some partially preserved footprint. Carja's, she guessed based on the singular toe. Unless it didn't belong to any of them, it was definitely Carja's.

It was a start, at least, and Tema stepped onto whatever remained of the trail after so many cycles. She wondered if this would only be the remnants of an abandoned camp again like the others. Even if it was just another disappointment, she hoped it would provide more clues.

She stepped past the malformed bush, eyes straining to see the difference between the 'path' she was on and the general wear and tear of the forest floor. Was this path barely walked, or just that worn from age? It was impossible to tell, and so she shoved the thought back. The camp would tell her all that she needed to know, if only she could find it... If it even existed.

Was she ready, for this?

The path appeared to be opening up ahead, presumably leading into a small clearing where she could only assume they were past or present. What if they were there now? Could she...?

Her hesitance, her anxiety, morphed. Chaos has a way of seeping into your mind when you were at your weakest, and who could be weaker than a bear about to face the sister who abandoned her? The entire family that abandoned her?

Or... did they?

That thought was enough to drive her over the edge that she had been teetering on, dancing on, and she could physically feel herself fall into the temporary madness that came with being touched.

Of course they abandoned you. They could not wait for this life they had planned, this life you had planned with them. Sunny had gone stone-hunting, don't you remember? Why would she wait... for you?

The whispers, or maybe her thoughts (she could never be sure which was which), were right of course. Sunny had wanted children badly, and she had wasted no time in stone-hunting. Had they even agreed to raise a child together? She had always assumed that was the plan, likely in part thanks to the snail's manipulation if not simply because they had cared about each other.

Had Sunny cared for her? Tema had cared for Sunny, and some part of her still craved for that care, that love to be returned, but...

No, came the simple answer, Chaos-whispers shoving themselves into her mind with such force that she ached. Have you learned nothing?"

She needed to eat. To consume. That would fix everything.

Content Warning
This post contains potentially sensitive material:

Mild?

violence

gore

Tema was ravenous.

The urge to hunt, the NEED for oil set her on fire, driving her off the path and towards some poor unfortunate lesser's den in a tree. It was barely wide enough of an opening for her to fit a paw in, but the movement within was enough to fill the bear with adrenaline.

She sniffed at the entrance, inhaling a deep breath of the bird's scent before her maw opened wide and closed around the exit. It would either give in to her, or she would force it out. Either way, she would have oil!

The bird, unsurprisingly, did not launch itself into her jaws. That would have been a mercy, and perhaps if it had the sentience to understand what was about to happen, it would have chosen the easy route.

Instead, what ensued was a cracking sound as Tema's jaws began to tighten around the dying tree. The wood splintered and she spit out what fell off before biting into the bark again. Cracks echoed through the suddenly otherwise quiet forest, and every mouthful of bark and wood only made the bear more frantic. Her blood was running hot, the discomfort further fueling the hold that the Void had on her. The bird chirped, once, the high pitch of panic.

The next crack was not wood, but the quiet snap of hollow bones, followed minutes later by the lapping sound of a tongue in liquid.

Tema didn't know how much time had passed since she killed the bird. She didn't remember how long it had taken to decay, or the taste of the oil. The only thing she knew was that the whispers had subsided, and she had no further excuse to avoid it. To avoid the truth, whatever it may be.

Why was she here?

She could have avoided all of this, simply lived her life in service of the Void, of Chaos, without knowing any of it. She could have let the sleeping dog lie, but that would be lying, wouldn't it? She couldn't do that anymore. She couldn't go a minute longer without taking control.

She needed to know.

The path itself was easy to return to, and finding her way to the clearing was just as easy, but looking at it? That was the hard part. She almost couldn't convince her eyes to focus, and her paws seemed rooted in the entrance.

The camp was... desolate. Decayed. New growth sprouted up from where she could only assume they had cut it down to make room for the dens and nurseries, both of which were barely standing. She knew if she called out there would be no answer. The place had been untouched for cycles.

Though she had no clue how many dens there were originally, now all that remained were two smaller ones and a much larger one that seemed split into rooms. The nursery, she would guess. They did as she did, leaving ample space... just in case. It was a shame this den had seen no use... Or had it?

She willed her legs to move again, poking her head into one of the smaller dens first. She could do this. She had to do this.

All she saw was

blue.

Time? It had passed, she was sure.

How much? It was impossible to tell.

Others always talked about hearing their own heartbeats in times of emotional turmoil. This certainly felt like one of those times. Was she dead?

She felt dead.

She at least felt like he wasn't herself in the moment, however impossibly long that single moment had stretched... on and on... An eternity she stood there, so long that her neck began to twitch in protest as she stayed with her nose ducked into the half-rotten den. Her legs began to shake, and yet she still stood, staring blankly.

She felt dead.

But she was not dead.

But Sunny was.

It was as close to dead as she had ever been.

Tema had been born alongside Sunny. They hatched in the same cave, on the same day, only a foot and a minute apart. She had followed her without hesitation from that moment on, however strange Sunny sometimes spoke, however far she had to carry her.

Sunny was supposed to guide her, even when she was the one walking. Tema was supposed to be the shield, the guardian, the protector.

She was supposed to die first.

That had always been the plan. To serve Sunny, to build her a home, to raise her a family. It had never been for Tema, always for Sunny. Always for her sister, her kin, her light.

Any hope she had to break free from the bonds of Chaos, the violent tendencies that following the Void brought were doused, extinguished in the same manner Sunny's life, Sunny's light had been. Sunny had left her, and she was never coming back.

"No. No.... Nonononono NO!" Tema blinked, one hard blink that finally allowed the tears to flow and she shunted the void-whispers out of her mind. She screamed, and it echoed back to her, overlapping like the waves of anguish that threatened to drown her. Like the little waves of blue and green they had been born beside, now allowed to escape the banks as a tsunami.