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Welcome to ...inhale
Bremen's Bananas and Bones and Baubles and Bartering Bazaar!

A half-mile away from the entrance to Tunnel N along the wall you come upon a section of floor that has been surrounded by baubled gemstones. Spaces in the circle have been made for obvious entrances and exits and mounds of dirt have been piled up within, upon which various items have been put on display. Within this little 'shop' there is a single employee, a... well a hybrid thing that is currently sparkling from head to toe to fin to wing to tail. Should you venture closer you will find the following items stocked upon the dirt pedestals:

Pile of pristine bananas You count at least a few dozen bananas trying desperately not to come clattering down from their precarious pile

Heap of banana peels For every banana in the previous pile there are at least two banana skins in this pile. Someone has been hungry!

Banana kabob A single banana, skin and all, skewered on some kind of black spike. Is this someone's idea of art?

Charred deer skull Someone definitely tried to set this on fire at some point, but why?

Femur A pile of three classic-looking bones. They seem to be relatively fresh.

Baubled gems In a pile at the back wall are the remaining glowing gemstones that weren't used in constructing the border. Where did this thing get them?

The small and slender hybrid moving through the cave was doing so cautiously. He'd noticed some of the baubled stones he and others had laid about--the ones used to mark the pathways of the obstacle course--missing. He wasn't sure who was doing it, but he was hoping they'd not take the "backup lights" that he'd also left scattered around: glowing stones meant to provide some dim light in case the caves' again went dim.

Black nose to the ground, he searched for a scent, the soft bioluminescence of moss and crystal granting his coat and feathers a dim blue sheen. For a time he followed the odors intently: fruit, gembound, the faint scent of old burnt--bone? At least, he thought it was old. When he heard a faint rustle ahead he lifted his pale blue gaze, blinking, his ears lifting to splay their feathery tufts forward in a gentle, wary curiosity.

...Huh.

There seemed to be a strange gembound--one he thought he'd seen at the competitions, at least--within a pattern of baubled stones upon the floor. And within that, there were bananas. And bones? Oliver tilted his head, peering quizzically for a long while. Was this a hoard? If so, why make it so public? Or was this fellow like one of those colorful birds in Eridanus, putting on a display with lots of shiny objects?

Hesitant, he stepped one taloned wing-limb forward, clearing his throat and softly calling out.

"Hello. What--are you doing?"

{Table code credit to Madison, altered a bit!}

@Bremen

The small cat-sized hybrid jumped to attention almost as soon as the new visitor was within eyesight. The first gembound to find him since finishing the displays! Bremen hopped up from his lying position and dashed out one of the 'doors' to meet the dogbird outside.

"Welcome! Welcome! I'm so glad to see you here!" he chittered excitedly, probably looking downright ridiculous as the sparkles almost seemed to intensify with his displayed energy. "I came up with an idea for something new, something cool. Then I made it! Come in, come in there's lots of stuff to see and free samples. You like free stuff, right? Stuff you don’t have to chase down or hunt all over for or take when no one is looking?"

Well, probably shouldn't have said that last one. Gembounds didn't like having things taken from them. That was usually mean. Even the deer skull he'd swiped from the kingdom's old Magis he'd only taken after they'd gone missing for a full cycle. That meant that they didn't need it anymore right? There were lots of things in that smelly place he could salvage, and if the old bone keeper ever came back he could make it up by hunting down more stuff to replace it so no harm done.

"Oh, I nearly forgot!" the hybrid exclaimed with slightly-too-loud of a voice as he was halfway back in through the dor, spinning around quickly and knocking a few border gems out of place. "I'm Bremen, and this is my brand-new Bananas and Bones and Baubles and Bartering Bazaar. What do you think?"

Sadly it never occured to Bremen that he had thoroughly neglected to answer the basic spirit behind the question. In his mind everything made perfect sense even if his explanation was laughably incomplete.

---

’Thinking... thinking... thinking…’
"This is my voice, isn't it neat?"
Tags: @Oliver

"Welcome! Welcome! I'm so glad to see you here!"

"I don't--" Oliver blinked. He was going to say "know what this is" but Bremen continued to chatter, and Oliver's quiet interjections weren't loud enough to even be heard. Softly, hesitantly, he stammered--eyes growing ever-wider in confusion and awe.

"F-free stuff--chase down? B-... Banana-bones... Bartering Baz--that's a lot of b's?" he admitted, tone questioning and tufted ears flicking back.

He lingered a bit away for a moment, as if afraid the smaller gembound might be using this all as some sort of shiny lure to draw in prey. Maybe he'd pounce on him, and eat him, the moment he came close?

As perhaps could be expected from the deluge of information, Oliver entirely misunderstood the Bazaar's purpose. Brow lightly furrowing, he asked, "So you're-... giving... things away free?" Oliver sounded more confused than hopeful, eyes drifting over the baubles, lingering briefly on the skull. "And I--I like it, yeah? It's all really--pretty." This last was said encouragingly, and quite honestly. Almost enthusiastically. He liked shiny things--he was half-crow, after all--and the Bazaar was brightly-lit and glittering.

"It's, uh--impressive?"

{Table code credit to Madison, altered a bit!}

@Bremen

"Oh no no no! Well, yes, but no." Bremen responded quickly to the dogbird's question. "You get... umm... three bananas for free, and you can look at all the other stuff for free for as long as you want. I can even tell you stories about them!" he continued, obviously making up the numbers on the spot.

The bizarre chimera of a gembound continued walking inside and immediately tended to straightening up the displays. Well, they were already tidy to begin with but apparently not tidy enough for this exact situation. Whatever he was doing he was making all sorts of strange sounds while doing so, no two of which sounded like they should come from the same kind of creature. Happy perhaps? He certainly looked happy and excited and way too full of energy at the least.

And why shouldn't he be? His first customer and they had said that they liked the shop, that it was impressive even! Bremen hoped they would tell their friends so he'd have even more customers, or perhaps they'd even give him stuff so they could take stuff with them.

Wait, he'd gone to fixing up the shop before finishing that thought. That would be a good thing to do.

"You can have more than three bananas if you give me stuff for them, and then I'd make a new display for that thing and then other gembound might like that too. If you see anything other than that we can talk and negotiate and haggle and then if we come up with a fair trade you can have the thing you like. "

---

’Thinking... thinking... thinking…’
"This is my voice, isn't it neat?"
Tags: @Oliver

((Bremen apparently doesn't quite understand the concept of "let the customer have room to breathe"))

The hybrid's words swam through Oliver's mind far too quickly to keep track of. He stood hesitating for a long moment, mouth opening and closing and eyes glazed with confusion. No? But yes? But no? But--free bananas?

"Wh... Why are you giving away bananas?" he asked bemusedly. Was it for those who could not make them themselves? For people who were very hungry? Then Bremen was speaking further, and Oliver hesitated, listening closely.

He was offering more bananas. And talking about-... About negotiating and haggling and about displays and trades and Oliver had never been so confused.

After awhile he simply sat, staring blankly at Bremen for some good thirty seconds, before asking a bewildered question meant to, perhaps, clarify the entire thing. "...Uh. Why? What's--all this... for? Why are you doing this?"

He focused for a moment on summoning up a banana or two, just... to offer it to Bremen, since he seemed so excited about them. Oliver was very confused, still, but he understood the pleasure of having something you liked, and apparently, Bremen really, really liked bananas. Or something. The magic didn't seem to come, and Oliver squinted, peering. Maybe nobody could make bananas, anymore? Maybe Bremen had the last of the bananas...?

{Table code credit to Madison, altered a bit!}

@Bremen

"Why not! They are tasty and colorful and make you sparkle and the peels can be used for... actually I don't know what the peels can be used for but maybe you can tie things together with them or throw them to ward off bats or hang them around your den for a unique decoration?" he offered in almost a single breath. Now interested by the possibility Bremen wandered toward the pile of banana peels and picked one up with his horn- amazingly not knocking the pile over in the process.

The banana peel was starting to turn brown, but it was still in good shape. Perhaps if he put a bunch on a flat surface he could use them to help move really really heavy stuff? No that wouldn't do, at least not for too long. The banana peels would just get all smushed and turn into a paste. Could the paste be used for anything? Ohh! Banana peel paste would probably attract ants, and some gembound loved eating insects! He could set up an eating spot somewhere that could attract even more gembound to his bazaar. Perhaps make a line of banana peels leading there so they'd be curious and find it.

Dogbird spoke again, snapping the hybrid back to attention. 'Why' they had asked? Bremen tried his best to give a serious and insightful thinking expression- a difficult task when one has a banana peel on their head- and paced for a moment as he jokingly pretended like he really actually didn't know before.

"There are lots of merits to increasing the ties between the gembound who inhabit these caves." he finally spoke in his best impression of a serious smart person, "This is a good way of meeting them and them meeting each other, learning what items are useful to some and trash to others, and a way of making a good impression by offering food for those who might be hungry. If danger appears then it's better to have lots of friends that are friends with each other than to be alone, right?"

With a flick of his abnormally long neck Bremen tossed the banana peel on his horn back into the pile where it knocked at just the wrong location and sent the whole tower sliding off the platform onto the ground. "Whoops!" he exclaimed, dropping the silly fun impression, "Well, more than that I want to see what cool things everyone can find in the cave and have lots of fun. Fun is always good, right?"

---

’Thinking... thinking... thinking…’
"This is my voice, isn't it neat?"
Tags: @Oliver

At first, Oliver was merely confused, and doubtful. But when Bremen began to speak of binding everyone together, of making ties, of meeting others and of friends, and fun, Oliver felt his tufted ears going back and his mouth turning up into a doggy smile.

"Oh!" he exclaimed. "That sounds like a great idea. Friends are--good. You sound really smart," he added, smiling but seriously solemn. "Uhh--Can I help, somehow? With your--stuff?"

Oliver hesitated, then crept further, glancing to Bremen to see if the hybrid would stop him. He then reached forward, focusing for a moment, grim-faced with concentration. It took a moment's long concentration, but eventually a sparkling yellow banana popped into being under his extended forelimb-claw, dropping to the rock.

"Okay so-... If you give me a minute. I can try to make it glow? I mean you have--glowy stuff and bananas but no... glowy bananas? Would that--help..?" he added, suddenly uncertain as to whether a glowing banana would, in fact, aid cavewide plans to join Gembound in a friendly alliance.

{Table code credit to Madison, altered a bit!}

@Bremen

"Thank you!" the odd creature responded to the compliment with a happy dolphin-like squeal.
"And help would be great if you have time. I'm really excited for what's here so far but I can't be everywhere at once yet."

Was there magic that would let him be everywhere at once? That would be fun if there were, think of all the treasures he'd be able to find! Oh, and then he'd be able to throw parties and have conversations and play big games even if no one was around. That would probably be reeeeally advanced magic though so he'd have to train lots to do that. For now he had more important things to do.

As Bremen began attending to the upended pile of banana peels he suddenly noticed a banana that must have got up and tried to run away right next to dogbird. It must have been as excited for having a new customer as he was!

Soon though it became apparent that the banana hadn't come for dogbird, dogbird had made the banana. With magic. Other things had banana magic too? How useful! That meant that if the bazaar really took off then he might be able to make friends with other bananamancers and they could help him run the shop while he was off hunting for more treasures.

"You can make it glow too? I bet that would be even cooler to have for my talking fruit kabob than just a regular old banana. I can give you a shiny rock for it in exchange if you want."

The peel pile shifted again as Bremen managed to toss the last misplaced piece up onto the top, but by vast improbability it managed to hold its leaning shape without toppling completely. One poke or too loud of a voice would probably be all it would take to collapse it again though.

---

’Thinking... thinking... thinking…’
"This is my voice, isn't it neat?"
Tags: @Oliver

Oliver stared, wholly nonplussed as Bremen scuttled about, piling everything into precarious--well, piles. Bremen was also talking about--things. Oliver had no idea what he meant, and blinked, watching him with a puzzled gaze, half-forgetting the banana for a moment.

"Talking-... Fruit-kebab? What--what is that? What's it mean?" He hesitated as Bremen--seeming, to the calm dog-bird, rather a manic creature--turned and offered him a shiny rock in exchange for the shiny banana.

Oliver could not have explained quite why he was alarmed at this, but he was.

"Ohh, uhhh--I-... I have--I can make rocks glow. If you mean glowing? I can do that too. I can make-... Most things glow, really. Hey, have you been to that--tunnel? With the stuff? It has shiny stuff, you could probably... bring some here if you're trying to make friends with-... By using--stuff."

He then looked down, clasping one talon-hand over the banana, and concentrating. A moment later it was glowing a bright golden-white, and he pushed this gently over toward Bremen.

"You can just--um. Keep... that one. What's the skull for?" he asked, glancing up at it. It looked like a thing that might have a bit of a story to it, at least.

{Table code credit to Madison, altered a bit!}

@Bremen