But seriously. There is nothing so powerful, so wonderfully evocative, as the pointy little face of a sungazer. Every inch of their ~8 inches body screams pure love and joy. They are a feast upon the eyes and if heaven exists all the angels are of the Smaug.
Sungazers are the peak of evolution. A large body plan (largest of the cordylidae), strong limbs, an extremely well armored back and enlarged occipital spines makes them 100% better than puny humans who bruise after a single hit. Humans are weak. Sungazers are strong. They have a variety of defenses in times of need, one of my favorites being lodging themselves in a small space, inhaling enough that their rough spines get caught on the walls, and when the predator tries to drag them out whack them so many times with their big strong tails that it can break small bones. Can a human do that? I bet not.
Did you know their genus, Smaug, was named after the fantastical dragon Smaug? Shocking, I know. The name’s also shared with a type of protein in flies. The species itself’s common name is based off their tendency to bask in sunlight outside of their dens for thermoregulation; in the native Afrikaans they’re called Ouvolk in a likening to retired farmers sunbathing.
Speaking of dens: sungazers are one of the few social lizards and I love them for it. They may not be as sophisticated as the desert night lizard (severely under-researched!! Look them up!) but they do live in colonial burrows and colonial burrows are the best burrows. Better than the 13 colonies. Better than a rabbit burrow. I can’t believe so few people are interested in researching their social structure like c’mon
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Look at this. Look at this face. The sharp scales and all-knowing eyes. This is the face of a wholesome bean. A true mad lad. A “total chad”. The peak of masculinity. The peak of femininity. The peak of androgyny. There is nothing better than the sungazer.
Imagine what one’s day-to-day life is. Waking up in a den of half a dozen creatures that look just like yourself, waddling outside to spend a few hours basking in direct South African heat, and then eating little ants for the rest of the day before sleeping again. What thoughts cross their mind? Do they ponder life? The awareness of the insects they eat? Of the lizards around them? Do they miss their family and friends when they’re ravaged by predators? What is the common sungazer’s view on death? They may be predators, but they are also prey in their own right and always under the thread of being hunted. Do they have a belief in the afterlife? Pray to the sungazer-y gods so they can live another day? If you gave a sungazer a diary what would it write down? Thousands of years from now, would we come to a supposedly abandoned earth to see sungazers running it all? What would they say about their human predecessors? When the last sungazer dies, will they dream?
In other words i am writing this past midnight
