DEATHMATCH
The fireworks were fucking
deafening. Nemean's greatest work, she thought: great gouts of bright red sparks, combined with black confetti, that plumed through the air and scattered down across the bloodied arena and the stands. The music was
howling, and what had been a death metal growl became a genuinely discordant, completely incomprehensible cacophony of sound: clangs and roars and bellows, almost more like monsters trying to sing.
The spotlights swept around, and Nemean yelled down.
"CAN WE GET ALL OUR SURVIVORS IN HERE? COME RIGHT DOWN, HEAD OUT FROM BACKSTAGE--EVERYBODY, EVERYBODY! -EVERYBODY WHO ISN'T DEAD! -Y'know what, though, if you're dead and you manage anyway-! Hooray for you!" Her voice, magnified a hundredfold by magic, filled the arena, overwhelming even the enhanced roar of the crowd.
Lights ignited like blue fire, illuminating paths down into the arena floor.
All Deathmatch! survivors were being invited down. Anyone else who tried to enter would be thrown out by magical means, tossed over the walls of the arena hundreds of feet and out of sight.
"FIRST OF ALL, THANK ALL YOU NERDS FOR COMING! This DEATHMATCH has been a LONG time waiting... and y'all made it great! And BLOODY! WOOOO! I think we've got a new meta in the works, folks! NOW TO ANNOUNCE OUR WINNERS!" Overhead, for each winner named, a giant fake billboard of light illuminated an image of them--and flashes of their battles.
"IN FIRST PLACE, the SENTINEL OF DRACO! In second, THE HUNTER OF WILD BEASTS! And in third, stuck in her fuckin' chrysalis thanks to the sand-shark--honorable mention there, like, damn--DRACONUA! Those three, come talk to me or Vargas to get your SPECIAL rewards!"
"BUT ALL OUR FIGHTERS are winners, in the end! Here's all your rewards... watch carefully, now!" Nemean buzzed over to the first person in line, then to each one afterward. She held out tiny hands, and offered a rapid, overcomplicated series of gestures so complex as to genuinely be ridiculous. It was somehow possible to replicate without fingers, and knowledge of this technique was somehow granted even at a first viewing of the motion. Nemean was, though, careful only to show the combatants!
"Use THIS shit at the backstage gate any time you want, you badass battlemasters, you. There'll always be FREE FOOD, FREE DRINKS, AND AWESOME MUSIC!* Party on! YEAHAHHHHH!"
The sprite spiralled into the air, higher and higher, the fireworks raining down again.
"THAT'S IT! YOU CAN ALL GO HOME NOW. UNTIL NEXT TIME!"
The music swelled to a climax. It was genuinely awful, really.
*
The music is generally terrible.
_______
This concludes the first-ever DEATHMATCH! A big thank you to all participants!
The following achievement has been handed out to all characters who participated in any way, as combat, audience, medics, etc:
- Took part in DEATHMATCH! 2021!
The following achievement has been granted to those who took part in the combat:
- Fought in DEATHMATCH! 2021!
The following achievement is for those who DIED HORRIBLY:
- PERISHED in DEATHMATCH! 2021!
The following achievements have been granted for first, second, and third place: 
In addition, a Secret Handshake has been taught to all surviving combatants, and will be taught to those who wake up from their chrysalis later on:
Secret Handshake - Low Intensity Manipulation. A mysterious and over-complicated gesture known only to veterans of the Orion arena matches. Grants access to the "backstage" area of the arena at any time. Those who know the Secret Handshake can use it to invite friends at any time for a sick party! The Handshake itself, however, mysteriously cannot be taught to those who haven't survived a DEATHMATCH! fight.
Those using this at the gates to the arena's preparation area will find the massive stone doors sliding open to reveal the huge inner preparation pit. It is always stocked with plenty of party food, drinks (alcoholic and otherwise), and music. While this music is usually growling metal, it's often more relaxing or party-oriented, too.
Everyone who perished in DEATHMATCH! 2021! has been marked Deceased, and older DEATHMATCH! threads have now been archived.
If you have a character who is missing any relevant achievement, spell or Deceased tag, please post in Update Me with links and your request for updating!
Participating characters are free to post in and exit this thread if players like.
Thanks again for attending, folks! |