my search for cancer had been futile so far. and i was growing more worried by the day, the minute, the second. it was unsettling. surely he hadn't abandoned me? was i that much of a burden? i was solemn, sad, somber at the thought. certainly i was nothing of the sort. was i obnoxious? did i ask too many questions? was i just..unbearable? rounded ears swiveled and pinned, jaded lenses found the rocky flooring with drooping lids of melancholy. tufted tassel swayed with my steps, slow, glacial steps. my head was hanging low and the potent scent of death and familiarity coaxed it back up. my eyes narrowed in pure curiosity as the lioness standing before me had her back turned to me, yet was carrying something of a burden. she'd been hunting, and i was in awe of her caught game. i'd only ever caught rats. she was skilled, and for some reason, i felt at ease with her. i halted, not wanting to spook her.
"pardon me miss, but do you need some help carrying that?"
polite, moderate tones asked, laced in juvenile rings as i remained standing. my head held higher now, though i was sure the sadness was inscribed in my eyes. and the lackluster of my grin. rounded ears then rotated forth, erecting as to give a much friendlier aura about me.
@Makyna
i did not shy away, but when the lioness embraced me i indulged in the greeting. oh, what a loving display of affection. instinctively, a small hum of a purr escaped before horror filled her eyes. i would shake my head in protest but i was afraid my wounds would get the better of me.
"i knew i remembered you! you saved me that day with the beast, didn't you? oh i can't thank you enough miss, i really can not. i owe my life to you. you are a saint."
my gratitude poured from me, seeped from every pore and even in the form of blood trickling from the opened scabs. she offered me shelter, asked what had happened. i took a deep breath, sighing with melancholy.
"i got into a fight with some..thing defending my father's honor and name. she said he was a terrible person, and i just can't let anyone say that about him. she charged me then, and foolishly i saw red and attacked. i barely escaped with my life."
i said solemnly, my eyes falling from her toward the ground the back up again. i was ashamed i let the creature get the better of me. i was ashamed that she said those things about cancer. and i was ashamed for cancer..if they were true. but everyone made mistakes, right?
"but i'd love to accompany you!"
i said with a forced, but genuine, grin. blood trickling from the wounds about my face, what with all the aggravation i've caused them.
@makyna
the older gembound, known as makyna songcat, exclaimed her opinions about my little story. i'd maintain a smile, but it was so painful to do so i just followed along with the lioness - who's magic was something i'd never seen before. i gawked for a moment, before stuttering my response.
"oh..uhm. i'm niru."
i was half distracted by the fact she could make the carcass float.
"sorry, i'm just - i've never seen this type of magic. i don't even know what mine is!"
i chuckled the realization, as long ago cancer told me to find a name for it and i never did. i didn't know what to call it. my attention returned to the matter at hand.
"i'm not certain why people have to be rude either. but of course, she kept claiming i was trespassing in her home. i'd asked for a pardon and suggested i'd leave after i asked her if she'd seen cancer, but she still attacked."
i attempted a shrug, but the motion was awkward and full of pain. i winced and grumbled lightly, knowing i should've known better than to do that to my poor gashes.
@makyna
Her reaction made me stop and observe her with great caution and curiosity. It was as if something I had said made her freeze from the inside out. My brows furrowed, jaded lenses stared with a frightened expression. And then, it all came rushing back. She repeated cancers name, then spoke of horrible things he has supposedly done. My initial reaction was, of course, anger. But I did not act on this, no. Rather, I swallowed it for a couple of reasons. One, she was the one who saved my life. Two, she had been kind enough to offer me aid in my time of healing. And three, I was certain she would kill me if I attacked. So I stifled the animosity, and instead took this time to mull over this information. The beast in monoceros claimed cancer had done some terrible things to her, her home, and others there. Makyna now says he attempted murder, and was exiled from something called the maji walazi. I knew nothing about that but I did know, he has a pretty dark past looming over him. Is this why he's hiding? Is this why I can't find him? He wouldn't abandon me. Maybe he thought I would reject him if I knew the truth, treat him as an outcast as all the rest have. I sucked in a sharp breath.
All this time, I could feel my face was hardened with concentration as when I relaxed my features, blood seeped from the scars about my face and the muscles ached. I exhaled the breath, blinked a few times, and gathered myself before speaking.
"I have heard that he has done some terrible things. But, he did save my life. He taught me valuable life lessons. He took me in, gave me guidance, when he really didn't have to. I think he may have made some horrible mistakes, but... He was good to me. Just like you were to me. I couldn't ever forget what he's done for me. And I'm so very sorry of whatever may have happened."
Moderate, juvenile tones were spoken in immense sincerity as I looked at makyna with remorse, pain, and somberness. I was genuinely sorry for anything that may have happened, but I just couldn't turn on him like that. On anyone who I considered myself indebted to, including makyna.
"I didn't mean to ruin our travels, I had no idea he had any enemies. I suppose that was immature and foolish of me. But if I may ask, what's maji walazi?"
I snuck the question in, hoping to make light of the now heavy atmosphere I had created.
@makyna
i nodded as she spoke, smiling now as she explained.
"forgiving is always a good thing to try and do, however i won't tell you what to do. seeing how i don't know the full extent, the entire story. who am it to tell you to forgive him? i know him to be a wonderful man. you know him to be an awful one. i'm just sorry that happened, and i'm very sorry you see him that way..and the rest of uhh - maji walezi."
i struggled to remember the name of the group for a moment. i shook my head.
"none the less, i'd be happy to still accompany you. i'm afraid i need company and healing time."
i chuckled, keeping up with the change of subject after my little bout about forgiveness.
"my magic is..well. i'm still not sure what it is, but maybe i can show you some."
i then summoned my magic, hoping to pull energy from it and perform my oh so deadly vibrations. soon after, the atmosphere around began to wave and vibrate, shimmering which caused for my eyes to disorient and my body to feel numb- ultimately causing nausea. then i released it, breathing heavily.
"that one still affects me too."
i said solemnly, saddened by the fact i wasn't yet a master of my magic so that it wouldn't affect me like it was supposed to affect others.
@makyna