Huckleberry did not fully understand what it meant to be dead. Mama had always told them that being a crystal again meant that you were dead, that you had been killed, that the body had been hurt so much that they would die without it. Huckleberry had done that to Cloudberry, his own daughter. He had subjected her to the same torment that Mama often described.
But he was confused, because he did not remember such torment. Sure, his sleep was painful, his dreams agonizing as the burns were healed, but it did not get worse, only better, until the pain went away completely. Was Mama lying about her torment? Or was Huckleberry just lucky? He didn't know and he didn't want to even consider that his mother was a liar. She wasn't! She couldn't! He loved his Mama, so much so much!
When Shiny was able to squeeze into his cage through the tunnel Mercuries had made, he immediately grabbed the little cat and held her tight, rubbing the side of his head against her dark fur, crying all the time, but his tears had become ones of happiness. He had been separated from her for so long. He had thought she was dead and she thought the same of him. Together they held each other and blocked the world out.
That was...until the cat stepped up to the cages and spoke. Shiny squirmed in his grip and clawed up the side of his neck so that she could settle at her usual spot between his shoulders, just behind the mane of feathers. It was relaxing to have her there and he felt his mind clearing and his tears drying at the familiar warmth and weight. He was able to focus as much as he could on Rift and think of his own words. He would not give excuses, no...now that he was thinking, now that he could think, there was a lot to own up to.
Why had he pulled Rift from the tree and into the fight? Why had he rejected Pride in the heat of battle? It wasn't an answer that he could come to at the moment. But it was because of Mama and the family. Their thirst for blood and hunger for violence. He had never wanted to see blood. If he was to fight, it was to show off the glory of his lightning, to match skill against skill, but he had never gotten that. All that Blackberry taught him was to fight dishonorably, dirty, to do anything to kill the opponent.
This was the last straw. His own death trying to save her and her subsequent abandoning. He did not want to fight anymore. He did not want to die like Elderberry. He did not want to be a Bloodberry anymore.
But that meant leaving Cloudberry. He glanced her way and saw her looking away as if she didn't care. She didn't care about him, he knew. His opportunity to show his love for her, to be any kind of father, it was long passed. He could tell her...but no, not now. This was not the right time.
He shivered with fear and he felt Shiny's claws softly sink into his skin.
He stood up and pressed his head against the cage bars so that he could better see Rift. He was silent for a moment, trying to prepare everything he wanted to say.
Tears gathered in his eyes again.
But where would he go? His home had always been the tunnel, but Pride had offered him a place in Orion. But now things were different and he didn't know if he would be welcome there anymore. There was another option and Huckleberry dared to ask:
Cloudberry was afraid--afraid of the attention on them, on the Bloodberries. Afraid of her potential fate, of what was going on, of Yewberry's strangely disjointed state.
As Huckleberry spoke, she felt two conflicting threads of emotion--the first, a shocked bafflement, almost betrayal, yet also a relief as she realized she wasn't the only one who'd not wanted all of this. The second was a thick disgust--despite her own fear, his snivelling was weak. It was, perhaps, a remnant of Blackberry's values, but it still stuck with Cloudberry, and she frowned a little as she listened.
It was with another shock of fear that she realized--after Huckleberry had fallen silent--that it was her turn, next, to speak. She gathered herself, and her voice was quiet with obvious fear--yet otherwise void of emotion. There was no real remorse, no anything, really--because she didn't know how she was meant to feel. It was all a chaotic jumble of circumstance and she'd only just awoken--she hardly understood any of it, nor what to do.
"I attacked--we attacked--because you are... the enemy, and weak-... and..." she trailed off, hesitating, realizing that she couldn't quite remember Mother's reasons. There was yet another spike of fear--brief, but real--a fear that she'd failed Blackberry and would surely be punished. Frantic, she stammered for words. "For revenge, for--family--I don't remember-... She hesitated again, confusedly. What was she to say? And as to the other question--what would she do? How could she answer that? She'd followed blankly, blindly, in silence--because she'd known no other way.
How was she to possibly find her own way now?
"I don't know," she offered at last, her voice hushed so as to be barely-audible. She pressed herself closer to the ground, ears flattened back and feathered ruffled out with fear.
She didn't know what else to say.
@Yewberry
Pride ran through his veins as others pledged to serve his Brother - the horned lion, dearest Enka. His Brother was the only one fit to be a King, especially the King of their Forest, he knew. A low purr rumbled in his chest, raspy and broken, but the sound lasted all the same.
He rubbed the scent-glands on his face against his Niece until she stood, approaching their captives - and oh, he didn't like that word. The puma found himself unable to look at the birdwolf that he had killed, remembering the shattering of fragile bone beneath his jaw. He had never been one to consider Lessers and Greaters the same, to think of killing Greaters, but in the moment she had been nothing more than another Lesser deer dying beneath his teeth. And the thought churned his stomach, and he wanted nothing more than to bash his head against a rock until he no longer could remember doing such a thing.
But then Rift was approaching the Bloodberries, and the panther straightened up, muscles coiling as he drew to attention. They may have been behind crystal cages, but they still had magic - it would be foolish, suicidal even, to try using magic on him, but none of them had shown such judgement.
The erratic one, the massive one who had been allowed the company of his Familiar, spoke for a good, long while, explaining. And Sebastian frowned; Rft had laughed at Blackberry while she was dead? No, not possible, that was not his Brother. The Goose was insane, even more insane then he had previously thought. And he did not think that Huckleberry should join their Kingdom, but it was up to Rift - if Rift allowed it, he would keep a close eye on the hybrid until he had proven himself trustworthy.
But it was the other one, the one who had been struck down by the lightning, that truly revealed Blackberry's mechanizations. She did not know why she had served Blackberry, why she had attacked - only that she had been ordered to, and so she had obeyed.
The hybrid shook, tears in her eyes as she panted. Her beak throbbed, and she was so confused. Yewberry hated how her thoughts were rattling in her head, making so little sense that they were as disorienting as everything going on around her.
She wanted to be home, when she was younger, when she and Mother still got along. When she and Mother would curl up in the nest and Mother would spend hours meticulously grooming her pinfeathers into place. It had been ages since she had been groomed, and she missed how soothing it was.
Yewberry met the eyes of Mercurius, whimpering pitifully, and shivering. She forced her eyes to the grass, trying to do as he said, breething deeply until her lungs complained, and then exhaling until she had no breath left. Finally, once she had enough control of herself, she whined
She looked up as the deer approached, eyes wide, wings flattening against her sides. And then the puma was there, too, and she listened to his words. It took her a time to understand, the words seeming to bounce around before sinking in, as though they were lagging.
Huckleberry was the first to admit, babbling and explaining things even she didn't know. He wanted to join the Kingdom, to live in peace, and she found herself unable to blame him. And Cloudberry... Cloudberry didn't know.
she shook her head,
@Mercurius
