ORIGIN - This is not a joke this is not a dream

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Zevruu didn't even make it out of Polaris.

After running away from the magicka competition, he managed to trip over something - he didn't even know what - and found himself suddenly sprawled on the floor. He didn't move. He couldn't find the energy within him to do so. He slowly curled in on himself, thoughts going back to the competition. To all that had happened before that. The dreamstalker. His mind always wandered to the dreamstalker.

But it wasn't his biggest concern anymore, was it? Cycles had passed. Not enough, never enough, not compared to how long he's been here. He's been in these caves for so long. Too long. He wanted out. How was he ever going to get out? His eyes strayed to the Spire but - no. Too risky. He didn't trust that thing. Besides, that probably wouldn't help anyway.

He's stuck down here. Stuck with these gembounds who he never cared for - except maybe a small few here and there - and stuck with himself. Oh, how he'd give anything to change. And how he has changed.

He could still recall a time when he was anxious. When his voice stuttered. When he was wary of everything around him. But now things were different. But were they really? He was anxious again. Wary. He didn't know if his voice would stutter, but he didn't dare test it. Someone might hear. Someone might find him. He hadn't gone far enough away, he was still in Polaris. And Polaris was absolutely crawling with gembounds participating in the olympics.

Why had he come? Why had he joined? He had to get out of this place. He needed out! He attempted to stand, to get away, to leave - but his paws gave way beneath him and he fell once more. He must have injured his paw somehow when he tripped. But he couldn't find it within himself to care. All he could care about was finding a way out.

But with an injured paw, he was stuck, wasn't he? Stuck in this cave. In all these wretched caves. He would never get out.

And suddenly, that seemed like a fate worse than death.

"Speech" l 'Thoughts'

Wilder had seen the cat from afar, stumbling away from the crowds near the center of Polaris. She was all done with her Olympics things and she had intended on going back to Canis. The pressure of being near the Spire again was giving her headaches. But she wasn't one to just...see that and leave him. So she broke off of her path and bounded towards where the cat had collapsed.

She walked up to him slowly, her whiskers twitching with interest and her head a little bowed. He didn't look so good. He was trying to go and run but something was wrong. She squinted and looked at his paws but nothing seemed to be broken. Maybe he was tired.

"What's wrong?" she meowed carefully as she approached. She leaned forward to sniff at his pelt, wondering if there was some spell that was holding him down. Not that she could smell spells, but it was out of curiosity's sake nonetheless.

@Zevruu

It took Zevruu a moment to realize someone had approached him. It wasn't until she spoke that the serval noticed the small cat. He recalled, faintly, the cat being in the competition. He had no idea what she had done, though. He wasn't even entirely sure if she had been in the competition.

It took him some time to formulate a response to her question. What's wrong? What is wrong? How could one put this paranoia into words?

"What's wrong..," he repeated as he tried to come up with something to say. "Everything." An answer, finally. "Everything is wrong."

"Speech" l 'Thoughts' | @Wilder

Wilder wasn't a very big fan of that response. She frowned and her tail swished as she thought. She realized that she did recognize this cat as well. He had performed in the competition, hadn't he? Hadn't he collapsed? Failed a spell so hard that he couldn't continue? That had happened to someone else as well. She faintly wondered if something had interferred but she pushed the thought away. That would be unpleasant indeed.

Instead, she focused on talking back to the serval and got herself to brighten a little. "Like what? What's everything? Because I can name some things that are not wrong. Like a good meal! Or pretty lights. What makes you think everything is wrong?" She inched forward and sat down so that she was level with his eyes, not that it made much of a difference. She was so small that, standing, she was barely taller then his ears.

@Zevruu
@Zevruu

Zevruu's eyes flicked up to the cat, and that's when he realized the problem. She was young. Far younger than he. She'd never get it. Would anyone else get what he felt? Did anyone else long to escape this wretched place?

A good meal...A good meal couldn't be terrible, that was true he supposed. And pretty lights...He did like lights. But after the tragedy of the competition, could he even trust himself to do magic again? Or would he just accidentally cast that same spell again? He didn't even know what that spell was or why he had done it. He heaved out a sigh.

"No, I suppose not everything is wrong." One nice thing about this was that he could confirm his voice was not, in fact, stuttering. "But - things are wrong. Many things."

"Speech" l 'Thoughts' | @Wilder

She smiled. At least they were getting somewhere. She called it a small victory if one moment he was declaring everything wrong and the next admitting that, well, perhaps the world wasn't so completely terrible after all. Wilder certainly didn't think the world was wrong and she still struggled with understanding that it could be wrong for others.

So when he continued to stay like that, all down and sad, she decided to pry further. If she had learned anything, it was that talking helped. Usually. "Okay. Like what? Did you have a disagreement with someone? Did your magic not work the way you wanted it to? Did the Spire hit you in the head?" It was a testament, then, to how much she had grown, being able to say the Spire by name. It was, of course, a ridiculous suggestion of what, exactly, was wrong, but it had happened to her so it could happen to others as well.

@Zevruu

Zevruu couldn't even resist the temptation to roll his eyes at Wilder's suggestions. A disagreement with someone? He hardly talked to anyone, much less someone he'd get into a disagreement with. Magic not work the way he wanted it to...well, that was closer. In fact, that probably was it. Maybe if he hadn't done so terribly on those last two spells, he wouldn't be feeling this way.

Well, no. He'd been feeling this way for a while. That spell just heightened the feeling, made him become more aware of it. And the last suggestion? The Spire to hit his head? How would that even be possible?

"I guess...out of any of those, it'd be the magic one. That competition...I failed. Harder than I thought I would." It wasn't just that he had failed, though. It was that final spell that really pushed him over. "And the spells...That final one...it was unlike anything I'd ever done before."

"Speech" l 'Thoughts' | @Wilder

Her smile slowly disappeared. So it was the fault of magic, after all. She glanced back involuntarily and her eyes connected with the glowing form of the Spire. Her stomach jumped and her heart skipped a beat. She turned away quickly before something worse happened.

"It happens," she tried to soothe the serval in a voice much more gentle then it had been a moment ago. "Spells can fail or backfire and they can be...painful." A memory danced in front of her eyes, of a river of blood and the agonizing pain as her magic ripped through her body. She blinked and the pain that was starting to show in her face was gone.

A little more concerned now, she inched forward, her head leaning towards the cat. "What spell? What do you mean?" Something he'd never done? Something so horrible that he had collapsed? A hunger grew in her stomach, unnoticed and unchecked, to have this magic as well. To take it for her own.

@Zevruu

Zevruu blinked at Wilder's gentler voice. He didn't have much time to think on how it was different, though, before she was continuing. Painful...Well, he supposed it had been painful. All those feelings, all at once...

"The spell, I...I don't know what it's called. I do...I think I know how I got it. Some cycles ago, I met...a creature, called the dreamstalker. Some others came across it with me, and we fought it. We won, but...it gave us a spell. A horrible spell."

He glanced at Wilder. "Do not look for the dreamstalker. I doubt we killed it, it's still out there, somewhere. Watching..." At that, his eyes darted around, wondering if it was watching right know. After a moment, he turned back to Wilder, albeit reluctantly. "It's still out there, I'm sure. But it's dangerous. Certainly not something someone such as yourself could take on alone.

"This spell...It caused heightened feelings of...of paranoia. For me, at least. I'm not sure what exactly it does, but it's not good. I hadn't meant to cast it. I never wanted to! I...I had wondered if I'd kept something from that encounter, something I couldn't see but was there nonetheless. And now I guess I know that I have. This wretched spell. I'd give anything for it to be gone," he growled, eyes narrowed.

"Speech" l 'Thoughts' | @Wilder

Wilder listened to the serval with ears perked with interest and eyes glowing with an unreadable expression. She had not heard of the Dreamstalker, nor of any mention of them. That was a strange thing, though, since she had heard many of the most important stories across the caves but that one had somehow been lost to her. She would have to find someone that knew about it, then, if she wanted to find and meet it.

But he seemed to almost read her mind and she pouted. "I can take care of myself!" she protested but shut herself up when he continued. She'd prove herself to him later.

The hunger that was within her only grew at the description of the spell, a hunger that scared Wilder a bit. Why would she want a spell that caused paranoia? That someone who only knew the spell wanted it gone? What kind of monster had created such magic? She shook her head, confused by her own inner turmoil, a frown painting her face. "Then don't use it? You don't have to use magic that you have. I have lots of spells that I don't use all the time! I'm sure that you'll be fine just not casting the spell!" She nodded. Yes. This was the solution. The tense look she had moments ago was fading away at this simple, easy solution. But she still hadn't addressed that horrible hunger within.

@Zevruu

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