Vivilene was growing older and that fact in that of itself was anxiety-inducing, like every other thing in the caves. She wasn't entirely sure how she felt about it; only that it frightened her, just a little bit, to change too far from what she already was. Which was.. a small person with a deer butt who couldn't talk.

Maybe it was a little bit okay to change.

Whenever Vivilene was at battle with herself-- not wanting to change versus hating herself enough to want to change every day --there was a New Thing that helped her to calm down again. Similar to herb-gathering and watching her father plant the seeds and flowers she'd found.

When she tested the limits of her magic she was usually met with painful migraines that blinded her, but she'd managed to succeed in one new thing, that wasn't light or talking into people's heads. She could start to grow plants, sometimes, if she tried very hard.

And she enjoyed it. She kept a Secret Garden-- for fun, really, and to one day surprise her family with when it was all beautiful and nice. Not for any malicious reason, though sometimes it did feel like she was being mean when she snuck out of the camp and tried to make sure nobody was following her.

It was relieving to get there, at least. To push by large swathes of hanging lichen and into sweet-smelling lilacs was comforting in itself. It was nicer to grow them, however. She stepped forward in the grass and knelt by her newest flower-- a large amaranthine lily that reached for one of the hanging lights above.

A friend would be good for it, yes-- her hands planted carefully down into the soil next to it. She concentrated with a long, calming breath and, soon enough, there was the gentle burst of magicka that came through her hands. Gentle. Relaxing. Controlling, in a comfortable way.

She moved them away again when she felt the sprout of a new plant force itself against her palms, leaning down to get a look at it. It looked... healthy, presumably. She'd seen some that came out in a pretty bad state and die within a few days, at least.

Vivilene shuffled backwards, contently, looking around quietly as she tugged her shawl closer around her.

Vivilene took a little breath. Lavender fingers spent a moment touching the little sproutlings underneath her hands, peering up from the ground. She wasn't much a fan of that kind of pale green-- the odd kind of whiteish streaks through it were unnerving to her, somehow. She tried not to let it bother her, however, in the same way that she tried not to let most things bother her.

It's fine, she assured herself as she smoothed out the dirt around the sprouts. As it happened, she was under the impression that nothing bad could happen to her while she was in the Secret Garden; given that no one else knew where it was, or where to find her.

At least-- so she hoped.

She tried not to think about the alternative.

Another long breath and Vivilene was shifting backwards, long legs adjusting underneath her. Tending to the garden was a relaxing enough process at least. It could take her mind off things for a while as she focused on casting instead-- the silvery gemstone glittered against her gut and magicka went through her arms and out her hands and into the soil.

The green sprouts shifted, and then they pushed further upwards. As if lead by string they rose up until they kissed Vivilene's face, the tips growing and inflating into bulbs which split into soft, white petals. For a moment, quietly, the hybrid turned her nose to nuzzle them back.

Her ear flicked. This was fine.

"Ahhh," she hummed to them. Not quite a word, not quite just a sound. It was affectionate, gentle, and she knew that saying nice things to plants would help them grow and blossom. Vivilene couldn't talk. This was as good as it got, and she didn't want to try to inject more magicka into them to try to talk to them directly. Do plants even think..?

Eventually, she nudged the flowers backwards and shifted away from the flowerbed, wrapping the silk shawl tighter around her shoulders. She smiled, quietly, and for the time being-- she simply watched.