strong language

sorta? but, like, neckbeard meme-themed

Wolf Splishy Splashy Fishbeard nodded resolutely at Whale's cooperation. "Yes! Yes!" she paddled back to get out of collision range as the calf turned. Her neckbeard puffed out. "I, Wolf Splishy Splashy Fishbeard-kun, shall defeat the evil Akuma Whale Moan Groan Fartface with the power of my very manga HAIR!!"

The frogfish turned around, and then snapped back in a very arduous slow-motion. Pure hero energy was contained within her bloodshot purple orbs. "Ono! It appears the evil Akuma is wreaking harm to the fish! I must stop her, in the name of EMO PROPHECY!" she dramatically screeched. She swam closer... and closer... and closer... and at the point you'd assume she'd give up on swimming she finally made it the few inches she needed. "Hah! Evil teki, I will defeat you with my super wolf powers and protect... erm..."

Okay, on second thought these lightstings were just as hideous as they were before. Like, look at them! Absolutely atrocious! She would've gagged if not for maintaining the perfect protagonist look. She's the only one allowed to be colorful! They're stealing her brand!

"Hmmm... PLOT CHANGE! Because I said so! Now Wolf Splishy Splashy Fishbeard-kun work with the Evil Akuma Whale Moan Groan Fartface to destroy these hideous limelight-stealers!" Not that she knew what limelight is, anyway. With a big thrust of her flappers and a baring of her imaginary fangs, charging to the lightstings like a man on a mission, she squealed howled:

"BEGONE, THOT!!"

@Whale

Whale Moan Groan Wartface Fartface paused in her lagoon takeover to look at Wolf Splishy Splashy Fishbeard, confused. Wasn't she supposed to be the pro-tag-on-ist? And wasn't that supposed to be a hero type of character? Why would heroes want to destroy these innocent jellyfish-things? The answer, it appeared, was PLOT CHANGE BECAUSE I SAID SO. Not much of an answer, as far as Whale was concerned, and the glowing creatures appeared to be quite agitated. Was this their way of showing excitement, or were they not having as much fun as Whale and Wolf might've thought?

Anyway, what did the... script... require her to do now? Whale was the villain, which meant working against Wolf, right? So she should... protect the "limelight-stealers"? Or was Wolf speaking out of character, as the director and not the protagonist, and telling her that they were both Evil Akuma Villains now?

Either way, she didn't think that Wolf's charging the glowing creatures was a good idea. As far as she could tell, they didn't understand speech or their intentions to play, and Wolf was much smaller than them. "Hey, wait," Whale began, reaching to insert a flipper between frogfish and lightsting, then remembered to act in character. "Uh... HA! What's this? Wolf Splishy Splashy Fishbeard-kun wants to steal Whale Moan Groan Fartface's glory, and share in my rule of this lake? IN YOUR DREAMS! The right to wreak evil villainous destruction is mine and mine alone!" But the movement of a massive flipper through water was much slower than Wolf's charge, and it didn't seem like she was going to reach the fish before she touched the lightstings.

The protagonist's short journey was bound, it seemed, to end in tragedy.

The Lightstings, though perfectly harmless up until now, seemed to panic at the touch and sound: the fish shoving at them sent them spinning, lights flashing frantically... and tentacles striking as they tried to flee.

The stings, at first, were hardly painful: just little needle-pricks, sharp but not agonizing. In fact, mercifully, there was very little pain. But even a brush with the tentacles, were the Lightstings upset, was enough to kill even a massive Gembound: and Wolf was not all that large at all.

It would begin with paralysis: a tightening of the muscles, and then limpness. The neurotoxin's effects would rapidly spread, a brief spasm here and there, a dimming of consciousness... and then nothing but gemstone as the heart muscle itself ceased to beat.

It was very unlikely that Wolf Splishy Splash Fishbeard would avoid this fate, given that a mere touch was enough to kill: but perhaps she could come up with something. And if not, perhaps she would find a lesson in this.

Or a future nemesis.

@Wolf

"What's this? The evil Akuma wants to stop me? Bango! I--"

Wolf Splishy Splashy Fishbeard charged into the fray of tentacles... and was met with a face full of tentacles, oh-so surprisingly. She barely felt it through her ashy fishy skin. Just a few zaps here and there, and the jellyfish receded, leaving behind only a stunned, flabby protagonist.

Her fins stopped swimming. Her blank, transcendently gorgeous face made only a single burble. "Uh oh."

Wolf was not a smart gembound. Quite the opposite, actually. Negative intelligence. She knew that she barelled into those lightstings, and she knew her limbs were now making soft spasms, but she didn't connect the dots between those two or the fact it would soon chrysalize her. Finally, Whale's fin came into the scene, and the frogfish bumped against it with a lame pfftrp.

Despite the neurotoxin coursing through her body, she just pouted. "Heh... it appears there was a HOLE in the PLOT!" she tried to tried to swim to the left to avail, but still seemed to show nothing more than disgruntlement. "NOT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN! ERASED!! Anyways, can you go and push me over so I can actually fight the rainbows?"

@Whale

Wolf rushed the jellyfish. Whale was far behind. Wolf got slapped with a faceful of tentacles. The lightstings retreated. Wolf pfftrped against Whale's fin, seeming to spasm slightly.

That's weird, Whale thought, wondering if small squishy fish were supposed to move like that. Or rather, fail to move. She knew that Wolf wasn't the most agile swimmer, but this was still pretty clumsy for an anime protagonist who wanted to fight rainbow jellyfish many times her size. Also, a hole? I don't see a hole anywhere...? The calf looked around, confused. No holes in sight, only water.

"No more rainbow-fighting for you, Wolf Splishy Splashy Fishbeard," she said firmly, forcibly dragging her attention back to the frogfish. "They didn't like that game. But we can still play with the two of us!" Whale nudged Wolf with her fin, positioning her friend right-side-up in front of her. "Ahem. My rule over this lake is absolute and undisputed! No protagonist will ever topple me! NYEH HEH HEH!!!"

@Wolf