"I won't," Oliver promised, softly. His attention was divided, though--half on the poor rat, half on poor Rift. And... damn. Poor Rift.

He watched the green mountain lion's head sag. Watched him staring down. He was so engrossed in his deep pity that he startled when Rift looked to him again, feeling put abruptly on the spot. "Um," he started, and immediately hesitated.

The truth was, Oliver's sense of the greater passage of time was nonexistent. He didn't know the names of days, or how many cycles he'd lived. So he had to sort of... guess. "...A long time? The last time I saw you was a really long time ago. Like... longer than we knew each other, I think. And then--the Wishing Stone, yes, that's--remember I told you about the Wishing, with my stone and the compass? It was from the stone," he hastened to explain. "That--the stone--it came a lot later. After... I'd last seen you, I mean. A long time." Admittedly that question had sort of been for Yellow, too, but he realized now that he must've not explained enough for Rift to be able to link it to the stone Yellow mentioned.

Softly--afraid to further upset the cougar somehow--he went on. "A lot of Gembounds went there. To the stone. To wish for things," he explained.

@Yellow

Mother's search through the Hive's memories was a whirlwind, and it was all Yellow could do to hold on. Small black fingers curled into the sifaka's own fur, as if clutching to a lifeline as they watched and hoped. There was a truth behind all this, and that truth must be so powerful and beautiful that it would wash away all this sad confusion and suffering. The impossible was possible; even those thought beyond return could return.

Their fingers curled tighter and tighter until they started feeling numb. (Yes, please. They wanted to feel numb for this, warmly insulated by chemicals from the horrible, horrible words Rift was saying, from 'Sebastian is gone. Only I came back,' from the terrible twisted emotion on everyone's faces NO, they didn't need to feel numb, they would keep hoping; these words meant nothing, nothing, not when Rift was as gone as they thought Sebastian to be now and he has returned despite everything; they would keep waiting and hoping and waiting for Sebastian to return too because he MUST.)

They realized there was a look of anticipation on Rift's face--oh, yes, he had asked a question. Had it been meant for Oliver or them? They weren't sure, but they replied anyway. "Yes, long ago. I woke up, and I wandered for a long time, before I found Mother. After that, it was... many, many cycles until the singing stone appeared. And then at least as many cycles again until..." They felt out of breath despite standing still. It was unbelievable, yet so believable. People came back from 'death' in their chrysalis, didn't they? It wasn't so impossible for them to come back from death death too. "Until you came back. Here." They laughed a little. Rift looked so sad. Why was he sad? It was such a fantastic, wonderful thing. A miracle. And if one miracle had happened, why not another? If the singing stone had granted miracles, and then the strange figure in Paradise, then clearly there was someone out there who could do it. And those someones had come to the caves in the past. Why not again in the future? They would wait breathlessly for that moment, however long it took.

"Don't... don't be sad, Rift." They were smiling now, golden eyes wide again. Hopeful? Yes, that was it. "You're here, aren't you? After such a long time! Who knows how long we'll have to wait for Sebby... but now we know it's possible!" They could keep waiting. Eventually, they would be reunited, even if cycles and cycles and cycles had passed. Cycles and cycles had already passed, hadn't they? And now they were one step closer.

acceptance? what's that? i only know the zero stages of grief because why grieve when you could have whatever this is

MOTHER

A Lost Little Lamb

The Hivemind was in a whirl. Mother's thoughts ran swift, and behind it the undercurrents of a hundred eyes, dozens of minds riveted in somber (or curious) silence on the proceedings. Input was offered, here and there, the soft caress of unspoken suggestion one way or another.

The Hive considered and, perhaps for the first time, it reached a decision not via Mother's guidance, but overall consensus. It was as though, were Mother to pull back now, to retreat into the unknown from whence she had come, the Hive could now function on its own. This new sense of Being snapped slowly into place, the pieces of a puzzle at last all falling together.

Behind this dropping curtain, though, Mother was still there. Her own caress, almost absent in its motherly kindness, was cast across Yellow's mind. They did not need to be numb; yes, she understood. But they didn't need to suffer so terribly, either. The grief was not taken from them, but it was lessened, comforted and soothed by the warm sensation of embrace.

Then she relayed the Hive's decision, speaking once more through the voice of the Gray.

"Yellow retrieved... the stones. Their fate... is up to them. If they wish to return them to you... a gesture of goodwill... old friendship. We do not claim them." The rat paused, not as though weak this time, but as though Mother were taking a moment to think. "The Ruby... If you return this to life. It will be... a new child. A hybrid creature. We can... recreate it... as you knew. Imbue it with... Yellow's memories... of Sebastian. It would not be perfection. But it would be... closer. It would also be... Hive."

This offer granted, it fell silent.

Either way, the Hive would feel Mother's certainty that this development (certainly very sad, yes) was good for the Hive. A blessed chance for them to show their benevolence to yet more Gembounds--and this one, she thought, perhaps an influential sort in his day. Maybe again, in the future. It would not be a bad thing to have him... not an ally, necessarily. But not an enemy, either.

@Rift

He felt sick. He felt his stomach churning, as if threatening to regurgitate what meal he had last but at the same time it was hollow, like he had never eaten in his life. His skin tingled uncomfortably and his ear pressed firm against his head as he tried to swallow the grief that was threatening to overwhelm his senses. This was...a lot. Too much. He needed time to process all of this, to sit in his garden and watch the world turn by and think. Make sense of what he was hearing.

Sebastian was dead. He was dead. He had come back, but did that mean Sebastian would too? Why had he come back? What powers could do that?

But the thing that stuck out in his mind at the moment was the scale of time. It had happened a long time ago. Cycles, for sure, perhaps full years had passed since he had been killed. Killed by...miasma? Because that made so much sense! He looked towards Oliver and for a moment felt a flash of anger. He had felt comfort with this gembound, a kinship. He could remember that they'd been friends, that he trusted him. But he hadn't even known. He had gone on for longer then they'd known each other without even looking for him, without checking up on his old friend. And all that time, he'd been dead! And this gembound, whom he had no memories of, who he felt nothing for but a faint revulsion for their association with the fungus that he had marked as an enemy of his cultivation, they knew. They cared. They were trying to comfort and connect, they showed genuine joy that he was back, and hope that Sebastian was too!

His tail lashed behind him and his claws sunk into the cold ground beneath his paws. He trembled, feeling the cold wind against his pelt once again. He shook his head. "Stop," he whispered. "Just. Stop it. He's not..." He sniffed and cut himself off, looking away, trying to escape that thought and statement of finality that he had been threatening to say. His eyes locked back towards Oliver. "You didn't...look for me? All that time?" They needed to talk. A lot. What had happened between them?

What had he done to drive such a good soul away?

He stared for a moment, the anger melted away to a deep sorrow that felt like a void in his gut. So hollow and empty and yawning that he wanted to scream and claw himself apart, if only to alleviate this horrible feeling. He wanted to sink to the ground, let the snow cover him as he sat, still and cold, until he didn't have to think anymore, until every nerve had frozen until nothing remained but a husk of the cat that had once been. Until only his brother's flame could even home to melt him out.

Slowly, he turned back to Yellow. "Do you have them? I...I would like mine...back. Sebastian's too but...I'd understand if..." He shook his head. How could he ask such a thing of the sifaka? They didn't know each other. It felt wrong, when they were so full of an impossible hope, when Rift felt like a puppet on strings, each word written by an unknown master.

To the rat, he shook his head almost immediately. "That is kind of you, but...no, I...I don't know if I would give life to them. Not yet, at least." He didn't explain how strange it would feel, to give life to his own stone and look at his own face staring back at him. But could he give life to one and not the other? No, it wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be right.

@Oliver

Oliver's attention was struggling, and split. Half of him was closely inspecting the rat, a creature he'd been gradually shuffling closer to. An owlish head tilted this way and that as he regarded it, trying to discern why it was so thin, how he might help it... but his mind was also on the conversation. Devastating news, monkey's paw offers... he didn't like any of it. The faint premonition of dread was coming true.

Then--Rift, a soft and pained demand, one that spun him (or rather, his head) entirely around. He stared, blinking, over his shoulder, feeling quite caught out. As Rift stared, he hesitated, and rallied. He didn't feel guilty, really but he did feel bad; Rift was hurting, and he empathized.

But he wasn't sure how much the cat knew or remembered, even from within the last few hours, so he gathered himself before offering a few quiet words. "I didn't know if you were in your stone. We do that, sometimes-... if you forgot. Sleep in our stones, for cycles or... longer. But... we weren't talking anymore. I didn't-..." Here he interrupted himself, visibly hesitating as his beak clacked shut.

'I didn't want to talk to you' was far too harsh, and Oliver fought to quickly rephrase it.

"I didn't come to Eridanus anymore. After-... the Blackberry thing." He wondered if Rift would ask about that. He was still angry, distantly, to this day. It was an injustice and nothing else could make him angry; he was generally so tolerant, so kind and forgiving. It wasn't the forgiveness that had bothered him. It'd been the unilateral decision Rift had made, without consulting any of the rest of them who'd suffered. That had not, in his mind, been fair--but could he blame this Rift for that..?

This Rift, maybe not even the same Rift, who didn't remember any of it?

It was with a genuinely noble effort that he decided that he could not, pushing all that aside indefinitely. "I was mad. I didn't want to speak to you again," he said at last, softly but honestly. Earnestly, willing the cougar to understand. "But I'm not mad... now. I'm sorry I didn't look for you. It wasn't that... nobody cared. You had lots of friends, but... People go to sleep, that's all."

That sounded better than "everyone you know is gone."

He hoped.

@Yellow

The gentle warmth of Mother's embrace fell over them, more present than the usual hum of love whenever they did something good. It felt nice. Solid. Something for them to lean on, to hold onto for security when they were still buzzing with nervous energy. (Nervous energy? Why was that?) A sense of certainty fell over them, a solid conviction that bolstered their heart. This was good, yes, for them and the Hive (what was good for the Hive was always good for them, after all). The dead returned, the hope that another might too, however many cycles it would take. (They would wait as long as they needed.) A chance for the Hive to once again extend its kindness to those who needed support.

Despite the sifaka's attempted reassurances, Rift just looked sadder and sadder. Yellow didn't quite know what to do. A hug, perhaps--Mother's embrace always made them feel better, after all, and a physical hug was the closest thing for a non-Hive member. But Rift didn't look like he wanted a hug from them.

...They hadn't been very close before the fire, and now Rift didn't remember them, but... he was still family, as far as Yellow was concerned. Sebastian's brother; their brother. They couldn't stand seeing him so sad like this.

The stones! That was something Rift wanted that they could give. "Yes, of course," they blurted without hesitation. "Hold on, they're right around here." Right beneath them, hidden in the vast network of tunnels that kept them, and all of the Hive, safe. They turned and darted back into the tunnels where they came from, leaping through the maze as fast as they could. Perhaps they could have asked a Cleaner to retrieve it for them while they stayed with Rift and Oliver, but they felt like their heart was about to burst next to the vast sadness that enveloped the green cat--and not in a good way. Running to retrieve the stones at least gave them something to do.

Minutes later, they reemerged, green chrysoberyl and gleaming ruby cradled carefully in their arms. "I-- here." They reached out, offering the gemstones to Rift and suddenly feeling a bit light-headed. Strangely, they found themselves wishing the ruby could stay, but that was selfish, selfish, when Rift clearly needed it much more. They had Mother and the Hive and the ironclad hope that Sebastian, too, would one day return. Rift... they didn't know. They hoped he could escape this heavy sadness somehow.

"..." Yellow found the atmosphere suffocating, and hard to speak in. They inhaled and tried again. "Can... where are you going to go, now? Can I... visit you sometimes?" It felt awkward, making such a request when Rift didn't remember them. They couldn't, and didn't really want to imagine, what Rift would feel as he answered. But it felt too sad not to ask, too frightening to entertain the possibility that they wouldn't see Rift or Sebby's stone again for a long, long time. Another selfish thing; would Mother, who had always taught them to love and work for the good of others and the Hive, forgive them?

MOTHER

A Lost Little Lamb

There was little to do, now, or to say. Behind Yellow's consciousness lurked the constant bustle of Hive movement, of course. Praetors had made their way through the tunnels, moving aside to allow the sifaka past each way. They lurked in the dark, but had mostly earned a 'stand down' thought from Mother, albeit wordless. Rift and his companion seemed to pose no immediate threat, and the initial alarm that had threaded through all of the Hive had now passed. A dozen minds still watched the gathering with varying intensities of focus, which was a feedback all its own.

But the only real thing she said, and this to Yellow's mind, was a soft whisper of promise: "We can always find him for you." The Hive had its eyes everywhere.

Yellow would never lose a friend, not like this and not again. Although it still bore the question: where was Sebastian..? A puzzle for another day. For now, Mother's interest was piqued toward Rift.

How had the dead truly come back to life..?

@Rift

He stared at Oliver for a long moment, the numbness just spreading and covering everything with a blanket of nothing. Everything felt far away, like he was looking and hearing down a long tunnel. There was a look in his eye that told Oliver We're gonna talk about this later because he needed to know what the hell had happened between them. What had made Oliver so mad that he left him, seemingly for good? Who was Blackberry? (although he knew her - the name opened a pit of dread and guilt in his stomach and he imagined teeth and spikes and black and white and brown) Did he know that miasma? What had happened to everyone else?

So much time he had missed. So much of his life had been lost.

His head felt overwhelmingly full for some reason. So different from how it had felt not long ago, when he had first crawled out of a chrysalis, feeling fresh and alive and ready. Now he felt weighed down by memories he couldn't reach, a life he hadn't lived. Was this what it had been like before? It was...miserable.

But all encompassing was his grief for his brother. He wanted to curl up and cry until there were no more tears left to spill, until his voice went hoarse and he couldn't scream anymore, until he slipped between the worlds where he might see those burning eyes again, that comforting heat, that rumbling voice he heard in his dreams. Brother of his soul. Lost and gone now.

Suddenly, he couldn't be here anymore. Not in the white snow, not near this hive-creature that threatened his forest, that he played nice with but couldn't decide how to feel about. Not with Oliver looking at him like that or Yellow trying to cheer him up. He needed to be alone. For a long time.

It felt both like forever and no time at all had passed before the stones were being handed to him. Both. He stared at the ruby for a while, that grief crashing in like a wave again at the physical confirmation that Sebastian was dead. He stared blankly at it for a while before his eyes shifted to the chrysoberyl. Sure enough, it was a familiar size and shape, exactly the same as the one that took the place of his right ear.

So there it was.

He looked up towards Yellow again and for a moment, his spirit flared up. The kindness, the welcoming love he had once displayed in his old, old youth. He smiled and tilted his head. "Home, Eridanus. The big tree, if you remember it. You are always welcome, of course. But...give me time, please? A few cycles. I need...to process all this. And decide what I'm going to do. This is a lot." It was only a few moments before it cracked again and the smile fell and he returned to staring at the crystals in front of him. He needed to leave.

@Oliver

Oliver watched in silence, at first. Rift's look didn't earn any expression of recognition or emotion from him, just that blank, owlish observance--but maybe it was hard for an owl's face to do much of anything. Or maybe his mind was wandering?

In reality, he was just... concerned. He hardly cared if Rift were angry, or what have you. He was more worried about the mountain lion. The "you're always welcome," directed at Yellow, left Oliver glancing the sifaka's way and wondering. Welcome..? We've tried so hard to clear the fungus, but he didn't say anything aloud. It felt like... not the time, maybe.

Maybe he could come back later. Talk to the Hive himself, ask them to stop being jerks.

For a moment, an idea bloomed in his heart. Peace--could there be peace? If he talked to whoever ran the Chaos side, and maybe to this Mother, maybe he could convince them both to give ground. To coexist instead of killing one another. Was that even possible..? But then his gaze happened upon Rift again as he looked around, and he immediately set these thoughts aside. Rift's grief was obvious; he was in turmoil.

Oliver hopped a little closer to him. "That's your stone," he pointed out, softly, "and you're still alive. So... there's hope." For Sebastian, he meant. Then he hesitated, a sudden logistical problem pointing itself out. "Um--do you need help? Carrying the stones?" He had talons he could carry things with, although he'd also need to get this rat out of here, plus carrying his compass. But the gemstones--Rift only had teeth. Oliver wasn't sure he'd be able to cram both into his jaws and even then, teeth exposed to this ice and snow seemed... unpleasant, at best. "I can carry one, or--both, or... I can go and get a basket?" he offered, very quiet.

Then a thought occurred to him and he turned, blinking, toward the snow underfoot. Could he just... grow a basket, here and now? He'd used the pumpkins for it before, at least. A taloned foot spread for the snow, as if grasping for something not there, and he concentrated--and after a moment, a slightly lopsided, relatively small pumpkin formed from the frozen earth below. Oliver spent a moment using talons and beak to open a hole in the top, though he left the stem intact; he hollowed it as best he could (it'd still be slimy, though) with a few swipes of his feet, then turned it toward Rift. "You could put them in here, and carry it by the stem?"

His attention then turned to Yellow. He gave a little nod of acknowledgment, not wanting to ignore the sifaka. "Thank you," he offered, not sure what else to say.

@Yellow

Yellow would never lose a friend again. A promise, whispered with the assurance of the Hive behind it. They knew it to be true! They knew it in the eyes (family) everywhere across the caves, the starlit eyes of the divine being who'd revealed the gift of iterations, and the unbreakable mental bond that linked them all, now and forever. It steeled their faith and resolve as the stones changed hands, though the heartbroken look on Rift's face made them wish he could be part of the Hive too, so he could also partake in its comfort.

They gave an emphatic nod as Oliver also tried to offer some hope for Sebastian's return, though they didn't know if Rift would acknowledge it. He looked... far off. The idea of being left alone was strange to them now, having lived with the Hive for so long, but Yellow guessed that the cougar must really need the alone time from how he looked. "Thank you," they replied eagerly to Rift's offer of welcome. It was good to see the warmth in his voice and expression again. They were glad he could find that warmth, even without the Hive's gentle guidance--they had been worried that he might not. They didn't know what they would have done without Mother and the Hive, if they hadn't had this family when the Wishing Stone had appeared.

A few cycles for Rift to process it all-- "Yes, of course," they said immediately. "If-- if the alone time helps you feel better. But- but if you ever feel worse from being alone, tell one of us! One of the birds or mice or others in the Hive. You... don't have to be alone, either! But you can! I mean, if you wanted!"

They wrung their hands together as Oliver made a pumpkin basket for the gems. "Thank you," they replied. "For... for being here." Both Oliver, for being here to help Rift, and Rift, for... returning. A miracle. "I guess... it's goodbye, then? I'll see you in a few cycles, maybe...?"