Perhaps maybe - just maybe - Eve was not cut out for the whole 'parenthood' thing. White was doing okay - but she was under care of someone else. Oliver was alright - but had she not been ready to abandon him at a moment's notice? She tried to justify it to herself - that Oliver had Aquarian's children and he'd never be truly alone, but... Was she so selfish of a person? To abandon her own child by blood in a moment's notice, just because he wouldn't walk with her to a new place, filled with new people? What of Ashtoreth? She had never seen her since Cetus. What of Ryuk and Umber, or Maeve? How many children had she stupidly taken under her wing only to abandon at a moment's notice? What of Eosphoros? The crow felt herself wince; she had grown so frustrated at the foal's inability to hear her, no matter how loudly she screamed or swore directly into his broken ears. What had happened to them? Had they met the same fate as Tal'at? Was there anything she could do? Now? The answer was no. Eve was simply too late - and she knew it. If they were dead, they were long gone - nothing more than the gemstones that once adorned their bodies. Nothing more than cold, coloured rocks lying in someone else's nest or at the bottom of a dragon's pit. There was nothing Eve could do for her 'children' now, so why was she bothering now? For many cycles she had left them. perhaps under the assumption that a deaf foal can fend for himself, that a mute hybrid could cry for help, that flightless birds could hunt for themselves. She was a horrible person. Who was she trying to prove a point to now, other than herself? There was no one around as the tiny crow frantically fluttered across the caves and into Orion. It was the place she had been born into - where she met Dark and Bevy. Where were they now? Possibly in Pisces, though she hadn't seen or heard them there. She thought of the vague memory of the black and red bird, hunting for her child - the owlet she had seen. He was blind. Bevy did not leave the owl alone to fend for himself, to hunt his own food, to teach himself to fly. Bevy was a good mother. Eve was not. All Eve could do was scream and make bright lights. Dragon could create fire. Dragon could - and had - killed others. Dragon did not abandon his children - he didn't abandon Czernobog, ever. Dragon was of use. Dragon could care for the children he took in. Dragon was a good father, and Eve was a horrible, useless mother. The crow turned her head up to look at the silvery quartz engraved onto the top of the cave ceiling. The very sight of the 'stars' had comforted her once - a long time ago, now. Before she could fly, before she had Giggle to feed her - before she met Dragon and before she knew that there was such a thing as a monster who lived within Cetus. That was so long ago now - but she wouldn't want to go back. She was a bad mom; but that didn't mean she didn't want to go back to a time where her children didn't exist; when Eve didn't know they ever would exist. The crow breathed in. She didn't know what she was here for now, but here she was. There was no point in crying out for the son she had lost cycles upon cycles ago - even if he were hear, the call would simply fall onto broken ears. Was that her fault? That his ears never worked? Eve tried to shake it off as she stared out across Orion. She promptly decided that it didn't matter if she saw Eosphoros or not - it didn't matter if she found the yellow gemstone that had once been engraved into his chest. Even if he were still alive, still living and breathing and wandering around the caves, it wouldn't matter. Dead or not, he wouldn't be able to hear her apologies. table code © rasta 2015

@Eosphoros

Alive alive alive alive his sister was alive and breathing and hurt and not safe and he had to get her out of here now. He'd stayed with her as long as he could, but he needed to at least keep up appearances, not draw attention, because the demons had already hurt her and the angels - the angels - the angels wouldn't approve.

It had been the doe.

He was sure of it.

The doe with poisonous words and sharp knives and bright light that cut into his brain, her brain, both of them, please stop and left them uneven and jagged, leaking grey matter onto the floor. The oil that slicked his front hadn't stopped coming, and he'd begun to panic, now, rather than feel comforted. It had stopped covering the wounds and started to inch across unharmed silver pelt, and he couldn't get it to stop, a survival instinct gone awry.

The stars glared down at him, judgement held in their shine, why aren't you saving her ḁ̣͍̖̹r̹̲̯̙̙̞͖ȩ͈̗͎̪̫̫̺ ͓͎̩̺y͔͞o̠̲̟̦̘̟ͅù̗̻͓̱ ̦̞̰͙̟g̷͔̯o͞i̡͇̞͍n̛̩̙̺̻͕̤̲g̸̘̗͇ ̺͈t̙̜̗̤o͟ ͈͈͖̙̲͢ṟ͙̖̬̼̻͎͠u͘n̹̞̰ ̛̭͚̺͖̗a͚̞̲w̢̦̳̪ͅͅa̱̹̜̭̩͠y̶͕͓̦̜̙̰̭ ̷̥a̯̹͉̯̞̙g҉̘̤̖̩a͕͎̦͙̝͙̺i̩̳͕̞̻̠n͕̬̝͝?̛̦̦ coward but he has to be strong, strong enough to get her away from here.

Strong enough to leave her when he does.

He's not. Not yet.

But he will be.

For now, he moves slowly, hooves intentionally gentle against the stone floor, slinking through the ruins of Orion. He had to make sure the angels didn't doubt him, didn't take his duty away, because if they did - he needed them. Needed them to teach him, to tell him how to walk for more than a few minutes without feeling like he could collapse, breath coming in panicked gasps, chest caked in dried blood. He has to learn to become a weapon, because he can't let the doe close again, again, again; he'll end up in tiny pieces on the ground, and she'll eat them all with that smile.

He couldn't let himself be so weak because he'd already lost her once and he'll lose her again and he won't survive it, not for long, he'll go back to the tunnel to die because it isn't worth it. Not when he's finally found her.

White feathers.

He hasn't found the black wings.

They circle, mockingly, chasing his forgotten name around like an insect, a smooth black beak digging into its flesh. He remembers so little of her, her, he knows it's Her like the feathers but he doesn't know who.

She's important.

He gets a chill up his spine, remembers the snow-filled tunnel, shakes with it. The feel of falling from the sky, golden arrows piercing his ears. He remembers that. He just doesn't remember her.

After. He'll save his sister, he'll come back, he'll find Her.

Even if he can't be whole again, he can help them to be.

@Eve