The place where Pride had burned the Earth had refused to grow back most of its life. He didn't blame Pride for it, not at all, but saw it as a place of memory, containing the evil that had plagued his forest during the battle. It was the center of all the memories, all the horror and wounds. It was a dark place but as Rift sat among the burned, destroyed earth, he had a sudden idea.

Right in the center of the hollow, he dipped his head and gently touched the earth. The ground shifted and small sprouts began to push their way past the blackened dirt and blossomed into flowering rosemary. It was a small patch but Rift preferred it as such. Plants grown by magic were not as special as those grown by hand. He would care for these and finish their growth without the use of magic.

He stepped back to admire his work and he suddenly found himself shivering with emotion. Rosemary...it was a plant of remembrance. He would remember those that had been injured and fallen in the war, those that would have given their lives if their own crystals had not saved them. And the berry child...crushed to death. He had tried to kill him in the fight. He had felt that deep instinct to tear and maim, the primal cougar urge to rip into his fur and destroy him. His stomach turned at the memory of the feeling. He could not...he could not ever be like that again.

He had paid his price, though, for that evilness. He had thrown himself right into it. Blackberry may not have won in the way she wanted, but she had defeated him. She had wounded him with her hatred. She had sent her children to destroy his forest and tear apart his own family. And for him...worst of all...they took away his face.

His paw came up and pressed at the bark-like texture of his mask and found himself shivering worse when it did not touch the skin underneath. It only touched a plate, something unnatural. He hated it. He wanted things to go back to how they were. He wanted to think that the war had never happened, that this Hollow place didn't exist. That Enka was a regular deer again, that Sebastian was at his side and grooming the fur on his head. That he didn't have the responsibilities of the Kingdom. That the Kingdom wasn't even needed.

He sat there, wishing that this reality was gone, his whole body shaking uncontrollably as he mourned.

@Enka

It was a rare moment when her cub charge was resting and Enka found herself travelling. Not too terribly far, no. She didn’t want the cub to awaken without her reassuring touch and smell nearby. But there was a place she wanted to visit that she could not bring Atinneas to. Not yet at any rate. So while the young cub rested, she wandered.

Before long, her hooves led her to the clearing that had once been Rift’s home. She had fallen during the midst of the battle while a blur of movement both real and imagined had occurred. Even now, it was difficult to make sense of the battle in her mind. So, for whatever reason, she longed to see what had happened to it.

And what had happened … was not pretty. This part of the forest was still charred and burned from the damage that occurred. Enka could not hide the grasp that escaped her throat as it began to tighten. Tears welled up in her eyes. She had spent so much time in her youth here under Rift’s care …. This was nothing short of a tragedy.

Then she noticed the figure standing in the midst of the hollow. Her heart ached to see him sitting them among his ruined home. As terrible as it felt for her, she could not imagine how it was for him. She wanted to run to him, to reassure him that everything was going to be alright. But she realized with a start, that for once, she wasn’t sure. Already she had nearly died twice; once by the fire’s and its smoke swarming around her as she foolishly rushed in and once by such terrible creatures that she had changed forever. Even with Atinneas, she was scared that something might happen.

So instead, Enka walked slowly forward. This was easier with her long tail anyways. Head lowered, ears back, she walked forward to where Rift sat. And for a moment, she didn’t say a word. She just sat in his presence and mourned with him.

---

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Tags: @Rift
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Rift didn't hear Enka approaching as he continued to shiver in the small hollow in the corner of his garden. He could hear everything in the forest, so used to the sounds he had become that anything that was not the gentle rustle of wind or lessers he could detect. But he didn't this time, so lost in memories and grief that he couldn't notice her approaching.

When she sat down beside him, though, he didn't react further then a glance to see who it was. He remembered that he wasn't the only one who had changed. Long fur and scales adorned his daughter now but he couldn't help but selfishly think that at least she still looked like Enka. Him? Nobody could ever see his face now.

But the thought melted away quickly. He didn't care that she had at least had a kinder mutation, the fact that she had gone through it, that somebody had harmed her so severely that her body could not recover, sweet, gentle Enka, it boiled his blood and made him despair further for the world they lived in. There was so much evil...how would they deal with it all?

After a moment of sitting there with his daughter, Rift finally broke the silence. "How are you...coping with everything?" He glanced her way, eyes filled with concern. And he didn't just mean her mutation, although he was sure that it would take adjustment. No, he needed to know how the battle was affecting her. How the memories of such violence and injustice were weighing on her. He had seen Oliver after the fight. The hybrid had once been full of life and joy but now he was subdued, nervous, struck so hard by trauma that Rift feared he would not come back. He dearly hoped that nobody else was bearing the torment in such a terrible way.

@Enka

She didn’t break the silence, but simply embraced it for what it was. It was a comfort simply being in the presence of the one who meant the most in the world to her. So, the two simply remained in silence for a time.

Though while Rift’s thoughts were focused inward, Enka’s was locked on the outside world; specifically, on that of her mentor. She had been reminded recently of her first encounter with the feline. His fur had started taking on a greenish hue and plants hung on his pelt. While Rift was more distressed about the loss of his face, it was this change, the loss of his plants that were a part of him as much as his fur and claws and eyes, that hit Enka the hardest. He was a guardian to the plants and it was obvious from the moment you saw him.

Now … He was so different. There was no mistaking his voice but his appearance and his stance were all … wrong. She too had thought about her own changes. Nature and her stone had been kind to her. Perhaps it was due to the nature of her death, surprisingly simple though striking, that her changes too had been kind to her. There was, of course, no way to tell. But with Rift it was almost a cruelty in a sense. Instead of appearing like the peaceful gardener and teacher he was, he now appeared more ready for the next battle to come. And his stance spoke that he was ready for the next thing he’d lose. This hurt more than seeing the hallow formed so close to his home.

Then the moment passed and Rift spoke. Enka turned away from him to look over the hollow and the surrounding area. It was a more difficult question than she had realized. Maybe because it was still all slowly sinking in that things were truly different now; changed in ways that can never go back. So much of it seemed so unreal, like a terrible dream. It was almost more like a dream than the terrible visions she had seen during the battle. Like at any moment, she would awaken still in her chrysalis to hatch back to a life not much different than before. That was what brought her here, after all. To try and prove what was really true.

“I… I am coping. It doesn’t seem real, does it? How did so much change in so short a time?” She gave a deep breath as she turned to face her mentor again. “It’s hard for me to believe sometimes. I’m … I’m scared.” Brown eyes closed as she paused for a moment in her thoughts, a quiver beginning to form. “First the fire and then this. I could do nothing but watch the destruction happen. Watch as you got hurt, and Uncle Sebastian, and so many others. And now you … and this place …. I feel scared that it could happen again.”

Tears threatened once more, but she fought against that urge. “I’m watching over the young cub that was at our hatching. And I’m so scared that something may happen to her. I don’t know how to keep that fear from her or how to handle it.” And at that, her words growing shakier, she began to cry. Her heart ached as tears flowed down her face. Her head lowered into the grown, trying to breath in the scent of the earth to steady her breathing even if the dirt was stained and tainted.

“I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to lose you, or Sebastian, or Atinneas, or anyone else,” she whispered between shuddering breaths.

---

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Tags: @Rift
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Rift turned towards Enka when she began to speak, every word that she said making him feel worse. He remembered when she had hatched. So gentle, so innocent. Her love for the forest mirrored his own dedication and teaching her everything he knew, walking through the forest and listening to the sounds, growing flowers and herbs together...it had been the best time of his life. But now, now that was behind him. He didn't know if he would ever be able to do anything like that again. And, even if they did, would it ever be the same? With his own responsibilities to the Kingdom and the scars both of them had suffered from the battle, scars that may never heal, he wondered if he would ever feel such happiness again.

He looked away, his throat clenching up at the thought. His claws slunk out of their sockets and sunk into the ground as he tried to control his shivering. It had been a long time since he had felt such intense emotions before. His grief for the lost past and the carefree future that would never come back, his sorrow and pain for what had happened to his family and friends, all of the physical wounds and the emotional scars they had suffered, and his anger, his hatred towards those Bloodberries, towards Blackberry, for tearing apart everything he ever knew.

And, most of all, guilt. This had all happened because of him. He could have died...he should have just died. If he had not sent the tree shaking, then Enka would still be the gentle, loving springbok. No scales or draconic features. Sebastian would not be weighed down by his own failures, the long coma would not have damaged his mind. And poor Oliver would be himself again, not ruined by trauma and terrible memories. And the berry child, even though he was an enemy, his life was still precious. He would not have died.

This was too much for Rift. He let out a low, mourning moan, his eyes squeezed shut as he sunk to the ground, hise nose buried in the small tuft of rosemary he had grown. "I-I'm sorry...you would never have had to cope with it if not for me. You would be yourself and so would everyone else! If I had not been so weak all that time ago, Blackberry would not have come back. If I was a better protector...a better father, I would never have let that wolf even touch you or anyone else! But I failed, I failed to protect my family! My home! I failed everything!"

Rift shuddered. "You shouldn't have to be afraid. You shouldn't have to feel responsible! I've dubbed myself the Guardian of Eridanus and when Eridanus needed me most...I couldn't do it. I COUDLN'T!" As he screeched the last bit the rosemary in front of him quivered as as spark of intense rolled through his body and out his nose, which was touching the young plant. A second later, the plant darkened and crumpled into ash at the smoldering touch, something that Rift certainly didn't miss.

He jerked back and felt his entire body fill with anger, not fully comprehending what had just happened. He swiped away the ashes with his claws, his eyes snapping open, blazing with fury. "I hate them," he spat suddenly. "I hate all of them! Blackberry, the wolf, those three hybrids too...we should have killed them!" His anger was so terrible and so sudden that his shivering turned into a violent quaking as every inch of his body felt the strength of his anger. It was like he had completely forgotten Enka was there, focusing on the pile of ash as he claws dug into the earth. Was he imagining them sinking into the flesh of the goose and her spawn?

@Enka

Wide eyed Enka turned her tear stained face to Rift in a mixture of shock and horror as mentally he began to spiral deeper and deeper into his failings. Enka’s heart ached to hear him speak the way he did. To hear him blame himself solely for the pain the forest had felt, the pain their specifically felt, everything as though it was his fault. Then to hear his mind spiral from despair to rage, lashing out at the true cause of all their misery.

But no … even that wasn’t right. It wasn’t their fault. Perhaps it was Blackberry’s fault as the cause of all that, but surely something happened to cause her to be that way. But it wasn’t the fault of their children and it hurt her to hear Rift accuse them so. Rift, whose heart was normally filled with so much peace and charity now filled with anger and hatred. It was so wrong.

Her stomach clenched and it took all she had to keep from heaving at just how terribly wrong it all was. Instead Enka stood up, going closer to her father and draping her neck along his back so that her long head could press against the side of his, being careful to avoid the strange antlers he now had. She even attempted a bit of a purr, but the sound was more of a strange, and very much humorous gargle than a measure of comfort. Tears still came, but less forceful than before. After all, part of her duty by both nature and the nurture of Rift was to care for others.

“It’s not your fault. I-I blame myself for not being able to help you or the forest. We-“ she gulped, “we both failed that day. But that is nature. Plants come from small seeds, to plants and then trees. And then they fall again, to become a new plant and tree.” As she spoke, the small bits of ash still remaining at Rift’s paws shivered, before a new rosemary sprung upwards once more.

“You taught me that Rift. I’m … I’m scared of the fall. That perhaps at some point we might not recover again.” Her mind went to the Berry member that fell to not return. “But that is the way of nature….”

She meant for her words to be a comfort, but it was a struggle. She wanted to be strong, as it seemed her father needed it more than she. But it was difficult when the fears rang in her mind so often. She wanted to become stronger, to be able to keep from such loss again, but didn’t know how to. And was scared to go down that path. It was difficult to comfort another when one’s own heart was breaking. But despite the tears, she couldn’t let Rift continue falling. The kingdom needed him now.

… She needed him now.

---

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Tags: @Rift
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Rift continued to shake with anger, watching the ashes drift from his paw, when Enka's words brought a new batch of rosemary to take the place of the one he had burned. It was a sentiment he hadn't really been expecting, but watching this new rosemary grow, stronger and more beautiful then the last among the ashes of the first, it clicked something in his head.

He pulled back with mostly surprised and his eyes softened as he turned towards Enka again. The rage fell away to be replaced by a whole lot of guilt. He had always promised to protect nature and here he was destroying it and wishing death on those who probably didn't deserve it. It was Blackberry who had wreaked such havoc on the forest. It wasn't his fault, nor was it her children's.

He sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry...I...it's been hard for all of us. Growing back is the hardest part, I think." He gazed over her face and stood up a little taller so he could lean forward and rub the underside of his chin against her cheek. It was the best he could do now. "You won't fall. Nature be damned, I won't let anything like that happen to any of you ever again. I won't fail ever again, or else I'm not fit to call myself the Guardian of Eridanus." His words were sincere and strong, probably the most confident he had said in the last few minutes.

@Enka

Enka was pleased and greatly relieved as Rift’s stance changed from one of anger and rage to a gentler tone. The guilt that oozed from him was still unnerving to see, but it was so much better than the rage that seemed so utterly unnatural to the feline. His mask and antlers, too though, were so unnatural to him though. Just as this face was now his new normal, would this shaking of emotions also be? It was a deeply unnerving thought that sent a shiver along Enka’s spine. The idea that Rift could be broken in such a way was unthinkable. He was the forest’s guardian. More than that, he was her guardian.

As Rift nuzzled her check gently, she found herself leaning deeply into the gesture. Her body still trembled, though she tried to smother it. It reminded her too much of that terrible fight. She never wanted to see him fight like that ever ago. Or anyone fight like that. She felt that she would fight if Rift, or Sebastian, or even little Atinneas was in trouble but the very idea of it made her want to immediately flee. Even now, her body twitching without her mind’s consent, she wanted to flee to avoid the conversation at hood. It hurt so much to talk about, to think about.

Gentle brown eyes closed as she pressed her face deep into what parts of Rift’s neck fur she could reach. She inhaled the familiar scent deeply, the touch she had known all her life. “No. No, it won’t happen again. Never, never again.”

Her words may have sounded as though reassuring Rift in his ability to protect both her and the forest. Yet it was deeply selfish sounds that fled her fearful mouth. She wouldn’t allow such a thing to happen again. Deep down, she didn’t know if she could survive another incident. She still hadn’t told Rift about her folly in trying to fight the Eridanus fires even!

Never again would she be placed in such danger. She’d never allow it. She’ll manage somehow to avoid it all, to go back to the nice simple life she once had. After all, she now had a young lion cub to care for. She would give Atinneas the same kind of life she had had, one of only joy and love. Never again would fear enter her life.

---

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Tags: @Rift
Notes:

Rift could feel a bit of confidence coming back and leaned a bit into Enka's nuzzling. Perhaps the one good thing about the battle was that it had drawn everyone so much closer together, although he wasn't actually sure if that was something he would call "good".

In a moment of inspiration, Rift reached a paw forward and touched it against the stale earth in front of him. Next to the rosemary a sprout sprung from the ground and began to grow, blossoming into a gorgeous sunflower that seemed to shine under the lights. He wasn't really sure what he inspired him to grow that specific flower, but it reminded him of Enka. "You're the light of my life, Enka. I don't know what I'd do without you and Sebastian. I'll protect this Kingdom. I'll find others that will help me protect this Kingdom, for your sake, for Atinneas's sake, for Oliver's sake, for everyone."

@Enka
(sorry for the short reply)