She'd arrived in Eridanus too late. Going to the cave back then, when Oliver had told her where to find Rift, had been too intimidating. She'd been scared of coming here. Why, she didn't know. It was some instinctual hatred and fear of this place that drove her away. She understood it better now - if she really had been Blackberry then...this was the place where the battle had happened. Perhaps wisps of her memory were bleeding through from the past. How that was possible without it all coming back to her was confusing, but she didn't question it. Not yet. She needed to confirm all of this first, find out what had happened to her.

But Rift wasn't here now. She went to the place that Oliver had directed her to too long after he'd told her. Nobody was here. The garden she'd heard about that served as the central nexus of the Kingdom was abandoned, much of it overgrown.

She sighed and sat down at the edge. Looking at it now didn't stir any particular memories, but a sense of wrongness settled at the back of her head. She didn't want to get closer to the tree. Confused and rather put out, she leaned over and began to preen her feathers, hoping that it would make her feel better.

@Jayberry

This wasn't what she wanted.

She still had fire in her blood, hatred and fight and war pulsing in her veins as much as blood, but she'd been trying to be better.

Mother had left because she couldn't leave the past behind, couldn't make herself anew. So she was trying, trying to be different. To be something else, something completely other than she'd been before.

But it wasn't that easy, and it scared her. What if... what if she never was fixed? Never proved herself? Never got Mother to come back, to accept her and her pups?

She'd sworn off violence, as much as it went against her very being, was as much a part of her as her fur and her bones and her gem and being a moose-goose, but she'd been bid to attack, to maul, this Gembound. She didn't want to, although her blood sang at the thought, her heart wrenched, and she'd paced and paced and paced in the tunnel that held her daughter's gemstone.

It was for Nettle. For Nettle, for G- 'His name is Agony, dammit! What kind of Mother can't even remember their child's name?', so she slunk through the forest, ears keen, though she didn't have to look hard, the bird's pristine white feathers all-but glowing.

She dropped herself low, stretching herself out as she begun to slink forward, and then-'shit!' she was out of practice, a twig snapping under her paw, and she stilled, praying that the goose hadn't heard her.

@Nameless

At the sound of a snapping twig, the goose froze and turned around. Had she missed someone? Was there someone from the Kingdom of Eridanus still around? No...as she looked back into the line of trees she saw...someone. All shrouded in night with glowing amber eyes. Her mind flicked somewhere for a second, as if something had clicked into place, but she didn't know what it was. As she looked at this creature, all horrible, gangly, and monstrous, she felt nothing but fear.

Fear and...something else. Something she couldn't identify, but she pushed it aside. She took a deep breath to steady herself. This wasn't a good time to be getting worked up, especially over someone's appearance. Perhaps they were lonely or maybe they'd just been walking up to see who she was. She certainly stuck out - perhaps not as much as other caves, with the rainbow of color that she sat within, but white among green was still easy to see.

She managed to get a gentle smile on her expression, focusing on the gentle weight of the stone on her chest. It was comforting, almost warm - familiar. "Hello," she called softly. "Are you...a part of the Kingdom of Eridanus? Or are you on your own? I'm...ah..." she paused. "A friend. I'm not going to hurt you."

@Jayberry

The goose was nice, and that was all-the-worse. If they'd been mean, or cruel like Mother she could have justified this, could have lashed out and claimed self-defense, felt not half-so horrible, but here was her attempt at being something better broken, and even worse by the goose being so kind.

The wolf hesitated as she was addressed, finding that anger rising in her throat for a moment at being thought to be a member of the Kingdom (cowards-pathetic-soft-useless-thieves-murderers!) but if she grew angry then she'd regret it forever, Mother would never forgive her, so she gave a stilted, wobbly shake of her head, eyes never leaving the goose. "I am a b-" but no, she wasn't a Bloodberry anymore, the Bloodberries were dead and gone, scattered to the Caves, her family was broken and she was all that was left, she and her daughter that she feared for constantly, and she was doing this for Nettle so she took a deep breath, steeled herself even as her heart thrummed in her ears. "I'm no one."

She took a step forward, licking her lips and giving what she hoped was an apologetic grin (when had she last given an apology? had she ever?) "I'm... sorry." the word was foreign, stilted on her tongue, leaving a sour taste, "I don't want to do this."

And then she was leaping forward.

Round: 1/?
Attempt: Pin Nameless
Defense:
Injuries:

The goose tilted her head, confused. No one? That sounded a little demeaning. "That's not true. Everyone is somebody. What's your name?" But she felt anxiety fluttering at her heart. Something wasn't right here. "S-sorry? For what?" But then she jolted with terror when the wolf-creature suddenly lunged forward. Ah, so that was what. The attack was too short and it gave her amble time to open her wings and flutter up into a nearby tree. Actually, she'd planned to escape but...

That voice. Those eyes. The way she lunged forward. She'd seen it before. Not in her memory but it jolted something so cemented in her very being, something that gave rise to equal parts horror, fear, and love, mixing together in her mind and creating nothing but confusion. She knew her. That...

That was Jayberry.

She looked different then her memories but something within told her that yes that was her, that was absolutely her. She'd seen her in this form at some point, she had to, since it rang true in the back of her mind. And with that realization came a whole waterfall of emotions that she didn't know how to deal with it and all she defaulted to was blank shock.

She alighted in the tree, a little precariously - her feet were not made for gripping on bark, and looked down, eyes wide, Blueberry's stone danging from her neck. "J-Jayberry? Is that you?" She almost wanted her to say no.

@Jayberry

What's your name?

And... and... She was Jayberry, but Mother had told her to renounce her name. The Bloodberries were gone, Mother had said, but she'd been a Bloodberry forever, her name had always been Jayberry, it was as much a part of her as Blueberry was her father and Blackberry her mother, gone though they may be.

So she was still Jayberry, surely, though there were no Berries any longer? She'd been named Jayberry, but that didn't mean she had to become Jay? A name was just that.

Her attack was too short--she was stupid, she was out of practice, stupidstupidstupid!--and she had to dig in her claws to keep from losing her balance as the white bird fluttered up into the trees, a frustrated snarl building in her chest, and though she didn't try to climb the tree she still paced, trotting back and forth at the base of it, glaring up at the bird, fur standing on end.

She wanted to leap, to pounce and rip and tear, but the bird had wings and could fly away and with all these trees, although the bird was so brightly colored it would be so easy to lose it, so she paced and paced and paced, ears flattening back in her frustration, trying to figure this out.

Out of practice, cycles out of practice. She was a fool, an idiot. She was going to return to the Collector without anything to show for her efforts, and leave her Nettlepup defenseless. Her eyes locked on that gemstone that dangled from that bird's neck, and it looked so familiar, but it couldn't be, because that would mean Papa was dead, not just missing, not just lost, would mean that he was forever lost to them her, that he was gonegonegone.

The bird knew her name, and she could have laughed. Of course, Huckle was blabbing. She'd hoped that, with how she looked, though monstrous as she may be, she'd have gotten a new start. But Huckle had seen her, had recognized her, and so even this bird knew her. "Yes, I am." she bared her fangs and paced-paced-paced, craning her neck to keep the goose in sight, regretting not focusing on practicing her magic.

@Nameless

Her tongue went dry. Her whole body froze. She looked down at the wolf below - Jayberry - and she tried to connect her to that pup she'd seen in her memories. The one that had been speared by the crystal spike, that apparently had once been just a child...a baby. That she'd taken in, twisted, made to hurt and murder and thirst for blood. And now she was like this.

Faced with her past - a real, tangible piece of it - was almost too much for the goose and tears collected swiftly in her eyes. "I'm sorry," she whispered, without meaning to. "Oh god I'm so sorry. I did this. I did this to you. I...oh my god." She gasped and fell back in her tree, struggling to keep a hold with her webbed feet while tears ran unbidden down her cheeks. She was Blackberry. She had once been her. She knew it. She knew it for a fact because...because when she looked down at this wolf, this horrible, ferocious, terrible wolf that had tried to hurt her...

She was proud of her.

@Jayberry

'I'm sorry,'

She'd just met the bird, what did it have to apologize for? It was trying to misdirect her, surely? Or... or, well, she didn't know what the other 'or' was, maybe it was 'or' the bird was damn crazy, and then the damn thing was crying, babbling about how it did 'this' to her, and what 'this' was she didn't know, and that familiar anger roiled in her chest, and she paced-paced-paced, barrel heaving as she took deep breaths, trying to snuff it out, she was here to maul and tear not to rip and mangle and kill, she'd sworn she'd never kill again in hopes that Mother would take her back

and if Mother found out that she'd killed this goose just for apologizing, she'd never take her back.

So she growled, paced-paced-paced, snapped "Crazy bird!" and shook her head, still glaring up at it, still trying to figure out how to get it down so she could get that damned wing, finally remembered that, oh, her paws were different now, she hadn't put them to much use, and reared up, set them into the tree's trunk, testing her grip and digging in her claws.

@Nameless

Her body was still overcome with sobs, her whole form shaking as she looked down at the wolf pacing below. She doesn't recognize me. Of course not, I look nothing like her. Or...well, nothing like me. How I'm supposed to look. Her train of thought halted in that second. What was she supposed to "look like?" Like this? All white and pure and pristine, unmarred by her past, or bloody and mutated and horrible. The evil within reflected on the outside.

But she wasn't a monster. She was good. That was what she prided herself in - how good she could be to others. She was gentle and kind and she did her best to help people and that was enough, right? Right? But now that she'd seen what she'd been before, the carnage and blood she'd wrought, all the misery she'd sown, for others and for her "children"...she wasn't so sure anymore.

How could anyone atone for that? How could any action make up for all that violence and blood and destruction?

Jayberry's voice snapped her out of her thoughts and back into reality and her heart leaped when the wolf began trying to scale the tree. Why is she trying to murder me?! But the answer came quickly - she was her daughter. It was what she had been raised to do.

"Stop! Stop! Please, just stop!" She opened her wings and clumsily jumped off of the tree, taking to the air and hovering above her as best she could. She swallowed hard. She'd told Oliver and Giggle that she'd only tell people she trusted. People that knew would want to kill her, put her down for her crimes. But it wasn't like Jayberry was going to hunt her righteously for knowing who she was. And she was already trying to kill her. "Stop it, please! I'm..." the words caught in her throat, dry and painful, but she forced them out, however much she hated to say it. "I'm Blackberry! I'm your mother!"

It hurt to say it because now that she was saying it, with finality, with certainty...she accepted all of that. All of that bloody history. That evil that she'd been before. She was accepting that that was who she'd been before, even if she couldn't remember. It settled heavy in her stomach like a rock.

@Jayberry

The muscles in her shoulders screamed, and she had to let go of the tree, dropping to the ground with a frustrated growl, looking up at the bird.

If she'd trained... if she'd bothered to try out her new body, instead of treating it as her old, not forgetting that her paws were shifted and warped, her claws sharper, her whole shape changed monstrousfreakheroldMotherwouldhavebeenproudofherbutshe'dthrownherawaywhenshe'dseenwhatshe'dturnedinto, she could have been up that tree and gone with the wing already, instead of terrorizing the bird, drawing this out.

This was supposed to be quick, the Collector had even told her to get in and out quick. Torturing... it still ran in her blood, thrummed in her veins, but she didn't want to any more, wanted to keep the other Gembounds off her back for her pup's safety, to try and earn back Mother's favor, her family's favor, but here she was again terrifying the bird.

And her mind had been clearer since she changed, she realized, watching as the bird took to the air. There was frustration there, yes, but none of that mindless fury at being unable to reach it. It was out of reach now, yes, and would have been even without her added bulk that came with her change. But before, she would have thrown herself in the air, snapped ineffectually at those tailfeathers, tried to scramble up the tree.

Now, though, she just paced and paced and paced, snarling up at it.

"I'm Blackberry! I'm your mother!"

The world slowed around her, and she took in the bird. Snow white feathers, bright red eyes. Maybe, maybe, maybe, she looked in those eyes, maybe, maybe, maybe, there was something familiar in there, maybe, maybe, maybe, and something hysterical rose in her chest, maybe, maybe, maybe, but there was no way this bird was Mother, maybe, maybe, maybe, it was Mother's opposite, maybe, maybe, maybe, if Mother looked in a mirror that showed your opposite, maybe, maybe, maybe, that would be it, maybe, maybe, maybe, pristine snow white feathers where she'd had marred monochrome, maybe, maybe, maybe, not a mutation to be found, nothing sticking out from her feathers, maybe, maybe, maybe, where Mother had been resplendent in her monstrousity, maybe, maybe, maybe, and Mother hadn't been able to fly at the end, maybe, maybe, maybe, where this bird hovered in the air with no effort, maybe, maybe, maybe.

"LIAR!"

The sound surprised even her, and she reared up to snarl at the bird, her weight resting back on that muscle-thick tail, "Crazy bird! Come down here!"

She dropped back down, maybe, maybe, maybe, lunged up and reached at the far-away bird with those wrong-paws, maybe, maybe, maybe, "My Mother's gone," maybe, maybe, maybe, "Crazy bird!"

@Nameless